ok. long peni--- i mean post

to begin with : let me just say that me and mike had a great time bonding while isolating what exactly makes "the cut/copy 'good' person" tick ... but : before ( and also if i get around to ) i post about our little chat ... let me first get this off my chest...

FUCK YOU AARON. FUCK YOU BONNIE. FUCK YOU HEATHER. FUCK YOU DEVLIN-SCHWIMMER. AND FUCK ANYONE ELSE WHO TELLS ME THAT A GOD-DAMN'D APPLICATION FORM IS EASY TO FILL OUT. IT IS DIFFICULT FOR ME, HOW CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT?!

to explain : I already fucked up the WoTC application by putting my address in where my phone number should be ... IN BLACK INK ... so basically i have to get another one or use white-out >> BOTH CASES give away the fact that I am inept for working and they wouldn't hire me in the first place... SOMEWHERE i might have could gotten a job... TOO FUCKING BAD for james >> oh... wait >> there is more! I have to pass up TWO of the fucking applications because I DONT KNOW HOW TO ANSWER "May we contact your previous employer" ... WELL FUCK ME I could have swore I told them I'd never been employed before ... but now they ask me if they can contact my non-existant previous employer... WELL FUCK DE DO -- SO HERE I GO EVERYBODY >>> I'M GOING TO TELL THEM NO they cannot contact my employer -- WHY? BECAUSE HE DOESNT FUCKING EXIST... LA DA FUCKING DOOO... oh wait... that's not all buddy ... I've got two pages of BLANK SPACE where I can sit and write ALL THE PLACES I'VE WORKED... well then... what do I put there? oh.. yeah.. I ALREADY TOLD THEM THIS WAS MY FIRST EMPLOYMENT AND NOW THEY WANT ME TO PUT DOWN MY PREVIOUS EMPLOYER'S NAME, PLACE OF WORK, PHONE NUMBER TO CONTACT HIM.... what the fuck. this is why I need help filling these god damned things out... because I cannot fill them out myself... they dont make sense... they dont make any god-damned sense.

where was I?
Oh, yes, my conversation with michael.
... bleh. it doesn't make any difference anyway.
ah well.

I was going to pick up a music-ceedee that someone threw today : but then i forgot to pick it up and when i went to go get it someone had already broken it into a billion of pieces : how very sad : ah well ( again ) - oh.. guess what everyone? I've dropped my 3rd period class on the grounds that the teacher pissed me off : and after the seniors leave the school ( aproximately 15-17 days ) i myself will be leaving as well ( dropping out and getting a G.E.D. ) - and I'm entirely sure about this... I have to start my life somewhere, and take responsibility for my actions - staying in school and fighting a battle which I myself cannot win is pointless - I need to become someone - my "incubation" as mr. foley ( who by the way was a very smart man and it's a pity he wont be here when i leave ) put it - is over -- or needs to be, for that matter.

so. anyone need someone to fill a job and would be willing to put in a good word for me somewhere? I need a damn source of income so I can prod myself into action. Vroom Vroom, I'm like one of Heather's cars ... crappy ignition.. ah hah hah hah.

ok. I'm going to go try and find 30year old women in our general area who'd like to have a 19 year old virgin boy to 'teach' how to have sex, give oral sex, and/or learn how to 'accept' physical pleasure. Hoo - bloody - rah. Napster saw how the bus is after school. i was suppose to stay ( away ) until 8pm - when my father was going to pick me up - and i asked heather ( actually i've been asking heather for the past couple of days if she could do something after school - bleh ) to help me but she was busy with mr.-whatever-his-name-is- classwork - anywho... i'm trailing off into a daily schematic of my life.

oh.
yes... one more thing :

TZA