July 30, 2003

I wanted to post something great right now - but I can't think of anything. I'll try back later, I guess.

July 29, 2003

[busstops in Seattle]

So there i was... walking down the street... looking for the right busstop that would take my to my new home...

and what do i see...

Mr. Collins himself...

only, it wasn't Mr. Collins. It was his simulacra... seriously... this guy was like, the clone of Collins, only without the facial hair. I was about to walk up to the guy and call him James, just to see if he'd respond.

If he had facial hair, i would have thought it was him. I'm still a little unsure if maybe... just maybe it was Collins.

Oh well... that's really all i had...

but hey, it got me FIRST POST GLORY!!! so I don't really care.

mwahahah.

meh.

July 28, 2003

I think it just means that they are... i don't know...

away from the computer...

that's just my thought.

Though, speakin' of unnecessary things being put out for all to see...

what about these raining slugs that everyone is complaining about... Mr. Collins?

Care to address that one?
[addendum]

So in a weird twist... part of the last to rows of the comic scanned wrong and I never noticed.

Ah well... I'll get to correcting that sometime.

In the meantime, I think you all get the point. jOe gets mad. jOe goes Frenzied. jOe crushes people. We all laugh.

Really, if you couldn't understand that despite the scan error... then i hate you.

Really.

Cause then you're just dense.

Dense likes James.



No, not the asian James.

That's Jimmoi. We're talking TZA-James.

Yes. That one. Now then, back to...


Like James flirting with a gay ski instructor.

While sucking on a candy-cane-stick

And talking about soap.

Now do you all want to be that dense? No. I didn't think so.
trapped9dots away messege :

resting...call if you're stopping by or want to talk to me.

===

GreenEyedFox16 away messege :

watching a movie. had a shit day at work. dont' feel good. call if you need anything

===

cyclope45 away messege :

sleepings
but call me to wake me up dammit.


======

what the fuck is with people saying " call me " in an away messege?
Im not around at the moment, so if you want to find out, call me.
ColossaljOe Comics: The Pre-Issue Funzoness

Note: This comic comes just before the main one... well chronologically. In reality, Jimmoi made this one after that one i posted before... eh... who really cares?

Now presenting, in it's fully technicolor, HDTV, Plasmafied, Redistributed Glory... ColossaljOe Comics, the Pre-ISSUE!













Wowee wow wow... wasn't that just fun?!
I love people who post my girlfriend, Christina Aguliara, shaking her ass for me. It just makes my day.

July 27, 2003

i have learned much.
but im still inebriated.

so um.
later.

July 26, 2003

I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking :
" WHAT THE FUCK, PGYMIES?! "
and you want to go shoot yourself,
because Jimmoi's post was terrible.

You're asking yourself :
" Where is the love? "

I'll tell you where the fucking love is.
The love took a vacation to hawaii where it's relaxing.
Sitting down on a beach somewhere telling people to go fuck themselves.
Thats where love is.

But love sent me an email a bit ago
from it's palm pilot ( yes, love has a palm pilot )
and it sent me two images.

Told me to send them to you.

shake shake shake

boingy boingy boingy


Love, Love.

July 25, 2003

ARE YOU MY TYLER DIRTON?


click the image.
it is a link.

July 23, 2003

July 21, 2003

nasCAR not nasCOON

( oh my god this is so funny )
( they call him three times, so dont stop it )

July 20, 2003

Why must it be raining slugs?
http://www.infiniumlabs.com/


drool.

and

http://www.infiniumlabs.com/beta.html


die.
Under the heading of "Shit I didn't know but should have guessed:"

Weddings are an assload of work.
Pinkos and George took me to the Bite of Seattle today, where we had much lesbian sex. Oh, wait. No we didn't - but I had your attention, didn't I?

So - Pinkos and George took me to the Bite of Seattle. It was awesome opposum. George and I went through "free stuff" buffet line (george called it the "hot chick" buffet line. She even asked one of the girls out!). We got lots of free stuff and ate all of it - well, not all of it. Some of it had to come home with us. and none of it was hot, throbbing cock - REPEAT: we did not eat hot trobbing cock today. At the end of the buffet line, they gave everyone rolaids. How thoughtful.

There was a wishing well on the way in. We stopped by it twice - once on the way in and once on the way out - and I made the same wish both times.

Tony Roma's = goodness. I learned that today.

July 18, 2003




Excellent
Ooooh... Hacking.

Lemme see.... This "Palat," (which means "Temple," no?) has AT&T Worldnet service. As they don't provide any free services, they have your billing info. If nothing else, they have the physical address where the contact was initiated from. If dialup, then it's a matter of checking where the call to their CO originated. If DSL or other broadband, then they have the street address where it terminates. To top that off, if it became an issue and this info was needed, it would SERIOUSLY torque them off to look it up. Even to call in a trouble ticket on a T1 line, with the circuit ID in hand no less, Qworst gets all pissy if you don't have the street addresses of both ends also.

Right now, a network admin has two choices:

1) Send off an email to abuse@att.net regarding this "attempted hacking" with the IP addresses and times of use. This would result in the person responsible for this getting an interesting letter in the mail, maybe even a phone call from a less-than-amused AT&T representative.

2)Contact the National Infrastructure Protection Center, a joint program between the FBI and Homeland Security. File an incident report regarding the attempted "hacking." Then this "Palat" individual gets a phone call, letter or visit from the government. Most likely just a letter.


You do understand, Palat, that "hacking" or gaining access to another person's computer, is a federal crime. Attempting to do so is not treated much differently.

Of course, nothing you've done has been destructive or used any resource not available to any visitor of this site. But, it's really not wise to do that kind of thing over a connection you paid for or gave any personal information to get.

...

So, all that having been said.... jEFF, are you using the wireless connection you steal from your neighbor to post?

July 17, 2003

You're damn right


Now that - that is some funny shit there.

"I'm just trying to prevent cancer, that's all..."



All we need is a study showing that breast cancer can be prevented by frequent massaging.

For that matter, any women wishing to start such a study, I'll be more than happy to help....
I got to thinking....

About people loosing touch with their "friends" after high school. Also, people pick up new friends – people that they went to school along side but didn't like or just didn't know.

...

Every now and then, someone will say "remember so-and-so?" And yes, I remember them. It's like "why don't I talk to them anymore?"

Oh, yeah, we all got jobs.

Our schedules don't demand that we all be in the same building for eight hours a day.

That's right.

Not to mention, that person kind of turned into an idiot. They always seemed a little slow. Even back in elementary school, they were always a little behind the curve. But, they were cool, and so you were friends.

All the way through high school sometimes. Since you were growing up right along side them, you didn't notice the changes.

It was all too gradual. Then you look back at a picture, and realize it.

Shit. That was 15 years ago. I was only four feet tall. None of us were very bright.

Now, they're a fucking dumbshit. Or just odd. You come to the conclusion that, even though for most of your life, you've known them, they've turned funny. Shit, how did that happen? We've read most of the same books, known the same people, been through the same shit. How come I'm me, and they're fucking weird?

...

So, you involve yourself in some sort of social function with them. Thinking, hey, maybe it was just a phase.

You were right, "dumbass" was just a phase. A phase on the way to "total fucktard."




I leave Tuesday. Since I need to be up there at five o'clock, I took that day off and was planning a nice, leasurely morning. Now, I have to be at work an hour or so that day to give instruction to the people who will be doing my job during the time I'm gone.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Not to mention, all kinds of shit is coming up for this weekend. Man, I have enough shit to do just packing up. I haven't got the time or energy for much else.

Already promised I'd be at a wedding Saturday. Figure, I've never been to one, so I better at least scope it out to see what all happens before my brother gets married next year.

That. Fuck. I gotta wear a tux. Well, don't have to, but it would just look stupid if I was the only (or is it olny?) groomsman without a tux. Originally, his fiancé said "you can wear whatever you want." Heh, I got her to do an about face on that one quick-like. I think the mention of an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt, shorts and sandals was what did it. No damn sense of humor.


...


I suppose I've rambled on long enough now. Look, a long post from me that doesn't include an image. Been a while hasn't it?
JOIN MY ARMY


This is disturbing.


Or maybe just so fucked up it's funny. I'm not really sure.

...

Fuckit.

Time for more coffee.

July 16, 2003

[to drew et. al.]

i live at

2717 Western Ave #330
Seattle, Wa 98121

though i'm moving this month to the new location, which be at:

Jeff Paulino
3210 34th Ave S,
Seattle, Wa 98144

REMEMBER THAT SLUGS! Bahhhhhh

whee....

that is all.
so.

we went to see LXG - or for the acronimcally challenged : League of Extra Ordinary Gentlemen. I would write a review for this film but I fear that by merely typing out the title of it again that I might lose my eyesight. Aaron was informed that it " got a one out of five stars " - so already I knew this was going to be bad, but I choked it and told myself : " Everyone has different tastes "

Yes, well some things are just hard to swallow ( my penis, for example ) - and this film just happened to be one of them. Unlike terminator three - where the action " grabbed you " and you were just like " wow, what is one terminator going to throw the other terminator into next? A vat of lava? Shark infested waters? A playschool? " - whereas ( title of film with-held )'d action scenes looked more like... moving pictures on a screen. Eessh.

On a lighter note, when we went to go see the film I ran into an old college of mine. Well not college - more like someone I had the hots for and nobody knew because she was in the class above mine. Yes, there was people that I looked up to in school because I was once a sophmore and they were once seniors. Hard to imagine. So very little - if not none of you - know her. Her name was Rhiannon, red hair and a wild streak, although from talking to her she seems more ' calmed down ' than what I remember ( she mentioned she was engaged, and marriage calms/subdues just about everyone ) - some few people who might remember her are Brice, Breanna, and maybe Mike - mostly because he could have probably had sex with her. Merely because Mike seemed to have sex with everyone. She always makes me think of whats-her-name, the one who married someone named Michael and he use to go to Target with Jimmoi? Umm.... She also had red hair. Kinda loopy though. Ah well I forgot her name. But I figure the only reason why she reminds her of the girl is because of the red hair. And Rhiannon seems to have a thing for horses and horse shows and so on and so forth.

The day before that I went off to the Borders in Tacoma and met an old slug member : Mrs. Devlin-Schwimmer, otherwise known as Shannon. I would tell you what she looked like - being that a good 89% of the board found her attractive, but I can vaguely even remember what she wore. My memory of 'what people look like' is almost nil. In any event - we walked around book stores and talked. She makes fun of me, and I make fun of her. She said that she's 32 and Im 20 - and that in twelve years maybe I will find ... ah, I believe the word she used was : " peace " - maybe I would find peace in my life. I laughed and said " A peace of ass, maybe. " - har har har. She will be entering her home-made Jams in the puyallup fair. My suggestion to all on the board is to go to the fair, find her bloody jams, and regaurdless of how they taste or whatnot - if they allow you to vote, vote for her. Sure she'd probably get upset about us slugs "swaying" the votes in her direction, but I dont believe she reads the board so she wont know!

heh.
See everyone, Im doing pretty good for myself.
I've held dialogue with two women in the past week.
Of course, one is engaged, the other married.

Hrmph.
Im off to play Morrowind some more.

July 15, 2003

er...test?
I don't know how to post a song - but if I did, this would be it:

New favorite
They all say it
I'll say it, too
You've got a new favorite

Your old stand by
Your right hand guy
Is nothing new
You've got a new favorite

Why do you lie about love
I saw the light go out

And should I go
You won't say so
I know it's true
I know you've got a new favorite
I know you've got a new favorite
You've got a new favorite


That's Allison Krauss. I am, for whatever reason, loving this song at the moment. I advise you all to listen to it.
I woke up late last night and caught Steve looking at porn sites. Unfortunately the site that he was staring at at the time was the update of Aarons porn site... This is what I found...


Now you all know the truth about Aaron and our roommates...
Tee Hee Hee

July 14, 2003

twenty eight days later - you realised you've wasted a good 8$

so for the past two weeks, for all intents and purposes, I've been dead.
everything seemed to not make sense to me - and if you were to ask anyone who was around me : i didnt make sense.
but who cares for making sense anyway?

I'll tell you a couple of things I know for absolutely sure : Nothing is for absolutely sure. You may think that you've got a grasp on things or that you know whats going on or who someone is or what will happen next and so on and so forth and blah blah blah - this almost sounds like Im going to make a song to a really terrible background music and constantly remind you to wear sunscreen. I'll let you in on a little secret - you dont need sunscreen when you don't go outside. So my song would more likely be something along the lines of this :

" Stock up on caffinated soda so that you can stay up for prolonged periods of time playing games on your computer. Keep the blinds closed. Hate your siblings, they'll hate you. Listen to your parents only when you figure that they'll give you money. Dont work at a box factory. Smile sometimes. Dont forget to breathe. Remember to eat. Know when to give up. Ask for help when you need it. Give help when it is needed. Know who is respectable and who is dependable. When something is rotten, throw it away. Clean your room sometimes. Stop masturbating. You dont have to talk so much. Remember to breathe. Risk everything. "

see. I can see it already. Wait, didnt Baz Luhrman do that song? Fuck. I hate that man even more now. And if he didnt, I still hate him. I could give a good long winded spiel about things I hate. Boy do I hate a lot of things. I dont necissarily know why. Does anyone know where to go to get your head looked at? Im seriously coming to the conclusion that I need psychiatric drugs. No, not to make it to where I am more bareable to you people - but to where I am more bareable to myself. I find myself doing things that I dont want to do, and feeling things that there are no rational reason to feel. I find myself in constant struggle with not myself but my own self - ah, that wont make sense to you. Not " who I am " but rather getting " who I am " to do " what I want " - and to have " what I want " coincide with " what makes me happy. " Im guessing most people, ie: you, dont have these sorts of problems. And I'm guessing that is a determining factor as to what makes me so loopy. What makes me eccentric. What makes me such an asshole, and difficult to deal with on certain subjects and occasions.

What would you think, I ask of the board members. What if I did get on drugs, and the ever-misanthropic pessmistic ball-of-hate and eccentric behavior that not even myself can quite pin down becomes nothing more than Joe Average and I cut my hair and get a job and get a girlfriend and start. being. normal. ... happy. nice.

Do you think thats right? Do you think thats even possible?

Fuck I don't even know where to begin. I dont know who to go to, or how to get there. I have no help from my family because quite frankly mental disease or disorder " doesnt exist " with my family. Years of growing up with my father yelling at the television whenever someone on welfare complained or a court decision went with a murderer because he was " abused and raised incorrectly " have even desensitized me to such things. I also inherited a very strong sense of pride. I'd run myself into the ground before I'd admit defeat - and that I got from my father as well. My father is disabled because of the army and could get plenty of money from them had he only applied for assistance. But no. He is deaf and he is struggling on his own. He wont say " I need help " - he'll just deal with it.

Funny how time works.
Funny how the longer I find myself living the more I seem to be a clone of my father.

I've tried to stay away from the board for a long time now. As you can see this ... post is more like a journal entry than anything. Next I'll be writing encrypted poetry to bore and annoy the hell out of the whole lot of you. Ha ha ha. I actually, a bit ago, thought about shutting the slugs-board down. I hated each and every single one of you. I didnt want to bother with associating or knowing any of you anymore. Dont worry, the board is still here - and you're reading this. Maybe one day when you come to the board and it just. isnt. here anymore - you'll know why. Actually - this is costing me 25$ a month. So when push comes to shove, this might have to go.

Zoom.

Im going away now.
Here comes a poem.

[sex dungeon o' fun]

Hey drew,

you go to seattle art museum eh? you should stop by some time, i live like one block away from that :). Of course not for long...

I'm moving to some house in seattle... sweet, has it's own pool table... and one day i'll explain about the sex dungeon (which i know james will immediately pounce on that and make some horrific post about penises and me... when we all know what he's doing is projecting... but enough of that)

Good times, except for today which is primary moving day... i suppose that's better than the last week of clean the damn house week.

BAhhhhhhhh

July 13, 2003

The years come and go... each person's marked by their birthdate... what if no one knew anyones birthday? How then would the masses find the divine 'number' of their being?

There in the long dusty realm we find
Combinations- pretty eyes!!!
Smell the ?roses?
Pass by...
Cool longing
Firey hell
Fun to be had by all...
Let the ball bounce.

July 11, 2003

Airport good.


tee hee hee, my first post!

July 10, 2003

[Wheee!!!]

Fun fun, i know have an airport card, which means wireless networking...

right now i'm using someone else's cable internet connection... how sweet it is.

mwahahahahaha...

... ehh... okay that's all i had to say. laters.

July 09, 2003

ATTENTION SLUGS


shit - are you bored?

well go to this website :
http://soldat.cyberion.pl/download.htm and download the game.


Im going to work on getting a dedicated server up and running.
yum.

July 08, 2003

some of us enjoyed terminator 3 a little too much.


cyclope45: im attracted
cyclope45: to arnold
cyclope45: if only he was a woman
cyclope45: id fuck him
im going to shoot myself.

dont click here.

fuck.
Leave it to james to find a guy wearing a penis collage suit...

Again continuing the trend of finding collages of penises...

Now, i'm no psychologist but one would say that you have an unnatural, almost fetish-level, fascination with penises and phallic objects. This is possibly a manifestation of latent gay/homosexual tendancies that probably started back several years ago. As your four year mark approaches, we should expect to see more and more phallic-style collages in anything you do or speak of... until one day you actually start wearing something similar to what you posted...

no no... wait... that's not right.
...

...

i am a psychologist. heh, go figure.
so I hear Jeff had A RIOT of a time on the fourth of july. went out, bought himself a suit, and cruised the gay bars of seattle. of course. the rest is hearsay - but maybe Jeff can fill us in on the details. I heard he was seen leaving a bar called : " Hard Tooled " on Pike street with six men of different ethnicities. Something about wanting " variety in life " // " trying new things " and " no meat in his salad " - I dont know.

I got a quickshot photo with a secret camera I had hidden in my skull. By using Jeff's "technology" he spoke of long before with harry wappler, you can actually see what he was saying at the time. Umm.

SAY IT WITH JEFF!!!


thats right bitches.
oh.
and dont forget ... to ...

PARTY HARD!!!

July 07, 2003

click here


DAAAAAAAA DA DA DA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
DOOOOO DOODO DOOOD OOOOOOOO
BUM BUM DA DDAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!

PHEAR!
I am suppose to post the following for Heather :

She was recently, just yesterday, told that she was not fat.
The person who told her this, however, was obese beyond all recognition.
Heather would like to express her dismay at when fat people
tell her that she isnt fat because : " What do they know anyway? "


there.
augh.

I still dont have anything of any real importance to post.
Im still thinking about things.

July 06, 2003


bleh.
Why? Is there anything you do on your PC that I can't do on my Apple? Doubt it.

Anyway, let's not have this argument again, it's pointless.


On to the movies:

Say it....
You can't fight Teh Buttsexx

Yes, it was.

July 04, 2003

July 03, 2003

July 02, 2003

[?]

I hate you Zach-o. That's gonna give me nightmares and it will be your fault, and I hate you for it.

July 01, 2003

Thanks, Mr. Bradbury who never calls me anymore -

and in response: The only condition I've previously been commited for was related to a lack of any desire to gain weight, even when it was not feasible for me to otherwise survive. I don't think the two can be connected.

The way it was explained to me, this qualifies as an L&I claim because we have a documented history of staff asking for help with dealing with this client's behaviors, which has been denied or ignored. The fact that I've not had any pertinent history of homicidal ideation, whatever that is, or of flying off the handle in the way that I did. This was immediately precipitated by him basically commiting assault and my employer not being helpful to me in dealing with it.

It probably helps that another former employee that had a similiar situation with this company now works in L&I's "claims" department. I wonder if it's possible to make certain it goes through her.