August 30, 2004

Hungry? Have a bunch of random items around the house, but no idea what to do with any of a lil tip. Mix: 2 cans Walla Walla Onion Chili; 1 can Stewed Tomatoes, 1 can of white chunk Turkey, 1 can of shrimp and 3 chopped up hotdogs. For seasoning and flavor use Johnnys salt and A-1 and about a quarter of a can of Rainier beer. Now i will warn you this has a funny texture but is absolutely delish. I used about a half a can of the beer, but i found that it makes the stew (or whatever you want to call it....gumbo just doesnt fit because it doesnt have the cajun seasoning) pretty heavy so you could probably get away with a skootch less. Also i wanted to add maybe some peppers (the greens and the yellows) and possibly even mushrooms but that might have made it heavier....and i didnt have peppers and mushrooms. Try this recipe

August 22, 2004

Dammit, read this



Went down to the Museum of Glass today. Saw Davide and his crew working. Ran into Kayla.

I really need to go down there more often.

August 16, 2004

Thanks for the goodbye, Bonnie.

I really don't care for personal goodbyes. Not very good at them. Especially leaving Pilchuck, everyone is so close. There will be waterworks, and then I'll join in. Just not pleasant. It seems electronic goodbyes are much more civil.

I am back now. It seems there was some confusion as to that. I got back yesterday morning. Snuck out at 9am without saying many goodbyes. It's just better that way. I don't know when I'll see most of those people again, so it's best to just disappear in the night. Common technique amongst the experienced PIlchuck group. Although, the goodbye hugs are always nice.

Must continue on....
So when I moved to Florida I was like "So man, what are hurricanes like?" and my associate looked at me not really saying much but "rainy, windy--we don't really get much in Orlando as for Hurricanes." So he left it at that and I didn't really question it until we started getting some really wicked rain storm a month ago--rain storms where the sky turns black around 4pm.

Wednesday I found out, hey a Hurricane is on it's way--EXCELLENT! I'm down. Unfortunately at the last second it turns it's eye on Orlando--the first time in 44 years. SAWEET! A CATEGORY 4 HURRICANE COMING MY WAY! I was so stoked I nearly shit myself.

Pre hurricane--nothing much, just rain overflowing from the gutters.

the beast was tied up to the fence: hopefully that'll hold it.

After an inch of water fell from the sky in less than 30 minutes, flooding commensed.


Insert roof being blown off buildings.

Insert the church loosing it's penis through the roof.

Fallen billboard #1042

Dont' you love the way the trees rip out of the ground and tear apart fences while breaking concrete sidewalks? Oh yeah, it gets me hot and bothered.

Fallen trees #301, 302, 303, 304, 305

No one's getting into Taco Bell anytime soon el oh el.

So, after my run with Hurricane Charley, I decided that I'm not much a fan of these weather terrorists. 18 more months in this place...

August 12, 2004

And so it goes...I will be leaving in less than a week for the great state of Missouri to attend the wonderful and prestigous Wentworth Military Academy. How I was accepted to this school, I do not know, and how I got the scholarship that pays for me to go to school, well, that remains a mystery as well. All I know is that I will be an officer in the United States Army in 2 years and from this point on am no longer an enlisted soldier. I have the shitty title of a Cadet. I don't know how this is all going to work out, because it all just kind of hit me. Oh shit, this time next week I will have been in another state for a day. Weird.

I'll be back in november for 10 days for vacation, and I have a month in December for vacation, and then 11 more days in march or april and get out of school in may for summer vacation, so it should all go by fairly quickly.

I don't really see any of you that often, so I don't really feel like saying that I'll miss you. I don't think any of you ever considered me a friend anyway. Bradbury, you are an amazing human being. Out of anyone, I wish you the best of luck because you were always the kindest to me, and to everyone for that matter. So with that being said...luck. Please keep being the honest person that you are. To the rest of you, minus the people who actually call me so I'll just say goodbye to you in person, good luck to you as well. May life smile it's funny little face upon you and may you all be happy or at least content. And I must say for the record, I hated high school. It was a prison for me, and I was so uncomfortable with myself. I think it's safe to say at this point in my life that even though I can't see into the future I'm happy with the now and every day I just find another reason to be happy. Aaron, I think I have you to thank for that whether you know it or not. So thank you. Bye for now, guys.

August 11, 2004

Man, Aaron, you really moved a long way. What, two, maybe three hundred feet. Daring of you.

I'll be there.

August 10, 2004

Yo Niggaz...

Friday August 20, we be having poker here. 10 dollar buy in, Texas Hold'em, winner take all. Blinds will be in place, and will increase with each player eliminated, if the game starts taking too long, we will go to timed blinds. It will start at 10, same apartment complex as before, just in F 204, instead of L 101.


"The Hunger Strikes!"

"The Hunger Strikes!"

I wrote jOe an email about a week ago, and I haven't heard back from
him. And then today I came across this newstory and I realize where
he's been all this time.

*Note: this article originally appears in the Seattle Times... but I
decided to post it hear because not everyone clicks the links.
Sometimes I don't. So for all those crazy copyright lawyer people...
I'm not claiming this as an original piece of work.

Alleged hungry burglar nabbed in spree

By Michael Ko
Seattle Times staff reporter

Julie Sanchez keeps a three-stone diamond ring and two pairs of
24-carat gold earrings in a ceramic container on her kitchen
windowsill. But the man who broke into her Shoreline house early
Sunday morning wasn't interested.
Instead, the hungry burglar gobbled a box of Creamsicles, six shrimp
kabobs, about a dozen mini corndogs, half a large package of Costco
lunch meats, two fruit drinks, a glass of milk, a dozen clumps of
frozen cookie dough and several large handfuls of M&Ms.

Sanchez figures he wolfed down everything in 15 minutes.

"We believe he actually heated up some of that food in the microwave,"
said Sanchez, 44, who was sleeping while the man ate.

The family dog's constant barking finally awakened her and her
husband, just in time for them to hear somebody running out the
sliding glass door.

The Sanchez family was the last victim of an unusual burglary spree
that ended later Sunday when Shoreline police arrested a man in his
late 20s. The man, who is in custody at the King County Jail, is not
being named because he hasn't been charged.

Investigators believe that starting Aug. 3, the man broke into as many
as 11 homes in Shoreline and Lake Forest Park, usually late at night
and often when the homeowners were sleeping. And while he occasionally
snatched fistfuls of cash, he usually had only one thing on his mind:

During one break-in, the man even thawed some frozen steaks, fried
them and ate them on the sofa while watching television, said King
County sheriff's Detective Christina Bartlett. In that case, the house
was unoccupied at first. The homeowners returned to confront the man,
who ran away.

In fact, the man was confronted on several occasions, even getting
into a fight at one house. But he ran away each time.

The brazen burglaries ended about 5:30 p.m. Sunday at Berean Bible
Church, on the 2300 block of North 185th Street in Shoreline.
Churchgoers noticed a stranger rifling through a woman's purse. They
held him down until police arrived.

The man had food-related evidence in his car that tied him to the
other crimes, Bartlett said. Police don't have a clear idea of his
motive yet, but are considering whether the man might have an eating
disorder or was just being bold, she said.

Sanchez believes the intruder first ate the Creamsicles, which were in
a outdoor freezer. Then he entered through the kitchen window, which
had been cracked open slightly before the family went to sleep.

When she surveyed the kitchen after the man had gone, drawers and
cabinets had been ransacked and the refrigerator and freezer doors
were flung wide open.

Food wrappers and the contents of her purse were scattered on the floor.

But she found her credit cards, as well as a $50 gift certificate that
was a birthday present for her husband. Other than food, the only
things missing were a small amount of cash from her purse and a jar of

"I have four kids, and all of them could have been exposed to who
knows what," Sanchez said. "People have endured a lot worse in these
kind of situations, and we're just really fortunate he was really

Copyright © 2004 The Seattle Times Company

I'm sorry, but that is just ultimate.

August 06, 2004

"Remember the jOe"

"Remember the jOe"

Mr. Collins' post about Zach-o and his glory days made me think of
some of the other people we have no associated with in some time.

Then I started thinking of what might have happened to them... to the
likes of Drew... that lesbian chick that Jimmy and James knew... (I
don't know if she was actually a lesbian, they just always seemed to
think she was)... Pinkos. Something like that.

That Air Force guy other than Jimmy...

And of course, the simple answer is... jOe must have eaten them.

So that's how I got to thinking about jOe...

Incidently, that's how I thought, wouldn't it be funny to do an email
recap of jOe.

Probably not, but it doesn't matter because it's my post, and not yours:

For the first few of these, I don't have my side of the convo
because it was never saved... the others should have mine

Date: Fri, 09 Feb 2001 00:07:21 -0000
From: joseph macauley
Subject: Re: life's little intricasies

Hay Jeff my good for nothin whore of a father gave me a faster computer. He
got the whore he was with pranet and had another kid more free labor in his
mind. The asshole bught the whore a new car and didn't give evon a used
one. Friday the ninth I take my driving test at 10 in the morning.

Colossal Joe

Date: Fri, 09 Feb 2001 23:06:35 -0000
From: joseph macauley
Subject: Re: life's little intricasies

I got my drivers licence today. Now I aave to bug my good for nothing dad
for a car.

Colossal Joe

Date: Mon, 02 Jul 2001 03:47:33 -0000
From: joseph macauley
Subject: Re: Just an email...

hay jeff

I have an interview for a job at chevern monday july 2.

I will tell you how it goes

Date: Tue, 03 Jul 2001 17:14:08 -0000
From: joseph macauley
Subject: come over

hey jeff

you should come over her on the fourth
food and fireworks

bring some thing to keep my brothers amused

Colossal Joe

As far as I can tell, this next email was actually meant for
Jimmy, and Joe was just sending it to me to relay to him -- but I
don't remember for sure

Date: Tue, 9 Jul 2002 21:46:33 EDT
Subject: (no subject)
View|Save 1 OK 7 lines Text
View|Save 2 Shown 4 lines Text

hey james
Hows the airforce dont tell anyone about your monkey rash nick
name. I was going to bring it up at Fox's but I could't rember. When
you get back I'll say "hay monkey rash". We should go to Fox's when you
get back. Until then enjoy the push ups and live fire drills.
the all

Date: Tue, 9 Jul 2002 21:55:43 EDT
Subject: more from joe

My brothers dog died and I have to dig the hole for it. my one brother
is a pot head and his cat almost got hit by lighting. I cant stand beer its
nasty tast and crapy oder make me think it is fore the morons of the world.

From: Jeff Paulino
Date: Wed, 4 Aug 2004 10:29:43 -0700
Subject: Yo jOe!
Reply | Reply to all | Forward | Print | Add sender to contacts list |
Show original
Hey jOe!

It's been a really long time since I talked to you or emailed you or
anything. To be honest, I don't even know if you still check this
email. Hopefully you do...

So how are things going with you? Do you still live at home? Still
working for your dad? Speaking of your dad, has he had anymore
illegitamate children with other women?

I think you're family will one day be the biggest family in the world.
Just a guess mind you.

Are your brothers still freaks? Well, maybe "freaks" is a bit harsh...

I was thinking of organizing another Paintball thing because Jimmy
will be coming back... at least that's what I hear, and I'm not sure
for how long... would you be up for that. It would be fun... MASSIVE

Anyway, I have got to get back to work, so respond to this, or else!



From: joseph macauley
Date: Wed, 04 Aug 2004 23:01:15 +0000
Subject: hay jeff
Reply | Reply to all | Forward | Print | Add sender to contacts list |
Show original
I check this e-mail adress every day. I would love to go paintballing. as
long a it is not when i am working at the fair agian they gave ma a
callback. thank god for the fair i dont have to help my dad and i wont see
my freaky little brothers "bitch brother has his perment" watch out . I
still live at home.

Yes, for all you who have nothing better to do than read this stuff,
there you go... and up-to-date report on jOe, that unstoppable menace.
While he doesn't say expressly that he's eaten Drew or the others...

I still suspect...
Always suspect...

August 05, 2004

Hello everyone. It seems the board still has some life in it yet.

I hadn't checked it, and therefore was not around to participate and contribute my ... ah, ever so warped perception of the school system we know as academia.

In stead, I'd like to do a recap on one of our slugs who moved on to bigger, better things.

Do any of you remember ...

Zach Staley???

Yes. Long ago, one of our catalytic slugs. The one who made us get up and do something - but he has long sinced moved onto his illustrious rap-star career. I recall when he first came up with the idea of being a rap star. It was when we were camping the last time he was out here, from the lonesome midwest. He thought it would be cool to come up with a "new hip hop dance" - one that would "really move ya body".

He grabbed a bat and wiggled his body, shaking his appendages like they were dead limbs.

" LOOK EVERYBODY, DO THE ZACHO! " he exclaimed.

the infamous "zacho dance"

It wasn't until later on, at the airport, when we were all saying our goodbyes to eachother that he donned his Proudly Served Veteran hat, saying "This looks like a trucker hat and those are the new thing in underground hip hop rap music, you uncultured fools!"

And he was right. We were uncultured fools. We didn't know nothing about no blackie swing music. Back in those days all negros were good for was picking cotton and stealing televisions, nobody ever thought they'd be a marketable resource to sell phat beats to. Nobody, with the exception of Zach.

zacho at the airport

I remember right as his plane was leaving, and mind you this is way before september eleventh when security was as tight as my little sister's cunt, when the airport security officers told him to take off his trucker hat as "it was unseemly" and "not fit for flying in" - I remember with great clarity him flipping off the officers and exlaiming " FUCK DA POLICE! KEEPIN DA BLACK MAN DOWN! "

zacho feels the black man's struggle

Yes, I remember the old Zach. The Zach who we all went road-skiing with. The Zach who we all thought was gay and told homosexual jokes about him when he wasn't around. The Zach who smelled funny even after taking a shower. The Zach who once fucked a girl in the butt, in a shower, and logged onto the internet immediately after just to regale us of his escapade. Yes, I remember the Zach of olden days past. But those days are long dead and gone.

Now all that remains... is the rap star everyone knows as "VETERAN WHITIE"

Veteran Whitie Reprezentin' Yo!

"Education and the lies within"

"Education and the lies within"

I would agree. I have read study after study that indicates changing
the motivational factors behind learning tend to lead to an overall
increase in learning. But then again, nobody actually pays attention
to that, thinking that it's better if we increase the number of tests
in our school systems... and to stress the ever-consuming importance
of the great and powerful test.

It's saddening, and sickening.

And it's completely overrated. I work with doctors now in a hospital
and I constantly see them referring to manuals, dictionaries,
guidebooks, encyclopedias, journals, the internet... etc. etc. etc...

Nobody ever expects them to remember every thing they were ever
taught. Yes, yes it is important for them to try and retain as much
as they can, but it isn't against the practice to pick up a manual and
refresh yourself.

And therein lies a tremendous problem... When I was in school, they
always gave you the impression that you had to do good on the tests...
you always studied for the tests... you always worked to get the
highest GPA on the tests... the tests were weighted the heaviest.

Another reason why I hated high school - because I became aware of
this problem early on.

I will admit that sure, if we took the pressure off of tests, some
people would only slack off more... but you know what... you just find
another way to reach them. Or you let them fail. I can't say I
necessarily support that, but at the same time, if someone wants to
continuously take for granted opportunities, then the only way they
are going to realize their mistake is to feel its consequences.

As for those that would benefit... I would say they would learn more.
Tests are supposed to be a way for teachers to gauge how much they
have taught their students... not a way for them to ostrecize the
dumb, pushing them further into the background and making them feel

One reason why I liked college so much was that the concepts of tests
was different. It wasn't tremendously different, but there were
definitely differing concepts and levels of importance were more
appropriate. Many of my classes wanted you to focus on a final
project or two... the idea behind that being that all of the knowledge
you will acquire will more than likely be used at one point for
something big in your life. But they didn't limit you to only the
things you could remember. You had free access to everything that
could help you along. All you had to do was put the time and effort
into deciphering the knowledge and making it work.

I look forward to graduate school because tests start to fade more and
more away... and in it's place are thesis projects and dissertations.
Yeah, they may be more expansive... but that's when you really learn
to think and not just regurgitate some knowledge.

I think high school seriously needs reform. (Especially Bethel). I
came away from it with good friendships and bonds... but if I hadn't
taken it upon myself to pretty much systematically ignore the basic
doctrines of that school, I would probably be at "Jack in the Box"
right now seeking a career. (Just as a note, I don't look down on
people who work there or anywhere else when they are using it as a
stepping stone toward a greater potential). Not everyone can
automatically do that... I was probably only able to do it because I
was an often dissatisfied-with-my-current-situation type of person.

High school sucked for me because I made it suck. I slacked off, played games instead of studying for a test, read philosophy in class, hated the teachers because they could not answer questions, and the lovely times of having people threaten to kick my ass for some menial offense. It sure was a terrible time: having a girlfriend play the "oh gee, I'm pregnant" game with me. Slowly though, after dropping out and working at CBC with James, I decided to get out and not stay stagnant in such a place. I'll be back in a year and a half by the way [if all goes accordingly], so get the booze ready for my return--speaking of which, I turn 21 next month.

I'd have to agree with you there Bradbury. I see a lot of people come into work with the most vacant expressions--probably from a most recent drug or alcohol binger--who are going to one of the most expensive schools in the nation. I also go to class with a lot of people who don't give a shit about the education they're receiving; even though it is just a community college--education nonetheless.

America just approaches higher education in such a way that it diverts attention away from the actual "education" aspect and directs it to the post education: the higher paying job than the average joe. Everyday, as I walk through my school, I am confronted with the "Career Center will get you where you want to be" bullshit, and also, majoring in Philosophy always gets me "So instead of asking 'would you fries with that?' You'll be asking 'should you get fries with that?'" People ask me what I'm going to do with the major and I say, "Anything I want." I'm not going to get a college education to get a better job--the most superficial way of looking at education. I'm in college to learn, not to get a job. I know eventually when I graduate I'll be working as a professor; so after paying over 100k on school, lets think of how fun it's going to be to pay that back with a menial 27k [at most] a year salary as a college or high school professor to start. So, actually, I'm in college also to avoid the impending doom that this nation has put over my head due to the deficit, the money going to the war instead of going to education, and the overall unsupported education system.

I personally think that if we take the focus off a career from the beginning--when they drill it to us in elementary to the later years of high school when they want you to choose what you want to be--and put it into actually learning and making something better of yourself and getting to know the world we live in, I'm sure the turn over rate for college drop outs and unappreciative college students will be dramatic.

August 04, 2004

High School.

It was fun. I did a lot of crazy shit, things you're never supposed to get away with.

Then again, it sucked, for the reasons jEFF mentioned: The fact that the entire primary and secondary education system in this country is only working to further the bullshit sociopolitical situation it has helped create. It squashes true creativity in an attempt to make life easier for the drastically underpaid minions we refer to as "educators." Creativity on the part of students and teachers, that is.

Not to mention the painfully backward caste structure where athletically talented douchebags get lifted up and presented as gods because they can lift heavy objects or run faster than others. Anybody that attempts to be an individual is automatically branded as an outcast, unless of course they join the football team, where they are lauded as a stunning example of a truly great person.


Forget that. Move on, and join the real world. Things change drastically once you're faced with the fact that your ability to smack the shit out of a leather covered ball isn't likely going to put food on the table or a roof over your head.

Of course, some (many) of these same dimwits go to college on someone else's dime (most likely taxpayers like me) and don't grow out of the high school mindset for another four (or more) years.

It's sad, really, how many people peak in high school. The world has so much more to offer. Then again, someone has to work at Les Schwab changing fucking tires. It sure as hell isn't going to be me. The sad thing is: the people who should be working menial jobs are now getting a ride into college because of the flawed educational system. These assholes are getting degrees in god knows what (they don't) and are now running the fucking world, still holding on to the powerlust and greed they gained as teenagers.

For me, high school was just the start. I didn't know it then, and have no clue now where it is I'm going - but I'm damn sure that high school wasn't the apex.

The fact that I'm sitting where I am writing this is proof enough of that. The people that are here with me right now (Pino Signoretto! - still can't believe that shit) are certainly helping me along in my journey. Seeing that it continues, actually. Where it ends - and what lies along the path - don't really matter right now.

Hmmm, maybe I've been up here too long....

"Beyond Bethel"

"Beyond Bethel"

For me... I wouldn't say that life at Bethel, or during that general
chunk of time, was the best time of my life... not to say that it was
insignificant, because it wasn't...

But that's where I will draw the line.

The reason I don't consider school, high school, to be the best time
in my life is because it really wasn't. It sucked. I was surrounded
by assholes in my grade and subsequent grades. I was in an
institution that worked it's ass off to crush creativity and promote
conventionalism and worked it's best (though definitely not to par
with other schools) to churn out the prototype lawyers and doctors and
teachers that would further the current standard.

And I hated it because it seemed like everyone played along.

Well, except for you people... which is what makes that time in my
life as significant.

No... at least for me, the best time in my life (so far) has been
college. I would gladly go over and over to college... though I would
want to see what graduate school is like before I completely commit to
that claim. (I've heard glorious tales of graduate school that make
undergrad seem... trite.)

I honestly feel that for the most part, those who claim that high
school was the best time of their lives tended to be the preps and
jocks... the ones who ended up working at the Burger King down the
street years later (or if you were a girl-prep then the ones who ended
up working at Fox's year's later). Getting stuck in that "high school
was the best time in my life" mentality will inevitably only slow a
person down and make them long for something that really wasn't all
that great in the first place.

If I had to choose between having the climax of my life at sixteen to
eighteen, as opposed to later (where I would have more opportunity to
really enjoy it/exploit it), I would choose later.

The only other reason people think high school was the best time in
their lives was because it worked to create and churn out
friendships... but if one really wanted, they could take that upon
themselves. That's why, after all, we have such things as poker
nights, Jimmy day's, Zach-o days, and BBQ's at James'.

When I said that I longed for some of the old days, I was more trying
to convey that I think that's what people do no matter what they have
now. I think there is a sort of appeal to having nostalgia about the
past. I know that in some way, in the future I will look fondly at
now, no matter how much it sucks.

This is probably why stories of time travel and altering the past
still appeal to many, if not all at least once in their lives.

I lost my train of thought... so in the end... Mary Kay Letourneau was
released today... Mommas lock up yer little boys!
I've talked about these same things for years. I've always longed for the past. Andy knows this as much as anybody, about me.

Though, I think this is just a general psychological thing, for most. High school is commonly regarded as the best time of one's life, whether they choose to admit it or not (generally due to a resentment of the fact, or running from immaturity, etc)

High school: It's the last chance of your life to really have almost no responsibility. It's where you meet many life-long best friends. Social groups are made, broken, and altered. Most everybody has a social life, even jOe's, to an extent. The year or two immediately following, people are still closely knit. Celebrating being in the real world, having fun without school, looking to the future. all just kind of dwindles away. People join the airforce, go to college and get careers, others blunder about life trying to figure out what the hell they're doing...some get married, where still others never get out of their high school mentality, throw their friends out the window...and spend the rest of their lives trying to rebuild what they once had, only to find out it's much more difficult without a school environment.
This is life.
And this is why, since the day I turned 18, I began to have an utter dread for the future.
Though it's quite possibly that dread that causes me to be one of the ones bumbling around.

August 03, 2004

Dude i know exactly what your talking about, perhaps its one of those situations like where the cheetah just keeps walking around aimlessly and all the gazelle just have to poke there heads out. Or maybe this post here will just serve to strike up everyone on the subject of.....just what the hell is napster talking about?
But yah, the past....i keep thinking about it alot, for some reason every time i keep think of Jeff (Mr. Paulino) i always seem to recall the other jeff (Mr. R) speaking of whoring out Paulino's sister. But wow, i keep looking fondly back...remembering those times where i was the guy who sat quietly off to the side in Devlins class after school just taking in everything as Drew and jesse and Collins and good ol penis head ( now theres something from the least my oldschool), listening to some techno with Robert track in particular i remember sounding alot like the soundtrack from Streets of Rage 2.
Jeff trust me, if you think the video store is home to the pinnacle of assinine people, try stepping out onto a golf course or gun the year+ that ive worked at these places ive discovered that there are so many variations of Yuppie and Redneck that its almost sick...wait it is sick.
Must come up with list to rival Paulinos.....not much of a mission statement but it will have to do.

"The More I Post"

"The More I Post"

I've noticed a disturbing trend with this board and myself...

the more I post... the less others seem to...

Maybe that's just me... but it does kind of seem like it.

Then again, my posts haven't really had my trademark style... namely
making fun of Mr. Collins through a series of elaborate photo-posts.
That I apologize for... since I really haven't had the tools for that.

I also don't have the pictures capable of doing that right now... I
really need to head down there and see all of you fools again and take
pictures again.

I remember when I had the reputation for being the "archiver" of such things.

Then again, there are lots of things I remember that are no longer the case.

I wonder, at times, who else thinks of the past as much as I do. I
think it's one of my chronic conditions... I think of the past a lot.
I don't necessarily live in the past, or try to... but I do look upon
it longingly (there really is no reason for that either, as the past
sucked just as much as the past before that and I would look to that
past longingly as well... and I know that this NOW will be looked upon
somewhat longingly even though it's not particularly grand either).

I wonder if that means that I would choose to live in the past. I
don't think so though. That's what Andy does... or seems to. (Sorry
Andy, but it sort seems like that.) Then again, I think James sorta
does too (Sorry Collins). I mean they both still hate each other even
though it's been what... two years.

I guess that doesn't really say anything by itself. After all, I
still dislike David Sanders... (though honestly I think that's more
symbolic of something else).

What does say something is the constant barrage of text messages I get
from Mr. Collins quoting one or another of Andy's rather depressing or
seemingly self-loathing or emotional-longing away messages... and
sometimes in the middle of the night.

So maybe I'm not alone in this whole "looking favorably to the
past"... and maybe Mr. Collins and Mr. Wegener are more trapped in it
than they realize, or would care to admit. Maybe it's just true of
Mr. Collins, since I wonder how much time and energy Mr. Wegener puts
into keeping track of Mr. Collins' away messages... just as a thought.

Maybe I, Robot 2: Return to the Industrial Revolution, will be a
dramatic masterpiece.

I lost my sequence of thoughts a long, long time ago.

August 02, 2004

The Old Shirtless Man

"Meaningless Work"

Working at Hollywood Video... you tend to meet all sorts of people.
Some are rather cool, and you don't mind helping them, talking to
them... whatnot. Some are just there, and they come in, grab their
copy of "Paycheck" and walk out the door.

And then there are those groups of people that suck on so many levels
it makes you question why God decided he wanted to fill the people
with humans and not duck-billed platypi.

I would have preferred the duck-billed platypi myself.

Group 1: The "You Got Served" Crowd
These are those people who purposely rent the shittiest movies
around... purposely. They must know the are going to be bad, and yet
they rent them anyway... Now, I'm not trying to sound elitest when I
say this... these are simply those movies that EVERYBODY just
instinctively knows are not going to be good. We all have that
instinct... it's like our Spider-sense for movies. A little tingling
in the back of our collective heads that says, "This movie is going to
be the shittiest movie in existence... turn back now!". We all get
that with movies like 'The Core', 'MI:2', '2 Fast 2 Furious', and 'You
Got Served' (as well as it's sequel: 'You Got Served: Takin' It To The

Yet, these people have some genetic flaw in them that makes them push
past instinct to watch them. It would be one thing if they were
writing a report on shitty movies... or perhaps watching it, fully
knowing it will suck but wanting a cheap laugh anyway. No... there
are these people that watch 'You Got Served', and actually enjoying it
for its merit... as if it had merit.

Group 2: The Bitchy Wives Club
Ahh, these are a particular favorite of mine. These women come in,
and automatically you can tell they are not going to be pleasant
people to deal with. They have that 'fat-woman's scowl' printed
across their face that says, "Give me my popcorn and my Junior Mints
and movie and get the hell out of my way or I'll eat you!". They get
pissed whenever they can't find their movie, and even more pissed when
you help them find it because the fat on their face has obscurred the
viewing capabilities of their eyes. They are angry at the world
because they were once the hot cheerleaders who got saddled with kids
after doing the football team and they aren't pretty anymore. Instead
they've got kids running around the store pulling videos off the
shelves and sticking God-knows-what in their mouths, while asking to
get the latest copy of 'Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen'.

Group 3: The Frat-Guys Squad
Honestly, I don't have as much a problem with these guys as I do with
the other groups here... yeah they are annoying as fuck, and yeah they
don't like paying their late fees, but at least they tend to go about
it in a different manner. They tend to try and talk their way out of
anything, and for a moment it is fairly humorous, until you start to
smell a burning odor, and you realize that they are using all of their
reserve intellect to try to get out of a 3.79 late fee.

It's even worse for the female employees as they have to sit there and
listen to these guys try to flirt their way from a hundred dollar late
fee to a three dollar one.

Group 4: Old People With Checks
This group is by far one of the most tedious. Now, not all of them
use Checks still, but it kind of puts you in the right mindset...
which is anyone over the age of 45-50 who thinks that because they are
old, they are automatically right and don't have to be humble and can
demand that you do anything they want for them because they are old
and fought in the Great War... and wrote Checks for all their ammo
they bought.

I don't mind Old People. Some are funny, and have awesome stories...
but some... Ohhh some of them need to just skip the last few remaining
years of their life if they are going to make us all want to skip the
remaining years of our own.

Group 5: The Conglomerates
Finally you have those people that don't fit nicely into one group or
another, but instead decide to be multi-grouped pisser-offers. I'm
talking about the Old Gay Man Who Ruins Your Movie type. Or the
Bitchy Old Wife of an Ex-Frat Guy. Old the Stinky Possibly Homeless
Old Man Who Flirts With Thirteen Year Olds.

I can't stand them. I despise them. First for being pieces of crap.
Second for not fitting into the pre-designed categories I have made,
making me have to define a new category for them. Who do they think
they are? Listen to me Gay Man Who Ruins My Movies... if you ever
ruin another movie for me, I'll hijack you and drop you in the middle
of Redneck country... I'd like to see you rent a movie about young gay
boys out there in Greenville, Mississippi. I'm sure Richard M. Bergis
would help you out.

I don't mind gay people. Some of them are cool and funny, and not
just the lesbians. What I don't like is people ruining my movie,
hanging out around the store when we are trying to close and I want to
go home, and then acting offended when we want them to leave because
of our need for sleep.

Where was it written that simple part-time jobs like Hollywood Video
and Target had to have really shitty customers? Where? Why can't
they all be cool people?