August 31, 2001

When is a Bradbury free to look at it?

Do you not remember our class? I can't even think of which idiot you're talking about!
Are you
kissing my ass?

What kind of car?
(most anything from the 50's and 60's is cool, by the way)
Where did you see it? If you saw it, chances are myself or someone I know did too....
I would be happy to take a look at it, considering how fine a job you did teaching me first aid, even in the company of the idiot the two of us had to work with the whole time....I won't mention his name....

And now for something completely different....

Jesse I'm going to update the firmware on my router sometime tonight, it may be down for a while...possibly for some time.
My cable modem, the actual cause of any problem that occurs:
Was made by 3Com (strike 1)
Is End of Life (strike 2)
Has no provisions to upgrade firmware, or even any revision history on same (strike 3)
And lastly: is entirely unsupported by the manufacturer. (I hate 3Com)
Unsupported to the point of not even being listed under their products. The version with USB is listed (but still not supported).

I may be switching to DSL in the near future, and going to all Allied Telesyn products. (if their stuff messes up, I can call their North American cheif of production and get it fixed) We use all ATI products in the district now, and even though we have had a few bugs, they still are very good to us.



I think Bradbury is wonderful. He was such an excellent first aid-er, as well as a wonderful computer boy. He's so nice. and I hear he knows about cars, too. I wonder if Bradbury would be so nice as to tell me if the car I want is a good car. It's very pretty, but it's from the 50s or 60s or something, so I probably need someone to look at it before I commit to buying it. Did I mention how wonderful Bradbury is?
Wish I could take credit for this, but it's from
News item: The last week of original episodes of Mister Rogers’
Neighborhood will air in August 2001.
Fred Rogers enters his "house" through the front door.
He sings "Won’t You Be My Neighbor," eyes misting.
He takes off his "work clothes" and puts on a sweater (smart
money says it will be red).
The universe begins to contract in a reverse Big Bang.
Fred zips up the sweater, takes off his dress shoes and
replaces them with sneakers.
Distant galaxies explode.
Fred feeds his fish.
Fred pastes pictures in a Final Episode scrapbook.
He sings a song called "Final Episode Scrapbook," the tears
flowing freely now.
The outer edges of our solar system are obliterated—first
Pluto, then Neptune, then Uranus.
Accompanied by incidental piano music, Fred cuts out little
construction paper stars.
Oceans boil. Volcanic infernos rage.
Fred sings "It’s Such a Good Feeling."
He is thrown to the floor by an earthquake.
The fish tank shatters. That weird stoplight shatters. Picture
Picture cracks and emits a human scream.
In the Neighborhood of Make Believe, frenzied mobs storm
the castle. Chanting gibberish political slogans, they rip King
Friday’s head from his body, realizing for the first time that
the monarchy is a puppet regime.
Fred’s mind begins to expand, opening new doors to
He suddenly finds himself in Korea, in an Army helicopter,
looking down at Mr. McFeely who has spelled "Goodbye" on
the dirt with hand puppets.
Fred joins in a group hug in the WJM newsroom with Mary
and Lou Grant and Handyman Negri.
Fred wakes up in bed next to Suzanne Pleshette and Purple
Fred falls out of bed to the floor, holding his throbbing head.
He becomes aware of his entry into other realities—television
realities that are not realities at all. He understands the great
truths of existence and becomes jolted by visions of stellar
destruction, the eradication of all life in all neighborhoods. He
struggles to his feet, staggered by the discovery that he is
the center of existence, a conduit of infinite energy, the
stabilizing force in space, matter, and time.
He wills himself back to the Neighborhood of Make Believe. All
is ashes. Blood pouring from her ears, Lady Elaine pleads for
the release of death. Daniel Striped Tiger gnaws on Bob
Trow’s foot.
Fred waves his hand and the entire universe is restored. He
announces that he is never leaving the neighborhood. He
promises that everyone is special and that he’ll always be our
Everything will be all right forever.

doh. i think i'll have a beer.
ray. the guy who gives me beer.
me. the guy who drinks the beer
far a long long way to beer.
so i think i'll have a beer.
la la la la la beer.
tea. no thanks i'll have a beer.
that brings me back to beer!

Due to increasing product liability litigation, American Beer brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN!!!
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

notice as well :

we havent been getting posts from Jimmoi or Jeff.

Well / Jimmoi has no rational excuse / so today in the 5min I see him before I leave work I will yell at him and tell him to post a big long uber post to make up for his absense. or well, tomorrow / because he'll have no choice or excuse for " I ran out of internet "

as for Jeff / well you see I showed up at his house unexpected one day / we ( him and me and andy ) were going to go out and have a good night on the town. So guess what. He isnt home... where could jeff be? Off at his bloody girlfriend's house because something about someone dying again. No offence, but just when things seems to be going to have fun with him included / God seems to take it upon himself to have someone around her die off to yank him out of my social circle. whurgh. The bonus, however, is that he's left alone with a young woman in her own household with no parents for what ... two weeks? maybe more?



as for the rest of you slack-jawed losers,

well... actually ... mike, jesse, kimberly, goldfeish and bradbury have become major sources of entertainment. hee hee.

keep up the good work!
Finished Dune - a book which takes ecology, planetology, sociology, politics, morality, ethics, suspense, drama, and science fiction and throws them all into one big universe of a fantasy land. Fantasy writers eat your heart out / not once did he use something like " The firey breath of the dragon leapt out from the cave to remind the dwarf that deep within himself there lay a dragon as well. "

what the fuck.

I damn well hate D&D fantasy novels.
stupid things.

in any event.
more things.
My birthday makes it way to my doorstep on Sept. 4th
well it recently hit me that I have sunday and monday off.

so this is my invitation to anyone on the board to my house / sunday / from noon to around five - o - clock / a mini BBQ of sorts / you can show up anytime from whence I've stated / if you need directions just go and email me / if you want to eat something ( anything ) you have to bring something ( anything ) for others to eat as well. I dont know if I will be the Barbeque-er. Merely because last time all I did was cook. Oh. It's more of a " Im 20 and have a day off from work " celebration than some bullshit whatever-holiday about what " labour day " is suppose to be about. Unless labour day is a holiday about having a day off from work. then I'm fux0red.

If you notice / Im not putting much thought into this / if you dont show up / dont worry / I dont mind. And I'm not forcing any *birthday present* shit onto anyone / but if you feel like throwing something of some monetary value at me for not dying off in twenty years thus so far - I'd accept it with a warm smile and a thank you. . . Dont expect any god-damned singing however.

again / I had a really good post / but forgot what it was.

ok, I officially hate someone. I MEAN HATE SOMEONE.

Tom Fitzpatrick. He first pissed me off really bad yesterday, when he tossed a container of soda at my car as we were driving down the street. That didn't piss me off as much as to waking up this morning to knowing that he wrapped my car in packaing wrap last night. I know it was him by his signature mark that he has actually left on my front door, the orange cone. So I take today off, so make so I don't beat the fuck out of him at work. You know, the bottom part of a 168 PIN DIMM chip is very sharp and can do damage hen you saw it against someones flesh, preferably the neck.

Death by RAM...that'll work...

- Jesse
"While you make, pretty speeches. I'm being cut to shreads. You feed me to the lions, a delecate balance. And this just feel like, spinning plates. I'm living in cloud cookoo laaaand. And this just feels like, spinning plates. My bodies floating down, the muddy river...." - Radiohead: Like Spinning Plates
it can get pretty lonely being the guy that lives on the other side of the country than the rest of the board

August 30, 2001

The most overused phrase in my lifetime directed at me is “Don’t think so much about the future, focus more on the present”. There isn’t, however, any logic in “focusing on the present”. Action is always directed toward the future; it is essentially and necessarily always a planning and acting for a better future. Its aim is always to render future conditions more satisfactory than they would be without the interference of action. The uneasiness that impels a man to act is caused by a dissatisfaction with expected future conditions as they would probably develop if nothing were done to alter them. In any case action can influence only the future, never the present that with every infinitesimal fraction of a second sinks down into the past. Man becomes conscious of time when he plans to convert a less satisfactory present state into a more satisfactory future state. The present is, from these aspects, nothing but an ideal boundary line separating the past from the future. I can understand the statement, being an over-analyzer, but it seems impossible to be anything but a tad over-zealous about the future. Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it and those who live in the present are stuck in the past. Worrying, however, never did anyone any good.
Dev I agree-the kind of stupid crap I could get away with in high school I now find myself unable to do so.....but now that I have a job and bills I also find myself less likely to try-all my other friends from school thought I was turning lame---until they started working 40+ hours a week. Now we just sit around and watch TV whenever we do anything. Mostly everyone is busy. Strange.


How about next Saturday, the 8th?
I think maybe I can get some people-three or four possibly.
We’ll see.


Dev you cant forget Ted Kennedy who is slowing dying because of his highly diseased and poisoned Liver
Well i found a bit of free time so im over at my grandmas posting, funzo
I passed my drivers education with an 85, i suck at parallel parking and backing up whoopty fucking doo
yay i guess now ive got to go out and get 50 hours drive time take another test, and wait 6 months
theres beauracrary for you, neat law that we seemed to have voted for.
Feeling sick? Time to see D.R.Lightwater
D.R. Lightwater make sad people blind, he make them grind and sweat in hot, slippery motions. Make them wriggle in stupid, happy jestures and rosewater breath that stinks like ichy flesh all covered in a melting substance. "Here, these will make you better." He holds out pills all purple yellow filled and made with exotic nightmare ponies, tiny colored whirlpools, mad faces and oozing, odd looking, everydayness.. To make sad people blind with. Take them, wake up. Tomorrow, Yesterday, This evening, I'm feeling sick, time to see D.R. Lightwater
Sadness is a burlap ovary that ovulates daily and is fertilized by passing strangers. Their faces, like amphibians, all cold and mucose covered, looking at you oddly with unseeing fishscale eyes, make you shiver dreary eyed and helpless. Felling sick ? See D.R. Lightwater

HE take the pill, sit, and write all woozy " Existence is what I am talking about.. Quite an unexpected situation. I mean the nowness of what is as we see it. By see I mean more than what vision aprehends, but also, the perception derived from it. As I stare into my coffee cup, I do not see a brown fluid all homogeniously mixed with little particles, but rather, I percieve what I see to be thus."... He is lost, like in a rainy afternoon when things are silent but for drippy silly rain, and sitting with some colored grimace, your flesh crawls and excretes a little extatic soul jism.. I see an exotic nightmare pony .. It make sad people blind with ...

Write " We see the nowness of what is in our preception of arrangements of what is, as we see it. And this is what I mean by existence, the being present for the presenting of the nowness of what is." D.R. Lightwater is tickled purple.. He reaches down and grabs a puppy, all stupid happy with rosewater breath that stink like ichy flesh covered in a melting substance.. We all love D.R.Lightwater.. even as he cuts the bowls out and ties a knot to hang the puppy by a hook.. hanging from it's bowls dripping with some oozy mucose.. looked at by strangers with amphibian faces..My sadness clenches, turns and writhes and whimpers like a sleeping dog... It ovulates and is fertelized by strangers.. I gestate boredome in the hard parts of my burlap ovary..
I writing "The being present is to be percieved in the nowness of what is, as we see it, and is indubitably to be brought forth in the presenting of what is. We are at once percieving and being percieved in the presenting of what is. Thus we arrive at our existence as we, ourselves, are now, in the nowness of what is as we see it and laid out before us in the presenting, we find ourselves in being present."
Writing ".. cunfusing purple colors spin around me glazing rooftopes and dirty cellars. Young people make made slimy moans and slide around on one another. Old things age and sick and guffaw like blinded sad people die in stupid pattering raindrops of hormone extacy..
Writing "There laid out before me, in the presencing, is the bare nakedness of what is, coated in the thick beguiling frame of everydayness. The frame that covers with arrangements of ideas.. The frame occupies and replaces what is brought forth in presencing and oe'rlays perception with obligation........"
Time to see D.R.Lightwater...............................
Wow, nobody is posting anymore. So, I am prompted to post. Bonnie you are like the Kennedys with the exception that the Kennedys die quickly - BANG! they are dead. Joe Kennedy Jr. shot down in battle, John Kennedy shot dead during parade, Robert Kennedy shot dead in hotel kitchen, John Kennedy Jr. plane crash - dead on impact. I hope this post finds your sister feeling better.

Man, I am so excited for school to start. I think that is because I get to boss people around and I have not been able to do that all summer. My cats don't take orders well. The dog is okay at directions but it is not the same.

I completely understand why people say high school is the best time of your life - no mortgage, no significant bills, you can do really stupid things and blame them on youth, everyday you get to go to a place where your friends are and hang out and do virually no work to get a diploma. Sure, there are drawbacks like parents and no money and having Mark Waterbly announce to the entire cafeteria that you are the ugliest girl in school - oops, I digress - but life gets more difficult as you get older.

Don't get me wrong. It is good being old too, except the whole being old thing. Being an adult has a lot of freedoms. People always look at the past and think of the good old days. But with age comes wisdom and perspective. It is all relative.
i'm not dead. not that anyone know me anyhoo.
Well I did survive the ride home, after I left the bar last night.

No promises about the trip in this morning.

August 29, 2001

Anyway, school starts in a week - a day. Yay, this is going to suck. I'm thinking about going to Maine for a while soon. The weather here is horrible, and I want to visit someone. Video editing seems to be my constant now, I do it for work now, at home, and at school soon. People, have died around here. Don't worry, I know what happened:
Mike - killed himself
James - killed himself
Jeff - as well
Drew - is.....shit......oh well, Drew killed himself as well
Bradbury is still alive, I saw him today....but i don't know what happened on his ride home... still alive, but in California just because
Aaron - is in a corner somewhere
and everyone DEAD!

maybe I'm wrong, most likely. but thats my guess. GO GO GO!
::listens to Brilliant 2K from DDR USA Mix::
- Jesse
I have to get up soon to go to golf. Practice starts at 7 a.m. and ends when it ends. If you ask me it's retarded, but fun. I'm posting because there are no posts, really. It's going very slow. My sister is in the hospital right now for something. My family has the worst luck...I swear, we're like the Kennedys'. All of my great aunts and my grandma have had cancer (usually of the breast), my dog is dying and I have to get it put to sleep this winter, my uncle is dying from some rare disease and my parents won't let me visit him, my mother has m.s, and tonight my lovely sister got put in the hospital. I really don't understand...there are other things dealing with my dad and my brother being sick and crap like that. Am I immuned? I doubt it. What a rambling post I have created.

August 28, 2001

a day in the life of the goldfish:

7:00 AM - 8:00 AM : wake up. depending on which day. on every other friday wake up at 10:45 AM
8:00 AM - 1:00 PM : generally go to class. none are earlier than 8:00 AM and none are later than 12:40 PM
1:00 PM - 12:00 AM : sit in dorm. generally in front of computer.
12:00 AM - 7:00 AM : sleep

then begins the cycle all over again.


in high school they told you that those were the best years of your life. we laughed.

now they're saying college will be the best years of your life. i laugh.

i'm supposed to get a job but i don't have the motivation.

i'm starting to feel really apathetic since i started college. i think there's a direct correlation.

DVD players are fun. they don't play burnt CDs. boo@that. braveheart on DVD. yes. crouching tiger hidden dragon on DVD. oh yes. fight club on DVD. indeed. especially since you can pause right on those parts when tyler durden pops up before edward norton meets him. fun

I might buy a DVD player.
go figure.

and wow. posting has reached an all-time low.
again . . .

August 27, 2001

News for all you Cartoon Network Toonami block watchers! ::looks at Napster::
If you've been with the scene, Toonami, on Sept. 2nd at midnight, will start showing Cowboy Bebop. It's on the Adult Swim, so you wouldn't expect anything to be edited right? WRONG! They are showing the episodes that they showed in Japan, 1 - 13, edited for violence. They cut the series short because of it too. Have FUN!!!! If you want to see the rest, you'll have to buy them. 1-26 are released on DVD or VHS (beware of this poor ad from Bandai Entertainment)
James...I'm making a video I know you'll love. It's using the character Knives from a punk cover of Creep by Radiohead. He screams "IM A CREEEEEEP IM A WEIRDOOOOO" Like a little whiny baby, it's hilarious...just wait for it, in a couple days it'll be out.

Diva Valentine Here you go James, Here's the Bebop vid. You'll need DIVX ;-) 3.11
Bradbury, I don't mean to post it on the board, but I need the IP. It seems to have changed again.

- Jesse
Im reading Dune.
one hell of a way to start a book.
I had a really good post before I left to go get a bank account . . .
well ...

I forgot the post.
I felt bad for not posting for a really long time. I don't know why because it doesn't really have an effect on anyone. Anyway, posting has been mighty slow lately. My life has been rather slow lately...I'm really bored all the time. I need to go back to school or find something productive to do with my time. I think that I'll go find something productive to do right now since it hurts to type. I cut myself all the way across my palm. I'm so talented.

August 26, 2001

"Ok now that we have the motor, we'd better concentrate on brakes, or we'll spend a lot more time and money replacing front bumpers and hoods" - Unknown.
Band names I am considering:

With Reason and Aural Sect. Any other suggestions?

Also, you guys know the song Cult of Personality by Living Colour? My stepbrother and I are working on a cover, but we're afraid not enought people will recognize it.
Allright people from this moment forward 2 weeks and counting
Well for me the summer is over. In three hours im going to loose contact with my major source of communication with you guys. I wont be able to use ol bessie again for two weeks, but theres always the possibility of sporadic moments and memorable blogs from other terminals and ports of call. Im going back to my dads. Ive avoided him for the good part of the summer, while it made me feel good i hope that he wont be pissed at me. Back to the house with a single tv that plays only sports and Andy Griffith reruns. I prefer Gomer Pyle myself. And it sucks cause im not supposed to watch tv unless hes home. Like im gonna adhere to that one. His dad did the same thing to his mom, it was pathetic, him coming home and checking the heat of the tv ( goes to get ramen). But what can you do, nothing at all i guess. I have to go through life knowing that im better than him but without him acknowledging it, but perhaps hes doing the same thing. Well i wanted to make this an Uber Post, one last shebang before times up, but it looks like this is going to be nothing more than a ramble. But im hoping thats what the blogger gods like that sort of thing and it will bring attention to this board, cause thats what it needs. Its been slow lately with people attending there affairs and such. This summer i worked a bit on my writing and such, but not enough to satisfy my ambitions. Chalk up a point for writers block, or just plain laziness (or are they the same thing). I went to see a movie last week with my friend Karl (yes the one you dont think to highly of James) and we were waiting in Barnes and Nobles for my mom to come pick us up and i sat down and started to read Aristotles Metaphysics, Good stuff my brain almost hit overload. That hasnt happened for awhile, same when i was perusing through a few pages of text from C.S Elliots Biography, ive definately gotta read that book when my moms through with it. Hmm what would be more material for me to post. Im dreading going back to roy but for some reason my outward appearence is one of Euphoria. Chatting with people who are my friends seems to do that to me (you know who you are). Im debating weather or not to tote my briefcase around again this year, i probably will end up carrying it around but for the first part of the year ill use a back pack, get used to everyone again. Break the teachers into my weird side slowly. If i showed up the first day the shock would probably cause a massive PTA downfall, the school system would come crashing down. Maybe i should modify it and pack it into school like Kampa and Keeno from Desparado (Jesse you know what im talking about) hehehehe. Come in like Samurai strike hard and fast like Ninja master.

Goobyes only pave the way for future meetings
such is life and the nature of friendship
beings such as us thrive on solidarity yet need contact
that feeling that someone knows them, understands them, and can tell them when things are wrong
beauty of the tree as opposed to that of the weed, would not a tree be a weed were it in the wrong place
this is not forever, this is only the beginning and not the end
Goodbyes only pave the way for future meetings

ps......this is what a part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were missing
"Cornbread-Ain't nothing wrong with that."-Chris Rock
Nice quotes though.
Damn you, Napster.
I was going for first.
"its times like these that i realize just how much Jefferson Airplane kick ass"-Napster
"Stop touching yourself, it'll only make you sleepy"-Dave Atell
"Many who act as one are called Revolutionary, One who acts as many is called schitzophrenic"-Napster

August 25, 2001

Wow......another weekend blown by working and getting things accomplished.....this must be maturity or something.

Well, maybe maturity is a bit harsh.

Anyone want to see the {road} car that scored the best of all time in crash tests?


Don't you just love it?
The Renault Lagunda.
There's a sport version.
Whatever that means.....I don't know much German, so the site doesn't come across so well.
And I thought Renault was French.


Good to hear someone else is getting their thing going.
Just starting to get the motorsports thing going for myself.
It's not easy, similar to getting a career in can spend a long time at the amateur level, doing local stuff, never really making it anywhere. In both industries, it really takes either amazing skill, luck or the ability to kiss sponsor ass to get anywhere.
Interesting, isn't it?

urgh counts.
It says more than enough.
Now, ugh is another thing, but urgh is acceptable.




No, no I don't think so. "urgh" does not count as a real post on any kind of post counter type thing. No matter how heartfelt and full of 'feelings' it may be, it just doesn't work.

White Russian = good drink!
I keep reading the damn board, but never posting. At least not for the last week or so. It seems that Mike, Jeff, and Jimmy have not posted recently either however. I went to the library today, good stuff, started listening to The Alan Parson's Project.

Speaking of Music, my stepbrother and I are finally getting around to getting this band thingy on the road. Unfortunately we are short a few musicians and some instruments, but that can be solved. We have a few songs written with vocals and guitar. Hopefully Anthony will be alright with singing, but if any of you know a good drummer or pianist who isn't a complete idiot, it would help a lot. I'm hard at work building a PVC instrument, because I did some research on building them, and I found out that there's a lot more that can be done with them than The Blue Man Group does. Considering they only use seven notes in three different octaves...

Today I started reading books on the moral consciousness of the world. Good reading for stimulating the brain. Good job learning to swim Heather, I think that's all I've got for now. Goodbye all...

Theres a little look into my life, grand isnt it though at the moment its a bit cleaner but not much

Doesnt that just look Delish, yum yummy
Raoul- I think I feel asleep in my clothes last night around 1:45 AM after watching Fight Club again and working on a video. I woke up at 9, but let myself doze off repeatedly til about 11
Not Mud- That urgh was beautiful.
well ive got to say that for the first time i slept well, very well in fact. Though when i woke up it was excruciatingly hot, the sun was coming in through my windows and hitting me square in the face, i woke up and it was like a sauna
I will not be deprived of first post, VICTORY IS MINE

August 24, 2001

Ive finally gotten acustomed to driving, its a great feeling. Just tooling down 6th ave in tacoma at 8:30pm with the windows down and some Slipknot blaring, the only decent song Wait and Bleed, its got some undertones that ive really only realized in the past year. im not for their image at all and i am not blind to them being unimaginative, i just like two of their songs. Ya, anyways i cant wait until my 6 months and 50 hours is up, driving around with my mom can get agitating and my dad is just an asshole, he stares ahead blankly, and meets any attempt at convorsation with the comment "there gonna throw the book at you andrew, this is why they made that law". Im just glad that ive only got two or more years left, hopefully no longer than 3 or 4 (fingers are crossed) but then theres gonna be that whole ordeal with college and him hanging that over my head, damn cant i rid my self of that bastard.
Oh one more thing, Bradbury did your friend ever get his ditch dug? sorry i didnt get ahold of you sooner but i was really busy.
ah, today was a good day.

I got up and watched Running Time....this movie is very good, 70 minutes and ONLY 30 CUTS!!!!!!!! This was a movie with Bruce Campbell that no one really knows about. It's the second film in history to use the Continuous Shot technique. The first was Alfred Hitchcock's Rope.

My next film was Fight Club...I have one thing to say about that...."Awesome", but I'm sure you all knew that.

The day went from good to great as it's continued.
I went to Jolenes house and hung out for a while, watched an anime and talked, played DDR. We went to the anime cafe, and fortunately, everyone was there. Sean agreed to play some anime on the big screen so we were happy! The day ended, things were good, said goodbye. Now i'm left with the rest of Fight Club to watch, and tons of videos to make. Talking to my good friend Colleen online, who I can relate to very much. Life is treating me great today.


- Jesse
Ha! I am so very extremely buff! I joined a gym, and best of all. . .

I have {finally} LEARNED HOW TO SWIM{somewhat}!!!!!
I know, you all wish you were as special as me!
im posting.
glorious day.
i would post more frequently but brices computer is a rubbish heap of shitness and slow as fuck.
besides....noone wants to hang out with me anymore anyways so i doubt i am missed that greatly.
so that being said....there is nothing to say really.
i quit target a long ass time ago..and havnt done shit since then, except have a lot of sex.
sex, soda, and rock & roll is about the extent of my summer.
i havnt been at brices(home?) since sunday morning. in the last 10 days ive spent one night there.
i got into debt with the phone bill so i will probably never get a car now.
thats what i get.
i was at a show teh other night and i met this guy names calvin.
he scared me at first cause he was the most gutter of gutter punk.
he is very tall and very um.....large, with a huge mohawk.
but when i got to talking to him he was really cool.
he wound up offering to get me a job at baski robins, which i am going to accept.
some of you laugh.
well just look at my logic.
this is hte perefct winter job. thikn about it.......who the fuck buy s ice cream during the fall and winter?
that means a minimum of contact with assholes.
and its not permanent.
only until i am able to purcase an automobile.
another guy i met at that same show, bill, wants me to play bass for his band.
fun times.

of course pepsi one tastes like crap.
its diet pepsi in a fancy new can.

goodbye people.

Hey goldfish have you tried Morpheus, that seems to have worked for me, since i got it ive been able to add 100 songs/media files to my collection and its more user friendly than say iMesh or that one that runs off the gnuetella network.
i have come to the conclusion that audiogalaxy FUCKING SUCKS. I can't connect to the fucking server. Ever. Well, I did for a few minutes this morning. Long enough to download 4 songs. Woopie. I tried aimster as per the advice of one mud, but it wouldn't work either. So, I gave up on that. I'm about to, against all of my best insticts, try iMesh. The I will retreat to mIRC if that doesn't work.

BTW, a good band to listen to if you're a bit sodded off is Linkin Park. not the greatest music ever, but it's hard, loud and abrasive. i hadn't known about them until a few days ago. thus my discovery was made. anywho, i'm just bored waiting for someone to take me home from this one horse town called morehead in which i am now attending college. what a boring little hellhole. don't go to college. it ain't worth it. get a job. no wait, go to devry and get your 3 year BA and land a 60k/year job in a year and a half. sometimes i wish i had done that. bah. no i don't. computers suck.

and on a final note: fun stickers. cheap too. and if you order a "cops smell funny" sticker and they're out of them, they'll send you a bunch of "fuck work" stickers in compensation. neat-o.

something of note

I have found that when I listen to the radio today ( I also fed 20520 sheets into a machine, by the way ) I was listening to 102.5 / the oldies station. And something I noticed / That in the past / I believe back when my father was ... young and ... bucky ... or something / and my mother had long flowing hair down to her buttocks / and the world was full of hippies and so on / I guess the concept / or " word " LOVE actually meant something / and what did it mean? it meant FUCK ME LIKE A HURRICANE

that is what I have surmised from all the songs they played today.
and I cannot get " I feel like makin love ( da da ) ( choom ) ( da da ) I feel like making love ( da da ) ( choom ) ( da da ) I feel like making love ( da da ) ( choom ) ( da da ) I feel like making loooovvveeeee tooooo yooou. " out of my god-damned head. stupid song. I feel like mak.... I feel like bashing the song into it's non-existant head, thats what.

one more thing / I also came to listening to 98.1 / the classical station.
It almost put me to sleep. and it made my feet hurt. you know why? they werent playing any *upbeat* classical. so I changed the station to 104.9 / they had some ok tunes / then a guy came over and told me that he was actually on it / so we waited for awhile ( a long while ) and the next thing you know " Hey funkymonkey rules because it plays good *bleep* that I can listen to while working, not no lovely dovely bull*bleep* or *bleep* like that." ... I laughed. because it was him. and he was on the radio. and he was standing in front of me. go figure.

I eventually got tired of that and stuck in my beethoven's 9th tape that Jimmoi conviently gave me. ... seems their tape player didnt work. damnit. so back to oldies I went.

I feel like makin love ( da da ) ( choom ) ( da da ) I feel like making love ( da da ) ( choom ) ( da da ) I feel like making love ( da da ) ( choom ) ( da da ) I feel like making loooovvveeeee tooooo yooou.
Veni Veni Veechi
Hahaha Mr Powers i have bested you in this round of this little game of wits that we seem to be partaking in i shall resume my diabolical laughing
I'd like to work for hospital security sometime, really I would. I found myself watching 'Blade' tonight on TNT because I'm bored as hell... As this woopie-im-a-vampire-man escapes from the hospital he's shot at... by a high powered sniper rifle! That, is what I call security. heh.

Pepsi One tastes like crap, no way in hell is its slogan true. "Tastes more like a regular Cola"

Went to the gym today, my usual weekly type thing - greatest thing happened. Two things actually. The exebitionist chick was there again (fun fun), and I watched someone get punched in the face. Coolest thing, even did 'a Rocky' and spit some blood as the punch finished. At least it looked like blood, maybe it was just spit. shrugs

When I'm stressed out I like to shoot my friends with a paintball gun, oh yes. Especially ones on a house that aren't ducking all the way - head shots are great...

staggers off to bed

August 23, 2001

Wow-blogger has been around 2 years now...
How long have we been here?

I do.



if it squeels when you poke it with a red-hot piece of metal shaped like a spear . . . .

well then it probably isn't a rock

I am the queen of the first post.

August 22, 2001

finally, i got connected here at college. ethernet, yay. porn at lightening fast speeds! icq is however taking an eon to download. sum'bitch! i thought that internet would quince my bordem, but i was sadly wrong. college is boring. at least my classes are easy and i don't have to worry about that. in fact my hardest classes are probably painting technique and drawing 1. yesh, well, enough of that. i need to download the sims. computer games have re entered my life in a huge way since i've come to college. in the hours i sit in my dowm room i play gangsters 2 way too much. good game. blah. ah well.

dragon ball is the greatest cartoon ever. master roshi is a huge pervert. hehe. he wants bulma to show him her belly button. hehe. he's a pimp. then after dragon ball is an hour of dragon ball z! YES! and thus is the extent of excitement of college life. if it doesn't get any better than i'm outta here.

well zen. ta ta
the world is a crazy, crazy place.

I wonder why.
So there I was, close to 1am in the morning - no posts were posted - the excitement rose - I crunched my "Honey Nut Corn Flakes" ( damn I love honey ) - everything was... good.

Cereal, music, nice pen to fill out bartending paper work, playboy zippo lighter for my future patrons, fan blowing cool air into my room, laundry finished... and I was first.

Demon eggs come from Wilcox farms... Devil chickens... nods silently to himself

August 21, 2001

When someone is mean or cruel it usually turns out to be that they are in a bad mood about something. To make things worse they get pissed off by the fact that others are happy, so to make themselves feel better they make others feel bad by acting like jerks. Now how do you ask can making one person pissed off brighten someones day? Its not just the thought of one pissed off person, its the thought off all the people they will piss off who will in turn piss off others who will in turn piss off others.....etc etc etc etc
and thats why people are cruel.
Usually I am happy on rainy days because it means that I get to eat soup. YUM! However, today it seems to raining crap on my head - figuritively speaking of course. Why do people feel the urge to make other feel bad? Especially people they don't really know? Why do they go out of their way to say cruel things? Don't they feel bad later? Is it because they are mean? because they are insecure? because no one loves them? because they are stupid? because they are evil? All of this is not to say that I never say mean things but I don't say them Eminem's or Fred Durst's faces.

At least I am getting something from this. I am going to start being more constructive. Try to look at the positives more often. And when someone is going out of their way to be cruel to me, I will yell at them. Yah! That is constructive. Yah!

By the way, those aren't demon eggs; they are lucky.:)
Well today i went to the doctor because ive got small white bumps on the back of my throat. Ive learned that i dont have strep, it appears that i have an infection in the back of my nose that his moved down into my throat and from what the doctor says is moving towards my ears. Great now i can go on living life happy

I use to have a theory about how people strive to forget that one day they will die through the pursuit of hedonistic pleasures / such would be any sexual act or the ideal of materialism.

then fight club came with its :


and again / I was deprived of my own mind.

so I've been trying to think of something else that is as general and infected in western culture that I can bitch about asides from death.

and the only thing I keep getting is death.

that pisses me off.

A grand day, the insurance company runs me all over Ft. Lewis... "You'll have to contact the registar's office for that" - "We'll transfer you, hang on please" etc etc.

I return home after a nice confusing trip to college... Ooh yes I'm hungry, I want some damn food.
I think to myself "I like eggs, breakfast sandwich..." So there I am, fryin up some eggs to put on a sandwich.

The frying pan is heating up, the bread is in the toaster and... Woa! I've got demon eggs!
Yes that's right, demon eggs! I crack those suckers on the frying pan and there's two - you count em two yokes!

... I'm at a loss for words, staring at my egg samich wondering, dumbfounded, in awe.
Demon Eggs...

WHo the hell is Steve?
quick, then sleep

at first. . .
i was confused.
then I read Napster's " man does she have a lisp "
and was like > " Yes, but why? "

and then I got it.
and then I laughed.
and then I got pissed off.

I damn well hate that woman now.
merely because I knew she'd use me as some sort of anectdote.

blooody hell.
Wow ive come to an epifany, or at least a realisation. Im young in age,old in looks, mature in composure. Constantly people are thinking that im 27 or somewhere where else in my late 20's, ill send off my pic and girls my age will call me a dirty old pervert. Older women will hit on me thinking im their age and then i tell them my real age and they'll start calling me sweetie and honey. I'm more mature than alot of guys my age, most are just guys who would not hesitate to take advantage of a girl, while thoughts like those do go through my head from time to time ive never acted on them. I hear all this shit about how girls like guys who are sweet sensitive and caring, but why the hell do most girls wind up going out with total assholes and jerks, jocks who have no other goal than to fuck the girls brains out throughout highschool dumping her when somebody else comes long or when they go off to college with an IQ of 10 and an MVP award under their belts. Why can't girls see past the fasade that these guys put up, sure they act sweet now, but if your not putting out they will want nothing to do with you. Some of them are with guys who are outwardly jerks, but they continue to go with them because of the fact that by dating them there personal life and popularity will increase, because these guys are given everything by there parents such as money for things they dont need and expensive cars. #1 example would be americankickass, god i just cannot get over how stupid she is. Her boyfriend keith is a fucking moron, bragging to total strangers about events that never even happened. Makes me wish i had the balls to kick the crap out of people. What is wrong with guys like me?

August 20, 2001

for the past few hours i have been downloading comedy on good ol Morpheus, found some old Robin Williams Stand up, god hes awsome funny shit. Also somebody to note is Dave Chappele or Greg Proops
apparantly Ms. Devlin has quite a lisp
Mithter Collinth,

Gueth who wath talking about you at a teacher'th meeting thith morning? Thith perthon wath talking about me ath well and I wath only five feet away. In fact, thith individual wath talking about both of uth at the thame time. It ith nithe to know that you are not forgotten, huh?

Heres a letter that I recently wrote to the good folks at the tree top apple company concerning there applesauce, funny stuffDear Treetop,
My name is Andrew Morgan, I am 16 years old and am a big fan of your flavored apple sauce products. But the one fact that frustrates me is the fact that every time i want to enjoy your delicious product i have to open a seperate little plastic container, being a guy of considerable height and weight i have a serious appetite and the small containers do not seem sufficent. I am proposing that you try selling your flavored apple products in one large container or jar like you do with your plain flavored apple sauce. I assure you that this would be a great marketing move on your part because then your product will be easier to access and will create less waste overall. i would be a massive supporter for this as would others who enjoy your products. Thank you for taking the time to read my email and i wish you continued success with your business and quality products.
Andrew Morgan

Damn you Mr. Powers
Blow me down and pick me up thats the life of a pirate
get piss drunk and hassle a lass
walk on a wooden leg, and have no class
thats the life of a pirate
Get a parrot and captain boat, live the life of a pirate

August 19, 2001

Hello Heather...

Sorry I took so long to get back to you, I've been busy. I have been having
a wonderful time here in Sweden. I start school tomorrow. hehe... That is
Monday here. I'm nine hours ahead time wise.

Let everyone know Iäve said 'hi'. This dumb computer I'm on won't let me
post on the slugs page so... anywho, I have to get going. I think I will
make an arrangement with someone back home to post for me. We'll see.

Slug on the other side of the world,
secret to happiness:
Aim for the best.
Hope for mediocrity.
Expect the worst.

Never fails.


mike's post earlier : but w/ links :

SEX is the most important thing in the universe!"
So today I was thinking to myself "Is there any reason for living ?".. and I thought that was a good question to ask the internet.. the internet knows lost of things.. it seams the more we tell it, the more it knows... but does it know the reason for living ?.. The answer is YES IT DOES! .. but before we do that, I found a great game while on my adventure. It is called "NAIL JESUS TO THE CROSS".. can you nail jesus to the cross ?.. fun and excitement for the whole family ! .. Its at*
... It takes some getting used to, so at first when you miss a lot you will have to deal with jesus calling you a fag... this helps to motivate one to trow those nails !..

Okay so what is the reason for living ?.. Its very simple .. Any average biologist would tell you, there is no more meaning to life than reproduction.. but is this true ?..
I thought at first that since the internet is a monument to human thought and communication, that whatever was most "talked about" or communicated by people via the internet would give me a good idea of what is most important in human life... what is it ?.. well It is SEX.. So I was not content with this answer.. Hence, I went to the good old search engine and ran a search for "My reason to live".. mostly I found that women prefer to live for their children, young girls for their lovers.. man for their wives ... etc... So it seams that the biologists were correct... the most important thing in human life is reproduction, hell it is even a nearly universal reason to live.. who knew sex was the meaning to life ?... here are most of the links that I found to other peoples "reasons for living".. just to prove my point...

I think this proves my point !~

I'll shoot with a different take.

The way I figure it / is that when you've got no " goals " or " aspirations " - when you expect nothing to happen - then everything that does happen is a pleasantry.

Take for example relationships.

Dont bother with them. One day, when you're not bothering with them / a girl will come and slap herself upon your lap and you'll havent the slightest idea what to do with her. I find that most of the time the reasons why people want relationships is merely because they've got nothing else to focus on. A relationship isnt something you go down to the local supermarket and pick out of the fresh vegitable lane / it's something that happens. It shouldnt be forced. It shouldnt be something that one needs to fret over. If you look at it statistically - there are far uglier people than those who are on the board with wives... just yesterday in Sharis there was a man who had just gotten married. I laughed. Mike said :

" Enjoy your wife "

the lesbian, maggie, laughed. I dont believe the shackled man heard him. Another crazy thing about relationships is that once you're in them, you dont appreciate them / and once you're out of them / it's the only thing one could want.

So the trick, as I mentioned before / is NIRVANA.

No. I'm not advising you to go buy an album by Kurt Cobain.

Nirvana. Free of want. give up. When you've found that nothing is going your way - take "your way" and toss it out a window. Let life have it's way - and instead of making existance work for you / let yourself work for existance.

Something I've just learned in my experiences.

Also : when you associate yourself with people whom have aspired and achieved greater than yourself . . . you are just asking for jealousy and envy to jump start their engines in your little soul. You ( Aaron ) once ranted about how Joe gets all the things you want. The thing you should realize is that Joe is Joe, and You are You. Stop wanting to be Joe and start being yourself.

Once, a long time ago, I found that I had become nothing more than the collaborated ideas, wishes, wants, aspirations, and visions of those around me all mulched up into one being. I had no real " self. " - So I shunned everyone away. I went into deep introspection to find " myself " - and I believe it is something that very few people ever do. I know who I am.

I know very few people who can say the same.
very few.

but those who dont know what they are / always know what they want.
Or where they're going life. Or where they'll be tomorrow. Or what their future will be like...

These are things I dont really have down for myself.
Because although I have found out the reality of " self " for me.
The world is an entirely different, huge, multifaceted being which I cannot ever comprehend. An attempt at predicting where I will be tomorrow, or what I should want, or what my future will be like will only be superimposed fabrications of things whos probability of happening are entirely dependant on how well I know any and all beings asides from myself.

... and if it is difficult to know oneself. . .
how difficult is it to know others?

I don't know what I'm talking about.
something is inside me.
and it's bugging me.
really weird.

and so it goes. . .

>I am fractured as a person right now. I am in a really great mood, however I am dissatisfied with the way things are going.
Well Aaron, I shall quote Bradbury on this "Welcome to the Real World."

>There are several things I want and I can't have. Not so much material things, but feelings and experiences and relationships.
I want things just like that also, do you think you are any different then anyone else? I THINK NOT! So shut up and look around. I want the feelings of happiness and the ability to show it when I am. I want a healthy relationship with someone, and, this someone has to be one that I can relate to, someone that I can actually say that I love.

>I have become increasingly aware that things have not been going my way lately, and I'm pissed off about it. Just thought I'd share.
Aaron, you still have the childish, highschooler mind don't you? NOT EVERYTHING GOES YOUR WAY!!!!! Jesus, you have no idea how much hearing that statement pisses me off. Lets make a list now, of things that didn't go my way yesterday...hmmmm

1 - I had to wake up early
2 - I had to drive when I didn't want to
3 - I had to set up computers all day which I don't like to do
4 - I had to network computer which I don't like to do
5 - It was sunny (That damn weather system just doesn't go my way)
6 - I had to talk to Tom all day
7 - I had to walk around all day
8 - My feet hurt when I don't want them to

but you might be thinking differently about this, like "I didn't mean pointless mediocre things, I meant things like emotions and relationships."
Lets begin again-

1 - I grow increasingly depressed
2 - I have touble relating to women here
3 - I have trouble expressing emotion

You know, I could go on forever. But I won't, I'll just assume that you get the point. I'm just hoping, Aaron, that someday you'll look around your house, your neighborhood, the grocery store, the school you go to, and think to yourself, and look at the people "Does everything in their lives go the way they plan?" Then after asking yourself this, I hope, JUST HOPE, you actually reach this great moment of spiritual awareness, and realize, that very rarely does life treat you fare, or that life goes in the direction you want it to.

I'm done.

- Jesse

"There are two types of people in this world. There are the unenlightened, who don't know they're fucked, and there are the enlightened, who know they're fucked."
- Homeless Man on the 594 to Seattle
Good morning all, hope that this weekend has been eventful for you all, i know it hasnt for me. Well its looks the limit of first post has been pushed to the extreme once again, by moi. And JAMES what was with that easy with the name thing? What would you have me call you other than JAMES?

August 18, 2001

charged with the task, kneeling before ones master
path wrought with danger cleared with sharpend steel
bringing down the gates of hell
wandering the sands of the east in search of the devils brother
tainted sun darkens eternally
Carrion birds circle overhead
Try 120.
Seriously though, it may seem strange, but the more you do it, the more predictable it gets.
Eventually it becomes second nature.
Of course, that car wasn't made to be predictable or fun above freeway speed, but it will have patterns, and if you learn them along with a few driving techniques, the act of motoring becomes addictively fun.
another long day, this one without pay-but worth it.


I wasn't asking for you to experience it. It was there for me to vent, I would normally just vent it on my own computer in a .doc format, but I'm still at Joe's. I just explained that if it appeared amateurish and stupid, I don't care, because it served it's purpose. Function before Form and all that good stuff.

This is the third time I've posted today. Is that pitiful? I don't know if it is, but I hope not. I am really happy now, to learn that the virtue of patience might pay off for me for once in my life. I said "maybe" though...

I am at Joe's house, and Bonnie and Joe are asleep on the only available furniture to sleep on. Not together, one on couch, one on bed. Oh well, Joe is having his own internal conflicts. Very un-joe for those of you who know him. FUck, I'm rambling. Peace out!
"raw, pure, violent emotion"

exactly what my " style " of poetry avoids at all costs.

as to me, emotion is an internal conflict.
something " not quite right "
trying to trigger it in other people, intentionally seems....
well... diabolical.

I was going 85 down 507 last night at 3am listening to Beethoven's 9th
you wouldnt believe how weird it is controlling a car that fast.
crazy day. fun stuff.
I have the 9th ringing through my head.

as for WWP - it being a warez site, it probaby doesnt exist anymore.
try for funzo links to warez

and so it goes.
ADSL is [Asynchronous Digital Subscriber Line], which is what 99.999% of home DSL is.
It just means that the upstream and downstream rates aren't the same, downstream is higher.
Of course, there are many different types of DSL,

Easy way to tell whether you have DSL or cable-look at the "Modem"
If a round, cable TV coax cable goes to it, with a screw-on connector, you have cable. If it connects to your phone line, via a flatter, wider phone cord with a click-in connector, you have DSL.

QWorst is, well, QWorst.
If you're happy with ATT broadband, don't mess with it.


I need to vent something I'm not proud of. So here we go:

Proud and Angry,
torn so open,
Too piteous to feel anyway.

You've been left,
so forsaken,
I guess that makes it okay.

Easily disapprove I do.

Your tied down,
escape away,
Without my aid.

I don't know what it's called. I know it's not very poetic. However it is very raw, and that is exactly what it is meant to be. Raw, pure, violent emotion. I hope it conveyed it's purpose well.
Bradbury whats the difference between Dsl and ADSL, also i was under the impression that i had dsl but now im thinking that i have cable, I have Att and am thinking about switching to Qwest? Any suggestions?
Yes, DSL/ADSL/Cable modem rule.
Dual bonded T1's is a good setup too....
I am at Joe's, Bonnie is here, I guess I could say I'm posting for two. Well, except that Bonnie's asleep so I can't really know what she wants to say, but I can make a fairly decent educated guess.

I am fractured as a person right now. I am in a really great mood, however I am dissatisfied with the way things are going. There are several things I want and I can't have. Not so much material things, but feelings and experiences and relationships. I know you might just say, "Aaron, quit writing your typical high schooler bullshit here." To that I say, "Fuck you Jesse!", or anyone else who says it, but it'd most likely be him. I have become increasingly aware that things have not been going my way lately, and I'm pissed off about it. Just thought I'd share. James, if you see this, contact Joe on ICQ and tell him where you found Worms World Party to download.

For those of you that are on a 56K modem, I'd like to tell you that I am fully experiencing the greatness of DSL. Also, check out the band Adema, good stuff...

All for now...
First. I want you to know that I am nude.
I got home. I stripped nude.
Here I am. sitting in my chair. balls flopped over the side.
I am nude.

I took a shit / and the door was left open.
ha ha ha.

In the freezer are eight, count them, eight burritos.
all mine.
... oh ... heavenly day.

total "egg carton seperators" made today?

eh heh.
Darkness, insomnia, terror
singularity, being alone and frightend
One against many, the odds against you
weapons few and far between
Ancient evil, festering, infesting
Tablets containing the key to the gate, old language
Two heroes, one unstoppable force...darkness
makes its home on the island

August 17, 2001

Lah de dah de dah. AH! MY FEET HURT!!!! Jesus, I never knew I'd be walking around Seattle as much as I have been during this tech shit. Well, time to goto Uawjumya(sp), and to the import book store!!! I love the International District, good food, good reading, and good looking asian women. I should wear my bear hat tomorrow, bears are like shiny rocks to Japanese chicks. Oh well, get manga, be happy, wear hats, dye hair.

Yes it's a teddy bear hat...I had it custom made. If you watch Serial Experiments Lain, then you'd know that it rules!

Whuh? James is mean? Why i do believe you are wrong.

I am mean. Greaahhhh. I am the true incarnation of mean.

Actually, if you ask james, and remind him of a certain car-ditch incident, then he might agree...
no, wait...he'd call me a psycho or something...bah, like he's qualified...

I'm qualified. Do you hear me?!?! I am. After all, i'm paying 15,000 or so a year to be called "qualified", so i ask you...

who is smarter?!

I know, i know, it is obvious.

i see alli see all8

Note to board-James is mean.

Yeah-I passed my last Nursing test today. I'm an EMT and a CNA. SO, then, what does it mean to be a CNA? Not much, except now I can go on to my next adventure-phleobotomy. I just need a few patients for practice.

Any volunteers?
jEFFLast Night


Well, this is my last full day in my dorm, and my last night's sleep in my dorm for 51/2 weeks. Then i'll be back. I had quite a deal of stuff up here to pack, but i'm virtually done. That's good. I'll remember not to bring too many things with me when i move back up here.

It bugs me that i have to move out for a lousy 5 weeks. It is such an extreme hassle because its takes forever to get all this stuff back into the dorms, and there are going to be so many people moving back into the dorms on move in day. It's insane. Oh well...i'll deal. I've done it in the past...blah.

I also hate this move because i can't focus on getting a job up here and making enough money to support myself during college. It would be nice. I thought about working at Targettm again, but i don't know if that's a likely option. I'll consider it. I don't feel like doing flow anymore though, and i may actually decide to work with the customers for a couple of weeks.

Still, i don't know if i want to do that. Plus, that means i have to pay for car insurance all over again, and i'm a little broke for that. Ugh. See, its an extremely viscious cycle that is really hard to escape from. Oh well, i figure that i pay for insurance and then work and make it all back. Still, it sucks nonetheless.

It will be a good break from college i suppose. Except for the fact that overall i am enjoying college, my classes, and life up here in general. Mostly i suppose its because there "feels" like there is more to do up here. [That may not actually be the case.] And of course, i had my own room with no parental units or siblings to bug me. Oh my friends, after tasting what freedom feels like, it is hard to leave it, even if it is only for 5 weeks.

I don't know if i'll be doing anything this saturday. Possibly. When i get home tomorrow afternoon, it will depend on how tired i am and how withdrawn i will probably feel. You think i'm joking but i'm not. It may just end up being a day where i sit back, listen to music, and finish Catch-22. I am almost done, so it will feel great to finish that.

Also, i am working on studying my ass off for calculus coming up in 6 weeks.

Yes, its kind of a sad way to spend my Saturday, but i really want to finish that book.

Plus, it made fun of psychiatrists. It was damn funny stuff.

Okay, well i've wasted enough time. I'm gonna get some more stuff done. Hell, maybe i'll even call jOe and see if he got that job at Chevron. That could be interesting.

i see alli see all7
note to self : shave
... yes.
Beginning, post mortem brothers in arms
going for the all bringing us down to the level of beasts
Preaching the status quo, and the supression of the human spirit
Cry out i say for what as is, cannot be what we were put here for
The heavens screech and roar, moan and howl....but man listens not
his creator...looked on as nothing more than an moody eccentric or a benevolent fundraiser
can he see not what we have thrown away.
Religion? Evolution? Creation? Chaos........ 4<+5[9x5>5]=4_3.14

August 16, 2001

My goodness, who is that hot EMT posting? Could it be? Why, yes! Heather is the new EMT on the board. Man, that Heather rocks so hardcore.
Lawrence is...Lawrence. Interesting. Different. He would fit in here, I think.
But he doesn't spend much time on the net.
I guess he's the smart one.

Welcome to life, Jesse. Try to not let it get you down

I suppose that was a little harsh, and not quite what I meant. More like, welcome to [post-high school, lousy-fucking-job, complacent, stuck-in-a-rut "American Dream" bullshit] life. Even though you are still in school, it's good you can get a taste of what to avoid....


Finish high school.
Go to college.
Do what it takes to get a job that doesn't leave you depressed riding the bus,
You don't necessarily need to "get an education"
But it helps.

Have you seen the movie "American Beauty?"
That's what I'm talking about
wait....not the whole {lusting after the daughter's friend} thing. I meant the {waking up to realize that where you're at is exactly where you've been trying to get, but nowhere near happiness or where you wanted to be prior to becoming "successful"} part.

A GED won't take you anywhere. The military doesn't even like them. Everyone I know who just gave up and got a GED is getting nowhere slowly.


I'm exhausted. Time for sleep.


I don't know, it's something I wrote this morning at 1 AM

The bus was late.
We stood outside, waiting. The weather was peaceful this morning. A light sprinkle of rain that was accompanyed by a little bit of fog. This is something I didn't really expect for summer weather, but I didn't seem to mind.

My fellow co-workers stood by me, the one that I usually talk was sitting down on the bench, working on last minute projects. His name is Lawrence, you can recognize him anywhere by his tweed bellbottoms. The others, whom I don't really care for, stood elsewhere.

The bus came to a scretching halt as it reached us, exactly 7 minutes late. Oh well, I wasn't in too much of a hurry to get to work, although I did want to see Seattle once again. We all grabbed out things and boarded the bus, payed, and sat down. This was a comfort, so early in the morning. The cushion from the seat was relaxing as I pulled out my CD Player. Music choise for the morning wasn't too much of a fast passed selection, Boards of Canada. Little do I know that it'll be the theme for the day, but I chose to ignore fate and be in peace. The bus was nearly empty. Listening to my music, I pulled out a manga, and started to ignore everything else. No one could talk to me or bother me, I was in my own world.

The bus chugged along, the low rumbling drull of the engine changed pitch each time the driver kicked it into a different gear. It seemed harmonic and rythmic. Everyone around me seemed as if they were headed to work. I wouldn't be surprised, being that it was 8:20 am on a Tuesday.

The rest of the bus ride contained nothing more then what has been happening. Then, we reached Seattle at about 9 oclock.

We joined some other of our fellow workers and started setting up computers in the Exhibition Center. I looked outside in hopes of the fogs existance, and I was joyed to see that it was still fresh and alive. We moved computers and set up local area networks. This was all fun the year before, but not anymore. It was just another dull and boring task to fill up a day of noncreative thoughts. That's all networking is.

Turbo Truffle, down.

Lunch time hit and we all left for Pioneer Square, but I had a mission I needed to accomplish. My associate Carlos was one to accompany me, the others just followed. I didn't want them to, all they did was complain the whole way. I was on a mission to find a book store, although the directions I was given were wrong, I still found it in it's new location in the International District of this lovely city. I stood in there for a bit, looking for a few things, such as: Trigun MAximum #5, Serial Experiments Lain, and the number one thing on my list, the Cowboy Bebop Art Book. My only problem was, the people, besides Carlos, that followed me. So, I was forced to leave early. Oh well...I'll go again tomorrow, this time, without them.

So we went for lunch. I satisfied my appetite with some Korean Sushi and some Japanese Soft Drink.

On the way back, we passed what I loathe about Seattle...poverty. This stuff always depresses me. To see a drunk on the side of the road, or a washed up druggy stumbling out of a Rehabilitation Center, or an old women, trying to find a quarter on the ground. I shouldn't let it bother me, just make sure, I won't be like that...

The whole mood of that area of town set me off for part of the day, but then we returned to work...the machine.

Turbo Truffle, down.

At about 4:04, a couple co-workers that decided not to work like as I did, left with me. Time to take the bus back home, hopefully, I'll get online later when I get home...that's all I was thinking about, and that's all that really mattered to me at the moment. I didn't care about anything else.

The bus was late.

About twenty minutes after it's scheduled arrival, it appeared, ready to haul us back home. Thank god, the day was almost over. As we stepped on the bus, it was packed, the seats were full, and we were forced to stand in the isle. I though, didn't mind it, and put my headphones on. Escape the surroundings just a bit. It's been a long day, and Iwas getting tired.

The fog had disipated at lunch and the sun has peaked it's little rays down upon me. Good thing I was away from it now. I listened to the only thing that I had on me that was peaceful, Boards of Canada. Their song Kid for Today fit perfectly with the feel of the bus. It didn't feel to natural, almost like a dream. Everyone on it, even Lawrence, was sleeping. Their eyes were closed, lulled down by the rythmic sound of the engine, the rattling of the side doors beating against the frame of the bus, and the tune shift of the bus changing gears. This scared me more then anything has ever. I stood there, looking at these people in wonder. I wondered, how they could go through life the way they do. It seemed so hard just to be around them at this moment, I wanted so much to get off the bus. As they go through life, with their jobs that they might hate, everyday, the same grind of traffic, the same coffee with honey in the morning, the same tunafish on white for lunch, and the same bus ride home and nice nap before they get off. Absolutely nothing different, the same horrible pattern everyday. The same way, the same everything. The thought almost brought me to tears.

As the song changed on my CD Player, I wondered if, when I grow up, maybe get married...if I'll have these same set-daily patterns. Just another cog in the machine.

The thought depressed me a bit. I love Seattle, I wouldn't mind living in a city like it, or even the city itself. Hopefully not though, because today I realized that I don't want to live here anymore, I need to get away, go somewhere else. But, I hate Seattle's bad side, and I hate taking the bus, and there's no way in hell, I'm going to end up like some people on it. Their faces looked old, and warn, as if they've been doing this for years without change. Their faces were tired. I didn't want that. It scared me. I want to be happy in the future and have change, but most of all, I wanted to go online.
I shall tell you all about my "rise to power" through bartending. Don't wanna hear it ? Well, shut up and pretend to like it.

In the words of Douglas Coglan (Bryan Brown in "Cocktail")

"Handsome all knowing bartender."

"Name of the game is women. Skirts are rising, when you can see the color of their panties, you know you've got talent." ( not quite a correct quote, was too lazy to stop the video again. )

"The bartender is the aristocrat of the working class, he'll make all sorts of moves if he's smart. There are investors out there, there are angels, there are suckers,... there are rich women with nothing to do with their money."

I'd like to draw special attention to the words "Handsome and all knowing" also, "aristocrat of the working class". ( The working class would consist of the rest of you... fellows. )

Quite nervous about Friday, it's final test day. One hundred questions and a speed test of 12drinks in 7 minutes or less. Twelve random drinks out of the 118 which I was taught.
I've done this in 5mins 7secs - but I'd squeel ( yes, squeel ) if I got an even 5mins on Friday.
is it just me, or are napsters post annoying?

i wuv voo napster.

anywho-im in the middle of an interesting debate with zacho---actually, its a really stupid debate with zacho-that im winning at.
itsa funny, hes getting pissed off, and im laughing my arse off, and hes like-"shut up" and "god your dumb" hehhee, oh man. gotta love that zahc guy.

well-i shoud probably post about the results of the urine tests, and blood samples, and what the doctors thing is wronge with me.

they dont know, but what ever it is, it wont kill me.

ok---so i guess i CAN be satisfied with that answer. basically-it could be a worm or something in my testis, eating away at my tasty testis, muching on that succulant flesh. yummors. or---as the doctor/nurse/person said, it could be caused by riding the bicycle too much.


now, i havent riden a bike in ages, so i was really confused with this conclusion that the doctor/nurse/person told me. and than i reliesed what that meant..."You mastubate too much."

so there you have it. my bloodness in my urine is caused by masturbation. porno flicks are my doooooom. i have bad nuts.
but, stuffs getting better. stuffs getting better everyday.

ive been reading Decartes, and Sartre's book on the ego. pretty neet. very conflicting. decarte is funzo, however. wow, thanks mike, for buying that book for me. yarsh.

"Every action is a postive action, even if it has negative results."

August 15, 2001

ah ha it seems that ive figured at last how to post pictures yeee ha
{ uber condensed }

ok heres more in the ongoing comedy that is americankickass, with this i introduce you to nick, her ex boyfriend that seems to also be using this poor girls internet account for his own purposesZEBSBUDANDY: back again are you?
americankickass6: who is this??
ZEBSBUDANDY: who is this?
ZEBSBUDANDY: im andrew
ZEBSBUDANDY: is this Keith again?
ZEBSBUDANDY: or is it nick this time
americankickass6: this is nick and keith is with coryn
ZEBSBUDANDY: dude youve got to help that girl
ZEBSBUDANDY: Keith is such a dumbass
americankickass6: umm dude no
americankickass6: keith is cool
ZEBSBUDANDY: you think so?
americankickass6: everone no's so
americankickass6: if you haven't gone out wiht keith you are nobody
ZEBSBUDANDY: oh so youve gone out with keith have you?
ZEBSBUDANDY: you guys are into that huh
americankickass6: no we all go out with trish and to be cool
americankickass6: a*
ZEBSBUDANDY: ahh i see
ZEBSBUDANDY: do you worship Ron Jeremy too?
americankickass6: hey did she say where they were goin?? yea
americankickass6: yea
ZEBSBUDANDY: wow thats like two of you
americankickass6: hell yea man that dude is cool
americankickass6: did she say where they wer goin??
ZEBSBUDANDY: she said they were gonna go fuck eachothers brains out in the restroom of a place that peeps call the peek
americankickass6: coryn??? u got to be kidding me she is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not like that
ZEBSBUDANDY: she was adament about it
ZEBSBUDANDY: oh wait i think it was keith who said that
americankickass6: adament??
ZEBSBUDANDY: ya its a big word that non stoners and non football players use
americankickass6: hey i ain't a football playa and i ain't a stonner i no drugs are bad plus u don't on me so how can you say i am all of that shit??huh??
ZEBSBUDANDY: good point
ZEBSBUDANDY: sorry bout that my bad
americankickass6: yea your bad
ZEBSBUDANDY: we still cool my brotha?
americankickass6: ummmm no
ZEBSBUDANDY: i dont want you to be bustin my ass down with your crew
americankickass6: dude your ass is down
ZEBSBUDANDY: true true
ZEBSBUDANDY: so why arent you at the peek?
ZEBSBUDANDY: with all the other peeps?
americankickass6: cuz the peek is bad it is't a club or whatever it is wheer peeps go to makout
ZEBSBUDANDY: i knew it
ZEBSBUDANDY: i told her that keith was probably gonna try something
ZEBSBUDANDY: bu she said noo that wasnt going to happen
americankickass6: no coryn and keth aren't like that coryn it is a place there is music there and everthing peeps dmce and shit so that is what they are goin to do but must peeps just make out
americankickass6: i am shure they will make out and shit but nothing like sex and all
ZEBSBUDANDY: are they still going out?
ZEBSBUDANDY: cause she said that she broke up with him
americankickass6: yea they broke up but shit that gurl will makeout with neone they are really good friend
americankickass6: s*
ZEBSBUDANDY: is she kinda slutty
ZEBSBUDANDY: cause she really seems like the ditzy cheerleader type
ZEBSBUDANDY: she said that her favorite part about drinking coke was the fact that it killed brain cells
americankickass6: no she isn't slutty but belive me she won't say sex or porn she has to say like things like bad stuff and eww stuff
ZEBSBUDANDY: ya i know
ZEBSBUDANDY: its kinda sad really
ZEBSBUDANDY: there just words
americankickass6: so she thinks they are bad word
ZEBSBUDANDY: hey do you know a person called Greeneyedfox?
americankickass6: yea
americankickass6: i am talkin to her
americankickass6: y??

ZEBSBUDANDY: watch out for her
americankickass6: y??

americankickass6: she like cyber sex??
ZEBSBUDANDY: its a possibility
ZEBSBUDANDY: shes like a total nymph
americankickass6: ohhhh
ZEBSBUDANDY: why whats she saying to you?
americankickass6: nothin
ZEBSBUDANDY: ahh i see
ZEBSBUDANDY: so how long did you go out with coryn
americankickass6: like a year and 1/2
ZEBSBUDANDY: so your glad that shes going out out with keith
americankickass6: she is not goin out with keith they are just friends
ZEBSBUDANDY: keith seems that hes a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket though
americankickass6: what?
ZEBSBUDANDY: few bricks shy short of a load if you know what i mean
ZEBSBUDANDY: i think that hes still thinks that hes going out with coryn
ZEBSBUDANDY: hes like in denial
americankickass6: no he no's they aren't goin out
ZEBSBUDANDY: he told me to stop talking to "his gurl"
ZEBSBUDANDY: that sounds to me like he thinks they are still going out
americankickass6: no evergurl to him is his gurl
ZEBSBUDANDY: so then hes an egotistical womanizer
americankickass6: yea
ZEBSBUDANDY: sounds like a typical football player
{ uber condensed }

well heres another chapter in the ongoing americankickass saga i just cant get over how dumb this girl and her boyfriend areZEBSBUDANDY: Hi Keith
americankickass6: umm no
americankickass6: this is coryn
ZEBSBUDANDY: i was talking to your bf earlier
ZEBSBUDANDY: he used your screen name
ZEBSBUDANDY: so you broke up with him?
americankickass6: yea i did
ZEBSBUDANDY: good for you
ZEBSBUDANDY: he treated me like an asshole
americankickass6: no good for him
ZEBSBUDANDY: he kept saying that i was gonna rape you
ZEBSBUDANDY: what a weirdo
americankickass6: no
ZEBSBUDANDY: no what do you mean no
americankickass6: no
americankickass6: that is what i mean no
ZEBSBUDANDY: thats deep
americankickass6: no
americankickass6: yea i like diet coke bye the way
ZEBSBUDANDY: doesnt surprize me
americankickass6: byeeeee
ZEBSBUDANDY: it kills brain cells you know
americankickass6: yea i like when it does that
ZEBSBUDANDY: so are you going back out with Nick?
americankickass6: no
ZEBSBUDANDY: oh so then wont all the girls call you chicken again?
americankickass6: no boys and i don't care
ZEBSBUDANDY: thats good
ZEBSBUDANDY: at least youve got your pride
americankickass6: no i don't care if they do cuz i am not goin to that school nemore
ZEBSBUDANDY: so youve decided to drop out of school
americankickass6: yea
americankickass6: and right now i am goin out with keith and i am goin ot meet him sooo bye
americankickass6: no
ZEBSBUDANDY: i thought you broke up with him
americankickass6: so we are still friend
americankickass6: s*
americankickass6: bye
ZEBSBUDANDY: your a very indecisive girl
americankickass6: yea well your very werid it is ok for me to be friends with my x boyfriend ok there is nothing rong with that sooo bye
ZEBSBUDANDY: i know that
ZEBSBUDANDY: i like being weird
americankickass6: it just means i am a nice gurl GOODBYE
ZEBSBUDANDY: a nice brain dead cheerleader type gurl
americankickass6: what is that sppose to mean y am i brian dead
ZEBSBUDANDY: cause you drink diet cocke
ZEBSBUDANDY: i mean diet coke
americankickass6: have u everhad diet coke??
ZEBSBUDANDY: yes i have
americankickass6: i like diet coke cuz it taste good and i have a right to like what i want now see i got to go cuz i have a friend to meet bye
americankickass6: we are goin to the peek if you care
ZEBSBUDANDY: are you in washington
americankickass6: no
ZEBSBUDANDY: diet coke is good
americankickass6: we are goin to what peeps call the peek
ZEBSBUDANDY: what do you do there
americankickass6: now bye before u make me late
americankickass6: nohtin hang out
ZEBSBUDANDY: diet coke has stuff that is the same stuff famalydahyde is made out of
americankickass6: i don't care good bye
americankickass6: i have to go to the peek now
americankickass6: bye
ZEBSBUDANDY: dont get pregnant
americankickass6: shut up it is a plce where peeps hang out it is nnown as a club peeps dance there
americankickass6: peeps hang out there get it
americankickass6: bye
americankickass6: i have to be ther at 5:20 goodbye
ZEBSBUDANDY: and people get laid in the bathroom
americankickass6: no they have scturited
americankickass6: dumb ass
americankickass6: bye
americankickass6: lokk my hide is here bye
ZEBSBUDANDY: just because they have scturited doesnt mean that it doesnt happen
americankickass6: no it dosn't my hide is here bye
ZEBSBUDANDY: maybe if security came along and did there job scturited wouldnt have to
ZEBSBUDANDY: so why dont you leave
americankickass6: i am bye
americankickass6 signed off at 2:26:10 PM.
americankickass6 signed on at 2:26:39 PM.
ZEBSBUDANDY: back again i see?
americankickass6: umm no that wasn't my hide
americankickass6: he will be here soon
americankickass6: no not really i just can't wait to go and get away from you
ZEBSBUDANDY: anyways im sorry i called you braindead
americankickass6: bye my pricecharming is here see ya
ZEBSBUDANDY: either way
americankickass6: what is that sppose to mean
americankickass6: ok so don't say shit u don't on bye
ZEBSBUDANDY: either way when i say it its what i mean
ZEBSBUDANDY: you do the same damn thing
americankickass6: i will be home at 2 bye
ZEBSBUDANDY: allright then
americankickass6 signed off at 2:29:27 PM.
{ uber condensed }

and now i bring to your the other half of the americankickass relationship, its her boyfriend and this guy is dumb just like youd imagine a football player to be
he logged in under his girlfriends screen nameamericankickass6: hey hey
americankickass6: who is this??

ZEBSBUDANDY: i take it your whats her names boyfriend
americankickass6: yea so who is this?
ZEBSBUDANDY: im the dude
ZEBSBUDANDY: my names Andrew
americankickass6: ok dude bye don't talk to my gurl no more bye
ZEBSBUDANDY: but people call me napster
ZEBSBUDANDY: is this Nick or Keith?
americankickass6: keith
americankickass6: how u no my name??
americankickass6: brb'
ZEBSBUDANDY: so your the football dude huh
ZEBSBUDANDY: she told me your name
americankickass6: yea brb
americankickass6: ok listen u stay away from coryn and don't talk to her ok?
ZEBSBUDANDY: im not flirting or nothing
ZEBSBUDANDY: she came to me
americankickass6: yea ok i no al bout u guys come on here talk to gurls and then raoe then and shit
ZEBSBUDANDY: wow you have been hit in the head a few time havent you
ZEBSBUDANDY: i think shes in like another states
americankickass6: no u have thou
ZEBSBUDANDY: oh good comeback
ZEBSBUDANDY: the other cheerleaders your fucking behind her back teach you that one
ZEBSBUDANDY: she came up to me and asked me if knew who Ron Jeremy was
americankickass6: umm i don't like other cheerleader and no i am ot playin her
americankickass6: ohhh man he is cool
ZEBSBUDANDY: hes just a fat guy with a big penis
americankickass6: and he is awsome
ZEBSBUDANDY: why do you think hes awsome?
ZEBSBUDANDY: you know your girlfriend doesnt like porn right
ZEBSBUDANDY: she says it icky
americankickass6 signed off at 1:42:58 PM.
note the many spelling errors, probably caused by repeatedly bashing his cranium into other heavy guys moving at rapid paces on a big grassy field, now if that doesnt point to a football player i dont know what does
in the past two days I have :

stacked 43400 boxes.
fed 33885 corregated sheets.

the sheets, yesterday / were fed at 9000 per hour.
the boxes, two days ago / were stacked at 15000 per hour.

I dont care for the math.
all in all, expect a more ... " nice " post when I have time to ...
... not be in pain.
1. i do more than you, i administrate more than you, i do the template, i also invite most, and I fix HTML errors / shrink text / fix links / and so on.

2. you blather on about how you're an aministrator - the only reason why she thought you were an administrator is because she happened to see a post with you, yet again, blathering on about being an administrator. If you notice - rarely ever do I take credit for actually *fixing* things - wherein I just fix them.

3. we all know that all " great men " have no real stance in time, history, or fact - merely because it was always the " smaller, more smart men who didnt either want popularity or had it stolen away from them in some random mishap " guy who did most of the work until some shmuck stops by - takes the credit - and HOOP LAAAH, makes it in the books...

4. I spell the word " won " correctly / and have edited to reflect so.

isnt it great when you dont care that you've just made up a word that has no meaning and is hard to pronounce?
jEFFCeremonium - hey, its not everyday that you can invent a word that just sounds that prestigous

It is a proud day for me (not really), when i get to find out that our illustrious little bloggin' area receives an award. James, you have outdone yourself yet again. We have apparent{ly won} an award from a contest that james placed loose slugs in.

Isn't that all so wonderous and beautiful. Yes, i thought so too.

So now, without further ado, i present to you all, the wonderful award that each and everyone one of you helped to achieve.

Now, don't you all feel special. I'm all a'tingle.

You've all won the Erratical Winds award!

Isn't so...awww...words can't even begin to descibe it.

Here is the attached message that was also sent to me:

One of the bloggers at _l_o_o_s_e__s_l_u_g_s___.:::ó applied for one of my
site awards, and smart as I am, I of course forgot the email-blank out of my
form, so I have not the slightest clue who it was. However, from the posts
on the blog, I figured you were the administrator (or at least one of them
if there are several) and the one to email about this. *g* So,
congratulations, your site has won the Erratical Winds -award that I give to
weird sites! I was for a moment about to give you guys the award for
interactivity, but thought this would fit you better... And thanks to the
background graphic on the blog-page, I now have "Who Let the Dogs Out"
ringing in my head. =P

Windy Hills

That's all for now.

Oh...on a side note, i think its quite interesting that out of james and i, i was the one who seemed like the administrator more.

i see alli see all6