December 31, 2002

I'd just like to point out that I didnt edit bradbury's post.
some people enjoy putting [ edited ] on their posts and from time to time when they do - others actually " yell " or " get on my case " for doing that.
its agitating, really - being that the only instance I edit something is if, say - you're making a post about how people cannot spell worth a shit and you hate their guts and you just happen to type out : " Fukcers can burn in hell! " - i'd fix that.
or you're steven and you decide to type out a long and drawn out letter-per-heading post that fucks everything up.
or michael who cannot seem to use spaces in sentences and makes the board go horizontal.
or jimmoi who posts an image of a bird which alters the size of the board itself.
or - as bradbury beat me to it - when you mass-post something to the extent that it is " beyond necissary " - mind you, at those times I do leave a good bit of your work on the board - but i remove about three fourths of it.

As for bradbury's drunken semi-coherant-ness : be expecting the same from me, tonight - if I get onto Joe's computer at his house.
hee hee hee.
I throughouly plan to get " smashed " as the saying goes - being as i've been long over due for a good " lets forget shit " alcoholic driven frenzy.

Lets all follow bradbury's example ( well, not literally ) - and end this year with a . . .

B A N G


and hey zacho - you gettin' new-years-eve-road-head?
heh - and be sure to post what YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON TO DO : _________ THIS YEAR
and YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON TO DO : _________ IN 2003 -

I specifically remember than in 2001 Brice was the very first person to shit into a paper bag.
aint that somethin' ?

I dont know what I'll do tonight/morning - but i'll be sure to post it.

December 30, 2002

"The Other White Meat" is A RED MEAT!!!


All mamallian meat is "red" meat.



The damage it causes to human circulatory systems is amazing.
ME GETING SHITFACED AND BORED=MORE POSTING THAT THE BOARD HAS SEEN IN A MONTH.

[edited]
I apologize to those of you who might be offended by the barely coherent ramblings of a drunk fucker such as myself.

LIFE IS ONE GREAT BIG FUCKING MYSTERY.

ENJOY IT, YOU PEOPLE, YOU MAY OR MAY NOT GET ANOTHER CHANCE.

EVERYTHING IS HERE FOR OUR ENJOYMENT, OR SO IT WOULD SEEM.


THERE'S ONLY ONE SPACE AFTER A COMMA OR SEMICOLON,

TWO AFTER A PERIOD OR A COLON, SO SAYS THE ENGLISH TEACHER.






WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The pig's balls never dropped.

Turns out "he" was a she. Oops.

But I now know what a pig looks like on the inside. Especially the kidneys. For some reason, they don't remove the kidneys when they slaughter hogs. Strange. Most everything is different with pigs.


And, for the record, Blue Max Sausage Company, at 96th and Canyon, 120th and Pacific, and 56th and South Tacoma Way, makes the best smokedm goods (i.e jerky, sausage, etc) in the state. Carl Mefford, the owner of all three, is on hell of a guy. Give his products a try, if any of you get a chance. You won't regret it.


Conherency is for those who haven't discovered mind-altering substances.
Abba Zabba.



Be - all that you can be. And play video games.



Just for the record, I AM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC. I AM A DEDICATED DRINKER

I've told myself that for four years now.
Wow. I can stand. Go figure. I guess a full bladder was all the motivation it took. I can even walk. And sit. And then stand back up again.

Nifty.
Nice post, Zach-o. They were Hicks, not rednecks. There is a difference.
But the fucking-with was first class. I admire your efforts at bringing the sting of being beaten to those who deserve it.


Although, had I read it before my last post, things might have been different.


[Bob Saget says: "I used to suck dick for coke!"]

["I love you man!" "You're not getting my Bud Light."]
Redneckicus Drunkicus:

I now know what it's like to be, more or less, a passenger in the destruction of a $30k vehicle (2001 Toyota Tundra, my baby, and the center of my Hot Rod efforts [read: most of my money, most of my time] for the past year and a half).
Mind you, I was driving the vehicle, but when someone pulls out (directly) in front of you on a wet road at 45 mph, there is nothing the driver can do but try his best and hold the fuck on. Well, my best wasn't good enough at 10 this morning, and now I have been faced with what more than enough people have dealt with. As far as holding on, I did that as well as anyone ever has.

For the remainder(sp?) of my vacation, I'll be dealing with two insurance companies (his and mine), Lakes Body Shop, and the Pierce County Sherriff's department. So, right now, I'm as drunk as I've been in a long time (probably since July or so, but I'm not really sure). Tomorrow, I'll drink until I can't possibly drink any more (then I'll have my buddies poor it down my throat. The goal of this is too keep from being sore [yeah, that's it. that's the ticket!]). Let's just say that, until the 6th (my first day back at work after 16 days off) I'll be giving a lot of money to Coor's and the Washington State Liquor Control Board. ooh, and Peperidge Farms. Damn, those Goldfish Crackers are good. Moreso after a 5th (750ml, 1/5th of 1 gallon) of Jack Daniel's Old Time "Old no. 7 Brand" Quality Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey (so says the bottle). It is, by making, actually a bourbon, but having not been made in the Bourbon area of Kentucky, they don't call it bourbon. They call it Tennesse Whiskey.

Oh, God yeah. (assuming there is a God. Not that I'm saying there is or isn't, just using an expression.)

I hope you all enjoy your "New Year's" plans, whatever they may be. Hell, sitting around watching TV counts, as long as the spirit is there.

TO END, I'd like to say:

FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!!


(I'll truncate it myself, to save James the effort. Just count on me having typed it for ten or twelve pages)


P.S. It's amazing how lucidly I can type. I can't even stand up right now. But I'm watching "Half Baked," so "it's all good."


P.P.S. You'd be surpised how hard I can throw a screwdriver after as wonderfull a crash as I had this morning. The gravel from the side of Canyon Road actually dented the damn thing.

December 29, 2002

Goals for today:
-Pick up pig.
-Deliver pig to slaughterhouse by 6 a.m.
-Pick up trailer-towed pig-roasting rotisserie.
-Deliver trailer-towed pig-roasting rotisserie to site of pig roasting.
-Retrieve pig from slaughterhouse and deliver to site of pig roasting.

Day's tally:
-Three rednecks, with a combined total of around 6 hours sleep, caked with mud.
-Two trucks, fairly beat-up, caked with mud.
-One Toyota bottle jack, very bent.
-One pig, very alive, fairly oblivious to its situation.
-Zero trailer-towed pig-roasting rotisseries.

Today could have gone worse, but it really would have had to try.

December 28, 2002

Holy fuckin' Chroist

Well, for those of you who didn't know - my sister ran away from home a few days ago. Tonight, I had an odd thought - what about (enter freinds name)? Her parents are known for harbouring run aways. So, I pull into their driveway and BAM! There's my sister in their living room. I didn't even have to go in - I saw her from the road. and she saw me.

So, I knock on the door. No answer. So, I pound on the door. No answer. So, I get in anyway. BAM! I commited a crime.

Then, there's the yelling match. Then, the freind's parents say, "Okay, you can take Amber and (insert freind she ran away with's name here) with you." and then helped them ESCAPE out the back. What the fuck is that?!? So, my dad is called. They call the cops on my dad for assault, when he's not even there yet. I call (insert name of freind who ran away with sister)'s Mom and tell her what's up. Dad tells them, as their being taped by a 911 operator, that if Amber or (insert that same old friend) set foot in their house, they are committing the felony of harbouring a runaway as well as aiding a minor in a crime - as one of the runaways has a "youth at risk" order/arrest warrent out on her. Dad leaves, I go to the front of the neighborhood to wait for said other mother. She drives back though the neighborhood sans headlights and sees my sister and her daughter though the same window and calls 911. She calls me and my dad, we go over there. The cop won't go get them out because they claim they're afriad to go home ( I would be too at that point! ). My dad says to the cop "Either me or her are leaving here in a cop car tonight." Cop takes that as a threat, calls for back-up, claiming my Dad is assaulting him. Back-up arrives, goes in and gets both girls. As they get in the car, (insert harbour-ers names) tell the cops I don't have a liscence. I do. They say they're gonna smack me with breaking and entering - I'd already talked to the cop and told him what happened, he's cool with it. Dad is talked to for assaulting the officer, but they're all in all cool with that to. (Other runaway's mother) gets a case number, and the harbour-ers are hit with -

1)Aiding a minor in committing a crime - felony
2)Harbouring a runaway x2 - felony
3)Concealing the whereabouts of a runaway x2 - ?
4)and, for refusing to remand Amber to my custody, custodial interference by a non-related party - felony

and the Hell of it is - they won't know tis till tomorrow morning.

December 25, 2002

I shall elaborate my point because it seems nobody has seemed to got it - but rather, has pigeonholed me into the stereotypical " grinch " or " scrooge " as it may be. I believe steve may have the same feeling I have - and yet you still do not listen to him either. So here I go.

First and foremost my beef was not necissarily with the economizing of christmas as a holiday. I dont care much for that.
and secondly - Im tired of all the bullshit that comes when someone makes a point and the only thing to degrade that point is : " YOU THINK TOO MUCH " or " STOP OVER ANALYZING THINGS " or something else along the same lines. These two points I shall further elaborate.

My beef with christmas was about the idealogies behind them. Not about " OH MAN I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE FUN BECAUSE OF ( SOME REASON ) " - and it wasnt about NOT ENJOYING CHRISTMAS. My beef was behind presents and the idealogies that people present in giving and receiving said presents. Not with the holiday. THE PEOPLE - and secondly : specifically for michael that is : Im not a family person. I dont give a flying rats ass if mom and dad and little brother joe and the one legged crippled kid who " PLEASE SAH, MAY I HAVE SOME MOHRE? " shows up to get a turkey. I dont want grandma and grandpa over. I dont want Calvin and his umpteenth girlfriend-whom-will-soon-be-replaced over. I dont want toys. I dont want gifts. I want happiness. And all these things which are done over and over each and every year DONT FUCKIN' DO IT. Im a nice person. I give presents willingly when there isnt an occasion to call for it. Im not needy, and Im not greedy. Im a very good person. It tears me up inside when christmas time rolls itself around and all of a sudden everyone is calling me a grinch. Or misanthropic. Or materialistic. Or scrooge. And they start telling me that I need to " lighten up " and " get into the spirit " - how the fuck can I get into the spirit when all it takes is for a holiday to make you my best friend? To make you buy me things? To make you be nice? To make you FINALLY have goodwill and tidings towards all men? Fuck you. I do believe in Christ and I do believe in his teachings - but I sure as hell dont believe in all the fabricated bullshit that comes along with : " OH YOU NEED TO BE HAPPY ON THIS SPECIFIC DAY " crap - You think I didnt buy things to " make a dent " in some coporation's plans? No, I didnt buy presents because I didnt deserve to buy them. I didnt buy presents because the people I was going to get them didnt deserve them. WHERE THE FUCK HAS THE CONCEPT OF BEING HUMBLE GONE? Oh fuck that lets flush it down a toilet and be happy.

I will show my goodwill towards men throughout the year.
It wont take a god-damned paid day off of work for me to be a nice person.

secondly.

WHAT THE FUCK? This is the way I am. I think. Its what I do. While everyone else was out drinking their alcohol and having their parties and going to football games and fucking their friends and playing in streets I was in the library or at home reading a book and thinking about life. Thinking about why I existed and the meaning to things. I THOUGHT about the things PEOPLE DID instead of DOING THEM. Now that Im reaching the point of my life where I have to do those things people continually tell me that all the conclusions Ive come to are fabricated and nothing more than " over thinking " and that I should " relax " and " take it easy " and " stop being so stupid " - well fuck you buddy. Sorry if I cannot live my life by the swing of every second and never stop to think " what does this mean? " - sorry that I think life has some greater intent, some higher purpose to it rather than " feeling good " or " being happy " - fuck you if I cant say something and instead of trying to LOGICALLY SHOOT ME DOWN on the same grounds you decide that " its higher and mighter " to say : " HUH HUH, I DONT CARE YOU IS STUPID STOP AND JUST SMOKE THIS JOINT AND RELAX DOOD " - FUCK YOU.

I DONT WANT A GOD DAMNED HUG.
I DONT WANT FUCKIN SYMPATHY.
I WANT TO STOP GETTING SCREWED BY MY GOD DAMNED "FRIENDS" EVERY FUCKING TURN I TAKE.
I WANT TO HAVE SOME SORT OF RESPECT FOR THE PEOPLE I KNOW AND FOR MYSELF.
I WANT TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT MY LIFE AND THE LIVES OF THOSE AROUND ME AND BE PROUD.
I WANT TO SIT DOWN AND HAVE DISCUSSIONS ABOUT THINGS THAT I BELIEVE MATTER BUT MAKE NO REAL DIFFERENCE.
I WANT TO BE COMPELLED TO LIVE LIFE RATHER THAN PASS IT BY WITH ELATION AND GOOD FEELING.
I WANT TO BE HAPPY AND HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE TO KNOW WHY I AM HAPPY AND UNDERSTAND WHERE THE HAPPINESS COMES FROM.

wrap that in a god damned box and put it under my tree.
fuck you.
and have a merry christmas.
Bah! Humbug.


Here's some holiday spirit for you:

Aaron, lick the sweat from my ball sack.

It wasn't mockery, just reality.


Fuck the holiday season. It's all a bunch commercialistic bullshit from one religion that controls the economy for no apparent reason. No more. It was never a huge deal until people started cashing in on it. The spirit and intentions of the season are dead.


CHRISTMAS
or a lack there - of


I'd like to wish you all a merry christmas. So I will do that now : Merry Christmas - but yet the words do not express much of anything to me anymore. I think the ending of this year marks my final descent into insanity. The final snap before the real havok begins. I do not know what the next year will bring - but I do know that it wont be pretty. I will move out. I will have my own place. I will let my eccentricies run wild - and most of all I will be happy. Happiness and insanity - for some damn reason, are the same thing for me. If I imagine myself to be in a good mood, then obviously I must have lost something in the wood-work. My idealogies have manifested themselves in a full-blown manner to which I cannot help but do anything. I just sit to the side and watch them grab the controls and say : " THIS IS HOW IT IS GOING TO BE, MOTHA FUCKA " - and so it is. Christmas, for example. I do not celebrate my birthday - in fact, I dont think birthdays should be celebrated. The birth of christ has, and it has been said so many times before that it isnt funny - become nothing more than an economic bump in corporations' plans for gathering money into their pockets. Christmas now starts the day after thanksgiving. I wanted to give people presents but I thought the presents would be empty inside. Just full of money and " I think this person wants this " - no real caring or real feeling attatched to them. I think that this lack of caring has also made people think that : " I should get what I want from these people this year because ( insert reason ) " - always wanting to want. To want want want want. I asked myself this year - or should I say that my father came in and asked : " what do you want for christmas? " - I ... thought about it. Nothing. I dont want anything, really. And I figured thats was it. I have totally lost it. The american idealogy of : "WANT WANT WANT WANT" had been erradicated. I just keep on going. So.

I hope that every one of you wants to get something for christmas.
I hope that every one of you gets what you want this christmas.
I hope that every one of you enjoys life and is happy with what comes.

just other ways of saying Merry Christmas.
Happy New Year.

I thought of trying to gather together poker night on christmas.
but I figured that would be blasphemy.

December 24, 2002

Okay, you can go to the airport dressed like that.

I'll follow behind dressed normally, and enjoy the show as you get to taste a rubber glove that took the long way up.

December 23, 2002

Games acquired :

NES GAMES
- Cyber Stadium Series Base Wars ( a game me and steven both highly remember being awesome, but remember nothing about )
- BLASTER MASTER ( c'mon, if you dont know, you aint no gamer )

COMPUTER GAMES
- Hegemonia Legions of Iron ( some RTS game that has been bugging me to buy it )

MOVIE GAMES
- ALL THREE BACK TO THE FUTURES
- Charly and the Chocolate Factory

also : as long as napster informs me, im ok.
although ill still bitch.
motherfucker.
but i dont mind really - unless its something im actively playing ( ie > mortal kombat )
then some heads would roll.
but people round these parts rarely play GTAVC any much.

anywho.
I gotta zip.


Carpe Carpe.

December 21, 2002

Carpe Noctem
Carpe Cerevisi
Carpe Spiritus

December 19, 2002

well james i think its my mom calling you if it was this morning at like 640 cuz she got onto my s/n and looked up your # on my list so yea sorry about that
WHO IN CHROIST'S NAME WITH THE RESTRICTED NUMBER IS CALLING ME?!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

December 17, 2002

my god its been so long since i could post from school but i can now and no one really cares but yeah ok when is the next poker night i would like to come up and play if there is an open spot so ill prolly come up to the collins house within the next week

blahhhhh!!!!!\
\stinky shit smells bad!!
Yeah... i really really really hate to say this but...

I don't think wednesday is gonna happen people...

I just realized, i have to run therapy today (i forget cause it's once a month and i didn't realize... it's been a month).

Add to that that this bird thing is kickin' my ass... and i still have to write two papers on it. Fuck.

However, i will be down for the weekend... that much i'm sure of. UGH> stupid BIRDS
later.

December 16, 2002

Not that the TT isn't an impressive car....it's just not a true sports car. As far as the eclipse....not with all the bad press Mitsu has been getting as of late. Too many problems that Mitsu just goes "Oh, really? Sucks to be you."

Hm...eggnog from the liquor store....yes, indeed....
Audi TT?
Yuppie-bait piece of Eurotrash.

Mid-life-crisis-mobile.

Not a sports car.
Life enjoys mocking me.
I found the car I desire - AN AUDI TT - sportscar, sweet.
oh. wait. today on the ride home this guy rides my ass - and Im like : FUCK YOU BUDDY! so I pull off to the right to let him speed by because I wasnt in a mood to deal with that shit - and what is he driving? An audi TT. ZOOM by he went, then got in front of me - " so he's going my way? " I thought to mysef, figuring it was a sportscar and he'd treat it like everyone treats sportscars - DRIVE IT SLOW AS FUCK. But no. not this guy. Him and I were zooming down 507 at seventy miles per hour before someone going SIXTY miles per hour went and got in his way. So whats he do? This sportscar driving audi TT man goes and passes the sixty-mile-per-hour car. It is EIGHT O CLOCK in the MORNING. The oncoming traffic is heavy. And you know what? He fuckin' pulls it off.

( drool )

In other news, the miata I tried to get from my mother's friends? Oh. yeah. They're selling it.
fuckers.

Also
- Jimmoi : posting pictures of animals has already been done by steve. you lose.
- Zacho : you enjoy buggery, you buggery enjoying baffoon.
- Anyone else : MORTAL KOMBAT DEADLY ALLIANCE IS FUN - eat shit and die.

and not to forget :
It seems that a lot of FUCKIN COMPUTER JERK-OFFS like to come by this site and then EMAIL ME because they're looking for a NEVERWINTER NIGHTS CD KEY GENERATOR - which took me FOREVER to find and they think that I am just going to HAND IT OVER TO THEM because they ask? >> politely - I should add. Well here is to you in the event you've come to this website looking for such :

FIND IT YOURSELF, ASS FUCK.
I DID THE WORK, YOU SHOULD TOO.
EAT A COCK.


yeah.

December 14, 2002

Oh... and as soon as they are in stock...

i'm planning on gettin' a 10GB iPod.

Sweet.
My computer is back.

They completely replaced the logic board and gave me a new hard drive... which means i'll be working on putting all my old files back onto this thing...

how funzo.

Once done, and this quarter is over... i think i'll be postin' more :).

Plus, i think i'm on the mend with regards to a really crappy start to this quarter. Heheh...

Late.r

December 13, 2002

Wow, another day with no posts.

I still remember the first one, and how everyone made a huge deal out of it....ah, good times.......

December 11, 2002

Micheal, you fucker!!! That was sooo not cool!

December 10, 2002

Aaron - That was michael. I was probably off in my quadrant getting new sheilds and stuff. If you want to do me a favor - say that I " recommended you " to E&B - in the startup screen say that " NOT MUD " got you in. Then I get a bonus. wheee.

Just for kicks : Andy's " away messge " today?

No. Fuck you and piss off


yeah.
because we all know that I was the catalyst and it was me who should have apoligized.
( cough )

doobie do. J.D. just called me. woke me up. wow. he sounds different.
blewis212@charter.net, the idiot, is at it again - but he's trying to be sly now.

his latest attempt actually included my user-name ( for here ) NOT MUD in the subject line.
let me clue you in on something buddy -
I've set up a filter system that says : " hey look this email is from blewis212@charter.net "
and then after it does that it automatically marks whatever the fuck you sent me with " read already " status.
then it moves it to the trash folder, which is deleted soon after.

Are you DAFT? get a new email address why dont you? CHROIST.
I dont trust MY FAMILY, My ASSOCIATES or My FRIENDS enough to run a program they send me.
you think Im going to trust you?

December 09, 2002

I'd say you could borrow mine.
but ( no offence here ) - I seriously dont trust you to " pick me up " at seven in the morning.

I vaguely recall " picking people up " to be one of those " low priority " activities ;b
God damnit.
I CANNOT find SUPER VOLLEY BALL - i found SUPER SPIKE V'BALL which IS NOT what I am looking for.
I found SUPER DODGE BALL which features the same guys as the volleyball game IM looking for :|

ARGH.

also - anyone have an old nintendo they want to let go of for - ... oh ... five dollars? maybe free?
It amazes me that this board is still up and running.
It amazes me that I still maintain TZA within my mentality and idealogy.

Life is amazing.
However, people are not.
People are boring. People are carbon-copies of eachother. People are uninteresting. People are slow.

I've tried to " come onto " three different women.
My attempts so far have been under the following program : " Jesse's sister thought I was hitting on her, so just do to the women what I did to her "
the real question arises : " Well what did I do to Jesse's sister? " - and I think to myself : I was nice to her?

Heh.

So I put dating on the backburner for now.
Im going to look into college.
and the more I think about it - the more moving out to Dennis' place ( I get my own room for 130 and get to live with his non-english speaking 28 year old brother ) - however that would leave my home-dawgs ( steve / zacho ... uh ... yeah ) out and dry in the event they ever consider me " living-with " material. Unfortunately neither of them have the supportive cash to be considerable options for me. Anywho.

Oh.
Here is something for you :


Good places to pick up girls :
1.
Sunday, Noon, Grocery Store
2.
Community College, Photography Class


There you go.
Oh, oh! Which picture was it? and did I look hot?

Okay - forget that - did I at least have clothes on?

December 08, 2002

People move.

Now - ladies and gentlemen, if you have friday the thirteenth off of work - you wont die.
because friday the thirteenth is a unlucky day ( I had nothing planned )

hee hee.

December 05, 2002

Note : Do not play Earth & Beyond.

And : If you have work - get out of it on FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH.

Why? Just email me if 1. you got the day off or 2. you're not busy.

December 03, 2002

Some time ago, I invented a new drink. As I have found no mention of anything even close to it anywhere I've looked, I'm pretty sure it's original. So I had a hell of a time naming it (because, as you may well know, a drink isn't official until named). Until, one day, it came to me. "Jimmoi's Blunder." It's quite good, and for anyone who wants, the recipe follows:


Jimmoi's Blunder

In a Collins glass (love the irony) 3/4 of the way full of ice, add the following
1 to 1 1/2 shot Jagermeister (adjust to taste)
1 to 1 1/2 shot Amaretto (adjust to taste)
1 shot apple cider (or apple juice)
Fill with 7-up or sprite.

The best part is that you can't tell it has three shots of alcohol in it until you try to stand up.
dialogue at work :

James: " Hey Joe - Question for ya : What does a Teacher do? "
Joe: " Thats pretty self explanitory, isnt it? "
James: " Humor me. "
Joe: " He teaches, so whats your point? "
James: " And what does a preacher do? "
Joe: " Preaches, so what are you trying to get at? "
James: " Ok - so we've established that. So what do you call someone who makes you think? "

Goes away for awhile, ... comes back and answers with :

Joe: " A psyciatrist. "
James: " Naah, how do you figure? They help you with your problems, not make you think. "
Joe: " Well a psyciatrist doesnt give you the answers to your problems - they make you think about them and help you think about your problems so that you can solve them on your own. They just help you think through things "

At this point I saw Joe's logic.
It made sense, but it wasnt what I was looking for - so I called Dennis over.
I asked him what a Teacher/Preache did, then hit him with the " What do you call a person who makes you think? " question.
He responded with :

Dennis : " James Collins! "
James : " No, seriously. "

Goes away - comes back some later time


Dennis : " A sales person. Because they make you think you want to buy some things. "
James: " No, that doesnt work because a Sales person sells you things, sure he makes you think - but what do you call a person who primarily makes you think? "
Dennis: " How about an Operator's Assistant? I make Joe think. "
( Dennis is my B-person, Joe is the A-person, I am a C-person. Operator, Assistant, Helper, respectively )
James : " No, An operator's assistant assists an operator. "

Goes away for awhile - comes back



Dennis : " A philosopher. "
James : " Auuuugh! *CRINGES in horror* "

--------------------------------
To explain why I put up some work dialogue.
I had thought to myself how much I wanted to be a teacher - but upon furthing thinking ... I dont want to be a Teacher.
I want to be something better than a Teacher.

You see - Teachers tell you what is right, what is wrong. How exactly something should be done.
I dont want to show anyone how to do anything - because frankly I dont know everything and there are always some other person out there with a better way of doing something than me - or who knows something more about a subject than I.
I want to make people think.
So - I tried to figure out what sort of profession that would be.

What does a teacher do? I asked myself. A teacher teaches.
What does a preacher do? He preaches.

But then what do you call someone who makes people think?

I couldnt figure it out.

Dennis, sadly - hit the nail on the head.
but do philosophers get paid and is that a profession?

( insert doubt here )

December 02, 2002

THE RETURN OF BLEWIS212

this guy is really funny.
so I check my email today :


To : notmud@loose-slugs.com
From : dailyoffice-suscribe
Subject : Top.showLog


and this one didnt have text.
and two attatchements, an .exe file and this time an .html file.
Lo-and-behold I go to the details and :


Return-Path:
Received: from dc-mx12.cluster1.charter.net (dc-mx12.cluster1.charter.net [209.225.8.22])
by lsh113.siteprotect.com (8.9.3/8.9.3) with ESMTP id AAA24710
for ; Mon, 2 Dec 2002 00:32:01 -0600
Received: from [24.216.100.37] (HELO Zkl)
by dc-mx12.cluster1.charter.net (CommuniGate Pro SMTP 3.5.9)
with SMTP id 49909719 for notmud@loose-slugs.com; Mon, 02 Dec 2002 01:31:25 -0500
From: dailyoffice-suscribe
To: notmud@loose-slugs.com
Subject: Top.showLog
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/alternative;
boundary=X2w8baIk63970GY1427D8
Date: Mon, 02 Dec 2002 01:31:25 -0500
Message-ID:


so...

I go to google and look up Blewis212@charter.net to see what I could see.
I got nothing.

hum.

December 01, 2002

I get an email.
It is as follows :

To : notmud@loose-slugs.com
From : postmaster
Subject : Returned mail --"sos!"

The following mail can't be sent to billjo@peoplepc.com:

From: notmud@loose-slugs.com
To: billjo@peoplepc.com
Subject: sos!
The attachment is the original mail


and I laughed.
Because attatched were the two files :

26[1].exe (88.4 kb) & 26[1].jpg (35.4 kb)


Then I went to properties to see who had sent the dilly :



Return-Path:
Received: from dc-mx12.cluster1.charter.net (dc-mx12.cluster1.charter.net [209.225.8.22])
by lsh113.siteprotect.com (8.9.3/8.9.3) with ESMTP id IAA02312
for ; Sun, 1 Dec 2002 08:31:31 -0600
Received: from [24.216.100.37] (HELO Keiyx)
by dc-mx12.cluster1.charter.net (CommuniGate Pro SMTP 3.5.9)
with SMTP id 49699428 for notmud@loose-slugs.com; Sun, 01 Dec 2002 09:31:01 -0500
From: postmaster
To: notmud@loose-slugs.com
Subject: Returned mail--"sos!"
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/alternative;
boundary=PS19S32kH2TK4vZ1p4608PaEqqp
Date: Sun, 01 Dec 2002 09:31:01 -0500
Message-ID:


So.
If you know anyone who knows anything about " fux0ring " people online :
give ol blewis212@charter.net a good time.

Because all my " leet hax0r " friends I lost contact with and got out of the hax0ring scene.
pfwar.

Or - if you dont know anything about hax0ring people,
next time you feel like putting someone's email in a CRUSHLINK address or a PORNOSITE
there ya go.
ex-freaking-actly.

That whole "I'm getting paid right now...for doing nothing" kicks serious ass.