April 28, 2004

a guy picks up his phone to make a call
and finds a couple on the other end talking to eachother.
he can hear them, they cant hear him.

he records the entirety of the conversation.
and adds one more brick to my wall of misogynistic belief that all women are whores.

what you say?
you want to hear the conversation yourself?
well lucky you : http://loose-slugs.com/breakup/

April 27, 2004

Jeff - why did you thank me of all people?

I've done nothing to help you make yourself a better person.
Unless you call constant insulting and ridiculing you help.
In that case I'm a gaw-damn alturist.

( on that note i found your book on alturism by the way )

And Steve - IRC is for fags. hahahahaha.

April 26, 2004

Hooray, jeff! I'm so proud of you! Even your title sounds interesting. Hey, when you get more established at your work, can I come visit you? I think it would be totally cool...I love visiting people at work and going to lunch and talking about work even though...I don't work right now and I'm so freaking happy about that. THis is the first time in my life where I've had nothing to do and dont have to work and it's wonderful.

So, the other night I went to a party that these guys I met and they seemed pretty cool and one was australian and totally hot....great combo, so i went and it's a REALLY long story that i could type, but i'm too lazy and i'll do it tomorrow, but anyway, they turned out to be RAMTHA FOLLOWERS!!!, but by the time i found out i was too drunk to drive and i was freaking out. I can think about it now and laugh because I'm still alive and i wasn't raped or probed or anything, but it was a VERY DANGEROUS SITUATION.
.::Quit::. hammer (me@klwn02m03-205.bctel.ca) (Quit: Rape is not a sexual crime. It's an act of violence. Except you cum. It's no different than armed robbery, if you came. And it's the same any stabbing, where you cum.)

Whereas -- this was partially correct -- The rest of it was full of so much flaming ignorance I just couldn't help but share it with y'all.

What do you all think of the xB?
And so it came to pass...
That the first slug got a.....foot....thing.....in the right direction towards that which most of society would call "Success."

Can't help but wonder how long, if ever, it will be until another follows suit.
Guess what kiddies?

Uncle Jeff got a job at the VA!

Damn it took a long time. The application process first started in January... but it's official now. The guy who interviewed me called and told me that they were offering me the position if I wanted it. So I said yes.

Officially, I will be a "Research Health Science Specialist".

Fuckin' sweet.

More than that, I will be making enough money to do fun things again. Which means = Paintball.

So now, I'd like to say thanks for all the help you guys gave me during the process.

Mostly, Bradbury and Collins.

Yeeup. So when the big paychecks start coming in, I figure I'm coming down there and we are doing something involving alcohol.

And I'm finally gonna get myself a computer and a camera and finish up the DVD, cause now i can just fund it myself.


April 24, 2004

Ok first off:

Never fuck around with braking systems. Absolute most critical part of a car. Never, ever, ever allow brakes to be unsafe. Period. If the reservoir was empty when you added fluid, that means there's air in the lines now. Air compresses, brake fluid doesn't. Brakes don't work well (or at all in some cases) with air in the lines. You probably just need to bleed them now.


Bonnie is right. You can get a lot of car for $4000. Take it from somebody who's been $30k in debt because of cars a lot recently: Don't owe money if you don't need to. It sucks. Really, really sucks. Running over people sucks too. Personal experience speaking there. In fact, running over people sucks worse than owing people money. In fact, it can lead to (court mandated) owing money. ugh.


I spent all fucking day today trying to get out of aforementioned vehicle-related debt. That sucks too. It seems like a pretty simple idea, but nooooooooo doesn't work out that way. The dealers that have the (much cheaper) car I want - won't give me jack shit for mine.

"$18,500? What the fuck are you smoking buddy? You've got an older, beat up one that you're asking 26 for. What do you think I'm fucking blind?"
"18,5 is book."
"You can sell it for 26, what the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Well, ...blah blah blah... not making any money ...blah blah blah..." (this is when I decide I should leave, before I rip the little fucker limb for limb and beat the manager with his bloody torso.)


"Well, we can get you that '99 and your payments will be $290"
"I don't want a '99. I want an early nineties."
"We can give you a better vehicle ...blah blah blah...."
"I'm trying to get out of debt, dillweed. Didn't you hear me? I don't want to pay $290 for the next decade."
"This is the owner, maybe he can work this out."
"You don't have what I want"
"Blah blah blah"

My favorite of the day:

"This thing's beat to shit. I'm not giving you five grand for it."
"Well, fourteen year old ...blah blah... not making any money ...blah blah..."
"Okay, bye."
"Well, what would make you happy?"
"Try three."
"Hah hah, find one for three."
"Won't be hard as thrashed as that one is."
"Well good luck!"
"Thanks, bye."
"How about $4,500?"
"How about three?"
"I can go $4,150."
"Good for you. Maybe it'll be three grand after it sits on your lot another month. Bye."

I fucking hate car dealers.

*Most of the wittier comebacks I only thought. Evidently maturity means keeping the smartass comments to yourself.
Yes, they were old midgets, jeff. And I'm not saying aaron should go buy a BMW, all I'm saying is that paying to fix a car that is shit anyway is just dumb. Plus, you can buy an incredibly decent car for under $5000 and make very decent payments. You can talk sales people into almost anything. They just want to sale the car.

And so what if I quit my job? I HATED THE JOB and I will not be one of those people who just works for the money but hate their job and are sad all the time because they have to go to work. I REFUSE TO GET SUCKED IN WITH EVERYONE ELSE AND JUST WORK AT A JOB I HATE FOR THE MONEY! It makes youbitter if you have to do the things you hate every day. I'mgoing to the gym. Don't ever disagree with me again, jeff. Or I'll kill you and then steal your lip gloss.
Actually, I would think that if you hit a tree or a person or whatever, and you die, it wouldn't really suck to be you. It would be far worse if you hit all those things, and live. And lose a leg. That would suck. Then it would suck to be you.

Otherwise Bonnie is wrong.

And, I don't see how Steve's advice is bad. Don't buy a decent car as soon as you save up enough for it? I wouldn't buy one until I have more than JUST ENOUGH for it, cause shit happens... and even decent cars can need money.

Maybe I just read it wrong.

And what was so wrong with the gardening people? Were they midgets? I always imagine gardeners to be midgets or old people. Was it either of those?

I need a vacation. When I save up enough money, I'm taking some of us and we are going somewhere...

In fact... maybe I'll do that thing I planned long ago, back in high school, and go visit Texas... where I used to live. I remember talking to James about that once... doing a road trip or whatever.

If that ever happens, who would be up for it?
Hey Aaron, maybe God is pissed at you for worshipping a false god, or goddess, in your case. Just saying. Anyway, I think Steve's advice sucks. If you manage your money well enough I think you should definitely be able to get a decent car. I mean, I'd much rather have a car that I trust rather than a car that has brakes that aren't dependable. Imagine this...your driving along delivering pizza lalalala...all of the sudden your brakes go out. You run into a tree or some people or another car or a building or all four of those things and you die. Sucks to be you, AND some person will never get their pizza. Bummer on two accounts.
Aaron -- be careful.
Your car troubles sound identical to what happened to me, which is why I've had financial problems for so long. Buying cars, fixing cars, etc...
If something goes wrong - just fix it, find somebody to help ya fix it yourself if ya can. Cheaper.
And even when ya save enough money for a decent car, don't get one. Not until that one is unsalvageable.

April 23, 2004

I hate cars.

My brakes stopped working tonight. I don't know why. I tried putting in some brake fluid but that didn't really seem to help. There might be special rules to putting in brake fluid that I don't know about though, so who knows. All I really wanted was for this god damn car to last long enough for me to save up some money for a down payment on a decent car. Not a piece of shit like I've bought the last two times. But NO, God hates me and so now, just when I started to break even and next paycheck could be saved, the car has a problem again.

Anyway, Bradbury, as a side note, if you'd like to make another stop and just give me a diagnosis if possible, I will gladly repay you with food or a movie or whatever again. Just give me a call at 904-8167. Maybe I could just buy you some liqour or something. I don't work until 5 the next two days, so I'll be home anytime before that.

Pre-emptive thanks.
Um... jEFF, Paul Walker was in Joy Ride and That Shitty Car Movie That I Won't Name, too.

I actually kinda liked Joy Ride. Probably because the whole time I was hoping they'd kill off Paul Walker. Of course, I was drunk when I watched it, so...

The previews for the CORE looked so shitty, I never bothered to see it. While Jeepers Creepers sucked, at least it wasn't insulting. The entire idea behind the CORE seemed so crappy, I just figured it was written by a third grader.

But Steven is right. Jeepers had potential. Sound concept, extremely poor execution.

I also never saw Timeline. Really liked the book, but when I saw the movie was going to have Paul Walker - that just killed it. That feeling of "Oh boy are they gonna fuck that up."

And on the subject of porn. Strange thing, but I also agree with JC. I've never been much for the nekkid chick desktop though. Not that I don't like it. I think I just like it too much. End up staring at the blank desktop and getting nothing done. Plus, I often connect to my home machine from work. Don't really want to have that conversation with the boss.

Right now my desktop is a picture I took in a neon shop at night when I was really drunk. Don't remember doing so, but it looks badass. Anyway, got some gin to drink.

Tomorrow I'm selling my truck.
I had forgotten about that spawn of Satan...

another instance of my mind shutting it out to preserve what little sanity I have.

Obviously Crossroads, the Britney Spears movie that Steve was indirectly referring to, is a definite CORE - though some would argue that it had a redeeming feature with Britney Spears jumping up and down on her bed in just her bra and panties...

Another movie that stole a part of my soul.
Scared the shit out of me too.
The fact that something that horrible could make it through production is just....a very scary thought.

Next thing you know, Britney Spears will be making a movie.
Shoot me.
Jeepers Creepers scared the shit out of me. I think it's because I live in the middle of nowhere and to get home I have to drive through fields and such and HE COULD BE HIDING ANYWHERE! Especially because it's the month of April and such. It scared me. And I had that horrible song stuck in my head for days, and now that I've thought about it, it's stuck in my head again "jeepers creepers, where'd you get those peepers"
I have drill this weekend. Sonofabitch. And I quit my job after a week. I'm dumb.

April 22, 2004

Actually I do have to agree to a certain extent with you about the whoel pornography thing, James. Which....I'm having trouble coping with. (The agreeing with you part, not the topic itself)
But I do believe "softcore" has it's place as well. I'd much rather have a desktop background of a softcore pic than let's say.....a tree. Of course that's simply because I have a thing for aesthetics that has a tendency to make people think I'm gay. But that's another story.
The rest of your post though, was downright entertaining -- I see no reason why it should be a reason to not post. /shrug/

Yes, Jeepers Creepers had potential. Quite a bit, actually....had they not used EVERY BAD SCARY MOVIE CLICHE KNOWN TO MANKIND in it.
Which is, in my opinion...what could make it worse than The Core. You said yourself it didn't even have potential....well, atleast they didn't have anything to screw up.
It's like alchemy, I guess. Can't turn shit into gold in real life. With Jeepers Creepers, however, they somehow turned gold into shit. And that is sad.

I had forgotten about Jeepers Creepers...

but then I had also forgotten about Joy Ride. And Timeline.

And i realized, i forgot about those to for mental-survival reasons. Just as I'm sure that I'll forget about THE CORE.

Though you are right, Jeepers Creepers did suck.

But I would have to say, Steve, that there is a line that separates Jeepers Creepers and THE CORE. That line would be that at least Jeepers Creepers had some... be it limited, but some potential. I actually liked the opening sequence. The whole driving on a deserted road. That's actually realistically a little unsettling.

Of course, from that point on, the movie pretty much sucked. Especially the part where they run it over, and then the "Creeper" grows wings. Yeah... disappointed.

THE CORE however, that was just a sucky idea from start to finish... from the moment it was dreamed up in the corner of some person's over-ritalined mind to the moment it was unleashed without warning on the mass populus.

In addition... THE CORE took itself seriously. You know they did. They spent money on special effects. They spent money on advertising. They made "behind the scenes: making THE CORE" specials. That's just disturbing.

So from now on, i have decided to make my own rating list and base every single other movie on it. This movie rating system will place movies against THE CORE. (Now obviously this means that I will only use this rating system on movies that aren't too... spectacular.)

For example:

There will be three levels, broken down as follows: Crust,Mantle, CORE!

That's right. CORE obviously being a crapfest as bad as THE CORE.

So by my estimates, I would say that Jeepers Creepers was a Mantle. Joy Ride is a Mantle. Actually... hmm, i don't remember that crap too well, so it could have be a CORE.

Fast and the Furious - that's more on the fringes of suck. I never thought i would say this, but there were some... slight redeeming qualities of the movie in some way... So Fast and the Furious would be a Crust.

Timeline... oh my fuck. That was a definite CORE. I won't get into that just yet, because I'm still full of rage and disgust at that movie and at PAUL WALKER. That fucker stole two hours of my life... hours i will never get back.

So yeah...

And Mr. Collins, I wasn't saying you were gay... quite the opposite. I was saying you would never be gay... that was more a defense than anything.

You would be gay if you said you liked TIMELINE... but I know that won't happen. Cause if you did... well then I'd kill you.
So jeff is talking about movies and taking jabs at my sexuality. Sure we can all bitch about movies, and me and jimmoi can talk about directors and jimmoi can specifically talk about things I have no idea about but enjoy nodding my head and saying : " oh dag i didn't know that " - mostly because I don't call bullshit on him when it's movie related. But reguardless, Jeff taking cheap shots at calling me homo?

For shame, Jeff.
For shame.

but let's talk about something else, for I am the superior being here and will not stoop so low as to get into a name calling game with someone lower than I. Let's talk about andyism in movies and games.

What is andyism?

Andyism is whatever reminds me of Andy. This consists of two things :
1. a pathetic clinging to 'honor' and 'real men' - you know. Chivalry.
2. glorification of females. more specifically, playboy.
For long I figured that between him and I, he was the odd one. The one out of place with society.
Staying at home for prolonged periods of time, cybersex with women he's never met, infatuation and making up fiction in his own head, reading dragonlance novels and reminiscing about the times he use to be so cool with his D&D group. For a long time I figured: " You know what? That's just wrong. "

But if you take a look at today's " entertainment " you'll find that I am obviously wrong.

Firstly, we have KING ARTHUR
You all thought King Arthur was just some myth but no no no! It was based on a real man! with real feelings! who lived long ago in a suit of armor! and fought people! and loved women! and had honor! and rode around on a horse! and yelled a lot about freedom! i should have emphasised that 'yelled' bit. here. and yelled a lot about freedom! there, much better.

Granted its a Jerry Bruckheimer production - so expect it to look good - but if you notice the cast they all seem to be a bunch of unknown "no names" - or at least people I don't recognize. While I support this, it makes you wonder, oh man king arthur why didn't some big names get in on this shit. Most likely because they're all sucked up into TROY. Another movie where people get dressed up in armor and yell a lot about freedom and love and all that shit.

With a tagline like " RULE YOUR DESTINY " and " RULE YOUR FATE " and " RULE YOUR LIFE WITH YOUR MOMMY DOING YOUR LAUNDRY " - you know this is the movie for those who live in their parent's basement and jerk it to webcams of sixteen year olds who live across the country from them

But wait. It infects my beloved games, as well.
I present to you PLAYBOY : THE MANSION.
After seeing this I just about decided to kill myself, the proper way - down the vein not across. Here is the tagline, for those of you too fucking lazy to click on the god damned link I've provided you :

The Women you desire
The Lifestyle you aspire to
A Mansion where it all happens

what. the. fuck. This is what I'm talking about. The bullshit people can come up with. Who has playboy magazine anymore? Magazines are out of date. I have two free subscriptions to Maxim mostly because the articles they have in there aren't all full of " SHE ENJOYS WALKS ON THE BEACHES AND TAPIOCA PUDDING " - So that just writes it out for fucking reading material on the can. And pornography? Dude the internet has warped my perception of women so much to the extent that I don't find a woman attractive unless she's getting penetrated by something not just lazing around with a thin piece of cloth over her breasts smiling at me and batting her eyes. She better be fucking wearing knee-highs, mary janes, being bent over and getting fucked like none other. Thats pornography.

Playboy, and subsequently this game, are for fucking losers who can't get women. I don't make any pretense, I admit I have social dystfunction with women so much that I've given up and become a misogynist. What I don't do is oogle over oiled up women who dress up in ' sets ' - the only set i need is a bench or couch of some sort for them to be bent over. Fuck all that bullshit " the female form is the most beautiful - blah blah blah " - more like get on your knees for the money shot, bitch. And here you'd think that I was in the right. That by cutting away all the bullshit, and cutting to the bone ( haha ) - that I'd be in touch with society.

But no. Women still stick to the princess bullshit, want to be worshipped and adored. Have doors opened for them and treated like special little faeries from faery land - who believe in true love and love at first sight and that they'll marry a man who'll read playboy and cover them in oil and just " appreciate " them for who they are.

Welcome to the reason I don't post anymore.
As this has made absolutely no sense, whatsoever.

But boy, do I bitch a lot.

April 21, 2004

Speaking of bad movies....

Aaron asked me a while back what I thought was the worst movie of all time. Atleast I think it was Aaron.

I keep thinking about it, but forgetting to mention it.
Jeff just 'jump started' my brain.

Jeepers Creepers.

Now, granted -- JC 2 was probably infinitely worse, but I couldn't stomach the thought of not only spending money on the follow-up of such a horrible sequel...but I'd feel stupid for spending 2 hours watching it.
I'd like to stop and talk about movies...

Especially since that topic often sparks up heated debate between everyone about what is and isn't a good movie... with Jimmy and James usually taking flak for being overly critical or snobbish about movies...

But there is one movie i have in mind that absolutely... well it sucked.

That movie was: THE CORE.

That's right. The movie about drilling to the very center of the Earth to "jump start the core".

"Jump Start The Core" - now you know a movie is going to suck when that phrase is used in it.

Actually, you know a movie is going to suck when you hear that some jackass has decided to try to make a dramatic movie about a group of people sitting what is essentially a tube of metal drilling their way to the center of the Earth. I mean, c'mon! How can you make that dramatic and interesting? I've sat through family road-trips that were more interesting, and all I did was read a book and question why I was born to a father who thinks that Steven Seagal is a fucking great actor.

(He's my father and I have respect for him in that way... but STEVEN SEAGAL?!?!)

So anyway, the movie starts out with random natural disasters taking place... like people with pacemakers just up and dying... and birds going nuts and flying into people, causing havoc and car crashes. (I think that THE CORE was trying to explain the whole Hitchcock movie...)

Enter brilliant professor guy. He basically explains through the use of formulas and physics theories that the Earth's core has stopped rotating. To demonstrate, he takes a peach, cuts it up and begins explaining that the Earth has three layers.

I FUCKING LEARNED THIS IN SECOND GRADE JACK-ASS! But apparently the top heads of the government don't know that. They think the Earth is made of Cheese. Cream Cheese.

He then takes another peace, sticks a fork in it, then holds a spray can next to it. He lights the spray from the can and burns the Earth. His words, "This is what will happen in three months."

This was his great demonstration. A professor at a prestigious university with state of the art labs... and he couldn't even put together a fucking computer simulation model? Fuck, even a powerpoint would have been better.

So then, the military and Mr. Professor get together and visit this smart black guy in the desert who has designed a special sonic laser thing that can drill through almost anything. Yeah, a solution on how to get to the Core!

Remember how I said through almost anything... Well, this smart black guy also invented a new type of metal he calls "Unobtainium". That's right. UNOBTAINIUM. This stuff is so powerful, that the more stress you apply to it, the stronger it becomes. (Strangely, I don't have that much issue with this, because I actually remember reading that in theory that might be possible. Something about lattice structures and such. Ask Rigney, I'm sure he'd know more about it than I.) It's more the name. What the fuck is up with the name. If i envented some new material that could pretty much withstand ANYTHING, I wouldn't make up some lame ass name like that.

So anyway, they build their drill, and begin their decent into the Earth.

Now while this is going on, I'm wondering, what the fuck are they going to do to make the movie dramatic? It's a straight trip to the Earth.

Well, don't fret, Hollywood and Stupid Ideas to the rescue. First the hand-picked team falls into a Geode, in the mantle of the Earth. Right. Then, as they are drilling/propelling through lava, they encounter diamonds. Giant Diamonds. So as they steer away, the ship gets cut and another person dies. Two fuckers down.

Then as they get to the Core, they realize, the Core isn't like they though and they don't have enough nuclear power to JUMP START THE CORE! But then, they figure out a way to do it anyway, while trying to do so before the people on the crust (and for those of you who are Heads of the Government, that's that uppermost layer with the grass and trees and cows), decide to create an Earthquake in the Core using a sophisticated sonic thingie, which they had all along, but that will only make the problem worse.

To set off the nukes, one of the four remaining people must go into a superheated part of the ship to open up the bulkheads... because when designing a ship, you must always make one part of the ship a fucking DEATH TRAP that guarantees someone will DIE. Another one bites the dust.

Three people left, and they start sending off the nukes. Well, that's one fate plays a game and has one man trapped under a fallen nuke. Hahah bitch, you weren't the love interest so you know you had to die.

So guess what, that leaves only two people left. And by now i'm sure you all know which two are left... the girl and the guy. It's always the girl and the guy. And they make it out in the most impossible of ways. Propelled out a fissure in the Earth, all without the use of a drill, because it was damaged.

This movie was Armaggedon all over again, right down to those little events that made the job just that more difficult. It even had the people on the Earth trying to do a Plan B that wouldn't work anyway.

Now... don't get me wrong, I'm all for mindless fun movies. I enjoyed the Rundown. And even the first Mummy. They were dumb, and required no thought, but they were fun.

This movie? It was an Armaggedon ripoff with a worse cast. At least Armaggedon had Steve Buscemi and Bruce Willis.

It would have been fun to see The Rock in this movie, perhaps as the Professor. He could jump out of the vessel when they were in the Core and Punch Start the Core!

Who wouldn't go see that?

There is a line people... between good no-brainer action, and stupid shit that you can scrape off your shoe. Take a guess as to which this one was.
Yes Rigney is still alive.
Invited me to his birthday party last week, couldn't go.

I volunteer to die first...since it'll prolly happen anyway =
Well, unless Jimmoi is sent to Iraq...I don't give him 5 minutes.

April 20, 2004

You know...

you get to thinking about things on some days...

and i was thinking about all the various things that have happened to the people on this board... from jOe getting a lapdance to James getting examined by doctors and realizing that being gay really wasn't for him... to Andy and poker and Steve jumping down flights of stairs... to Heather going crazy, again and me driving into a ditch and kicking my lights out...

and as i thought about this, a grim thought popped into my head.

No one has died yet.

I mean we all have people in our own personal lives that have died... like my grandfather, or jimmy's... hmm, i'm pretty sure someone in jimmy's family died...

but i mean, none of us have died.

Now, I'm not trying to be down or depressed or anything like that. It was just merely an observation. I suppose it's probably because we are all young and whatnot... but still, i was just thinking...

Unless I'm wrong of course, and someone in the group, or the group that i remember (i'm thinking of the group that was around the time of James' barbeque - which seems to be the defining moment of the group) has actually died.

But no one that I can think of. Even Rigney's still alive. Right?

I wonder who will die first. My money's on... hmmm... actually I haven't figured that one out.

I'll get back to you all on that.

April 16, 2004

Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude

My life is now complete.
And I didn't even need a mail order bride from Ukraine.

April 15, 2004

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I have recently turned 23. Here is but a sample of my life:


So, it would be so nice to hear from you.
I am looking for my future soul mate all over the world.
The reason of it is the fact that I have been hurt before
in the relations with the men from my country.
So I decided to take a chance abroad.
So, would you reply to me?
You can find some information about me at
my webpage http://ljYWE2.girlspage.org/olga_b/

See you later

Doesn't it make you just want to cry. Or maybe kill gophers?

April 09, 2004

I love how we depict the industry as an organism that molds and mutates around the next trend like a mutating virus seeking a new host.
How could you tell that the fanbase that Nirvana had, listened to hair metal?

You can't, but when any one group or style has that huge of a following, the industry is going to take notice, and switch gears.

The problem is, there are too many fillers. Too many makeshift bands are out there making thoughtless music.

Exactly. That's my point. You get five Linkon Parks to one.... Shit, I can't even come up with a group that really shines right now. Perhaps CCR? Older stuff, but still good.
How could you tell that the fanbase that Nirvana had, listened to hair metal? They could have listened to Country prior and suddenly said, "Holy shit, this Nirvana band is pretty swanky. Screw this country stuff, Nirvana is rad."

what's wrong with the fucking intro, verse, bridge, chorus, verse, "solo," bridge, chorus, outro structure? Rock and roll has been doing it for decades.

that's just it-- It had been doing it for decades. We've also been burning fossil fuels for quite sometime now. Does that mean it is the best thing ever? hardly. I have a problem with this structure, mainly because it's antiquated and perversely unoriginal. Anyone who can pick up a guitar - or hell, even a computer - can program or play this. Why? Because it's simple and easy to understand. Never will complex song structures as in Classical Indian music ever appear in the mainstream music scene of America. Why? Because people do not want 11/4 66 note tonal music. Change is bad to the masses, esspecially in music.

There has to be filler somewhere, and a lot of the fucking filler is decent music.

The problem is, there are too many fillers. Too many makeshift bands are out there making thoughtless music.

April 08, 2004


At least I was able to get a fucking response.

You answered your own fucking question. Nirvana had a huge fucking fan base. That base consisted of a lot of people that did or would have listened to fucking hair metal. Of course, it could be pointed out that this happens every generation, the old style fades into the background for something fucking else. Certainly fucking happened to the early 90's rock. Either fucking way. {opinion}Hair metal fucking sucked worse than Nirvana.{/opinion}

So I fucking ask you: what's wrong with the fucking intro, verse, bridge, chorus, verse, "solo," bridge, chorus, outro structure? Rock and roll has been doing it for decades.

Not everything in life has to be fucking complicated. It's still entertaining, for fuck's sake. If every goddamn song were a musical fucking masterpiece, the good stuff wouldn't shine. There has to be filler somewhere, and a lot of the fucking filler is decent music. I'll revert back into my fucking comfort zone here for a final thought: If there weren't Geos and a million poorly fucking riced-out Civics, a '32 Ford roadster wouldn't stand out. Somebody has to fucking make the rest of us look good.

I ask, how did Nirvana get rid of hairbands?
As I try and make sense of this statement, the lack of any reasoning behind it makes me fall into a muddy puddle of shit. Now, I agree with Aaron 100% on this one in his "They're only the best because they're dead" post.

My theory behind this is-- Nirvana: contributed nothing to music, had absolutely no musical talent, had lyrics that could only be topped by what Skinny Puppy had to offer, did not birth grunge but merely wrote songs that were so simple, people didn't have to think about them [i.e. - common people enjoy simple things: Simple action movies, simple 4/4 music with straight forward, easy to understand lyrics], and from Nirvana, Kur Cobane, only had a fanbase with the junkies of the grunge scene, but once he died, everyone got into the band.

Where people get confused with Nirvana's contribution to music is when they see the scene, and they think that contributing to music is the same as changing a social structure. Just as Tupac brought forth a more ganster, thug culture; although he did make this change, his contribution to music was moot. The same can be said for Venetian Snares and the IDM community. Aaron Funk is a tall canadian in Winnipeg, Manitoba that is now the poster boy for all IDM. Just like the singer-songwriter form of Cobane's musical catastrophies, if you add a mean snare-rush with some ring modulation into a song, you're automatically linked to a similar artist under VSnares. He is not the best IDM artist and never will be; but he made himself known, and is now what the people see as IDM. The people [i.e. society, media, etc.] see Nirvana as The grunge band. All of the previously stated artists did not change music, but only became the poster-boys through their own means.

Two of my topics can be merged, so "had absolutely no musical talent" and "did not birth grunge but merely wrote songs that were so simple, people didn't have to think about them [i.e. - common people enjoy simple things: Simple action movies, simple 4/4 music with straight forward, easy to understand lyrics]" will now become one.

If you have any knowledge of music theory, the statement "Nirvana had no musical talent" should ring true. Though, if you just want to defend your personal favorite band, you'll say they they do, but have nothing to defend yourself with. The structure of a Nirvana song is simple; likewise, it can be easily understood, and people can move easily to it [or sway]. There isn't a Nirvana track that defies music, breaks away from standards, or simplstic chords. Powerchords ran the fucking tracks, and 4 note chord progressions and possible detuning [drop D, wow] can easily be detected. The songs ran on the intro, verse, bridge, chorus, verse, "solo," bridge, chorus, outro structure.

So why did people like them, and find them so revolutionary? Easily noted, they were simple-- so simple, and so standard, people flocked to them. People do not care about complexities, if a song such as "Gantz_Graf" by Autechre were to ever reach the airway or music by Botch [a complex, math-rock group], it would be detested and riticuled. Why is this? I re-iterate: People like things that are simple. Action movies that show action, Comedies that show humor, Suspense films that leave you in suspense. Much like One Hour Photo, Waking Life, and even Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind failed in the box office. The plot isn't directly stated, you have to think about it. Of course, this can also be linked to directing-- different debate.

Also, Kurt described his music as "deep emotional expression," voiced his advocation of drugs, and was known as a heroin addict. What more could anyone need to relate to him with? His presence targetted anyone who had no voice. Music is, to most people, an "intangable way of self expression." That easily targetted a large amount of people. Drugs? That targets the rest. Fuck thinking about music, if it's about drugs and expresses self, WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED?! This explains his large fanbase of junkies and lifeless shitfuckers who contribute nothing to society but their opinion on how drugs should be legalized, but no one will listen to them anyway because they're too fucked up when they state their opinion that it can't be taken seriously.

Here's how I think the self assassination of Kurt Cobane went. First, allow me to state the two main theories that I've heard. (1) Kurt Cobane killed himself [widely believed]. (2) Kurt Cobane was murdered by Courtney Love (his wife). How could someone drugged up shoot themselves with a shitgun? She wanted the money and the fame for herself.

These two views are inconceivable. Allow me to say that Kurt Cobane was secretly a brilliant conartist, and this goes the same with Tupac. They obviously didn't have musical talent, because they weren't musicians at all; They just faked the whole thing. I think they had a bet, and it eventually came out to be a tie; The murder/suicide thing was a huge game. Years before the death of Kurt Cobane, he pulled off something so amazing, so great, that it just seems as insane as the existance of extraterestrials in my garage. He was slowly draining the blood from his body, and storing it somewhere until he finally accumulated enough to make a real replication of himself [blood-loss: the reason he was so fucked up and down all the time]. Now, while writing terrible lyrics and building an army of drug activists, he was using advanced skin replication techniques, and bone synthesis that he learned at the years of study in the facilities of MIT [remember, his whole origin is up to me right now, I say MIT because he went to a college before becoming a conartist]. Right when the moment was true, he shot his fake body in the face and placed the gun in the spot, dashing away during the night with money that he's been saving. Disappearing, only leaving what looked like suicide behind.

What you all know as the suicide of Kurt Cobane, was really a self-assassination. He's now somewhere with Tupac, smoking pot and reading philosophy.

Don't get me started on Elvis either, mother fuckers.

Now, for my moment of zen......

Bonnie - YOu know, Aaron, people could say the same thing about Picasso. Not Good, just dead. Opinions are great.

I would take hair bands over Nirvana any day of the week. Their music was upbeat, fun, and they put on good live shows, Nirvan's music makes me want to take a melon baller to the inside of my cranium.

And musically, while they had a large fan base, and since he was some how martyred for the music although he killed himself, yes, he will be remembered forever as being "the father of grunge". But he wasn't. My uncles remember seeing Alice In Chains opening up for The Bullet Boys in 1986... playing the same type of music they did in the early nineties. Where was Nirvana then? Nowhere, they didn't exist.

From the theory side, Nirvana contributed NOTHING to music. Kurt Cobain is just another good vs. dead example. Take Tupac, he wasn't the best rapper, shit, Eminem is a more skilled rapper than Tupac, but everyone will say Tupac is the best because he died. And you can't have him come back to defend himself and actually prove he's the best, so it'll always be that way.

April 07, 2004

Nirvana created nothing.
They had a large fan-base, that is all.
Mudhoney, among other bands were out there creating that scene when people would have said "Nirva-who?"

And....I like Poison, thank you.
Funny thing. Friends will go through all kinds of shit for and with each other. All the while, swearing they'd never let a girl come between them, no matter what.

Until it fucking happens.

Yes, well. People change. Grow apart, et cetera.

Sure, she has nothing to with how pissed you are at him right now.

No, she has everything to do with how pissed at him I am right now.


Or, maybe it's not that. Maybe it's because there's just so much else happening.

Nope, it's the girl.

Fuck me.

Heh, keep going. You'll find it.

It is my fault. I waited too long. Then I left for the fucking desert for a week.

There it is!

The timing didn't feel right

Biding your time, worked so very well for you.

Still, though. He knew how I felt, a week before I left. I told him plainly. Said he wasn't interested. Been saying that for months.

And you believed him, with his amazing ability to differentiate between truth and fiction.


You didn't bother to tell her how you felt.

... Maybe not, but... But, but, but -

But nothing. It's not like he got to the store first and got the last one off the shelf. There's a certain amount of free will at work here.

Just wait for the backorder to come through on that model?

That'll work. "Hey, I hear you're not going out with that guy that used to be my best friend anymore, wanna see a movie?"

Good point. So I fucked myself. She'd already made the choice, before I went to Sin City.

She made no choice. You are (were) "just a friend." He was a potential suitor. A call from Vegas might not have hurt your chances, though.

You shitting me? I was way too drunk to pull that one off.

She might have at least gotten some entertainment value out of it.

No doubt there. Still, I have to wonder how long it'll be before she figures out he's basically just a lying, good-for-nothing bum of an asshole. Then what?

Wow, the truth. So you have only been hanging out with him because of her.

Funny thing, that. You think you know somebody, and then come to realize they are completely detached from reality. Then you question the friendship. And, well...

You're so very good at this, aren't you?

So, now I'm just wondering, why do girls always go for the assholes?

jEFF already affirmed that one for you: Nice guys finish last.

Exactly, and I've been working so hard at finishing last, it's too late now to change game plans.

Nice guys finish last because assholes run across their backs to finish first.

But where's that finish line at?

Doesn't matter. That they won by being dicks will eventually be noticed. That'll leave them hurting later.

How much later.

The fact that you are a connoisseur of procrastination has something to do with this.

Quit changing the subject.

Your stunning motivation certainly helps too.

I'll get around to it. Seriously, what the fuck is going on here?

When the assholes are selling used cars, and you've decided what it is you'll do, and are doing it, there's the finish line.

I think that involves college. Or so I've been told.

Yep. You can get nowhere in life without a college education. Ask anyone who's in college what their major is. Then ask them what they can do with that.

I always enjoy that. Seems a lot of people just bought in to that whole "you need college" thing as an excuse to delay making a decision as to what they want to do when they grow up.

Ok, bub, back on topic.

Yeah, the girl. Crap. What to do there. Yep. Still nothing.

Tell me: Exactly what noise does the pooch make when you screw it?


Buddy, you fucked up. You had the chance, and blew it.

Fuck. How to recover?

If you had that answer, you wouldn't be making this half-assed attempt at a post right now.

That much is certain: I have no answers.

That, and you need to lay off the gin. This post has made no damn sense.

But I LIKE the Gin.

See what I have to deal with here, people?
Nirvana helped kill the Hair Bands.

For this we all owe them a debt that can never be measured. Kurt should be hailed as a God for part in sending Ratt, Poison, et al packing. Seriously. Like them or not, Cobain and Associates did us all a favor.
I'm not going to say that I love Nirvana, because I don't. However, I do appreciate that they kind of brought about their own scene of music. Also, that's a really cute picture of kurt. Just saying...it has nothing to do with my opinion. I did get really annoyed when they played JUST NIRVANA ALL FUCKING DAY on 107.7, but oh well. YOu know, Aaron, people could say the same thing about Picasso. Not Good, just dead. Opinions are great.
He's definitely good and dead now. I wonder if they embalmed what was left of him, or just put him in a box how it was found and planted his smelly ass. Or was he cremated?

Reminds me of Zach-O's -"experience"- with Chrissie in the back of Jimmoi's car that time. The way he told it - "...I pulled out my cock and she started talking about Nirvana..." I hope jEFF has that on tape somewhere still.

She's like Gary Busey, man, a fruitcake with layers. Wonder if she still reads the board.

Good stuff.

April 04, 2004

The best part of a long road trip is the end. Back home.

Any of you that think SpanaGrahamRoy is a shitty place - try Yuma, Arizona. That's a shithole. A gritty, nasty shithole.

I left Vegas for Yuma. And didn't go back to Vegas.

I left Vegas, drove seven hours, and got out of the truck in 101 degree Yuma. Fuck. It was 85 in Sin City the whole time. Get to the lovely burg that is Yuma, and it's above 100 for two days. Then, it's cooler. Cooler, because it was a fucking sandstorm. Now, I don't mean wind that moves a little sand. Fuck no. I mean a fucking sandstorm. 60 mile-an-hour fucking sand. Can't see 300 feet. Hurts like hell on any exposed skin. Which is most of it, because it had been over 100 degrees for two days (a week for the locals).

Sorry to say, jEFF, but California is the nicest state I was in all week. They know how to manage traffic, the people were super nice (not just the friends and family I was there to see). And the best part: I discovered the greatest city on earth, right there in Cali. Hands down. Makes Seattle's U district look like a skankfest. Plus, it's 85 degrees, so they're not wearing much. College town. Lots of trees. Away from the I-5 corridor.

But I'm not going to tell you all where. No, no. Not going to give up the secret of that little honey-hole.

Oh, and liquor is much cheaper in Cali as well. Plus, you can buy it at any damn grocery store. Albertson's has their own house brand. I almost bought a bottle of Albertson's gin just to see how nasty it is.

3114.8 miles.

One [very] strained family relationship completely repaired. Amazing what 18 years will do for brothers. I now have an Uncle, Aunt and Cousin again. Been a while. Kinda strange. My family overnight went from 6 people to 9. I never gave it much thought, only hearing one side. Funny thing, you surprise someone at 6:30 on a Saturday morning and things suddenly seem more petty than people remember.

It's about time for a night's sleep in my own bed. Feels like a lot more than eight days since the last one.

April 02, 2004

so fun stuff-before, we didnt participate in the exercise sides from the 12 hour shifts, but now we'll have to put chem suits on. don't ask why, i don't know.

i came up here and got into trouble for my car being impounded, my cable bill not being paid (even though i cancelled my cable months ago), not retaking a test i failed before taking leave and failing a room inspection. so i had tons of fun since comming up here.

oh and its snowing and its -15 degrees as we speak.

i actually have nothing to post about. i just like to bitch and complain.
sucks about you car aarooooon. you should look into buying a moped. i mean seriously dood, theyre cheap, i dont know about insurance, but they get great gas mileage and you can so hardcore pick up chicas if you ever find a portal that would take you back to 1959 when mopeds were cool.

man...i cant wait to go home again...

well, im off to watch a movie shower and than go to bed. i hate you all and i wish you all ill will.

Well, my car won't start. I'm also broke.

This means that I can't drive to get the tip money I'd need to fix my car, and so I'm stuck in a vicious cycle.

Any of you know someone who would be willing to let me borrow their car in exchange for a small rental fee or free pizza, please let me know.
Bonnie you obviously didn't read the entire post.
Aaron's ending rules all over the place, I don't see how anybody could disagree.
And my ending...well...it doesn't suck, lol...it's just kind of...not really an ending =P

April 01, 2004

Jimmy: That is fucking horrible. Why do I have to have to most horrible ending? Actually, why does everyone have a horrible ending. Geez. Those ending suck and it is now erased from my memory.

I have to spend all weekend in a tent somewhere on Fort Lewis freezing my ass off at night. Boy am I looking forward to that. Anyway, I better go pack.