July 30, 2004

Return of the Jimmy

"Return of the Jimmy"



I agree, by the way. We should do paintball again. I haven't done it
in over two years, I think... so I'm gonna suck, but that's okay,
because it's not like any of you will be pros either. Well, except
for maybe Steve, but that's cause that's what Steve does. Damn you
Steve for having that be what you do.

That's okay though... we can all still shoot Michael.

And I know I'm going to take flak for this, but I say we bring jOe,
and we play Paintball with him again. C'mon... I mean that's what's
classic. That's the way it was before Jimmy got all "I wanna join the
Air Force for the really good food" and left for Alaska. ALASKA.

By the way, I hate ALASKA... almost as much as I hate CALIFORNIA...
maybe more in some ways. Fuckin' Alaska seems to steal everything
from me.

I will kill you ALASKA. Do you hear me... I will kill you dead.

You and your precious ELK and OIL RESERVES.

Why the hell did we add ALASKA to the United States? At least we had
a reason for CALIFORNIA. We wanted their beaches and their gold...
but then they gave us the STDS and Mexicans.

DAMN YOU CALIFORNIA! You gave us Crystal! I will never forgive you for that.

I suppose the two are mutually evil. They are probably part of that
Axis of Evil.

Now, I know that typically an Axis of anything should be in threes,
and according to Bush, the Axis of Evil is something like Iraq, Iran
and North Korea...

But then again, it is Bush's Axis of Evil... so he probably
miscalculated and thinks there are more. I wouldn't be surprised.

In fact, there's an idea... I will trick Bush into thinking that
California has seceeded the Union and become a part of Iraq. I will
trick him into believing that Arnold is really a member of al-Qaida.
I bet he doesn't realize that Arnold is really Austrian.

If Kerry were elected, I wonder what the jokes would be like.
Clinton's era had pretty good jokes... Bush's has obviously. I
wonder... should Kerry be elected... what would his jokes be?

His wife was apparently the wife of the Heinz Ketchup guy - from what
I hear. That could be an opening. You know, along the lines of:
"Hehe, Kerry married Ketchup..."

Okay... not so funny - but you know jOe would laugh at it.

... then he'd eat Kerry's wife.

Email Approach to Blogging

Yeah, so I've decided to try this email-posting thing, so that I can
finally start reposting, and reporting all of my wonderful things to
you fine people. Such fine people.

Also... I have noticed that my cell phone as the ability to take
pictures and send them via email. So just imagine the posting
opportunities that presents me. I have tested it on a friend, and it
worked, once.

Since then no luck... but I'm gonna keep trying. Soon I will post
pictures of the annoying people that I see at Hollywood Video,
complete with story.

I have one now, but I have to determine how to correctly post it the
the site. I doubt simply attaching it to this email will do the
trick.

Gah, I need to probably buy webspace so I can start storing pictures
and posting them to the internet.

Hey Bradbury, you have a .Mac account... how versatile is it? Can I
access most of it's features off a PC, for when I'm at work? I
noticed the price on a .Mac account was fairly reasonable, especially
for the space given and all that - or at least I figured it was
reasonable. Let me know how accurate my assumption of this is.

For the time being, I'll just email James the picture and have him
post it if I cannot figure this out.

If it all works out, this may be the beginning of a whole new posting
era for me...

hehe, then again, I certainly have said that in the past... so much
so, that all of you are probably laughing and having nostalgia about a
certain... MEGApost...

I miss the glory days.

: J.paulino :

July 29, 2004

Today in dead horse weekly: More beating
Tremors 4: The ledgend Begins
Strikes terror into your heart doesnt it...the fact that basically they went the way of the Dusk till Dawn franchise and came up with a prequel towards the end of the series of movies. How friggen original. Although it was fun watching cowboys getting et by giant worms

July 25, 2004

I just ate a can of Easy Cheese for dinner. So what are you fools all up to?  No one has posted in a while.  Thinking that you're all dead.  Maybe you all got flesh-eating bacteria.  That would've been cool.  Anyway, watching Tombstone.  Reminds me of when Aaron, James and me were in Borders and talking about what were the five movies that everyone would like.  I forget what we ended up deciding, but I'm pretty sure Tombstone was on it.  Before we put in Tombstone we were watching Boondock Saints.  I have a question for everybody: How the hell did anyone confuse William Defoe in drag as a woman-let alone a hot chick?  Whatever-the movie was overrated. When i get out (hopefully next month) we should all either go camping again, or Paintball. I don't know-i just miss all of you fuckers.  Even Michael.  God i hate Michael.  If there is anybody that got flesh-eating bacteria, I hope it was him.  The Village comes out Friday.  Hopefully it will be good.  I'm counting on it. Dammit-i drank too much water and now i have to pee, but theres no one here to cover.  Jesus.  I'm thinking about pissing in the fucking trash.  Sgt Robnson went out on a smoke break, so I'm just hoping he doesn't decide to smoke two cigarettes...or has 100s. I wonder what if they'll ever make a sequel to Super Mario Bros the Movie.  What if they did, and it was actually good.  Wouldn't that be, like, fucked up?  Like it becomes the next Lord of the Ring, becomes a huge hit and wins an Academy Award.  Wow, I really need to sleep.  And pee.  RIght now I'm trying hard not to think about it.  Thinking about the future: Flying cars, Hover boards and Cloning.  I wonder if the Red Seox will finally win the World Seris in the future.  Like in 2020 or something.  Didn't Back 2 the Future perdict that the Cubs wil win the Wolrd Seris in 2017?  That would be fucked up shit if that happened too.  Where the fuck is Sgt Robinson?  Why isn't he back yet?  Fucking -A.  Heres a tip for all of you.  Don't ever think, the next time you really have to pee, but you're in a place where you can just whip it out and piss, don't ever think you can just let a little bit out, and hold it until the plane lands.  Believe me, once you start its impossible to hold it in.  Plane ride-from Gulf Port Mississippi to Houston.  The plane was starting its decent and the "GIANT VOICE" said that we had to stay seated due to turbulance or something.  I reall had to pee, but I was worried that, with my luck, the plane would bank to the left and I'll piss all over myself and on the other passengers.  SO i decided that i can wait until we land in Houston.  Well fifteen minutes later, and the plane was still on its decent into and I had to piss real bad.  It felt as if my bladder was going to explode and spray piss and guts and blood all over the plane.  So I decided that maybe if i just let a little bit out, not too much-just enough to get the pressure off of my bladder.  I don't really think i need to finish this story and Sgt Robinson is back so I'm going to go piss---

---Ok, back.  Thank fucking goodness.  Sgt Robinson just put in Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  The remake.  I really liked the ending of the remake.  I thought it was a well done re-make, but I seem to be in the minority though.  I'm sorry, but the scene where Jessica Biel is running away from Leatherface in a White Tank top and short shorts was classic.  You can obviously tell it was directed by a male.  I mean, when she runs into the Meat Packing factory (or slaughter-house, i dont remember) and Leatherface follows her in and for no reason, turns on the Water Sprinklers.  And than shes wet, with a White Tank top and Short Shorts.  And than she decides to hide in the freezer.  So than, shes wet, in a white tank top and short shorts hiding in a freezer.  Oh man.  That made the movie for me. Oh and Jessica Biel is hot.

July 21, 2004

Make the fucking room stop, I want to get off.

July 18, 2004

Good morning.

Good night.






July 16, 2004

well, I thought I'd make some really cool thing against jeff...but then i remmemberd, I have nothing that I could use as amunition :( 
 
so here ya go jimmy, and  thats one wierd question thing....so what do I get??wheres my candy??
 
Question 1LOAC are general rules that apply to any scenario. ROE are specific rules telling us how to operate during a specific scenario. TRUE?

Question 2Following LOAC can help us in maximizing our military operations and conserving our resources. TRUE?
 
Question 3LOAC tells us that we must avoid all suffering during a war. TRUE?
 
Question 4When targeting something that provides both a military advantage but also creates unnecessary suffering, we do a balancing test to decide whether or not to target the object. TRUE?
 
Question 5Some combatants are not legal targets. TRUE?
 
Question 6All military personnel are combatants. FALSE?

 
Question 7A military hospital or chapel properly marked with a red cross is protected from attack. FALSE
 
Question 8We should not target civilian property which is not being used towards the war effort. TRUE
 
Question 9Weapons issued to you by the Air Force can be assumed to be legal weapons. TRUE
 
Question 10Napalm and nuclear weapons are illegal. TRUE
 
Question 11Chemical and biological weapons are illegal. FALSe
 
Question 12Only combatants, civilians accompanying the armed forces, or crew members of merchant marines or civil aircraft of a party to the conflict are entitled to POW status if captured by the enemy. FALSE????wtf
 
Question 13OSI and SFS are authorized to beat POWs if they believe the POW has useful information. TRUE???
 
Question 14POW's are entitled to food, clothing and shelter, but not medical care. FALSE
 
 Question 15If the enemy abuses our POWs, we can abuse their POWs. FALSE
 
Question 16You have an affirmative duty to report LOAC violations committed by friendly or enemy forces. TRUE
 
Question 17If you violate LOAC because your commander told you to, you will not get punished. FALSE
GO


WATCH


I,ROBOT.

 
anyone paying to see this movie, finding they dislike it, i will pay them the cost of the movie back.
 
anyone not viewing the movie on the principal that "its a disgrace to the books" - you are wrong.
 
anyone not viewing the movie on the principal that "will smith lol, independance day with robots" - you are wrong.
 
i saw a 12am showing of this.
i was severely impressed - and it has bumped shrek 2 off of my top summer movie.

July 15, 2004

So i have to take this bi-monthly 17 question test. LAWS OF ARMED CONFLICT. I don't knwo why, but the quesions seem (to me at least) funny. I think it'll be a good experience for all for all of you to take the test. See what type of peopel you all are. C'mon. It's not like theres much going on in your lives (which explains the lack of posts).

----------------

Question 1
LOAC are general rules that apply to any scenario. ROE are specific rules telling us how to operate during a specific scenario.

TRUE
FALSE

Question 2
Following LOAC can help us in maximizing our military operations and conserving our resources.

TRUE
FALSE

Question 3
LOAC tells us that we must avoid all suffering during a war.

TRUE
FALSE

Question 4
When targeting something that provides both a military advantage but also creates unnecessary suffering, we do a balancing test to decide whether or not to target the object.

TRUE
FALSE

Question 5
Some combatants are not legal targets.

TRUE
FALSE

Question 6
All military personnel are combatants.

TRUE
FALSE

Question 7
A military hospital or chapel properly marked with a red cross is protected from attack.

TRUE
FALSE

Question 8
We should not target civilian property which is not being used towards the war effort.

TRUE
FALSE

Question 9
Weapons issued to you by the Air Force can be assumed to be legal weapons.

TRUE
FALSE

Question 10
Napalm and nuclear weapons are illegal.

TRUE
FALSE

Question 11
Chemical and biological weapons are illegal.

TRUE
FALSe

Question 12
Only combatants, civilians accompanying the armed forces, or crew members of merchant marines or civil aircraft of a party to the conflict are entitled to POW status if captured by the enemy.

TRUE
FALSE

Question 13
OSI and SFS are authorized to beat POWs if they believe the POW has useful information.

TRUE
FALSE

Question 14
POW's are entitled to food, clothing and shelter, but not medical care.

TRUE
FALSE

Question 15
If the enemy abuses our POWs, we can abuse their POWs.

TRUE
FALSE

Question 16
You have an affirmative duty to report LOAC violations committed by friendly or enemy forces.

TRUE
FALSE

Question 17
If you violate LOAC because your commander told you to, you will not get punished.

TRUE
FALSE

---------------

Moving on.
Man, i hate John Kerry. I wish John McCain was running. I wish Ditka didn't decide not to run for senate. Man, Ditka for president. Ditka. Mike Ditka. Wow. President Ditka. Has a nice ring to it. I read something a while back during the football season. I think it was a poll about who would win the Superbowl. They had the usual teams and one of the options was "Other" A good majority of the votes were for others and the comments all said "Ditka." I don't know, just saw that as being funny.
FUck you all.

Has anyone seen that new Hate Crime commercial? I wan't to meet the guy who made it.
Enough rambling. None of you people probably read this anymore. I hope a family member close to you dies soon of cancer.

July 02, 2004

Have any of you sat down and watched House of the Dead? That movie is fucking terrible. Its beyond terrible. They put in clips from the game into the fucking movie. They just come out of no where. And they have a sequence that last 12 fucking minutes of them just shooting zombies. You'd think that it would be a fun scene. Nope. Matrix rip off scenes and just pathetic. I pray everyday that if i ever get to make a movie-it would not be that bad. Hell, the fucking movies that me and jeff and james use to make ( the really bad ones like the one with the toe being bitten off and the lady dieing ) were better than this. And whats sad is, listening to the director's commentary-this guy thinks he's brilliant. Whats funny though, the producer has a seperate commentary, and you can tell he's humiliated by the film. He even begins to make fun of it and critizes the directing of the movie. Uwe Boll is the first director I have come across where i can honestly say that Paul WS Anderson (maker of such classics as Mortal Kombat, Event Horizon, Soilder, Resident Evil and coming soon Alien vs Preditor) is better than.

Spider-man 2: I enjoyed it. I liked it better than the first one. Had a lot of humor in it. And a scene that reminded me a lot of Evil Dead 2. This was more of a Sam Raimi film than the first one, i'll put it that way. Less action, but the action scenes were choreographed better.

FightClub: http://vugames.com/product.do?gamePlatformId=787
Let me just ask this...why? why would they make this a game? I think this proves, once again, that the world is ending soon.

Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions!
Mayor: What do you mean "biblical"?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor. Real wrath of God type stuff! Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness, earthquakes, and volcanos!
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!

Well, i'm off of work in 3 hours, and than off to go camping...yea...fireworks, firearms, redmeat and lots of drinking. i guess thats how everyone should celebrate our countries birthday. I was about to purchase an Hungarian AK-47 for $300, but reliesed something...what the fuck am i going to do with a hungarian ak-47? so whatever. i'll just watch everyone else shoot their AR-15 pistols and Glocks and just drink and eat all their burgers. maybe light a few snakes. hehe...snakes. those things are so pathetic.


Steve, the backlash from House of the Dead didn't go well, and the Resident Evil fans literally raised an uproar.

This will in no way appease Alone in the Dark fans, what-so-ever.

But oh ... the multiple ways in which I would ravish Tara Reid.

Mmm.

I'll probably go see this ( read download ) just so I have more live footage of Tara Reid to jerk off to at 3am.
Hey, ya gotta start somewhere.
I wouldn't be surprised if this guy had a sort of...cult following.

Didn't hurt Kevin Smith any.

July 01, 2004

hahah---this is rich: http://www.alone-in-the-dark.com/news/news6.htm

MUAHAAAA-Uwe Boll.