December 31, 2002

I'd just like to point out that I didnt edit bradbury's post.
some people enjoy putting [ edited ] on their posts and from time to time when they do - others actually " yell " or " get on my case " for doing that.
its agitating, really - being that the only instance I edit something is if, say - you're making a post about how people cannot spell worth a shit and you hate their guts and you just happen to type out : " Fukcers can burn in hell! " - i'd fix that.
or you're steven and you decide to type out a long and drawn out letter-per-heading post that fucks everything up.
or michael who cannot seem to use spaces in sentences and makes the board go horizontal.
or jimmoi who posts an image of a bird which alters the size of the board itself.
or - as bradbury beat me to it - when you mass-post something to the extent that it is " beyond necissary " - mind you, at those times I do leave a good bit of your work on the board - but i remove about three fourths of it.

As for bradbury's drunken semi-coherant-ness : be expecting the same from me, tonight - if I get onto Joe's computer at his house.
hee hee hee.
I throughouly plan to get " smashed " as the saying goes - being as i've been long over due for a good " lets forget shit " alcoholic driven frenzy.

Lets all follow bradbury's example ( well, not literally ) - and end this year with a . . .


and hey zacho - you gettin' new-years-eve-road-head?
heh - and be sure to post what YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON TO DO : _________ THIS YEAR
and YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON TO DO : _________ IN 2003 -

I specifically remember than in 2001 Brice was the very first person to shit into a paper bag.
aint that somethin' ?

I dont know what I'll do tonight/morning - but i'll be sure to post it.

December 30, 2002

"The Other White Meat" is A RED MEAT!!!

All mamallian meat is "red" meat.

The damage it causes to human circulatory systems is amazing.

I apologize to those of you who might be offended by the barely coherent ramblings of a drunk fucker such as myself.






The pig's balls never dropped.

Turns out "he" was a she. Oops.

But I now know what a pig looks like on the inside. Especially the kidneys. For some reason, they don't remove the kidneys when they slaughter hogs. Strange. Most everything is different with pigs.

And, for the record, Blue Max Sausage Company, at 96th and Canyon, 120th and Pacific, and 56th and South Tacoma Way, makes the best smokedm goods (i.e jerky, sausage, etc) in the state. Carl Mefford, the owner of all three, is on hell of a guy. Give his products a try, if any of you get a chance. You won't regret it.

Conherency is for those who haven't discovered mind-altering substances.
Abba Zabba.

Be - all that you can be. And play video games.


I've told myself that for four years now.
Wow. I can stand. Go figure. I guess a full bladder was all the motivation it took. I can even walk. And sit. And then stand back up again.

Nice post, Zach-o. They were Hicks, not rednecks. There is a difference.
But the fucking-with was first class. I admire your efforts at bringing the sting of being beaten to those who deserve it.

Although, had I read it before my last post, things might have been different.

[Bob Saget says: "I used to suck dick for coke!"]

["I love you man!" "You're not getting my Bud Light."]
Redneckicus Drunkicus:

I now know what it's like to be, more or less, a passenger in the destruction of a $30k vehicle (2001 Toyota Tundra, my baby, and the center of my Hot Rod efforts [read: most of my money, most of my time] for the past year and a half).
Mind you, I was driving the vehicle, but when someone pulls out (directly) in front of you on a wet road at 45 mph, there is nothing the driver can do but try his best and hold the fuck on. Well, my best wasn't good enough at 10 this morning, and now I have been faced with what more than enough people have dealt with. As far as holding on, I did that as well as anyone ever has.

For the remainder(sp?) of my vacation, I'll be dealing with two insurance companies (his and mine), Lakes Body Shop, and the Pierce County Sherriff's department. So, right now, I'm as drunk as I've been in a long time (probably since July or so, but I'm not really sure). Tomorrow, I'll drink until I can't possibly drink any more (then I'll have my buddies poor it down my throat. The goal of this is too keep from being sore [yeah, that's it. that's the ticket!]). Let's just say that, until the 6th (my first day back at work after 16 days off) I'll be giving a lot of money to Coor's and the Washington State Liquor Control Board. ooh, and Peperidge Farms. Damn, those Goldfish Crackers are good. Moreso after a 5th (750ml, 1/5th of 1 gallon) of Jack Daniel's Old Time "Old no. 7 Brand" Quality Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey (so says the bottle). It is, by making, actually a bourbon, but having not been made in the Bourbon area of Kentucky, they don't call it bourbon. They call it Tennesse Whiskey.

Oh, God yeah. (assuming there is a God. Not that I'm saying there is or isn't, just using an expression.)

I hope you all enjoy your "New Year's" plans, whatever they may be. Hell, sitting around watching TV counts, as long as the spirit is there.

TO END, I'd like to say:


(I'll truncate it myself, to save James the effort. Just count on me having typed it for ten or twelve pages)

P.S. It's amazing how lucidly I can type. I can't even stand up right now. But I'm watching "Half Baked," so "it's all good."

P.P.S. You'd be surpised how hard I can throw a screwdriver after as wonderfull a crash as I had this morning. The gravel from the side of Canyon Road actually dented the damn thing.
i know many of you do not read my livejournal and i respect that.

however i am too lazy too retype all this..yet it is funny. so to the three or 4 of you who read my livejournal...i must apologise.

so we are driving to the barry road wal mart, and these two fucking hicks pull up behind me and like fuck with me..and then just look stupid next to us. im talking cletus the slack jawed yokel stupid.

then on the driveway into wally world they like..fuck with me somemore..ulminated by them driving braodside towards me and slaming on their breaks. this time i have made mental note of their cars apperance. a dust covered ford bronco with misouri plates. at thet ime i had the plates memorised...but its past me now. so i seek them out in the store. then i tell mary and erin to tail them. and i mean these guys talked like cletus..soudned like him...they were wearing flannel and NASCAR hats....and buck teethed. so i went out to my car. in my car i had a box that used to contain hostess cup cakes. but as of a couple days ago it contained two used condoms. so i write aquick little note.
"hey cletus amnd jimbo, have a treat on us"
then i went to their bronco an dopened the door which was of course unlocked...placed the box on the seat.and left. the thought of crapping on the seat had crossed my mind..but i was being watched by cops.

so then i go get mary and erin, and we drive away...with a smug grin on my face.

i am zach's immense hatred of rednecks.

i am zach's twisted and humorous sense of revenge.

December 29, 2002

Goals for today:
-Pick up pig.
-Deliver pig to slaughterhouse by 6 a.m.
-Pick up trailer-towed pig-roasting rotisserie.
-Deliver trailer-towed pig-roasting rotisserie to site of pig roasting.
-Retrieve pig from slaughterhouse and deliver to site of pig roasting.

Day's tally:
-Three rednecks, with a combined total of around 6 hours sleep, caked with mud.
-Two trucks, fairly beat-up, caked with mud.
-One Toyota bottle jack, very bent.
-One pig, very alive, fairly oblivious to its situation.
-Zero trailer-towed pig-roasting rotisseries.

Today could have gone worse, but it really would have had to try.

December 28, 2002

I have had a change in the way I want to live my life. I had a realization. It should not be spoken of here though, those I fancy truly good friends I will explain this to next time we meet.

Nice story there Heather.

James, I lost your cell phone number again... remind me to get it from you next time I talk to you.

Steven, I still need that ten bucks.
Holy fuckin' Chroist

Well, for those of you who didn't know - my sister ran away from home a few days ago. Tonight, I had an odd thought - what about (enter freinds name)? Her parents are known for harbouring run aways. So, I pull into their driveway and BAM! There's my sister in their living room. I didn't even have to go in - I saw her from the road. and she saw me.

So, I knock on the door. No answer. So, I pound on the door. No answer. So, I get in anyway. BAM! I commited a crime.

Then, there's the yelling match. Then, the freind's parents say, "Okay, you can take Amber and (insert freind she ran away with's name here) with you." and then helped them ESCAPE out the back. What the fuck is that?!? So, my dad is called. They call the cops on my dad for assault, when he's not even there yet. I call (insert name of freind who ran away with sister)'s Mom and tell her what's up. Dad tells them, as their being taped by a 911 operator, that if Amber or (insert that same old friend) set foot in their house, they are committing the felony of harbouring a runaway as well as aiding a minor in a crime - as one of the runaways has a "youth at risk" order/arrest warrent out on her. Dad leaves, I go to the front of the neighborhood to wait for said other mother. She drives back though the neighborhood sans headlights and sees my sister and her daughter though the same window and calls 911. She calls me and my dad, we go over there. The cop won't go get them out because they claim they're afriad to go home ( I would be too at that point! ). My dad says to the cop "Either me or her are leaving here in a cop car tonight." Cop takes that as a threat, calls for back-up, claiming my Dad is assaulting him. Back-up arrives, goes in and gets both girls. As they get in the car, (insert harbour-ers names) tell the cops I don't have a liscence. I do. They say they're gonna smack me with breaking and entering - I'd already talked to the cop and told him what happened, he's cool with it. Dad is talked to for assaulting the officer, but they're all in all cool with that to. (Other runaway's mother) gets a case number, and the harbour-ers are hit with -

1)Aiding a minor in committing a crime - felony
2)Harbouring a runaway x2 - felony
3)Concealing the whereabouts of a runaway x2 - ?
4)and, for refusing to remand Amber to my custody, custodial interference by a non-related party - felony

and the Hell of it is - they won't know tis till tomorrow morning.

December 25, 2002

James: Do you not want a hug, or do you just not want to ask for a hug? Cause buddy, if you want a hug ill give you of charge and chock full of warm lovin goodness
So...umm...James, aren't you the only one who can change your life? I mean, maybe you do need a hug. You obviously need SOMETHING.'ve never made more sense to me and believe it or not, your post almost made me cry. Then again, I'm crying over the weirdest things lately. Anyway, I had a wonderful christmas. It was so great to see all of my family again. They are so weird that it's amusing and my family is just so HUGE. I love it even though sometimes i forget i love it. Anyway, I just hope that maybe since you guys don't all seem to be happy during christmas maybe you could be happy the rest of the year and then next time christmas rolls around you'll already be happy and you won't have to get happy all at once. I'm always happy, but christmas time just seems soooo wonderful and almost magical. Anyway, I'm rambling. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
About whatever I create.

What's funny, that I almost always got what I wanted
as a kid.

Roadhead rules. Especially when it's on a 4-5 lane freeway, namely I-5.
I shall elaborate my point because it seems nobody has seemed to got it - but rather, has pigeonholed me into the stereotypical " grinch " or " scrooge " as it may be. I believe steve may have the same feeling I have - and yet you still do not listen to him either. So here I go.

First and foremost my beef was not necissarily with the economizing of christmas as a holiday. I dont care much for that.
and secondly - Im tired of all the bullshit that comes when someone makes a point and the only thing to degrade that point is : " YOU THINK TOO MUCH " or " STOP OVER ANALYZING THINGS " or something else along the same lines. These two points I shall further elaborate.

My beef with christmas was about the idealogies behind them. Not about " OH MAN I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE FUN BECAUSE OF ( SOME REASON ) " - and it wasnt about NOT ENJOYING CHRISTMAS. My beef was behind presents and the idealogies that people present in giving and receiving said presents. Not with the holiday. THE PEOPLE - and secondly : specifically for michael that is : Im not a family person. I dont give a flying rats ass if mom and dad and little brother joe and the one legged crippled kid who " PLEASE SAH, MAY I HAVE SOME MOHRE? " shows up to get a turkey. I dont want grandma and grandpa over. I dont want Calvin and his umpteenth girlfriend-whom-will-soon-be-replaced over. I dont want toys. I dont want gifts. I want happiness. And all these things which are done over and over each and every year DONT FUCKIN' DO IT. Im a nice person. I give presents willingly when there isnt an occasion to call for it. Im not needy, and Im not greedy. Im a very good person. It tears me up inside when christmas time rolls itself around and all of a sudden everyone is calling me a grinch. Or misanthropic. Or materialistic. Or scrooge. And they start telling me that I need to " lighten up " and " get into the spirit " - how the fuck can I get into the spirit when all it takes is for a holiday to make you my best friend? To make you buy me things? To make you be nice? To make you FINALLY have goodwill and tidings towards all men? Fuck you. I do believe in Christ and I do believe in his teachings - but I sure as hell dont believe in all the fabricated bullshit that comes along with : " OH YOU NEED TO BE HAPPY ON THIS SPECIFIC DAY " crap - You think I didnt buy things to " make a dent " in some coporation's plans? No, I didnt buy presents because I didnt deserve to buy them. I didnt buy presents because the people I was going to get them didnt deserve them. WHERE THE FUCK HAS THE CONCEPT OF BEING HUMBLE GONE? Oh fuck that lets flush it down a toilet and be happy.

I will show my goodwill towards men throughout the year.
It wont take a god-damned paid day off of work for me to be a nice person.


WHAT THE FUCK? This is the way I am. I think. Its what I do. While everyone else was out drinking their alcohol and having their parties and going to football games and fucking their friends and playing in streets I was in the library or at home reading a book and thinking about life. Thinking about why I existed and the meaning to things. I THOUGHT about the things PEOPLE DID instead of DOING THEM. Now that Im reaching the point of my life where I have to do those things people continually tell me that all the conclusions Ive come to are fabricated and nothing more than " over thinking " and that I should " relax " and " take it easy " and " stop being so stupid " - well fuck you buddy. Sorry if I cannot live my life by the swing of every second and never stop to think " what does this mean? " - sorry that I think life has some greater intent, some higher purpose to it rather than " feeling good " or " being happy " - fuck you if I cant say something and instead of trying to LOGICALLY SHOOT ME DOWN on the same grounds you decide that " its higher and mighter " to say : " HUH HUH, I DONT CARE YOU IS STUPID STOP AND JUST SMOKE THIS JOINT AND RELAX DOOD " - FUCK YOU.


wrap that in a god damned box and put it under my tree.
fuck you.
and have a merry christmas.
buncha monkies.

but heres this.

merry christmas.

now im off to get roadhead weee!!!!
Michael: Amen to that. Maybe the rest of them just didn't get their Red Rider BB Guns when they were kids.

before I say this I.... Shutup Michael...


You all bitch about how X- mas is a government controlled holaday and shit like that, you bitch about how it sucks, you never get what you want, never get other people what they want, and or just dont give a shit anymore because the day sucks...well... you suck, your the one who fucks this day up. I just got 2 EXPENSIVE cow things from my cousins, i did not ask for them, I did not even concieve of the idea of a cow like this, then i got a cow blanket from my parents, I was thankfull, They got what i like and i didnt ask for them, everyone knows i like cows .... " so big deal your a fag, you like cows and your fagger friends who think your an idiot got you more items to add to your fetish "


Its not about presents you fucks! right now im with my whole family, all thinking of eachother and all talking of old times and eating dinner, and I feel great, Normaly dads at work, moms at work, james is at work, or asleep, and I'm stuck with my dumbass little brother, so go to hell.

AND so what that " Christmas is an economic thing. Why else would so many people celebrate
it, when they don't even believe in Christ? Sure not all do...but most athiests/pagans
do, and that's rather contradictory. I've never thought of it as a religious holiday, not
even when I was a kid.
People do want. People tend to get what they want. That's the flaw in the whole
Christmas thing, which is why I simply don't bother. The few people I do get gifts
for, I don't get something they'd 'want' but rather I get something for them that is
obviously something that would come from me, and would go to them,
" You buy items NOT on X-Mas, SO whats the big deel that you go out and spend a little bit of cash on someone, maby they want something, SO get them something they complaiened about in the begging of the year, or get them something that they asked they wanted, NOT ON THE MONTH BEFORE X MAS.... so shutup about it all being a bunch commercialistic bullshit.

I didnt get what i wanted, not a damned thing, but you know what... i got better, i got even better then better I have my family and some more cow things, AND im with the people i love, most the people out there are ither complaining like you, or next to the table eating, lauging, having a good time.

someone had to say it, and i reread the posts and Jessy or arron ( i dont know ) said it, .... so....

Hey bradbury wanna go beat up someone with me Mr R Napster and steeevo ... =) its for a good cause

Bah! Humbug.

Here's some holiday spirit for you:

Aaron, lick the sweat from my ball sack.

It wasn't mockery, just reality.

Fuck the holiday season. It's all a bunch commercialistic bullshit from one religion that controls the economy for no apparent reason. No more. It was never a huge deal until people started cashing in on it. The spirit and intentions of the season are dead.

Three things I'd like to say on the board:

First of all, I've noticed a trend that has occured sparsely over the last two months or so. Here's the trend. Someone says something funny on the board... then, A certain person posts trying to mock it, thinking it would be funny to mock it. No one laughs because the original statement was much funnier than bra.. I mean that certain person's attempt at mocking it.

Second of all, will you guys quit theorizing Christmas and just fucking enjoy the holiday season. I don't really celebrate Christmas as the birth of Christ, but I buy people things as a show of my goodwill towards them that they can't really misinterpret. It's the time of the year when everyone should stop being so god damn misanthropic and overanalytical and just say "Fuck it, we're all people here." Then open some presents, eat a big holiday dinner, and pass out playing with their newfound "toys". If the "big corporations" have made this a "consumer holiday", do you think you're going to put a dent in their plans by not buying things for other people? Instead, ignore whatever intentions consumerism has for the holiday and just be happy to be a part of the world. Christ man.... Sometimes.

Finally, What sort of websites Steve?
I also decided, today....that I was going to get back into my old hobby.
The one where I made websites like...always.
With this laptop...I'll be able to do that, at work and whatnot.

I need to have a hobby again.

Plus I found out sells used books now. They're mad cheap.
So within the next week I should have around 15 books coming to me in the mail.
So I come to make a post.
Lo and behold I see most of my post already there, on the board.

I also decided against getting presents this year. Courtney gets something,
because, well...she's my girlfriend. My brother gets something, because, well,
I feel obligated...and my 2 sisters get something because aside from Courtney
they're the only people that I feel the need to give a gift to.

When wrapping gifts..I prefer to use the unconventional way of wrapping.
you see, I take the receipt out of the bag that the merchandise comes in...
then I do the little thing where ya wrap the empty part (the top part) around
the stuff inside when ya want to carry it by the item, rather than the handle,
(like people often do when carrying CD's out of a store)'s wrapped.
and I hand it to the person.

Christmas is an economic thing. Why else would so many people celebrate
it, when they don't even believe in Christ? Sure not all do...but most athiests/pagans
do, and that's rather contradictory. I've never thought of it as a religious holiday, not
even when I was a kid.
People do want. People tend to get what they want. That's the flaw in the whole
Christmas thing, which is why I simply don't bother. The few people I do get gifts
for, I don't get something they'd 'want' but rather I get something for them that is
obviously something that would come from me, and would go to them, fittingly.
Except my brother. He got a black light.
I believe just getting people these material things, like black just stupid.
You have person A buying something for person B, and vice versa. If they are just
things the other wants, then it's self defeating. When we could all just go out, spend
the same $ we would on others, on ourselves instead...and get even better
things than that which we would otherwise recieve, what's the point?

I use to get M&M's from Heather for holiday type things. Not because I liked M&M's,
but because us meeting involved an M&M wrapper.
If that was the type of thing Christmas involved, I might be more into it.
Instead, I'm not....I just sit there, accepting the gifts, trying to look surprised and
excited, which I'm not (granted I might like things I get, but I have no emotions about
them, which makes those emotions hard to express just to make the other person
not think I hate everything). It's an annoying thing, really.

Hey James, I don't want anything for quit hoping.

I'd be up for poker, if you can get a sufficient group.
I don't think there's anything that would call for calling gambling on a day of economics

As a matter of fact, it's quite fitting....wanna give me a royal flush and a big pot
to go along with for Christmas, dealer?
or a lack there - of

I'd like to wish you all a merry christmas. So I will do that now : Merry Christmas - but yet the words do not express much of anything to me anymore. I think the ending of this year marks my final descent into insanity. The final snap before the real havok begins. I do not know what the next year will bring - but I do know that it wont be pretty. I will move out. I will have my own place. I will let my eccentricies run wild - and most of all I will be happy. Happiness and insanity - for some damn reason, are the same thing for me. If I imagine myself to be in a good mood, then obviously I must have lost something in the wood-work. My idealogies have manifested themselves in a full-blown manner to which I cannot help but do anything. I just sit to the side and watch them grab the controls and say : " THIS IS HOW IT IS GOING TO BE, MOTHA FUCKA " - and so it is. Christmas, for example. I do not celebrate my birthday - in fact, I dont think birthdays should be celebrated. The birth of christ has, and it has been said so many times before that it isnt funny - become nothing more than an economic bump in corporations' plans for gathering money into their pockets. Christmas now starts the day after thanksgiving. I wanted to give people presents but I thought the presents would be empty inside. Just full of money and " I think this person wants this " - no real caring or real feeling attatched to them. I think that this lack of caring has also made people think that : " I should get what I want from these people this year because ( insert reason ) " - always wanting to want. To want want want want. I asked myself this year - or should I say that my father came in and asked : " what do you want for christmas? " - I ... thought about it. Nothing. I dont want anything, really. And I figured thats was it. I have totally lost it. The american idealogy of : "WANT WANT WANT WANT" had been erradicated. I just keep on going. So.

I hope that every one of you wants to get something for christmas.
I hope that every one of you gets what you want this christmas.
I hope that every one of you enjoys life and is happy with what comes.

just other ways of saying Merry Christmas.
Happy New Year.

I thought of trying to gather together poker night on christmas.
but I figured that would be blasphemy.

December 24, 2002

As much as I hate to admit it -- I would actually consider doing that
Jesse. Simply because I think it would be funny.
Okay, you can go to the airport dressed like that.

I'll follow behind dressed normally, and enjoy the show as you get to taste a rubber glove that took the long way up.
So I have an idea, lets all dress up as Ring Wraiths and go to the airport and hold up signs that say "Baggins" on them...YEAH! I can't wait for Halloween!
Merry Christmas everyone. I hope it goes well for all of you.
the last time someone borrowed something from me they ran away from home a coupole days later and of course took it with tem..and now live in new mexico and tell me they wont sent it because i owed them money. motherfucker.

last night, i watched DVD porn. and i masturbated to it. isnt that cool?

well im off.

mend up your stocking hole, cause this lump aint made of coal
ive got a boner for christmas.

December 23, 2002

Games acquired :

- Cyber Stadium Series Base Wars ( a game me and steven both highly remember being awesome, but remember nothing about )
- BLASTER MASTER ( c'mon, if you dont know, you aint no gamer )

- Hegemonia Legions of Iron ( some RTS game that has been bugging me to buy it )

- Charly and the Chocolate Factory

also : as long as napster informs me, im ok.
although ill still bitch.
but i dont mind really - unless its something im actively playing ( ie > mortal kombat )
then some heads would roll.
but people round these parts rarely play GTAVC any much.

I gotta zip.

Carpe Carpe.
yah steve i know...but i was going off of precedent, i borrowed Blood Omen from james when he was asleep, and i left a i did this time
Hard to post while homeless.

Napster there's this unspoken rule that most people's not borrowing
people's games without asking. Hell I cringed reading that post and it's not
even mine.

Carpe Titties.

December 22, 2002

James...since you were sleeping and i didnt want to bug you, i thought id just drop you a note on use for this thing.
Just wanted to let you know that i borrowed vice city...dont worry ill return it sans scratches and i am currently not borrowing anything else from you
if you dont trust me and want it back call my cell and bitch to your hearts content....202-8618
anyways. so this board is like......

turning into last year..wher fools stopped posting and i would look here day in and day out and like....only i would have posted. fuck that says i.ffbbgvvffvbdsdgczbndzbndandvandggndarng
anyways. ignore that shit. im too lazy to erase.

if you rearange the letters in get arsee. ARSEE!!!!!!!


fuck off.

carpe spleen
carpe ceravix
carpe rectum

December 21, 2002

Carpe Noctem
Carpe Cerevisi
Carpe Spiritus
Wait, everyone else punished you for joining the airforce? I think the things you are talking about are the natural consequences of being away and out of the loop for a prolonged period of time, not our advertant efforts to punish you for leaving us.

Anyway, Earth and Beyond is beckoning me...

Steve, you owe me ten bucks, errh... nine bucks, whatever it was...

December 19, 2002

saturday i leave again.

its been...boring here. i reliese i hate this place and i dont plan on coming back. well---i will but, eventually, there will be nothing for me here. i learned something from coming will go on. chaos does not happen. the world continues whether youre here or over there. almost everyone feels they are an important piece of a "puzzle" let me find a better way of putting it...

a car. there are many parts to a car. some parts you need for the car to drive smoothly. the parts that will keep the car running, and finally the part that has nothing at all to do w/ the entire make up of the car. like a nut. one nuts not gonna cause the car's wheel wheel to fly off.

i think most people, deep w/in their heads, where they dont notcie it as much-they think that theyre the important part of the car. i did. it was selfish/and in the most part umlikely. why would i be an important part? i shouldve figuared that i was a nut. but deep inside my head, was that thought that made me think that i was something...

coming back i find that chaos did not happen. i sorta wished it did. im selfish.

the point? i dont know. boredom is dangerous. thinking is dangerous. i came to this conclusion-though completelyuntrue that in some way, not on propose---you all have found a way to punish me for joining the air force. and sure---the whole " well, you shouldve came later", or "you shouldve made your leave time longer" has come up---and i start to think that maybe i shouldnt have come to this place. maybe i shouldve went straight to alaska. there is nothing here for me. i have nothing here. nothing.

so what is this? a goodbye? a farwell? i cant spell italian-but their good bye wouldve been here. i dont know/i dont want you all to think that i feel that you all abandoned me ( and you wont) -thats not what i wanted to do. i dont even think youd read it. i dont care. i just think that maybe, when i come here in july---it will be my last time.
rioja. rioja. reverend al green. deep blue morocco. the water on stone.
the water on concrete. the water on sand. the water on fire. smoke.
the wind. the salt. the bride boat coming. dave in the water.
old man. einstein on top of his house. white deep blue
andalusia red yellow red yellow black car. red light.
far. black place. walls. blue chair. morocco. hamburg. paris.
the pieces of the puzzle are waiting. the water of the dark boats gliding.
the bride boats gone out to sea and dave is floating.
dave is floating. and old man einstein crazy in his attic. crazy.

white room. sun room. shadow room. night transmitting cars across the room.
these things sent to dance across the room. eye watching from your bed.
returning to you.
rioja. rioja. reverend al green. deep blue morocco. the water on stone.
the water on concrete. the water on sand. the water on fire. smoke.
the wind. the salt. the bride boat coming. dave in the water.
old man. einstein on top of his house. white deep blue
andalusia red yellow red yellow black car. red light.
far. black place. walls. blue chair. morocco. hamburg. paris.
the pieces of the puzzle are waiting. the water of the dark boats gliding.
the bride boats gone out to sea and dave is floating.
dave is floating. and old man einstein crazy in his attic. crazy.
well james i think its my mom calling you if it was this morning at like 640 cuz she got onto my s/n and looked up your # on my list so yea sorry about that


December 18, 2002

That was fun. It's good to be back.

December 17, 2002

hey jeff....

smile for the birdie!

on a related note

fuck things that piss you off.
my god its been so long since i could post from school but i can now and no one really cares but yeah ok when is the next poker night i would like to come up and play if there is an open spot so ill prolly come up to the collins house within the next week

\stinky shit smells bad!!
Yeah... i really really really hate to say this but...

I don't think wednesday is gonna happen people...

I just realized, i have to run therapy today (i forget cause it's once a month and i didn't realize... it's been a month).

Add to that that this bird thing is kickin' my ass... and i still have to write two papers on it. Fuck.

However, i will be down for the weekend... that much i'm sure of. UGH> stupid BIRDS

December 16, 2002

Not that the TT isn't an impressive's just not a true sports car. As far as the eclipse....not with all the bad press Mitsu has been getting as of late. Too many problems that Mitsu just goes "Oh, really? Sucks to be you."

Hm...eggnog from the liquor store....yes, indeed....
believe you aremistakin---i posted pictures of animals way before steven---so technicially---i won.

remeber the EAT COW and CHICKEN campaign i went on? that was before steven was on zee board. so yea---i am the animal king-just callme tarzan. TARZAN!!! FUCKERS!!!!

on another note---that picture was meant for jeff. he'll get it and will hate me for it. haha. muhaha. muhahahahhaa...yarsh.

i agree w/ bradbury about the audi tt, but its still a sweet ass car, wouldnt mind having it. same about the eclispe. its a womans sports car---real girly like. but id drive it. so fiuck youse. i hate your truck :P

james you misserable piece of dog crap. i want my cds. i want my CEEEEDEEEEEEs

anywho---nothing to post about. i wasted a lot of free time here. shouldnt have. i hate you all you cock mongloids.
Audi TT?
Yuppie-bait piece of Eurotrash.


Not a sports car.
Life enjoys mocking me.
I found the car I desire - AN AUDI TT - sportscar, sweet.
oh. wait. today on the ride home this guy rides my ass - and Im like : FUCK YOU BUDDY! so I pull off to the right to let him speed by because I wasnt in a mood to deal with that shit - and what is he driving? An audi TT. ZOOM by he went, then got in front of me - " so he's going my way? " I thought to mysef, figuring it was a sportscar and he'd treat it like everyone treats sportscars - DRIVE IT SLOW AS FUCK. But no. not this guy. Him and I were zooming down 507 at seventy miles per hour before someone going SIXTY miles per hour went and got in his way. So whats he do? This sportscar driving audi TT man goes and passes the sixty-mile-per-hour car. It is EIGHT O CLOCK in the MORNING. The oncoming traffic is heavy. And you know what? He fuckin' pulls it off.

( drool )

In other news, the miata I tried to get from my mother's friends? Oh. yeah. They're selling it.

- Jimmoi : posting pictures of animals has already been done by steve. you lose.
- Zacho : you enjoy buggery, you buggery enjoying baffoon.
- Anyone else : MORTAL KOMBAT DEADLY ALLIANCE IS FUN - eat shit and die.

and not to forget :
It seems that a lot of FUCKIN COMPUTER JERK-OFFS like to come by this site and then EMAIL ME because they're looking for a NEVERWINTER NIGHTS CD KEY GENERATOR - which took me FOREVER to find and they think that I am just going to HAND IT OVER TO THEM because they ask? >> politely - I should add. Well here is to you in the event you've come to this website looking for such :


for jeff...

you know the drill folks, click on the picture to enlarge it -ed.


December 15, 2002

you are all a bunch of

cock likering jack twats.

that is all.

December 14, 2002

Oh... and as soon as they are in stock...

i'm planning on gettin' a 10GB iPod.

My computer is back.

They completely replaced the logic board and gave me a new hard drive... which means i'll be working on putting all my old files back onto this thing...

how funzo.

Once done, and this quarter is over... i think i'll be postin' more :).

Plus, i think i'm on the mend with regards to a really crappy start to this quarter. Heheh...


December 13, 2002

Wow, another day with no posts.

I still remember the first one, and how everyone made a huge deal out of it....ah, good times.......

December 11, 2002

Micheal, you fucker!!! That was sooo not cool!
yes that was me, and watch those referals.... they DO check them they DO know if you lie, and you CAN be baned for frawd of a referal, how do i know??? becuase lastnight 2 people did it as a GM was loged on...... they no longer play anymore ( they were friends in the guild )... they also do checks of locations of where you live, so dont refer someone that lived in albainia, and you in washington, becuase im sure they will get-cha ( just an example, im not sure people have computers there, or play on american servers )... just watch it.

well.... im off to kick dad off and play E&B, .... damnit my name should have been flying utters. :( poo....

MadCows PW lvl 32 ( most in combat )
James, you think you can get my referral for free when people offer up to 500000 credits for it. No. Anyway, what's your character's name class and level? Heheh... n/c/l? sorry, I don't know if anyone else caught that...

December 10, 2002

Aaron - That was michael. I was probably off in my quadrant getting new sheilds and stuff. If you want to do me a favor - say that I " recommended you " to E&B - in the startup screen say that " NOT MUD " got you in. Then I get a bonus. wheee.

Just for kicks : Andy's " away messge " today?

No. Fuck you and piss off

because we all know that I was the catalyst and it was me who should have apoligized.
( cough )

doobie do. J.D. just called me. woke me up. wow. he sounds different.
Hey James, which server you play on for E & B? Because I started to play... I had a hard time stopping long enough to post this.. but I started to play on the Pegasus Server. I saw a character there named Madcows, thought it might be Michael but I'm not sure. Anyway... off to hang out with Ana, and then more E & B.
man o man, that guy will have LOTS of porn comming into his email, i sent it to all the people i know, ***UFG*** and some other my age peopel who can not get real women.... so.... muahahha

for fun and its not some kind of porn or such that will result in you turning off your computer, the idiot, is at it again - but he's trying to be sly now.

his latest attempt actually included my user-name ( for here ) NOT MUD in the subject line.
let me clue you in on something buddy -
I've set up a filter system that says : " hey look this email is from "
and then after it does that it automatically marks whatever the fuck you sent me with " read already " status.
then it moves it to the trash folder, which is deleted soon after.

Are you DAFT? get a new email address why dont you? CHROIST.
I dont trust MY FAMILY, My ASSOCIATES or My FRIENDS enough to run a program they send me.
you think Im going to trust you?

December 09, 2002

I'd say you could borrow mine.
but ( no offence here ) - I seriously dont trust you to " pick me up " at seven in the morning.

I vaguely recall " picking people up " to be one of those " low priority " activities ;b
anyone has a car thati could steal for a few car that i have is still in the property of my father, who is going to give me the paper work for iut when i ship it to seattle, and buying a new one will be finacial suicide.

so if anyone has a revoked lisence or an extra car or know of someone w/ an extra car---let me know---i NEEED a bored w/o one.

thank you.
being back sucks
i rather enjoy my nintendo. my snes is broken which fucken sucks because i liked that one the best.

the south park movie is enjoyable to me.

fuck..dick ass.
God damnit.
I CANNOT find SUPER VOLLEY BALL - i found SUPER SPIKE V'BALL which IS NOT what I am looking for.
I found SUPER DODGE BALL which features the same guys as the volleyball game IM looking for :|


also - anyone have an old nintendo they want to let go of for - ... oh ... five dollars? maybe free?
It amazes me that this board is still up and running.
It amazes me that I still maintain TZA within my mentality and idealogy.

Life is amazing.
However, people are not.
People are boring. People are carbon-copies of eachother. People are uninteresting. People are slow.

I've tried to " come onto " three different women.
My attempts so far have been under the following program : " Jesse's sister thought I was hitting on her, so just do to the women what I did to her "
the real question arises : " Well what did I do to Jesse's sister? " - and I think to myself : I was nice to her?


So I put dating on the backburner for now.
Im going to look into college.
and the more I think about it - the more moving out to Dennis' place ( I get my own room for 130 and get to live with his non-english speaking 28 year old brother ) - however that would leave my home-dawgs ( steve / zacho ... uh ... yeah ) out and dry in the event they ever consider me " living-with " material. Unfortunately neither of them have the supportive cash to be considerable options for me. Anywho.

Here is something for you :

Good places to pick up girls :
Sunday, Noon, Grocery Store
Community College, Photography Class

There you go.
Oh, oh! Which picture was it? and did I look hot?

Okay - forget that - did I at least have clothes on?

December 08, 2002

People move.

Now - ladies and gentlemen, if you have friday the thirteenth off of work - you wont die.
because friday the thirteenth is a unlucky day ( I had nothing planned )

hee hee.
Oh yeah.

And my hair is moments away from being cut.
So I take Courtney out for the day to a place in Olympia -- it's a retreat-like
place run by a couple named Jerome and Carolee. This place is called Rusty
Cock Ridge. Most people don't know of it, seeing as how the only way you
are allowed to come by is if someone you know goes enough times to be
considered a friend and given a card with directions to get there (It's not an easy
route to remember at all).
So...basically the odds of anyone knowing anyone else that knows of the place
are pretty low.
Jerome is a photographer. He photographs people, awesome photographs for that
matter. Some of you may have seen the two that I have sitting in my room (black and
white pictures of me and Heather). Upstairs; where the visitors sit, eat, chill, and browse
Carolee's little shop...there is a collection of binders containing samples of Jerome's
work for the previous year.
Which brings me to the point of this post.

I was browsing through these binders, then all of a sudden I see a picture consisting
of 1 person I don't know at all, 3 people I recognize from way back in high school...
all crowding around the picture with none other than Heather Taylor and Jennifer Pinkos.

Let's just say that threw me for a loop and then some. this conglomeration of Jerome and Carolee's friends...who are many indeed,
but who are not likely to know eachother before meeting there, I find myself being well aquainted
with 2. Odd indeed.

Jimmoi's back. That rules.
Jeff -- Me and Jimmoi and probably Andy and Courtney are coming up sometime this week.
So be ready.
Don't plan shit.

December 06, 2002

hey jimmoi...way to never call me and let me know whats up.

in downtown nashville tennessee there is a skyscraper that looks like optumis prime!
at least his head anyways.

December 05, 2002

You need to explain first so I can try and get the day off James, otherwise it does no good.

BTW James, you need to get the new System of a Down CD...
It'll be your favorite thus far, I guarantee it.
Note : Do not play Earth & Beyond.

And : If you have work - get out of it on FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH.

Why? Just email me if 1. you got the day off or 2. you're not busy.
Aaron, remember last night? when I said if I liked the whole CD, I'd hate you? yeah...well....I hate you. It only left my CD player to be drug into work, and placed in the one at my machine.

December 04, 2002

What's funny about that, James -- is that that is something commonly brought up
in philosophy classes/books...since to be a philosopher is to be a thinker/wonderer..
they ask how one can teach philosophy. It is meant to bring up debates on how one
can teach another to think.

Well -- I'd like to point out that Alec Colovos is a teacher, try to get around with
wording and technicalities and whatnot as much as you want, plain and simple he is
a teacher....and he makes you think, unless you are one of those dolts that can't think
and therefore hate his class, as I saw in 75% of the students everytime I took his class.
You can be a teacher, and make/teach people to think -- quit worrying about definitions and
philosophical debates about the matter -- and just do it if that's something you wanted to do.
If any of you should care, I made a livejournal:


December 03, 2002

Some time ago, I invented a new drink. As I have found no mention of anything even close to it anywhere I've looked, I'm pretty sure it's original. So I had a hell of a time naming it (because, as you may well know, a drink isn't official until named). Until, one day, it came to me. "Jimmoi's Blunder." It's quite good, and for anyone who wants, the recipe follows:

Jimmoi's Blunder

In a Collins glass (love the irony) 3/4 of the way full of ice, add the following
1 to 1 1/2 shot Jagermeister (adjust to taste)
1 to 1 1/2 shot Amaretto (adjust to taste)
1 shot apple cider (or apple juice)
Fill with 7-up or sprite.

The best part is that you can't tell it has three shots of alcohol in it until you try to stand up.
dialogue at work :

James: " Hey Joe - Question for ya : What does a Teacher do? "
Joe: " Thats pretty self explanitory, isnt it? "
James: " Humor me. "
Joe: " He teaches, so whats your point? "
James: " And what does a preacher do? "
Joe: " Preaches, so what are you trying to get at? "
James: " Ok - so we've established that. So what do you call someone who makes you think? "

Goes away for awhile, ... comes back and answers with :

Joe: " A psyciatrist. "
James: " Naah, how do you figure? They help you with your problems, not make you think. "
Joe: " Well a psyciatrist doesnt give you the answers to your problems - they make you think about them and help you think about your problems so that you can solve them on your own. They just help you think through things "

At this point I saw Joe's logic.
It made sense, but it wasnt what I was looking for - so I called Dennis over.
I asked him what a Teacher/Preache did, then hit him with the " What do you call a person who makes you think? " question.
He responded with :

Dennis : " James Collins! "
James : " No, seriously. "

Goes away - comes back some later time

Dennis : " A sales person. Because they make you think you want to buy some things. "
James: " No, that doesnt work because a Sales person sells you things, sure he makes you think - but what do you call a person who primarily makes you think? "
Dennis: " How about an Operator's Assistant? I make Joe think. "
( Dennis is my B-person, Joe is the A-person, I am a C-person. Operator, Assistant, Helper, respectively )
James : " No, An operator's assistant assists an operator. "

Goes away for awhile - comes back

Dennis : " A philosopher. "
James : " Auuuugh! *CRINGES in horror* "

To explain why I put up some work dialogue.
I had thought to myself how much I wanted to be a teacher - but upon furthing thinking ... I dont want to be a Teacher.
I want to be something better than a Teacher.

You see - Teachers tell you what is right, what is wrong. How exactly something should be done.
I dont want to show anyone how to do anything - because frankly I dont know everything and there are always some other person out there with a better way of doing something than me - or who knows something more about a subject than I.
I want to make people think.
So - I tried to figure out what sort of profession that would be.

What does a teacher do? I asked myself. A teacher teaches.
What does a preacher do? He preaches.

But then what do you call someone who makes people think?

I couldnt figure it out.

Dennis, sadly - hit the nail on the head.
but do philosophers get paid and is that a profession?

( insert doubt here )

December 02, 2002

Everyone - go to and buy "RUOK" by Meat Beat's most excellent...along with anything by Aesop Rock...fools...

I am realizing I am not my old self, as James pointed out to me this past weekend. This makes the relationships my "old self" had difficult to maintain, which is to say, I know that I really do not want to maintain many of them, but I try merely for nostalgia...

C'est la vie?

What do the fucking french know anyway?

this guy is really funny.
so I check my email today :

To :
From : dailyoffice-suscribe
Subject : Top.showLog

and this one didnt have text.
and two attatchements, an .exe file and this time an .html file.
Lo-and-behold I go to the details and :

Received: from ( [])
by (8.9.3/8.9.3) with ESMTP id AAA24710
for ; Mon, 2 Dec 2002 00:32:01 -0600
Received: from [] (HELO Zkl)
by (CommuniGate Pro SMTP 3.5.9)
with SMTP id 49909719 for; Mon, 02 Dec 2002 01:31:25 -0500
From: dailyoffice-suscribe
Subject: Top.showLog
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/alternative;
Date: Mon, 02 Dec 2002 01:31:25 -0500


I go to google and look up to see what I could see.
I got nothing.


December 01, 2002

I get an email.
It is as follows :

To :
From : postmaster
Subject : Returned mail --"sos!"

The following mail can't be sent to

Subject: sos!
The attachment is the original mail

and I laughed.
Because attatched were the two files :

26[1].exe (88.4 kb) & 26[1].jpg (35.4 kb)

Then I went to properties to see who had sent the dilly :

Received: from ( [])
by (8.9.3/8.9.3) with ESMTP id IAA02312
for ; Sun, 1 Dec 2002 08:31:31 -0600
Received: from [] (HELO Keiyx)
by (CommuniGate Pro SMTP 3.5.9)
with SMTP id 49699428 for; Sun, 01 Dec 2002 09:31:01 -0500
From: postmaster
Subject: Returned mail--"sos!"
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/alternative;
Date: Sun, 01 Dec 2002 09:31:01 -0500

If you know anyone who knows anything about " fux0ring " people online :
give ol a good time.

Because all my " leet hax0r " friends I lost contact with and got out of the hax0ring scene.

Or - if you dont know anything about hax0ring people,
next time you feel like putting someone's email in a CRUSHLINK address or a PORNOSITE
there ya go.

That whole "I'm getting paid right now...for doing nothing" kicks serious ass.
I'm all about a paid holiday. Anytime I can sit around and say "well shit...I just made 116$" is a good day. Esspecially for two days...oh yes....

November 30, 2002

on holidays :

Anyone who hates a holiday - and more specifically - a paid holiday - obviously doesnt work.
I will go so far as to say if you do not have a job - you have no real grasp of reality.
In fact.

I will go so far as to say if you do not offer to perform fellatio upon my lower regions -
you have no real grasp of reality - either.

Hence - all of you live in a ficticious world that you have made up to make yourself feel better.
Because you're not planted upon my penis.

... well - maybe zach has some real form of reality.
( will you stop it with the nibbling? )
I love Thanksgiving. You know why? I hate turkeys, and it makes me really happy to know that nearly everyone on my street is in some way contributing to the MASSACRE!! of one - that's right MASS A CREEE!
Hold on a minute: "fuck labor day because i am against
doesn’t make any fucking sense.

And then: "...we should be communist!"

"Fuck labor",
"we should be communist!"

What the fuck?

Whoever wrote that needs to pull their head out of their ass and breath a little
James - Now and Then, Here and There: go buy it, or wait til I get Lain back from Joe and I'll let you borrow it. Good stuff, very sick, very depressing.

i just wanted to say that, though you dont know him, i was showing him the board...har...BUTTSEX
i gave this a try in livejournal...only to realize everyone is a fuck in livejournal. so like....maybe you sons of bitches(and daughters ogf the same) will have more of a drive to DE-FUCKING-BATE this shit eh?


ok ive seen like 10 or even more(i wasnt counting) people go off about how stupid thanksgiving is as a holiday. this pisses me off. not so much because OH MAN HOW CAN YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!?! but slike..annoyance to the point of stab. its people need to shut up. like....people, an dits usually just the same few people over and over, always have some reason or another to wind up hating every holiday.

"fuck thanksgiving.a day set aside for fat people to gorge themselves...why cant we eb thankfull every day?"
"fuck christmas..why do we have to pick one day to be kind to one another.why shoul di have to celebrate christs birthday when i dont belive in him"
"fuck easter..i said fuck christmas so i think i shoudl say fuck easter!"
"fuck veterans day because i am againts war!"
"fuck labor day because i am against
"fuck independence day because america is bullshit and its fucking retarded to be partriotic i am not atriotic i hate this bullshit captolist country we should be communist!"

someone explain this shit to me? and yeah.

fuck you.
ill live my own life in my own way.

fuck off


November 29, 2002

No shit on the "Homeland Security" act, but they keep passing more and more laws that eat away at our freedoms, not to mention further "interpretations" of existing laws.
I'm going to show up tonight James, but it'll be pretty late... I might not have pizza with me though, I don't have to work tonight. However, I'm still looking for Nox.

I'm tired now, more sleepy time.
Bradbury -

9 - 1 1 came around
then the " HOMELAND SECURTY ACT " came around three days later.

No shit buddy - I saw " TERRORISM " as a flag for losing my rights the day it hit.

( sigh )

November 28, 2002

Cruel Irony...
...If you follow the twists.

December 15th is "Bill of Rights Day" That is, December 15, 1791 is when the bill of rights took effect.

Stay with me now, here comes the good part.

Starting on December 4th, the Supreme Court begins hearing arguments in a case that is more or less challenging Miranda vs. Arizona.


An article about it can be read here.

Welcome to the new, safer America, ladies and gentlemen.

We have a government (lead by a president not elected by the people) that is slowly doing everything possible to control and monitor every aspect of it's citizens' daily lives.

Our rights as citizens have been eroded dangerously in the last 12 months, under the guise of making it safer for the group, no matter what the cost to the individual may be.

The best part - most of those getting screwed are welcoming it, thinking that it will in the long run be good for us all.


I've never heard anyone refer to Orwell as "visionary" for a reason.

I know that it has been thrown around a lot lately, but I must close with this:

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
Benjamin Franklin


WITH A GIRL!!!!!!!

(and she wasnt ugly or fat)
Okay - I don;t know how to do this, so if I screw up, somebody please fix it!

Okay, so I just straight up don't know where to go from there. damnation.

November 27, 2002

James, I can't seem to get through to your house, but my work called, and I have to go make dough in the morning so I won't be coming over tonight. Sorry, but I'll keep looking for a copy of Nox.

November 25, 2002

ahhhhhh i'm gone for a while and you all turn into homies ( hey want to know some fun trivia..... homie in japanese means vagina)
well stop your scaring little children
i got a job i got a job yippie for me...............
james, my friend wants to play magic with you guys because he saids that there is no one he know that is good at it
run ons are fun dont you think
and so they all live happily ever after
I wish to participate in the BURNING MAN event.


November 24, 2002

Okay, regardless of what Bradbury says, this is the most fun I've had posting in a long time...

Zach-O I told you to "dis"s me and you do "dat"?/
Didn't I already tell you I'm da illest cat./
Only one "slug" can rap and it ain't you or James./
So follow your own "trail" out and hang your head in shame/
This may be a game son, sure we might be rapping just for fun/
But that don't stop me from cooking you far past "well done"/
Your half baked,Style like mine's "rare", you ain't even approaching "medium"/
Your style's fake, L. Ron's Dianetics more likely to get me believing him./
You checked in to this battle like me with your mom at a Motel Six/
You'll be checking out more frantic than a junkie who has no fix/
When I defeat you, you'll be mourned less than the singer of Drowning Pool/
If mens' semen came as pills, I know you'd be the first one downing two./
I told you if you wanted to finish me you'd get serious about it/
now my rhyme has spun you like a carousel around it/
Now listen closely for the line that'll easily bring you straight to tears/
Or is that just the pain of me beating you while James gets you from the rear/

There, that's a real battle verse.

November 23, 2002

James, Zach, Aaron,
A tip for you:

Nor are you good enough to act like it.

November 22, 2002

this one goes out to the guy who thinks he can out do me with two lines of dots...

aaron i be swearin
you make me laugh
thinkin i care that you are serious about ya raps.
you think that your ryhmes be all phat like your mamma
but they are more skinny than the dhali llama
weak in the knees
make me go PUH LEEZE
im all about funzo
and homo erotic
your all about shit
and you sure like to talkit
who gives a digguty double dizzamn about serious raps
i think serious shit needs to die and be played taps.

and dont be dissin on zee music i be rocken
cause with an email like happypurple
you be one to be talkin.
we be likin some of the same shit anyways
so stop with tha playa hates.
sewer grates.
grated like cheese
eatinga burrito
down on your knees.
the burrito is fat
cause its my 18 IBC
killing spree?
no im no clown.

and il admit thath kansas is not down.
but it aint my fucken town.
and i aint stickin around.

peepole people peapull
wheres the love in this world
peepole people peapull
you make me sick i just hurled.
who let the goats out?
and who let him you make out(with them?)
and then take a swim.
a swim in the goats pubic hair.
and did i mention that you got a motha fucken skid mark on ya unda wear?

fuck ya rhythm and fuck ya rhym
i can whip the llamas ass anytime.
but for now its HAMMER TIME
but now ya gottzta wait while i take a piss.
in ya eye.
dayum bitch.
i fucked you like a pie.

wiggity wiggity
cheesecake and and play
homocock and homogay.
napster c rhyms with SOdomy
so back up off me.
i be easy free happy me like a free bee in a tree see.

and cut a nigga a break.
id go off on james..but ill be different for a change..and lay down a shout out.
and then rock out.
with my cock out.
and be happy and free.
its COMMANDO for me.
now off goin i be.
so dont be callen me the chicken of the sea.
cause i aint chicken. C!

chika bow now chika bow now
i see you all are tradin i thought id jump in and lay down some tracks
listen now to what i say
all this fronting is so damn gay
what with the whizzo butter and all this emo crap
im left thinking who taught yahll to rap?
He-man? Boi what you thinking..anybody looks good as long as your drinking
master of the universe that aint your name
get off the stage
bow your head in shame

theres my wee attempt at a battle rap...let the scorn flow

whizzo butter - its better butter in your butt -
whats so alarmin' about squeezin the charmin - brand toilet paper
some sort of caper this must be - because Aaron thinks he can diss on me
thinking that Im impressed by his " look at my rhymes and bars "
must've just got through reading his " I enjoy penis / and men from mars "
- book - took it from Zach-o, Oh did I mention the two of them play ping-pong after dark?
bouncin' their balls back and forth like a barracuda shark on exctasy
you see : lemme make something clear here - HE MAN TOOK STEROIDS - so you're one to speak :
little maracorni and beans in your pants while you're callin zach's rhymes weak - sheit

I dont ACT black with ebonics 'cuz I can
- I AM black from the broken down #1 on the Martin
Damn ink spraying everywhere putting me through a panic
- gettin' on the intercom yelling : " HEY I NEED A FUCKIN MECHANIC! "
And speakin' of jobs : at least mine is legit
- No need to stand on the street corner suckin some shit

And sorry - I've gotta give zach some props : makes me laugh more than barley hops
like a couple of kegs only hard liquor not beer - if he could FREESTYLE you'd have something to fear -
dayam - Im lucky I aint drinkin' no milk or through my nose the shit would've spilt /
all over these keys on this board I be typin
I'd have to resort to violence - higher some fuckin' midgets to kick'em in the shins.

I'd say that the "ICP" diss is completely off base, but I don't think it even needs to be said.

Now, Zach-O, I guess I should retaliate.

When did emo start to rap?/
I'll put a stop to that/
Whiny girly music can't compete with hip-hop tracks/
Now that's a fact/
Eliminate your ass/
Check yourself out, you need to rhyme with class/
Your punches are weak, your rhymes are basic/
Next time before you speak, change the way you say shit/
You couldn't diss me if I wrote your own bars for you/
After I win, I'll toss your whack ass out the door too/
Now you think you're dope, but we all know that your not/
Especially since James just told me what a tiny dick you got/
I'd say that I'd take your girl off your hands/
but she's so ugly she's lookin like He-Man/
But that's me, I'm the rhyme master of the universe/
Go back and nurse your wounds, leave the rhymin to the experts/
Slugs go ICP.

Just fucking great.
seems to me we gots ourslves a player hater..
dont player hate me.
player hate on some one else

yo yo

listen up bitch
ima fuck you good.
hit yor face like an asian would
with some asian wood
get you hella good
dont playa hate in muh neighor(HOOD)
ima break it down
you a silly clown
so heavy is your bullshit that you gonna drown
buster brown
dont make a sound.
so dont be frontin
sayin you be fresh
cause my rhyms be bumpin
and the chicks i be humpin
what a silly clown
stay the fuck out my town.
OH man... that was funny...

I feel like dissing both of you though...

James, sure you can diss on worthless amateurs/
but I'll serve you in a flash that'll be brighter than a camera's/
you use ebonics to cover a lack of skills/
My shit's demonic, a whole new level of ill/
Just chill, simmer down now while I diss ya'/
Maybe my verbal tool kit can fix ya'/
But probably not, your spits are as weak as can be/
Now join the ranks of all the cats who envy me/
I'll drop a ten bar freestyle to show you my verbal power/
The only bars you'll be droppin is the soap in the shower/


Guess what now bitch, we ain't in Kansas anymore/
Fucking James don't cut it here on the western shore/
I understand the mistake though he looks like a girl from the back/
But you need to find yourself a real woman to attract/
That's right son, it's time that we get serious/
I'll destroy your rhyme with a bar full of periods/
Think I was joking, it don't take more than that/
Everything I spit is ill, everything you spit is whack/
Now that I've embarassed you, I think I'm gonna split/
Pull the mic cord on you both, that's the end, this is it./

November 21, 2002

this here is what you call a FREESTYLE BATTLE OF THE TITANS!!! between me and james.


zach-0:then ill put my spermy dick in your facce and spray it like a can of mace

james: you think you all that because you can rhyme a line but you cant take it in the ass cuz you think its a crime to do butt-sex in the back-seat of my buick.
wizza wizza

zach-0: mother fucker cant think cause hes a rat fink got your dick up in a hizzy cause you stuck in in the sink.(hole) you are a mole. your mouth is like a bowl. the kind i eat my cereal out ....and you aint got a memory cause if you did mother fucker then you would plainly see that you dont got a buick. biotch.

james: toyota - ford - honda - mitsubishi, whatever the fuck its all the same to me : mothafucka - think you're phat because you mix bow with moles and holes - shit - did you forget? you suck dicks bitch - eatin' cock popsicles like it was passin' gas - when im done with yo mouth i'll drop a load in your ass - dayam, you're on your knees again? You know your place! Pull my pee-pee out and rub it on your face. Nigga, you aint got shit on me seein that I am the man an' bein that you are the " wo - man " - fuck : its like NINE ONE ONE on your buttocks, time to have some FUN FUN FUN.

zach-0: bam! like when i fucked your ass for the first time. they all said it was snack time. so they all ate ya ass with a spoon. thinkin its caus ethey like poon. but really they needed a job. so one guy touched your nipples like they were both door knob(s). and that swhen i stepped in and i punched you in the nuts. then i made the nigas there touch you with theya butts. bitch. you mother fuckin think a car is what i want? its your goat. i like to touch its scrote. i like to drop my pants. and put my cock in ya ass. but you aint havin non. son. you dont want it in ya bum. caus eit be sore. on acount of that you are a whore.(man whore) what a chore. ill leave you on teh ocean shore. and a crab be all up grabbin on ya nuts. mother fucka!
what now biotch?

jameshahahah. the last line. hahahaha. oh man.
ok ok.

crabs be up on me? you'd be one to talk - your pubes got more crabs than the sea - bein' all up on my nuts like it was a see-saw : down in kansas with the HEE-HAW : got bored with the women so moved on to the sheep, no - fuck the sheep : grab the cow - dont have a cow? she-it, you'll have two, maybe four or more - you'd be the udder king whore of the underground - milkin' yourself till the milk turns brown : what are you doin' standin' up again, get down on that floor where you belong - where'd those knee-pads go? - C'mon now - suckit, suckit, suck it, wait - suck it, suck it suck it - wait : Now onto the ass-crack, need the mouth no mo : its so loose feels like your mom's goose, wider than the gulf of mexico - so - go hide it in the circus where you belong - BEHIND BOY sings a SILLY SONG
hee hee, I put in a ' yo momma ' burn

zach-0: aight, aight , aight...
check it out yo

me up ina circus? fuckin cows and sheep? bitch. you didnt know but i never even told you that i fucked your ears while you was asleep. DAm(n) son. my rhymes are big. my rhymes be fat. kinda like when you got done fucking a cat. MEOW. you like em furry. and you like a mcflurry. ice cold dick. i aint no hick. cletus aint my thing motha fucka. i tell you what the score is. and who da whore is. cause when youre on the road you go to I DA Ho. and scream it. you scream it loud. i heard ya when ya holla'd. you wore a shirt. was it colla'd? i dont give a fuck. and i dont drive a pick up truck. or fuck a duck. because you already been up in there. and i wouldnt acre. except its hard to get it up, when you're bein watched by a care bear. care to share bear? bare it all. the camera loves a forest. and you dun got one. gump? chump? whats that lump? its just ya piece of meat. layin in the street cause i chopped it off.

james: pick it up from the street - slap it around your face : shit, two inches? ( what a disgrace! ) - I think you missed there with that axe there Billy, think you tried to get me but cut your own Willy. TWELVE FUCKIN INCHES of COCK BLASTIN STEEL - drivin' bitches like it was the TAZMANIAN DEVIL behind the wheel - Thats right - I fuck women while you're sittin' in yo bedroom masturbating to gay mags - you like fags - you got girly man boobs draggin' them cuz they sags - put on your girly clothes go to the shows and win awards for " BEST HOMO IN DRAGS " - pick up some guy from the place so he can cream on your face - peel it off and go bake a cake to save it later - but thats not it he's got buttcheese to shit to make lasagna for tomorrow night - put it right in the oven for twenty and seven minutes while he's still going at your back end having fits about your saggy tits gettin' in the way of watchin daytime telivision : soaps and sex and foodstuff gone wrong - whats even worse is that you're wearing a thong. Making the world go blind one cheek at a time with your boyfriend behind saying : " HONEY HONEY, GRAB THE LIMES, WE STILL GOT TIME! THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS IS ON NEXT, HURRY HURRY - GET THE CHEX! "
chicka chicka - bizoow

zach-0: much love to ya son. you think your works done. your makin me laugh. for that you are fun. though i dont think my dick is goin anywhere but up. ya mammas butt that is. and this here is my biz. EIGHTEEN INCHES OF SOLID ROCK. rock teh block. dont fit in no sock. so go back to your tube. ill bring the lube. and then well do it in the butt. one at a time. well do it in that order. while were watching law & order. and speaking of order..the pizza guy can join. we'll punch his im tha groin. then piss in his afce. and fart in his mouth. and then well use our turtle sex and go a bit south. biggity bam. go to london. find a guy named sam. SURFACE TO AIR MISSILE. fell out tha window. od'ed on peptol bizmo..... somethin up in here be rank. its quite a stank. i think you didnt change your underpants. it smells like a street in france. your homies holla'rin to g et down. hell yeah we'll get down. we'll get down wit da sickness. and then we'll tag team an empress. but then we go back to the DOUBLE EWE AYE. and see what people at the mall have to say. mother fuckers. they think we are gay. its kinda true cause i have sex with you. and you like to bone me. but like sometimes id rather go pee. so dont be talkin shit about my pee pee nigga. i throw you in da river.swimmin in leaches. ill pelt you with peaches. the niggas drivin bad rides. and makin low tides. attack your house with not one. COUNT EM NIGGA two african tribes. can i get a zulu? holla if ya'v fucked me niggas!

james: ouch.

zach-0: watch ya corn hole while ya sleepin
Just wanted to say that I can't do poker night this week guys... sorry...

don't have the dinero.

November 20, 2002

Ive posted a good couple of times when random people come out of nowhere and ask me things.
One of my favorites consist of : " how old are you? / I fuck small children " - which was so out of place and funny that ...
I couldnt help but post this.

fineblackguy342: hi
Caenum: no. i dont want to see pictures.
Caenum: and no. i didnt remember our chat.
fineblackguy342: no, i wanted 2 ask u a Q?
Caenum: oh. you arent a bot. how cute.
fineblackguy342: i was jus wonderin if u knew ne chicks who would want 2 have sex?
Caenum: with a fine, black man who is thirty four to thirty two years old?
Caenum: oh sure, plenty.
fineblackguy342: no, i'm 18
Caenum: lemme consult my " book -o- women who wish to fuck "
fineblackguy342: i live in spanaway washington
Caenum: oh shit man I'll hook you up good.
Caenum: wizza-wizza.
fineblackguy342: 4 real? do u really kno someone?
Caenum: plenty.
fineblackguy342: could u hook me up wit someone for tonite?
Caenum: You ever heard of a bar called Oasis?
fineblackguy342: nah
fineblackguy342: i'm not 21, so i can't drink ne way... at least in a bar
Caenum: You dont have to be twenty one - you can go in as long as you're just playing pool or whatnot.
fineblackguy342: o
fineblackguy342: alrite
fineblackguy342: do u kno ne chicks numbers?
fineblackguy342: r u there?
*** fineblackguy342 has added you to their contact list. You may choose to accept or deny this action.. You may also add this user to your contact list or ignore this user.
Caenum: 253 538 2165
Caenum: ta da.
fineblackguy342: could u call her first and tell her whats up
fineblackguy342: she mite think i'm a rapist or somethin
Caenum: hahaha, I havent spoken to her in eons.
Caenum: well thats good. arent you?
fineblackguy342: no
Caenum: well then whats the use.
fineblackguy342: who do i ask 4?

at this point I went through a panic and figured that Ra-8wjerpjdf could go into a vengefull fit and throw my number round to the wind and have any number of aroused black men calling me for fellatio or buggery. So I denied the fact that he wanted to add me to his list and quickly went offline.

there is the possibility that this " fine black man " is one of the slugs fucking with me.

In such an event. I laugh at you.

Using the strife of the colored folk to get action.

I pity you.
So I approached the googlism thing with half interest, until I typed in James name and read this one:

james collins is one of the many weak links in the chain


That gave Steven and I a good laugh.
James, I have much to say on the subject of well... you. But first, I have to publicly make fun of Steve and share the happenings of yesterday evening and the evening before.

Two nights ago Steven calls me and says "Wanna play Pool", I say yes, but we need one more, my girlfriend was unable to go so we instead snagged one of her friends from the campus, Steven and her hit it off, and when Steven found out that her, my girlfriend, and I were going to Korn/Disturbed/Trust Company the next night, he decided he would go as well. Fast forward twenty four hours.


Anyway, I'm sitting in Courtney's dorm room now waiting for him to get up... but I don't think he has any real motivation to do so. Regardless, Steven, when you read this: "You're welcome."
Instead of the actual military, join the merchant marines....not quite as much BS, and they pay fairly well.
Googlism for: andrew morgan

andrew morgan is on the top row with a pipe in his mouth
andrew morgan is the lead investigator
andrew morgan is a former pupil of the high school of dundee and a graduate of dundee university
andrew morgan is the unwilling student of a course in "space
andrew morgan is a twenty
andrew morgan is chairperson of the
andrew morgan is the chairperson of the association's wales advisory committee
andrew morgan is a project officer with the office of government records
andrew morgan is an im specialist at industry canada responsible for the delivery of the department’s corporate e
andrew morgan is keyboardist for the reggae and world music sensation
andrew morgan is a painter's painter
andrew morgan is removed from the s&g dabideen supermarket in princes town
andrew morgan is the chairperson of the proiv executive user group
andrew morgan is living his dream
andrew morgan is considering doing a pam specification; dan quinlan verified glibc is all free software
andrew morgan is the ultimate winner in garuda’s ‘great bali giveaway’
andrew morgan is a young man with aspirations of manifesting material wealth and pleasure
andrew morgan is keen that
andrew morgan is also hoping for after a dropped sitter from mcnee probably cost andrew his a grade spot
andrew morgan is accused of driving
andrew morgan is the affable manager
andrew morgan is ready to assist students from northwest arkansas and oklahoma as well as missionary kids
andrew morgan is my name
andrew morgan is acting in fox v spousal
andrew morgan is extremely good at such action sequences
andrew morgan is a postdoctoral researcher in theoretical high energy physics at ucla
andrew morgan is rumored to have said
andrew morgan is the main contact person if you want to get involved in any of the projects please contact him

all these things that i am...must be doing weird things in my sleep
Rules, Regulations - and Really ... now.

somewhat of a defense for myself - normally in such instances would I even defend myself? I do not know. I do not know much of anything, now-a-days, but these things I do know :

1. Running around in the morning does help one to be more active - for not only does it make one physically awake, but also puts one in the mindset of " going somewhere " or - better yet : " DOING SOMETHING " rather than sitting around, or sleeping

2. VITAMINS WORK - I tested them out myself and in comparison, without vitamins normal everyday activites may drag - however with vitamins it, instead of dragging one down - it merely takes away the energy that would normally be supplied with the vitamin - leaving one with more energy what have you. Having more energy supplies one to do more things, as ... we'll say - running around in the morning.

3. Having shorter hair is to no real extent asides from the fact that my showers are taking too long now.

4. and as for the military.

I can follow orders rather efficiently. I have come to the stark realization that nothing has any real reason or purpose to it. So, dig a hole in the ground for no other reason asides from digging a hole in the ground? Sure, why not? I make boxes for a living - there is no real difference. How could I not tell someone in a higher rank than me to " fuck off " so to speak? Because it would be my job not to. And - given time, I would have power : it would be me telling people to dig holes in the ground, why? BECUASE IT DOESNT MAKE ANY FUCKIN' DIFFERENCE. As for four hours of sleep? Dear, not to be rude or anything - But I use to work twelve hour shifts and have trouble sleeping - I'd get four to six hours of sleep every day. It was easy. Much easier than these eight hour shifts Im on now where I get seven to nine hours of good ol rest.

The running. The vitamins. The soon to do pushups+situps+(jumpingjacks, never thought of that!)+weights. The re-arrangement of my room and removal of a bunkbed to be replaced with a smaller bed in which I will make every morning and maintain to a military fashion ( my father was a first seargent, he shall show me how things are done ) - these will all be self - tests to see if I have what it takes.

I can tell you now, I do.

Because I have something inside of me which burns twice as bright as anyone else I've ever met.
Its special and it wants to do something for a change.
It wants to be alive and it wants to make a difference.

It is sick and tired of the way that I have been treating my life.
My living style has become a drain onto it and now it is speaking up.

And now?

Now im going to listen to it.

November 19, 2002

So we're playing at, and I decide to randomly start looking up people from the board. I must post about this later! Meanwhile, I entered Jeff Paulino, and got:
jeff paulino is a work study student with the program and a university of washington student majoring in psychology
ill thank you to know that it was I who wrote TZA in that bathroom.

do you recall?

it was the day we (me yuo and jimmoi i think were the only ones) went to the hospital because my mom had almost died birthing a child.....and they made you guys wait in the appropriately named WAITING room whilst i viewd this small thing. and they had pamphlets that warned you

whenever you have sex, dont forget yourAPE

dust thou have recollection?

in fact my own father, having been formerly stationed at that hospital..from time to time would go"WOW ZACH YOUR TZA THING IS BIGGER THAN I THOUGHT...i used to think it was just you and your friends..but someoen wrote it in the bathroom at the hospital"

now i am watching"from russia with love"
two chicks are fighting to the death. i hope the ugly one wins.

Not to be rude or anything James, but no matter how many laps you run, how many vitamins you take, no matter how short you cut your hair (which is just a really weird thought either way) I cannot imagine you going into any kind of militant force. They have rules and yell at you and you HAVE to do what they say instead of telling them to fuck off. Now, although I know that you have changed signifigantly over the last two years (mainly, from what I know, because you got a job and took the upon yourself to buy a car of all things, and pay on it reguarly, I think) I still cannot see you being able to have orders screamed at you and actually doing what they say. The other reason...I cannot see you being capeable of getting four hours of sleep a night, getting up before dawn, running for miles, doing pushups, jumping jacks, sit-ups, lifting weights, etc., etc.

However, you did say that you see this in your far away future which gives you plenty of time to change your mind. If you actually somehow manage to go through with it though, more power to you...I suppose.

BTW, it was a v-port cable not a vbox cable, but thank you for checking for me anyhow :)

so CHRIS, an operator at work - is at the hospital ( maddigan ) and is waiting for his father to finally bite it.
die. keel over, kick the bucket.

and he has to take a shit.
so he goes to the bathroom.

and guess who he is reminded of?




ha. ha. ha.
lots of stuff to say today ... whee.

1. Justin + Breanna : down at the fred meyer in Puyallup/Graham ( closest to puyallup ) there are two boxes of cables : one has a bunch of red+yellow+black wires which I cannot recall the name of : the other is a box-looking thing called an " RF CABLE " or whatnot and I read into it which stated : " WILL CONNECT X-BOX TO ANY TELEVISION " - but it wasnt a " VBOX " or whatnot - so yeah. Just figured I'd drop that since the question was asked and I happened to be looking in the area. I also went online to make sure I had " RF CABLE " correct and never did I see anything mentioned about " VBOX " cables anywhere - maybe the name is mistooken? I found a variety of different levels of " A/V XBOX " cables. Doobie doo.

2. LOOSE SLUGS ( DOT ) COM EMAIL ADDRESSES - you want'em, you email me with a username and you've got the hook-up. That simple, because I figured a way to give'm out to ya'll without having to comprimise your security. Whee. Go ahead and email ZACHO@LOOSE-SLUGS.COM and he'll get it.

3. JIMMOI CALLED last night and told me something funny - it was this : everyone knows how he'll be down here for christmas. Things arent going that well for him - because someone was caught with cigarettes in his " bay " - and the thing about " bays " is that he's in charge of his. And now he's responsible for the fact this person had cigarettes - and that means 30 days in ( some place ) - which ( some place ) is the equivilant of " military prison " - however he said that they searched the room at 5pm and they are only suppose to do room-inspections pre 3pm - so if they try to make him stay for the duration in which he would normally be leaving - he's going to fight it. Funny.

4. I AM GOING TO RE-ORGANIZE the board - how you ask? Well I got to thinking, at work, about how I would be able to include my work buddies ( Joe / Dennis ) - into the board without them getting the isolation that most of the online join-ee's got. I figured it out. Im going to create another persona called : " MR. Q " - and what Mr. Q will do - is every sunday he'll post a Question for everyone on the board to ponder / post about / answer / give their opinion on. Now mind you it wont always be a question - it could be a news article or something that had recently happened or just something blah blah blah - anywho - so every week there will be a " Discussion topic " for the board ( which although not everyone MUST follow - but will be a helping hand to those who " dont post because they dont have anything to post " ) - now they will. How these questions or articles will be decided will be that I am going to make an address - something like or something of the like and then we can all send our questions / suggestions to that - I will randomly pick one of those each week ( or choose one, whichever may be more compelling ) - and blammo, there we have it. so it wont just be me who puts up a question : you guys can send them in when you've got an idea or want your fellow slugs' opinions. WHEE. Whot'chall think'uv dat on'?

5. SOMETHING IS CHANGING INSIDE OF ME - this is rather blunt but it is true. Soon I will be cutting my hair and getting a new wardrobe. Come this thanksgiving " time off " of work Im going to take out the entertainment center in my room - and the bunkbeds, and go out and buy myself a bed. I will keep my room clean. I will also, instead of sleeping in before work - wake up early and do laps around my block, be it rain or shine. I will take vitamins. And - last but not least : While I am paying off my vehicle I will be going to the community college to either get my GED or my HIGHSCHOOL DIPLOMA and am seriously considering, then, enrolling myself into the military - something along the lines of the marines. But that is way far down the line - and I dont even know if my change will be that drastic.

6. JOSEPH SAYS to me : " Hey - Im having a new-years-party at my house, you're invited if you'd like to come. " -
JAMES SAYS TO JOSEPH : " When is it? " - and then he shrugs his head in shame.

sometimes its best to think before you ask a question.