January 31, 2004

this is another test.
if it works, you'll she the usage statistics for the website ( total ) for the month of january.

Damn you bradbury, now i play snood.
Too, toooo much.
GreenEyedFox16: i hung out with jeff yesterday
zak p o w: did he look like a homo?
GreenEyedFox16: nope
zak p o w: yes he did, liar.
GreenEyedFox16: he did call his chapstick lip gloss
zak p o w: . . .
you see.
it is the unintentional clips that are funny.
Um...yeah Steve, Caddies can fucking move.

Besides...your Celica isn't all that fast compared to a lot of the new stuff out there. Especially if you have a car load of people.

January 30, 2004

I lost two races last night.
One to an old man in a Cadillac...where we all looked at the car as he sped by me saying "....holy shit" and another to a rental car =
On the other hand I also got to drive a 2004 Monte Carlo SS yesterday. Now that was fun shit =P An automatic, yet I still managed to spin out by accident twice..and damn that fucker was fast.

January 29, 2004

this is a test.
if it works, you should be able to see the top 20 of 307 total search strings for the month of January

if interested ( its some funny shit ) - click here

January 28, 2004

[jackass]

So how are the forums going Mr. Collins?

Bah. Forums... Bah.

Anyway, I found that I had a little extra free time today so I decided to go through some of the video footage I've shot over the last couple of years.

Wow.

There are some rather lustrious nuggets in all that footage...

and some really scary stuff involving jOe and his brothers.

You thought Animal Planet was wild.
On the topic of the girl auctioning her virginity for £10,000:



Rosie is in a lesbian relationship with lover Jess Cameron, a 26-year-old operations manager.

Jess said: "I fully support Rosie just as long as she's safe.

"I won't be there in the room when it happens, but I'll be nearby. I feel angry that Rosie has to be in this position at all.

Power

"It's ridiculous that the government allows this to happen. With an attitude like this, Labour shouldn't be in power." Jess, from south London, added: "I would find the whole thing hard if Rosie was going to sleep with another woman.

"But I know she doesn't care about men, so if it has to be done, I am right behind her."

Rosie added: "I'm not sexually attracted to men, but if sex is natural to so many people, it can't be that bad.

"I've never had a sexual experience with a man, so I have no idea what it would be like.

"Having sex with a woman is very intimate and is all about the mind.

"But I'm not doing this for my own enjoyment...I'm doing this so I can do my degree without struggling financially."





I hope she discovers how much she loves sex with guys, turns straight...dumps the lesbian girlfriend, and marries the guy who wins the auction.

That would make my day.

January 21, 2004

sad sad day.

One of the greatest movies ever made "Guess Whos Coming to Dinner?" where Sidney Poitier became the first Negro actor to win an academy award is being remade. this time, its with a white person coming to dinner with ---wait for it----wait for it ---waiiiiit--- sidney poitier's part is being played by ashton kutcher.

ashton kutcher? what the fuck?!?

i guess you guys arent shocked. you shouldnt be. this guy is the hottest thing in show bizzzzz since R Kelly's kiddie porn. he almost got he part of Batman, and is still up for Superman. He will also be starring in Dukes of Hazzard with Paul Walker. YESH!!! manoman, im glad im alive in this day and age with Ashton Kutcher being the hottest thing since Mystakal's Rape Video!

if you havent reliesed by now im being sarcastic. he's a piece of dogshit actor. he was so bad, cameron crowe started filming Elizabethtown with him, and actually stoped production, and kicked him off the set because he is such a piece of shit actor. of course, cam crowe is replacing him with orlando bloom, who can't act his way out of a nutsack, but hey-he's better than ashton. i think.

but once again (getting back to the main topic) this only goes to show that nothing is sacred. nothing.

anwho. sanchez used that budlight playback thingie i sent a few of you and put a picture of the huffster on it. so if you folks wanna see what the huffster, click on this

LINK
Jimmoi, you conservative fuckwad, go to the forums.
[353080]

One of the funniest things in the world is to listen to Jimmy bitch about work and about the people he works with.

Case in point: That time that Jimmy came down from Alaska, when Mr. Collins was still living with Aaron and Anthony and Steve.

That was funny. Cause there is Jimmy talking about a guy named Sanchez and his car that sucks and how he tries to race with Eclipses and stuff.

I have this idea that once I get a great job, I'm gonna buy spy-type survelliance gear and plant little bugs in places so I can listen to audio and study it psychologically.

It sounds like fun. It sounds exciting. It sounds like it would be funny to listen to once I get it all done and post it.

Ahhh, dreams.

January 20, 2004

[after thought]

Here's something scary to consider...

Bob Barker is always telling people to spay and neuter your dogs and cats... you know, cause he's interested in controlling the dog and cat population...

so by that line of logic... would he be a frequent masturbater, so as to aid his cause? Why doesn't he tell everyone else at the end to frequently masturbate as well? I think he should.

Pretty damn shocking and scary huh? Betcha you're gonna think about it if you ever are told to "come on down".

January 19, 2004

or just a lot of people thinking about kittens while they mastuerbate


there's a whole lot of dead kittens for you.
Done and done.
If ye loveth jesus, ye must kill a kitten.

January 18, 2004

What the fuck are YOU talking about James?

I didn't say anything about the music. That's one of the only things that I liked about the movie. I love Danny Elfman. Furthermore, I realize that movie was based on a book, and i'm glad that it was on par with the book. However, does that mean that the book was well written? Absolutely not. My point was that i was expecting something spectacular and i got something sub-par.

I forgot that Tim was doing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I am excited for that. and Johnny Depp. yum. James...one question for you...have you ever known me to be dark or gothic? That's definitely not what i was concerned about. I think you just like to disagree with me becuase you just love me so much and you don't know how to deal with it. Or you're just an ass. My vote is for the latter.
What the fuck are you talking about bonnie?

Director =! Writer. The film was based on a book - and reviews from most people who've read the book say that the movie is actually on par with the book. Very few book-to-movies get that sort of compliment. The music was done by Danny Elfman - which, in my personal opinion, he always does an absolute superb job in setting the tone of the film. Especially Spectre. And yes, the guy who played the son was a terrible actor - but he really wasn't the main character - but man oh man, he two people who played the main character : ( Ewan McGregor and Alber Finney ) - that was some swell stuff.

Lastly - do you not remember Tim Burton's last film? Oh wait I don't because I never bothered to see it, because it was PLANET OF THE APES. I wouldn't see it because I knew it was going to be shit, reguardless of director because Director =! Writer. What I am assuming your dislike for this film is based on is its total lack of DARK, GOTHIC, AND MYSTERIOUS wonder you can find in the plethora of other Burton's films. His next project is announced to be Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - man ... that'll be something, and I'm hoping he'll take it in the direction he did with Big Fish - and leaves all the "OMG BLACK IS MY FAVORITE COLOR" at the door. Johnny Depp plays willy wonka. mmm.
I saw Big Fish last night. I was sadly disspointed. I love Tim Burton. Well, I loved him, and I will continue to love his past work...but damn the man for that movie. The character who was supposed to play the son was a horrible actor and not even semi-convincing in his part. I'm pissed because I thought it was going to be this beautiful, mind-expanding movie. *Note to self* There probably aren't going to be anymore beautiful, mind-expanding movies for the rest of my life. I should just suffice with Along Came Polly. sonofabitch.

January 17, 2004

Man oh man.
Today I damn near got arrested for soo many things.
One of which was street racing down River Road. Would have won too (Damn it was a good race) but we ended up having to split off different directions to get the hell away from the cop.... =My back hurts.
Imma sleep now.

January 16, 2004

SOMEONE USE THE GOD DAMNED FORUM!
I CANNOT SEE IF THINGS ARE WORKING THE WAY THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO BE WORKING IF NOBODY PAVES THE WAY,
SO TO SPEAK.

GOD DAMNIT.
INVITE YOUR FRIENDS TO JOIN
INVITE YOUR GRANDMOTHER TO JOIN
INVITE YOUR FRIEND'S FRIENDS TO JOIN

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
"And i think to myself what a wonderful world..."

Something ive learned....never attempt homework drunk or past three am...and especially not when you combine the two
[12.3]

I got to level 17 of that damned game before I had to go off and take care of stuff... and I didn't get to save my score... though I know it didn't beat james.

And yes, the numbers tend to be harder... not a surprise given the layout of a keyboard and that most people don't typically use numbers.

And not surprising that Mr. Collins would have a higher score, considering what he does on his typical day...

Damn you.

That's all i had for now... i know, short post... but i got lots on my mind...

And I hate michael. That's right... I haven't forgotten... I will crush you into dust one day Mr. James Clone.

January 15, 2004

soma buspar kzk: so i played that game
soma buspar kzk: with the sharks
soma buspar kzk: and i'm fucking horrible at numbers
soma buspar kzk: those pirhanas
soma buspar kzk: they just eat me up
zak p o w: everyone says that
zak p o w: dude.
zak p o w: i just whoop all ass
zak p o w: http://slugs.genericwebhost.com/images/typershark/
soma buspar kzk: i hope you're making a quick descent into hell as those asses are being whooped
soma buspar kzk: yeah, i saw
zak p o w: hahaha
zak p o w: you see these letters that you're reading right now?
zak p o w: I've typed them out exactly two minutes before this conversation
zak p o w: the sync is pretty difficult, being that two minutes before this conversation we weren't having this conversation.
zak p o w: but i type them out so fast it takes them two minutes to catch up.
soma buspar kzk: heh
soma buspar kzk: you raelly are a skilled skilled man
zak p o w: so if i were to have typed this right now, with this conversation - you'd get it two minutes later and it would sound all stupid.

January 14, 2004

TYPERSHARK


click the link above this.
play the game on the skill level "50"
see if you can beat my score.
motherfuckers.

my score can be found : right here.
fun fun fun fun fun game.
magic day sucked.

anywho. tomorrow is pay day. paaaaaay daaaaay. monies. yay.

i really have nothing to post about. eddie pissed on a cop car. i got kicked out of a bar. we commited a hit and run b/c i dont have insurance. eddie backed into a car, and i told him to "DRIVE MOTHERFUCKER DRIVE!!!" and payton told us to pull over to look at the damage and i said "BITCH! I AINT GOT NO INSURANCE!!!" it was pretty funny. i guess youd had to have been thar. fuck you guys.

one thing thats funny about jeff's post is haley joel osment (whos white) playing the cuban and frankie muniz (who is hispanic) as the white kid. i guess im the only that found that funny...


i feel dizzy right now. i think im going to go to sick call later today. i hate sick call. all they do is make you sit around for 4 hours and than give you ibprofin (i cant speul)and then tell me to go back to werk. fuckers.

im eating sunflower seeds. takes me back to when i werked at the boxfactory
that or back when i use to do black tar heroine.

apparently my tdy to hawaii got nixed.

January 13, 2004

[The Solution]

First off... I think there might be something wrong with Jimmy.

Secondly, and far more important... I have noticed this air of animosity toward each other with regards to movies... some we like, some we hate, some we can't agree on...

So to fix this, and restore the balance of the board, I have come up with a great solution...

A Solution so powerful, that it might fix Hollywood even...

This solution is to create the WORST movie ideas imaginable... movie ideas so bad, that nobody will want to watch them... at the same time, I will thus be able to hold the rights to these movies, such that if Hollywood ever tried to make them, i could sue them and stop production...

Genius, isn't it? I thought so.

So to that end, I present to you all the first of these great WORST MOVIES EVER IMAGINABLE!, kicking off with:
Kart-OFF!


Premise: A young Cuban boy, new to the country, must enter a cut-throat national go-cart racing competition in order to win the respect of his people and his new school peers, become accepted by his new homeland, and earn enough money to pay for his new life so that his mother doesn't have to be a prostitute.

Setting: The Meanstreets of the Slums of Miami.

Major Characters/Actors That (or possibly will) Portray Them:

  • Jonny Tito/Haley Joel Osment: Jonny Tito is the little ten year old Cuban boy who is new to the country of America. He speaks broken english and the other kids in the neighborhood want nothing to do with him. He even becomes oustracized by the Cuban kids when they see his mother trolling the streets as a prostitute.

    Haley Joel Osment will be cast and given Cuban-paint to look like a Cuban boy. Because of his phenomenal role in the Sixth Sense, he is the perfect choice to play an emotionally unstable ten year old boy of Cuban origin.


  • Marie Santo Tito/Jennifer Lopez-Affleck: Marie Tito is the mother to Jonny Tito. She finds herself abandoned in Miami after her husband dies shortly after getting off the boat from pneumonia. Uneducated, Marie Tito finds herself forced into prostitution to pay foor rent, food, and little Jonny Tito's love of pokémon cards. However, she often comes home beaten from her pimp.

    Jennifer Lopez-Affleck will play her as the estranged but tough-as-nails immigrant woman.


  • José Cruz Tito/Ben Affleck: José Tito is the father of Jonny Tito. He dies after getting off the boat from pneumonia he got while on the boat to America.

    Ben Affleck will play José as is part of Jennifer Lopez's contract where she will do at least five movies a year with her husband. He will also be given Cuban-paint and will play his role with a Cuban accent.


  • Juan Paólo/Vin Diesel: Juan Paólo is the pimp who constantly roughs up Marie Tito, who works for him. He constantly tries to make sexual advances on Marie Tito but comes up empty-handed, after which he flies into a rage and drives off fast.

    A perfect role for up-and-coming star Vin Diesel.


  • Jesse Paólo/Tom Felton: Jesse is the son to Juan and is the title holder of the X-treme Go-Kart Championship, the biggest and baddest Go-Kart Championship of all, which is held in Miami. He hangs with an unruly pack and though not known to anyone else, is not above cheating as a way of winning. He makes it his goal to undermine and destroy Jonny Tito's dreams of a better life.

    Tom Felton, who plays Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter series, is perfect for this role as a bad-ass ten year old with little to no scruples. With the right mix of Cuban-paint, he will look the part perfectly.


  • Kristy Janine Paólo/Hilary Duff: Kristy Paólo is the adopted daughter of Juan Paólo. She falls in love with Jonny Tito, but is forbidden from seeing him. Often times she defies her adopted father to see her ten-year old lover.

    Hilary Duff will play this role as great as she played in Agent Cody Banks. Because Kristy is adopted and a white girl, she will not require the Cuban-paint.


  • Kevin Trent/Frankie Muniz: The gruff but loveable thirteen year old Kevin Trent was the previous X-treme Go-Kart winning of years back. However he is too old to be a go-kart racing and thus resigns and is forgotten over the years. He eventually uses his knowledge of go-karting to help out Jonny Tito, though at first hesitantly. The two eventually become like brothers.

    Who else but Frankie Muniz could play a better gruff and unhappily forgotten thirteen year old boy?


Summary:
The story begins with the little Jonny Tito sitting in class, trying to talk to some of the other school kids, who quickly make fun of him and call his mom a whore. He doesn't understand why, and goes off to cry in the library. There we are shown flashbacks of the trip to America. He later goes home and finds a crude drawing of his mother looking like a prostitute. Not longer after we find out that indeed his mother is working as a prostitute, making Jonny Tito cry, and want to throw away his latest Pikachu collector card. Instead he runs away from home with tears in his eyes. He then stumbles into a backaway where practice go-kart racing is taking place. He watches mesmorized. One of the onlookers makes comments, and it is revealed that they are practicing for go-cart racing season. The onlooker, tells Tito that there are plenty of cash prizes to win at the end of each race, with the largest cash-prize of 250,000 dollars given to the winner of the X-treme Go-Kart Championship at the end of the season. Tito thinks to himself that this could be the way to save his mother from prostitution.

Tito begins to plan, learning first what it takes to be a champion. He does research and finds the old previous winner, Kevin Trent - who turns out to be the onlooker from the street! At first Trent refuses to teach him the ways of Go-carting... but eventually decides to help the boy, seeing something of himself in the younger lad.

So the two train and begin to build the new racer, the Cuban SEA-GAR! Despite the car's excellent Cuban/German Engineering, Jonny loses the races he enters.

Meanwhile, things are getting worse. At school, more and more kids are finding out his mom is a whore. Then a boy named Jesse Paólo begins making fun of him for trying to race a go-cart to save his mom from being a prostitute. They all laugh and make fun of him.

At home, Jonny is saddened to see his mother come home one day with bruises. It is because of her pimp, Juan Paólo, who is constantly taking most of her money away that she gets as a prostitute. He says that only if she sleeps with him will he let her keep more, but she continues to refuse. However, the landlord wants his rent and she doesn't know where to turn.

Jonny goes running off, crying in the public library, when a young girl walks up to him and they start talking. She comforts him and they go on a walk around the town. She says her name is Kristy and she knows what it is like to lose a father. Her mother was killed and she was adopted by a pimp named Juan, who wants to use her as a prostitute when she gets a little older. She doesn't know who her true father is, but wishes she could find him. Jonny is saddened but vows to find a way to save her and his mother.

With his new determination, and dedication, Jonny goes back to Kevin Trent and they train some more, and begin winning new races. Jesse becomes worried and begins spreading rumors about Jonny's mom, but this only makes Jonny madder, and he ends up winning more races. He eventually places into the X-treme Go-Kart Championship.

Despite Jesse's attempts to win, and attempts to cheat with the help of his gang, Jonny wins the title and the prize money. He then heads home to tell his mom the good news and give her the money... only when he gets there, Juan Paólo is there at his home! Oh no! He is about to force himself on his mother. Juan takes the prize money and laughs mercilessly at Jonny. Now his hopes are dashed!

But just then a figure emerges from the shadows... it's José Tito, Jonny's dad. As it turns out, he wasn't dead, just very sick. A Cuban healer found him and nursed him back to health. At first he had amnesia but with time his memories came back to him. José Tito punches Juan, but Juan pulls a gun on him. Thinking quickly, Jonny throws his prize trophy at Juan, who flinches, giving José and Marie enough time to both punch Juan, which sends him stumbling backwards and out of the apartment window. Juan dies from smashing into his own car, which explodes and burns Jesse Paólo's go-cart in the process (it had been tied to the back of the car).

Jonny uses some of his prize money to track down Kristy's real father who lives in Tennesee. He didn't know that his daughter was still alive. They are reunited and Jonny's family moves up there too, where they all live happily. Jonny becomes a national pro-go-cart racer.


Isn't it just awesomely spectacular?! This movie is the epitomé of horrid wretchedness thrown onto an unsuspecting populace. However, now thanks to me, it will never see the light of day!

Celebrate, you ungrateful bastards.
today is magic day.
yeeup. maaaagic day.

i still feel like throwing up. and my body is sore. last night i slept at Denali. the shitty dorms. they decided to remodel our dorms, so they forced us to move to denali. the toliet over flows. no hot water. no heat. a terrific living experience. for a month im there.

but its ok. because today, its magic day.

MAAAAGIC DAAAAY.
[versus]

I wouldn't say that the versus movies are necessarily proof that we have run out of movie ideas... though i'm not disagreeing with that belief... because it rather seems to be true.

However, in the case of versus movies, I recall thinking way back how cool it would be to see certain people go up against other people... I don't know about you all, but back in school we used to do it all the time whenever we would compare our favorite superheros, and sometimes even our favorite movies...

of course, usually that line of thinking was saved for comic books and cartoons... but still...

The whole wave of Versus movies is part that, and part the whole wave effect that Hollywood always seems to see. When Matrix came out, there was Thirteenth Floor. When Twister came out, there were a shitload of TV specials about Tornadoes. When Tombstone came out, there was that Kevin Costner one... what the hell was it called... damn. Either way... its just a thing.

I wonder what 2005 will bring. I'm going out on a limb and saying that the blockbuster summer will see a theme of cartoons to movies... starting with the long anticipated Simpsons movie... that will suck but people will see.

(Note: there is no Simpsons movie planned that I know of, this was more just one of my random and often wrong predictions for the future... so all you people who went to Google and typed in Simpsons movie and ended up here at our lovely site... HAHAHAH you suck!)

January 12, 2004

sanchez just called jackson a theiving negro for taking his m&ms. i thought that was the funniest thing i heard since aaron thinking alien 3 was the best of the series.
moving on.

question: when have i ever just label a movie as "sucking" without giving any reasons?

as for avp. when i first heard about this movie, i thought it was going to be the best sci-fi action ever ever. two of my favorite movie franchises together, yippy. but after reading the plot, seeing screen shots, watching the teaser trailer, the reading the script...this is going to be a terrible fucking movie.

Freddy vs Jason. Cheesy. Campy. good? yes. i really enjoyed this movie. it was funny. it really appealed to fans of both movies. it was great. not the best movie ever, or even the year, but i was enjoyable. It was suppose to be cheesy. Both Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street were more or less campy films. thats what made then fun. But AVP shouldnt be cheesy or campy. Alien wasnt cheesy. Aliens wasnt campy. alien 3 wasn't funny (or interesting or exciting but it was scarey-i'll give you that). Preditor had Arnold lines, but other than that, it wasnt cheesy. But watching the trailer. reading the plotline. and finding out that Paul Anderson is directing it. Theres no saving it, unless jesus came down, bitch smack Paul Anderson and takes over directing the movie.

and whats with these One franchise vs another movies? Freddy vs Jason. Alien vs Preditor. Batman vs Superman. i stated it many times n the board. we have used up all the good ideas for movies.

moving on to something completely different. i feel sick. i feel like throwing up. i dont know why. it sucks. yeup.
alrighty. back to werk.


[When Boredom Strikes]

Let me explain something about myself.

Whenever I get bored... I get inspired to do different things. So in honor of that way of behaving, I have decided to nominate this here board in the 2004 Bloggies, or whatever the hell they are called.

Mwahahahaha... isn't that just grandiosiciously awesome? I thought so. Actually I thought... "Hahahahah Mr. Collins will just love this," as I grinned maliciously and rubbed my hands together.

I don't expect us to win anything... considering the board is crappy half the time, with some golden shiny nuggets once in awhile. A picture of Steve's pooh notwithstanding of course.

I wish I had thought of this back in 2001 when James and I had that glorious post-war. And then there was the rebellion of 2001... or was that 2002. Ah who knows.

To be honest, I'm surprised the board survived past 2003. It didn't seem like it would for awhile.

If I get any of the jobs that I've been applying to, I was actually thinking of donating some money into the board... how's that for ya. And certainly there will be picture posts again... because I can repair my computer, and get my Photoshoppin' skills back on track.

And add some wonderful video to it.

Hmm, I just realized... I should go back and fix that length, of give james that "Will you be my Zach-o" song, to link, so when those judge peoples come through to check out the board, they can listen to my wonderful renderition of Iglesias' song.

Mwahahah...

Ahhh, that felt good.
[Workin' for the devil]

I was thinking... in all this job searching fun-craziness... I could always try this position:

Group: Broadcasting
Division: KCPQ/KTWB-TV
Category: Broadcasting/Television


KCPQ/KTWB-TV, Seattle is seeking a Research Assistant to assist the Research Director in providing information to all departments as necessary to aid in maximizing revenue from sales of commercial airtime. No phone calls please. EOE.

Please submit resume' to:
Recruiter
KCPQ/KTWB-TV
1813 Westlake Ave. N.
Seattle, WA 98109
Fax 206-674-1344


Now don't laugh. I recently started thinking of all the other things I could do instead of Psychology... and Journalism kinda sounds like fun. Now its a real entry position job... so I don't need to much Journalism background, just office and research background. That I have plenty of. Then I think... it's Q13 Fox.

shudder.

We all know and "love" Q13, don't we. But still, its a paying position, and it's in journalism (if you could call it that). And frankly, it would be more fun than building boxes or sitting in sub-zero temperatures with a bayonet and a plane, probably even more fun than working for a school district. It's gotta be more fun than stocking shelves and listening to half-bald women complaining that Kmart has everything cheaper. Right?

Right? Evil if it is a pact with the devil... right?

Heh, maybe I will apply to them, just to see, y'know. Just to see.
my synopsis of pleasantville in chat-form
ak p o w: saw all of pleasantville
zak p o w: man that movie left a sour taste in my mouth.
zak p o w: too many unasnwered questions.
Self DeNihil: I didn't think you'd like that movie.
zak p o w: and it didn't delve quite into just how shitty the real world can be. just focused on " OH PRETTY COLORS AND FEELINGS! "
Self DeNihil: I thought it was cool, I don't know why masturbating in the bathtub causes forestry to catch on fire.
zak p o w: it was dated man.
zak p o w: sweaters and poodle skirts are hot
zak p o w: yeah the first half, about breaking taboo
zak p o w: that was fuckin' hawt
Self DeNihil: lol
zak p o w: the later half about breaking the mold, feeling emotions, being unique and special in your very own way...
zak p o w: meeeeh.
zak p o w: I wanted his whore of a sister to get pregnant and not know what to do - his parents to get a divorce and have a terrible child-custody battle, and i was fully expecting the mayor to start a concentration camp and start lynching some 'colored folk '
zak p o w: but over all it was a nice ' art film '
zak p o w: just that my ' art film ' would have been filled with much more gruesome facts of life.
zak p o w: for instance, they never dealt with death.
zak p o w: nobody in pleasantville had ever died, OH SHIT WATCH OUT FOR THAT FUCKING BUS - what now?
Self DeNihil: lol.
zak p o w: the imagery of little suzie poking at her dead father in the road
zak p o w: daddy? daddy why are you sleeping?
zak p o w: child abuse, child mollestation
zak p o w: oh, and drugs.
zak p o w: 'whats outside of pleasantville?' Johnny Feelgood!
zak p o w: the old folks were asking " whats next? " I was yelling at the screen " COCAIN MOTHERFUCKERS! SHOOTEN UP SOME HEROINE, TOKE SOME OF THAT MARIJUANA, MANG "
zak p o w: oh yes, my pleasantville degregation would have met such lows that there would be no distinguishable difference from pleasnantville and the real world.
Self DeNihil: lol
zak p o w: and the tv-guy who gets them into the program in the first place would be fucking pissed.
zak p o w: he'd start fucking around with the television.
zak p o w: kind of like that one show
zak p o w: that i forgot the name of
zak p o w: where that guy gets sucked into the tv dish
zak p o w: and its hell
Self DeNihil: That movie is a great one to watch and make fun of.
Self DeNihil: Dammit, waht's that called.
zak p o w: mass murderers and serial rapists would make their apperance just after vehicular homicide and aggrivated assault.
zak p o w: Stay tuned i believe
zak p o w: or Tuned something
zak p o w: http://imdb.com/title/tt0105466/
Self DeNihil: yes... that's it.
zak p o w: i was so expecting the old guy to start fucking around with them like that
zak p o w: what do i get? a fucking smile like " YOU DID GOOD SON " and driving away?
zak p o w: pff.
zak p o w: boy i wish i lived in the fifties.

January 11, 2004

Nihilist Bear
Nihilist Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla



he he he
[bampf]

First and only post of SUNDAY, right here! Yay...

K, novelty wearing off.

This has been a rather drab little day, hasn't it. Nobody posting, nothing interesting going on. It's as if today seems to have this sort of paused quality to it.

In other news...

there is this town in Virginia called Killington... what a great name eh? Anyway, they want to succeed and be apart of New Hampshire.

I wish we could do that. Let's have Roy succeed and become a part of Oregon. Seriously. That would make that small little town popular overnight. Oregon law has no sales tax. Do you know how quickly people will go to build in Roy. Overnight I'm telling ya. Then people will flock there to buy stuff. Even if it's crappy stuff. They will be it. Why? Because no sales tax. How wonderful is that for the future of Roy?

We can do just like Killington.

Ungh, my head hurts today.

January 10, 2004

[TV Shows]

To get us off the movie topic for a bit, I present the TOP FIVE TV SHOWS for ME!


  • The Simpsons: Homer and Bart. What can I say. It's fuckin' funny and its also enjoyable watching again and again. One day it will end, but not right now. It's also the longest running cartoon of all time.


  • Seinfeld: One of the few shows where all of the characters were entertaining and equally likeable. The only sad part was the final episode, which was a bit of a let down. I like recap shows, but they had the recapping episode just prior to the final episode, which made it a bit of a let down. I did enjoy the final scene where they were all in a small jail cell for some reason.


  • Saturday Night Live: Gave birth a string of actors that we all find funny. The newer ones aren't as great as some of the older ones, but over all its still great. Sad that Will Ferrel left.


  • X-Files: It was good and entertaining, up until Mulder left the show. And the little tributes to other things were equally entertaining. Such as the "Plan 9 From Outer Space" video that was playing in the background of one of the episodes.


  • NewsRadio: This one is most definitely a personal choice, as I can't think of that many other people I know who liked this show. Still, it was funny. Phil Hartman and the guy who played the news director, I can't remember his name at the moment, had funny on air arguments. I was sad when Phil Hartman died, cause I knew this show would die as well. It pretty much did.


Yeeup.

I suppose I could have said Cheers, or the Flintstones as alternatives to some of the ones above... but you know what... i didn't rightly feel like it.
I was going to make a post.

Then I forgot.

So instead I'm just going to say:

James you're a homosexual.
[movies of the elite and powerful]

I own Road Trip and Scary Movie. I think I understand the concept between a classic and good movie, and a good flick... or an entertaining one. I'm sure that all of us do. Any of us who enjoyed Robocop or Die Hard or any other action film. In reality they are just fun to watch and not really all that cinematically great. Well, Die Hard rules - I'm just using that as an example for other things... meh... can't think of them. Fuck... mind faltering...

Anyway, the point being, I don't think that anyone is necessarily saying that a movie has to be gold standard to be enjoyable...

but there are some things that are just not watchable to some people, and that's more a matter of preference. For some reason, James hates The Crow. Maybe he thinks it takes itself to seriously. I don't know. I personally don't like movies that take themselves too seriously when they obviously shouldn't. That doesn't mean I may not enjoy them visually, or for just some easy watching... but I still may not like aspects of them.

Alien Versus Predator. Oh I know I'll watch it. I'm sure of it. It's an Alien movie after all. Just like I'll watch Star Wars Episode Three when it comes out. I'm sure I'll enjoy AVP for certain aspects. After all, I've always wanted to see them fight too. But I know I'll also have problems with it. I'm sure there will be parts that are insulting to the concept of the past Alien and Predator movies... i'm sure there will be things that are insulting to the past directors of Alien - to the ones that made Alien awesome in the first place. Yet I'm sure there's a chance I'll watch it, because inherently it will have some entertainment value. I still watch Star Wars Episode II, and I hate Episode II for many reasons... but I have probably watched it ten times, if not more. Because it's still enjoyable. It's still got some Star Wars. And its got Yoda flying around fighting.

Bad and Lame movies are great for debating and talking about because they suck so much. And of course we are gonna watch them still. We may not like them all the time, but we'll still watch 'em. Humans always do that sorta self-destructive behavior.

However... Gigli? Good God Aaron... this is less and attack and more a wondering as to why you'd ever put your soul through that kind of torture. Granted I haven't seen it, but still. I thought the same thing with Glitter... and I decided, i shouldn't judge it without seeing it. My soul still hates me for thinking that way.

And strong opinions are far more interesting. If this board was filled with pansy, half-assed convinctions, I wouldn't fuckin' read it. The fact that James comes on here and acts like his opinion is better than anyone else's is just humorous.

You should hear Jimmy's opinion on snow. Man that's funny shit.

I must go fill out more applications.
Oh God that movie sucks.
Why can't people enjoy shitty movies for what they are... I mean, sure there are movies that are downright horrible in every aspect... See Gigli, you'll understand. However, there are movies that if you don't fucking pick apart until the movie is just little bits of once-movie flesh wriggling upon your television screen for the sick pleasure of someone of James' ilk, that are actually entertaining.

Case in point. The Crow.

I like the movie. I know that the special effects aren't good, and I know about the thing which you call "a higher moral ground". However, I think it's damn funny when he says really cliche'd lines all the time like quoting the Raven when he breaks into the pawn shop. I don't enjoy it in a way I enjoy things like Fight Club or Pulp Fiction... but I can watch the movie from time to time and it entertains me. The reason it doesn't entertain some of you picky fuckers is because you guys can't enjoy movies that aren't "Masterful pieces of cinema".

Another one, everyone's insulting Alien vs. Predator, of course it's going to suck. No one is going to watch it because they think the acting and storyline will be top notch. No, people are going to watch it to see the cool inviso-effect of the predators and watch aliens and predators beating the shit out of eachother. It's a no brainer that we're not going to see an Oscar winning performance out of the god damn movie so just watch it for what it is, joke about the parts that were bad and agree that the fight scenes are entertaining. Just like Freddy Vs. Jason, I enjoyed that movie, and I plan to purchase it, not because of how amazing the cinematography was, no but because it has been my child hood dream ever since watching the initial escapades of the two supernatural killers, to see them duke it out, and now I can.

Some of you talk like your opinion on movies is the objective end all be all. If the name on your birth certificate is James, you can count yourself among them. It's fucking irritating. It's not even fun to debate with you guys about movies anymore because you not only don't respect other's opinions, you don't even listen or have a sense of humor about them. I remember sitting in Shari's with James and Jimmoi and Jeff tearing the shit out of The Fast and The Furious and I would buy that film so that I could renew the experience. At that point you guys had fun debating what the value of the movie was, now all I hear from you is "Oh God that movie sucks."

Basically what I'm saying is if you guys are going to talk shit about a film, at least be funny about it god dammit.

January 09, 2004

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/04008/259129.stm

James, please link - ify that.
[phone home]

I get this call from Jimmy.

Only, I was in the computer lab and couldn't talk... so i say, call me back in thirty minutes to an hour.

He calls, two hours later. Only, he doesn't talk. Instead, I hear random background noises. It scares me. It scars me.

I am frightened.

Anyway, TORQUE!

Hehahaheheha... that will be an interesting movie. It's like they said, "Hey, Fast and the Furious just wasn't unbelievable enough, so let's try it again. Only this time, let's make it even crappier with worse acting!"

I have this horrible feeling that 2004 is going to be BAD for movies, with only a few good ones sneaking through.

I hope I am wrong. TORQUE and Alien Versus Predator are killing that hope.
jim carrey to val kilmer? easy. too easy. one movie. Batman Forever. unless thats what you were talking about witht he direct link to....which you probably were...ho hum.

i hate werk. so boring. so tired. wee. its friday. drinking time for the jimmy ( i stop getting drunk everyday now...was getting too expensive). plan on going to tom's house, play mortal kombat dark alliance on the 52 inch tv, than go watch big fish and finally off to rumrunners. not really a fun filled afternoon, butr its alaska....

we did break off these 4 foot icicles and started to sword fight w/ them. i think jackson got a piece of ice stuck in his eye. we laughed at him, and shoved him into the snow.

sanchez bought the new MACHO MAN rap cd. dear lord. its as funny as it sounds. whats sad though, he was probably trying to be serious, as there is a song about mr perfect who recently died. thats the funniest song too. OOHHH YEEE-YEAH!!!

well, im going to try yo call bonnie or jeff or james, being that im so fucking bored. i hate werk.

real quick: eddie just ask me this one - adrian brody to james caan

Adrian Brody was in thing red line with Sean Penn
Sean Penn was in the Game with Michael Douglas
Michael Douglas was in Traffic with benicio del Torro (haha, used this one again)
and Benicio De Toro was in The Way Of the gun with James Caan.
( when i answer this, eddie came up with one faster)

Adrian Brody was in the thin red line with george clooney
who was in batman and robin with arnold
who was in the eraser with james caan.

yes. i know. we have no life.
[¿]

That fucker did Soldier! God I hated that movie. Hated. Hated almost as much as I hated Mr. Parr... Klingon rat-bastard.

Yes... we all know how much I hated him.

I had almost put that god-forsaken movie out of my mind until you mentioned it just now Jimmy. Why? Why did you have to mention it now... after all these years... why?

Soldier can be equated with the visual version of cyanide or lead... if it were ever possible to make poison visual.

BTW, who did Mortal Kombat Annihilation... because that movie was extremely horrible. I didn't hate it like I hate Mr. Parr or Soldier, but I sure didn't like it. Mortal Kombat was decent. It wasn't good... but it was decent.

I would play six degrees... but I can't think of actors in parts that well at times... plus, I would likely do something easy without realizing it, like Jim Carrey to Val Kilmer. Only I'd go some long route before I realized the direct link. Cause I do that. yeeup.

Also... do animated movies count? Cause technically they are movies too.

On second thought, i don't think I wanna travel down Jimmy's dark path of boredom and regret.
[comparison shoppers]

You can definitely compare movies even if they are from different directors, its done all the time.

Especially if it is a sequel or prequel to a movie. It's just saying, well what did this director do different then the one before him. Completely normal.

You'd better believe i'm gonna rip into Alien Versus Predator when that piece of shit comes out.

Of course, I might be wrong, it might be good. Jimmy was wrong in his initial feelings on Kill Bill v.1. After he actually saw it, he said he liked it.

I still have yet to see that movie. Damnation.
uh, first off-paul ws anderson is directing alien vs preditor and he did not do mortal komkat total annihilation. he made the first mortal kombat, event horizon, soilder and resident evil. he's still pretty bad.

second. alien 3 i enjoyed, but was a dissapointment. it was boring compared to aliens. but enough about aliens. lets talk about big fish.

opens tonight. tim burton. ewan mcgregor ( i wont look up the spelling....fuck that). will go see it tonight, give y'all the 411.

been playing a game at work with mr IMDB.COM himself, eddie. we take one actor, and try to connect him to another actor. like 6 degrees of kevin bacon w/o kevin bacon. example:

connecting James Franco to Cate Blancet.

James franco was in spiderman with tobey mcgwire
tobey mcgwire was in wonderboys with michael douglas
michael douglas was in traffice with benicio del toro
benicio del toro was in the hunted with tommy lee jones
and tommy lee jones was in the missing with cate blancet.

get the idea? you have to do it in 6 tried or less. been doing it all day. w/o the help of the internet mind you. basically, everyone in hollywood is connected somehow. take this one for instance:

Bruce Lee to Anthony Hopkins

bruce lee was in enter the dragon with jon saxon
jon saxon was in dusk till dawn with cheech
cheech was in deperado with antonio banderas
antonio banderas was in zorro with anthony hopkins.

you cant use directors or producers. just actors. in other words. im too fucking bored and
in other news, their remaking one of my favorite movies. the producers. nathan lane was matthew brodrick. why god why?
http://slugs.genericwebhost.com/forum

im workin on it.

January 08, 2004

*edited*
Jeff i think that what your referring to is known as "Rape of a Franchise"
I can remember when they milked those movies for all they were worth...it spawned a few decent video games...some kick ass action figures (at least i thought they did) and various other things...mostly a following of everything from weirdos to...well weirdos mostly, but the good ones. Not the bus station weirdos.
And as for comparing all of the Alien movies its not really fair because each one was done by a different director
Alien: Directed by Ridley Scott
Aliens: Directed by James Cameron (guy who did Terminator
and the others were done by another 2 directors whose names do not jump to mind so quickly
Alien would definately gain my vote for "classic" of the series....but 2 and 3 those are more hard to define...at least for me it is. 2 is more of an action flick and 3 takes the suspense of the first movie and gives it nice dose of speed. As for Resurrection well i cant say i liked the movie, it was definately sub-par....but i will admit that it was cool to watch Sigourney Weaver play basketball with that guy with the dreadlocks(or am i thinking about the operator from The Matrix not tank or dozer but the other guy), and then dismantle each of the space pirates single handedly and taking a heavy piece of weightlifting equipment to the face and hardly flinching.
As for Alien vs Predator, i cried tears of joy when i first read that there were rumors of a movie in production...but when i read that the guy who did Mortal Kombat: Annihilation was directing it...they turned to tears of sadness.
Oh and if anyone just loves more steaming helpings of "videogames turned movies" director Uwe Boll is seemingly making it his goal to turn good arcade games into box office blunders...or so-so movies, depending on your preference.
[Among Us]

First, I'm pretty sure Jimmy knew about Alien: Resurrection. After all, he's one of those people that knows about things pertaining to movies. He may not always get the specifics right, but I'm pretty sure he knew about it.

Really, I think that everyone knew that, almost making my post pointless.

Secondly, how can you call Alien 3 the best of them? Yeah it was good. And as Jimmy pointed out, the fact that the humans didn't have guns made for a good little twist, but I wouldn't call it the best.

While I don't remember as much about the first or second one, mostly the second one cause I've seen it less, I know that they are still the top two.

The first one because that's where we actually meet the Alien. If I remember correctly, its only one Alien, and yet it manages to rip up those space scientists. Plus, who can forget that chilling moment when the egg hatches and the face-hugger Alien latches itself on that guy. And then when it rips out of his stomach for the first time? C'mon, we are talking classic moments.

The second one is better than the third easily. I remember that one being the scariest one to me when I was a kid. I was fuckin' scared. One of the only movies to really scare the shit out of me. I would check under my bed before going to sleep for weeks after seeing it, always afraid that I'd get attacked.

That was the one where Ripley fights with the Alien inside of that mechanized mover thing. I will ALWAYS remember that. And where Bishop (its name was Bishop right), was all ripped up, with its white blood pouring all over the place.

I can only hope you were joking about Alien 3 being the best of them easily. IF it was the best, it certainly isn't "easily".
oh shit son.
php capabilities and message board here we come.

ooooh yeah.
gotta re-do the website too.
WHeEEEEEeeeeEEE something to do!

( note : which one do you guys think looks 'better' initially - before i tweak it? )

http://phpbb.com/
or
http://demo.invisionboard.com/

:: edit > archives are now online and working fine ::

January 07, 2004

hahahahaaa
everyone that comes back from leave always have to get pisstested. except for meeee!!! MUAHHAHAAAAAA!!!

i think im going to start doing yayo. that or sell it. make the monies. come home more often. get connections. beat up a bouncer. smack around a pimp. yea. funzo.

hmm.
[!]

FUCK YA! Finally... finally hours in front of a computer have paid off... finally college is starting to pay off a little. Finally I got a call back from a resumé put in. A position at Benaroya Hall as a Clinical Coordinator. SWEET. Jeff is happy!

Mostly happy cause I will finally have a career launching position.

Those of you mocking and laughing and whatnot... you clearly don't understand. I need something to do. Plus, this position supposedly pays well, has benefits, and all without having to build boxes... err... cardboard... err... corrugated fiber. Sweet.

Then I will have money and can visit and can buy a paintball gun and shoot at Mr. Collins' igloo.

Life smoothening itself out.
[Snowy Seattle]

So Seattle finally got snow. That was interesting. Spent the day walking all over the place, having some hot soup, and finally building stuff. That was also after sledding down a hill and almost into Lake Washington a copule of times. Interesting stuff.

So I decided, why not try building something. So I preceeded to build Fort Awesome... only to be deterred when I realized, it was starting to rain and there wouldn't be enough snow.

And I also figured, while I know I could build something far far grandeur than James IMBLOO, or whatever he told me it was... I wanted something different. So I combined my efforts with my roommate Allens and we built Gigantimus the Snow Beast, which turned out to be nine feet tall, at my best estimation, and probably the tallest Snow Beast ever created.

After all, anybody can build an igloo, and anybody can build a three-part snowman... but none of you fuckers could build Gigantimus... who by the way owns you all.

(I'll post pictures later - provided James can show me how to upload them.)

January 06, 2004

more snow updates






next row we'll cut the hole in to get inside. we've been jumping over it to get inside to posisition the blocks so far.

=============
MORE VIDEOS!
=============
the most uneventfull sledding, ever in the history of man
"You suck James, You suck." - so says michael
"Dude, I'm going to sled into that tree!"
Michael reiterates : " YOU SUCK JAMES. "
The POHLEESE come by and do their job " hey dont sled on the hill " - we do anyway.
This is what happens when you bring the camera with you down the hill - it breaks.


Yup. thats that.
Fuck you Jeff Paulino for being able to babble that much boring information about sci-fi movies. Well, shit, I guess that would be a Fuck You to everyone, then, because I'm sure you all have seen Alien and I...have not.

Brandon Lee is hot. He is very hot. Furthermore, I don't think the "paint on his face like that of a tragedy" is supposed to be intimidating nor is it supposed to strike fear. The fucker is dead, James, he can't just walk around like everyone else because he's...dead. Don't worry though, James, I'll just put some lyrics on here from a song on that movie that you seem to hate so much ..."It won't rain all the time, your tears won't fall forever, and though the night seems long your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall...forever"

So quit your damn bitching. At least Brandon Lee did SOMETHING besides, I don't know, build half an igloo.
====================
POST EDITED

Ok here is the deal - after a good pal of mine that I've known online for about a year or two heard that I got jenked over by my hosting and that the slugs were going to hell in a hand basket he said he would have none of it. He said "hay you want some free hosting?" and I said sure - so here we are. Now you've got two choices - one, you can just IM him on AIM (SN: LecherousJester) and you tell that motherfucker thanks for the free hosting - or you can fireup your paypal account and paypal him a good 5 or 3,000 dollars for good measure (paypal:paypal@genericwebhost.com) - he really says it isn't necissary but hey, good for the goose is good for the gander you know? Look forward to brand-spankin new possibilities and if you ever need space to host a website of your own, or know someone who needs hosting - send them the way of http://www.genericwebhost.com/ - and I will be doing the same. We've become walking advertisements for his hosting service. mwa haha.
====================



Dark City?

What the shit is people's preoccupation with this shitty movie?
Jesus H. Christ - sure I have to give you the first half of the film is not entirely bad,
but the ending with people flying around? I scoffed at it then and I will scoff at it now.

That I will forgive you for, but what absolutely cannot be forgiven is " The Crow "
Having recently seen this cuntfest of a movie I have to tell you that there was a reason I avoided seeing it.
The reason being that all graphic novel to movie films suck ass.
Remember THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN? - yeah I figured you would.
The Crow has to be the biggest " OMG BRANDON LEE SO HOT OMG " shitfest of a film I've ever seen.
EVERYTHING THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS TO SAY IS PROFOUND AND CONTRIVED WIT

And I dont know about you, but I can only see shitty "look he runs, omg he fell off a building" and "look the crow flies through fake-city!" special effects for so long. Classic films can withold the test of time - which means that their OUT OF DATE special effects don't feel like you're gnashing sand paper against your eyeballs. BLADERUNNER's special effects didn't make me want to gouge out my eyes, and it has stood the test of time - you want to know why fucking THE CROW is so heralded?

1. someone died - oh boo hoo
2. omg brandon lee so hot omg
3. shitty goth-fucks and their shitty lives thinking that " LOVE CONQUERS ALL" and that "EVERYONCE IN AWHILE THEY COME BACK TO MAKE RIGHT THE THINGS WRONG" - which absolutely pissed me off that Dr. Shitsville Crow-man has this "high moral ground" which he stands on and is able to take retribution out on the oh-so-terrible badguys who LAID A FINGER ON HIS GIRL, DAWG - and raped that cunt like she deserved. You don't live in slums, complain, and figure "oh no nothing bad will happen to me at all. " I was compelled more by the love scenes in fucking ROB ROY. Don't make me laugh. SHELLY!!!!!!! indeed.
4. the soundtrack. lets gather together a bunch of popular musicians to make a soundtrack for this shitty film. I remember that being one of the big 'catches' in its day - that all these cool and super musicians banded together to make the score. You know what - the soundtrack fucking blows. You're going to defend it, aren't you? " BUT NINE INCH NAILS WAS ON IT " - the song was such a minor piece of shit that I wouldn't even call it Reznor. It's only close-to-saving grace is there is a RATM song on it, and RATM will always rule.
5. but one song doesn't make up for the absolute total lack of character development whatsoever. They trick you with a side story about a girl and her drug-fucked mother of a whore. oh shit wait I almost forgot the CONSTANT REOCCURING HUMOR where Eric Draven ( BRANDON LEE OMG SO HOT OMG ) continually tells EVERYONE AROUND HIM that DRUGS ARE BAD and THEY WILL KILL YOU when in fact he ONE OF THE UNDEAD who is BACK TO KILL PEOPLE - DO YOU NOT GET THE FUCKING HUMOR? THAT IS COMEDY GOLD The D.A.R.E. U.N.D.E.A.D.
6. Wait dude, you cant say this movie sucks. LOOK AT THE MAIN CHARACTER HE IS A ROCK STAR MUSICIAN. Oh yes, dont forget it - and they wont let you. Spliced inbetween the "but mommy your a whore!" scenes of the young girl and the "hey duders im a black man and i am a police officer" you get ERIC DRAVEN ROCKING OUT on rooftops. Then right before the 'climatic ending' ( read shitty gun fight ) - he belts out these awesome electrical guitar riffs that made me want to puke. I forgot that when you're back from the dead to kill the men who murdered you and raped/murdered your wife that you have to channel your anguish through your trusty eletrical guitar on top of rooftops under the moon. yeah.
7. Brandon Lee cannot act his way through a wet paper sack in a hurricane, underwater. I haven't seen any of his other films, if there are any other films - but let me tell you that this motherfucker is as bad as an actor as someone like, oh, VERN FONK. That's right. Did I feel his anguish at all? No. I couldn't get past his smug " hey duders im brandon lee " demeanor. He is about as good at acting like he is anguished as fucking KEANU REEVES is as good at acting like he was angry in Much Ado About Nothing.
8. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE SHITTY " HAY LETS PAINT MY FACE LIKE THAT OF TRAGEDY " BULLSHIT? IT IS NOT INTIMIDATING AND DOES NOT STRIKE FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF MEN. IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING PANZY.


I cannot for the life of me stand that movie.
It reminds me of what would happen if, somehow, steven and andy were melded into one - and andy started writing goth poetry.
Thats how the dialogue goes throughout the whole film.
So do not give me that crap about how the crow is such a great film - because I think your bullshitting.

shitty shit shit
MISERY

January 05, 2004

I came up with an idea, just now.

I'm going to buy out the Tetris name.
Why?

Well, because after I do that...I'm going to do something crazy, something that will make me famous. Then when people ask "How'd you do it?" I'll say, "Well, an old pal of mine once told me that tetris is just like life. So I was playing Tetris one night, and I figured out what I needed to do. After that...everything just 'fell' into place."

Then everybody will go out, buying the newest, hottest Tetris title.
And then I'll be rich. Rich and famous.

Then you'll be able to see my lifestyle on tv.
Because I'll be rich and famous, and it'll be my lifestyle.
Yep.
That's what I'm gonna do.
[Live!]

*I just noticed that live can be said two ways, which kinda sucks if you don't know the one I was thinking of.*

I'm pretty sure Jimmy knows this and was making some point... actually i figured a potential point... but still, for those that actually don't know:

There is an Alien 4... only its called Alien Resurrection. I remember cause for several reasons, one of which because they made a South Park episode where they poke fun at this movie... well a part of it.

They bring back Ridley, or whatever her name is... Ripley, yeah that's it. Ridley is the badguy from the Metriod series (which rocks, in terms of great SCI-FI games - but i won't get into that here).

So yeah... most thought it was a dissapointment, as they did with Alien 3. Of course, lots of people thought the CGI of the Alien swimming in water was cool... i think it even got some sort of nomination or something... i don't know... i didn't feel like doing RESEARCH so if some of you take offense should I be wrong on this fact... you can try to kill me with a toothpick. (If so, please make it a mint one.)

So Jimmy should have said, "Man they need to make an Alien 5" - provided again that he didn't remember Alien 4, which i doubt.

Now for those of you who don't know... they are actually making an Alien Vs. Predator, which i suppose makes that the Alien 5 (and simultaneously making it Predator 3). So then they are fulfilling Jimmy's wish...

but you know that will suck. Well those of you who didn't know they are making Alien Vs. Predator probably don't know that, but those of you who did know that it will suck. Don't believe me... check out the teaser for it on the Apple Quicktime Movie Trailer site... (too lazy to post link) or one of the other multitudes of Trailer sites. If you don't think it's gonna suck after that...

I feel sorry for your souls.

For those of you too lazy to check it... let me give you a brief: They set up the story whereas the Pyramids were built by the Predators. Yeeup. Not by Egyptian slaves, not by Pharoahs, not by gods, not by that crazy alien kid from Stargate, but by the Predators.

And the Predators use them as ceremonial hunting grounds, such that when a Predator Teen, a Teenator(TM-jeff), wants to become a Predator Man, he, or she i suppose - though imagine the ugly mug on that female predator... i bet no matter how smart you are you can't kill that with a toothpick, or a pinkie - has to go and hunt and kill Aliens. Further, apparently Aliens have been to Earth... at least logically you'd think so since there are Pyramids here, and Predators hunt Aliens... (the trailer sure made it sound that way - mind you of course that's if they stick to Paul Anderson's idea for the movie. fyi, he made Resident Evil).

I don't know, but if you have seen Alien Resurrection, and I think Alien 3, then you know that the whole big deal was that Alien's had never been to Earth and that it could mean doom if they made it there... you know, cause they breed like bitches...

So for this director to come and say, oh yeah Aliens have been here and they are here again and blah blah blah... rather saps the reasoning out of the last two movies.

I'm not against the idea of an Alien Versus Predator movie, I'm against the idea of a piece of shit Alien Versus Predator movie. And you'd better believe that this one will probably be just that.

Damn, why couldn't they have just made a good new Predator movie. Damn.

Anyway, I got lost as to where I was going. So yeah, "Man they need to make an Alien 6".
weeee. another day another feeling of sickness that i get in the pit of my stomach everytime i see these people i work with. everytime i wake up in the morning, put on my uniform and go out into the cold. i hate that fucking crunching sound your feet make when you walk on snow. i hate the insta-freeze numbness that my fingers get as soon as i take them out of my pocket to unlock the door to my car. i hate how it got so cold that the heater in my car no longer works. i hate how my tires get packed with snow and i have to pull over 4 - 5 times on the way to work to kick out all the snow. i hate now its negative double didgets. and i hate how when i hear that you guys have 13 inches of snow and how nice that must be, to only worry about 13 inches of fucking god awful snow. moving on.

the top five top five lists:

1. Top Five best movies
2. Top Five Best Games
3. Top Five Best Songs
4. Top Five Best directors
5. Top five best reasons why to never maek another top five list on the board ever again.
and with that, i bring you:

THE TOP FIVE BEST SCI-FI MOVIES

now, this is more like, my five favorite movies. but since i feel that my opinion is the only one that matters:

5. Strange Days. From the director of Near Dark and Point Break and writer James Cameron (if you dont know who that is, shoot yourself. Terminator, T2, True Lies, Abyss), this movie had a feel of armegeddon, the end nearing and captured the hysteria that exsisted during the End of the millinium. Also, Ralph Fiennes is an awesome actor. he needs to be in more movies. The "look" of the film reminded me a lot of Bladerunner, which is why i think i enjoyed it so much the first time.

4. Alien. I dont know whether to consider this movie sci-fi or horror, or whether i should put Alien or Aliens on this list. Both are classics and both Riddley Scott (Alien) and James Cameron's (Aliens) added their own "flare" to this franchise. Sadly, David Fincher's Alien 3 was both dissapointing and god awful (though i did like the idea of the humans having no weopons). Man, they need to make Alien 4. wouldnt that be great? Alien 4? mother fuckers.

3. Dark City. Yum. From the maker of the Crow (uber movie, too bad its associated by gothic fucktwits). You know how good this movie is? it madce me actually want to see a Will Smith movie (I, Robot which is being directed by the same director). I'm not gonna go into a debate with you guys about whether or not the Matrix ripped this movie off. Just watched the matrix, reloaded and revolutions all ina row, and than see this movie.

2. Blade Runner. Hey look. Another Riddley Scott movie. You'd think how i mentioned two of these movies in the top five all-time best sci-fi films that i like Riddley Scott. yea...uhm...Gi Jane. thats all i got to say about that. Still. Great movie. Both the Direcotor's Cut (with no narrative and him turning out to be an android) and the original are classics.

1. Brazil. Now i knwo I'm goign to get shit for this. Wheres Clockwork Orange or Empire Strikes Back or 2001? How can you put Brazil and not 12 Monkeys? i guess this is good. You guys could come up with some good ones that i furgot. But this movie is one my favorites, not just SCI-FI.

weee. funzo. anyway. have fun. i hate you all.

i wish i was dead.
[The "Fuck-You's" for 2004]

I forgot how fun it can be to piss people off and to have people pissed off with you...

So something fun for all the kiddies to read:

Jeff's Spectacular, Grandiose, and Awesome Fuck You List 2004 ed.

  • Fuck you James Collins for having an alien in your throat that used to scare me in high school!

  • Fuck you James Nicholas Miller for your thirteen planes in China and your going off to be with the Frozen Hotties of the Tundra!

  • Fuck you Aaron Dono.... for not having a last name that I can remember, and for being called the Replacement Jeff after I left Bethel.

  • Fuck you Michael Collins because you look like a younger James Collins.

  • Fuck you Nicholas Bradbury for being taller than me and having the new iPod... and for having a computer that never breaks on you.

  • Fuck you Bonnie Seaborn for having a name like Bonnie. Why couldn't it be La-quesha, thus giving me something funny to laugh at everytime I see your name in my cell phone.

  • Fuck you Steven Pearson because I could not remember if its actually Pierson or Pearson or some other combination of alphabet letters. And because you gave us all nasty images of you and Andy in a foursome.

  • Fuck you Andy Wegener for not reading the board and making this "Fuck You" nearly meaningless.

  • Fuck you Chrissie Himes for being short but not asian, making the belief that I had in my mind that all short people are inherently asian not true.

  • Fuck you Napster because I can't remember your real name right now, and because you still use an SN referring to an old file-swapping program that no longer exists in its true form, but instead some cooperate skin.

  • Fuck you Heather Taylor for having a father who could kill me with his pinkie.

  • Fuck you Zach because I cannot remember your last name but I could remember Brice's. And because you have the most toxic farts of anybody I have ever met.

  • Fuck you Brice Wick because I can remember your last name and its Wick!

  • Fuck you Joseph Macauley because you have never actually gotten mad enough to devour someone in front of me or Jimmy, giving us some new material for a comic book.

  • Fuck you Bullrabbit because I actually don't know you but still was dragged to meet you once in Seattle.

  • Fuck you Anthony because you were actually insane enough to agree to live with James Collins.


Well, that about wraps up this love-fest.

Back to the resumés.
[literal]

Hahahehehaha

Who'd have thought anyone would have even read a post i wrote while half-asleep watching the news.

It's funny cause the post I originally intended to write was about how the Crocodile Hunter was feeding crocodiles with one hand and holding his newborn in the other... and how that's why he's still around... because if the croc decides to get wild, he can throw babies at it!

Then I thought, nah, the mental image of the great army of Hallmark rising up against the NRA just seemed more visually funny. You know, "Happy Birthday BITCHES!" as Hallmark crushes the gun-toters.

Plus, I also thought, its kinda funny that a card company that wishes people to get well would be considered anyone's enemy... even though in the back of my mind I figured that there must be a reason... that the NRA couldn't just be full of idiots with guns... i mean that would be senseless... and senselessness in America... why that's just unheard of. I mean of course I know Hallmark is a huge cooperation and prolly have the resources to kill off my entire family and deport me to the moon no questions asked...

But did i take that seriously... HAHA.

Anyway, that being that

for the sake of novelty, and cause running of the bulls is just to darn tame... i say,

Fuck you Heather, I'll take on your gun totin' daddy anyday!

(knowing full well that I will prolly die within a half second of coming into his gun sights :P)

((take as seriously as you wish))

time for resumés
I read heather's post and halfway through thought to myself " god damnit jeff, whats with all the bullshit research? whoop de do - you can pull facts out of your ass " and was fully prepared to post " god damnit jeff, whats with all the bullshit research? whoop de do - you can pull facts out of your ass " - but then I got to the " also, my daddy " part and was somewhat confused ( I must have overlooked the initial " My Daddy " in the second paragraph ) - and thought to myself : " what the fuck? "

And then I scrolled down and found that it was, in fact, Heather who posted the bullshit research ala Rosie O'Donnel and so forth.
So . . .

God damnit Heather, whats with all the bullshit research? Whoop de do - you can pull facts out of your ass.

I long ago learned, with the help of Jimmoi, that facts within themselves are meaningless and most often than not, contrived and presented in a manner which will always make the person presenting the facts "in the right" - It is why I never joined debate and it is why I have stopped watching the news. You can take a cue from Aarons oh-so-heralded, and lost, film " THE BIG KAHUNA about everyone being an advertising platform for something or another, be it religion, idealism, or products in which one sells. So I gave up on facts. Everything can be perceived a different way. In fact I gave up on tons of things.

I'm sure you were there right on the pulse of America, Heather, oogling over Rosie O'Donnel and the fact that she was being entirely human in the idea that people who can injure her family should not have guns but her protectors should. Whoop. De. Do. America is full of shits who all strive and lust for tolitalitarianism as long as they are the ones making the rules. Finger pointing sons of bitches who tattle on eachother when they think someone else has an advantage over them.

The jury cries : " WHERE ARE YOUR FACTS TO PROVE SUCH! "

I'll be the first to say that I dislike organizations. Be it organized religion, or the ever-so-glorified National Rifle Association. To say that I agree with one person, more less, a group of people is preposterous as it is pretentious. Everyone has a different take on every idiosyncratic nuance of life and given parameters and isntances will sway from those ideals. So here is my fact : Anyone related to the National Rifle Association is a pussy, a big fucking faggot. How do you like them apples?

You know who else is a big loser from Shitsville, a small town outside the city of IDIOTOWN? Randy Weaver and David Koresh - but why James, why are these people stickfuckers and ballfaced morons? Because I dont know who they are thats why. They have no affect on my life so I don't bother giving a living shit about who they are.

The analysts cry : " But James, They do affect your life! What if the decisions they make...." blah blah blah. I don't care.

I could waste my time by going to this site or this one and read up about Randy Weaver or David Koresh but I won't because I don't care. I've never claimed to be intelligent, and that is my saving grace.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ALL OF THIS?!


Britney Spears
got married in Las Vegas!
To a childhood friend of hers!
As a joke!
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She wore a baseball cap and jeans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And they didn't even know that you needed a marriage liscense to get married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


PS.
and pinkie.
the joke was that your father could kill jeff with his pinkie.
this is when I braved going to your house to pick you up when we were "dating"
and jeff gave me a ride and he said he was going to stay in the car because he didnt know how your father would react
because I told jeff that your father was a crazy green beret who, might, in a fit of rage attack him for being guamanian.

" NUMMER WON, THE INTIMIDATOR! "
Hey, Jeff -

Where can I find that article? It's nice to see their enemies, but I'd like to know why they made the list.

My Daddy, the smartest man in the world, tells me that a few years ago, Rosie O'Donnel made that list. There was the same slack-jawed reaction - "Why would she make that list? I mean, she's annoying, but come on!" Now, what the uninformed public didn't realize was that Rosie O'Donnel was an open advocate, going even so far as to lobby before the entire congress, of a complete gun ban. She supported a full, comprehensive, one hundred percent ban on all guns; and, in her day, she was among the most influential television personalities of the time. She had the ability to sway the masses in ways unavailbale to the NRA.

Meanwhile, she had a personal body guard, several nannies, and a large potion of her security staff armed with the very guns she was advotating a ban on. and they had them at all times. Isn't it ironic that the only people she thought should not have guns were the ones not protecting her family.

The NRA, by the way, also happens to teach the largest number of gun safety educational services in the entire country. While it was a joke as presented on The Family Guy, they do in fact teach a number of classes to younger children about the consequences if the misuse of guns.

Furthermore, they are the only major political action committee that advocates mandatory life sentences for any criminal convicted of using a gun while commiting a criminal act.

Britney Spears does, admittedly, appear to be a somewhat less than lofty foe to take on the NRA - but I think your post could be infinately more effective if it were an informed bust on the NRA.

Also, my Daddy is not a member of the NRA - in fact, he has not supported them since George Bush, Sr. withdrew from the organization following their right - wing support of Randy Weaver and David Koresh. If you don't know who these people are, research that while you're pulling your head out of your ignorant ass (compliments of Master Sergent Taylor)and get informed.

I told you my Daddy was the smartest man in the world.

Heather.

P.S. Who needs a gun? my Daddy can still kill your pansy ass with a toothpick.

January 04, 2004

[The NRA Pities you!]

So... in the realm of the completely funny ass insane...
The NRA has chosen the Methodist Baptist Church and Britney Spears, and HALLMARK CARDS as a part of its top 10 or 15 list of enemies.

Hahahahahaha...

I'm sorry, maybe i'm the only one who finds this funny. But c'mon. It's the NRA... the NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION... and their greatest enemy is none other than Britney Spears?

Now i myself have said she is evil... but i didn't really regard her as a threat, and I don't have a collection of assault rifles ready to be used to hunt squirrel.

And Hallmark? Now that's just as ridiculous as that time i posted about the evilness of Wallabies. I mean... seriously. The only difference was that I was obviously not serious, but just posting...

... I don't know... i think somewhere along the way I stepped into this alternate reality of stupidity.

I don't see it. Just snow.
Flayme Raven: http://www.swydm.com/pics/thumbs/th200-157412.jpg
Nonfinis: whoa
Nonfinis: hot
Nonfinis: ...
Nonfinis: that's the new girl, isn't it
Flayme Raven: Yep =)
Nonfinis: lucky bastard
update






another note - when you're outside in the snow and its sunny, be sure to wear sunglasses.
because little do you know that you're retinas are being burned alive.
I came back in and everything was tinted red.
I was pretty blind. it sucked.

January 03, 2004

[electrasol]

Hehehe, you gotta love the way zach-o surmises his thoughts on a post.

That said, I'd have to say that paintball during the snow, with igloos...
man that would fuckin' rock.

One day, when I have lots and lots of money, i'll pay for us to take a charter flight somewhere with lots of snow, where people have already set up igloos, and it will rock. A good time will be had by all.

I'm tired, and I still have a dozen more resumés to write up. Blech.
gay?




3pm
harder than you think.






5pm




6pm
Having a pill stuck in my throat at about chest level owns my soul.

Not having seen my hat for over a month owns my soul.

Waking up to someone pounding on something with a hammer owns my soul.

Not having anything to do because I didn't plan on being up until an hour and a half after I did owns my soul.

Realizing that my computer has been waiting for me to tell it to finish installing Windows for the last 4 days owns my soul.

My soul is a slut =

January 02, 2004

[Job Huntin']

Heh, steve-o does seem in an elevated sort of mood. Maybe one day i'll break down and say meds are okay for me...

but i still don't like 'em right now. It's a personal preference thing, not an attack on anybody.

I heard a funny story on Headline News a couple days ago about a guy who walked into a fast food restaurant and robbed the place, and on his way out accidently, and unknowingly, dropped an application completely filled out with his personal info.

The cops were able to catch him easily.

Now, you might think that was the funny part. I can see why. I could even relate to doing something stupid like that.

But to me, the funny part was that it took place in Texas, and the fast food place was a Whataburger!

Man, that's classic. I remember living in Texas and going there. I don't remember much about it now, other than the color scheme of the joint was some weird brown and orange thing... like it was ripped straight out of the seventies. Manoman, good place though. I remember the burgers being pretty damn good.

Fuckin' good actually. Yummm, it'd be nice to have a Whataburger! burger right about now.

Of course, they don't like it when you eat in the library, especially so close to the computers... facists.

Ahem, so yeah, that was funny. Funny and nostalgic.

I have more to say, but I'll save it for a later post. Oh, and Mr. Collins, how do you upload pictures if you don't have your own personal webspace, cause I've had lots of good ones, but no chance to post them.

... FIFTH POST RULES!
Fourth post of 2004....

Well, my new years was awesome, so pfft.
And people don't put too much emphasis on it -- it's just...another reason to party. If ya don't party, well then yeah, ya shouldn't put any emphasis on it.
Which is exactly why I party.
Met some awesome people, made new friends, got a new girl - who has put me into a very good mood, am back on my meds - which means it's only a week or two before I start going to school for casino dealing, etc....which is actually where I plan on being tomorrow before I go to work.

So...Bonnie -- don't give up hope on it. Let people enjoy what they want to enjoy, if they can -- and try for the same goal.


On a second note....if there were to be a paintball day sometime within the coming month, how many people would be seriously interested? I'd love to go, not sure entirely if I'd really be able to...but really want to look into it atleast.

January 01, 2004

Third post of the year. Wouldn't it be weird if every post the person posting said what post of the year it was? That way we'd know how many posts there was in a year. Not that anyone cares...because that's dumb...right? Yeah...it's dumb...

People put too much emphasis on new years. It seems a waste because everyone I've talked to so far said it went pretty shitty. I can say this is going to be a better year, though, because yesterday was my last day officially doing my dumb job at Fort Lewis. Now all I have to do is work weekdays from 9-ish to 3-ish just doing paper work. It will be boring, but knowing that i will be starting college after that makes it pretty okay. Why am I telling you all this? I'm sure none of you care. Bastards.
[SECOND POST OF 2004!]

This would have been first post, but Jimmy posted with some link, which i have yet to see what it is, robbing me of first post of 2004. Bastard. So then i thought, fuck it - someone else will post. But alas, it's 10:52, and no second post...

So second post is mine!!!

Let's see... what else...

Oh yeah, New Year's. Meh. Felt really lame this year. Nothing fun, nothing exciting. Played some pool and drank some beer. Watched a televised New York ball dropping.

This year is off to a fantastic start.

Oh well, at least I got SECOND POST OF THE YEAR!
http://www.elishacuthbertforum.com/movies/