October 25, 2001

Such is life is life when you let go
and this is life when I relenquish my control
drifting on the chances of what be bring came or coming being drifting
and I realse myself to what may be but not what ought
I left my dreams behind .. and that I let them go too forever
hurting like a child and innocent just don't know why
world this way THIS WORLD THIS WAY .. and people say dunno
and live this way and travel alone instead of on the bus together
TRUST ME STRANGER ! I am but a child who let go forever relenquishing control
and know I die tomorrow or some day be gone forever ... letting and releasing all myself
and world I do not understand behind me still will hurting be ...
and people I don't know with strangers faces that I recognise expressions
how much stranger is a stranger who I can see the feelings of inside of when those close to me can hide them ?
God how much it hurt when she died ...
and how much born anew this person was ..
born into a chaos of feeling being
born into a sad world and a sad way of living ...
born without fear into being
and looking out without looking back
and without strangeness on my mind plunging into it
and seeing all this here.............
I AM CONFUSION that lingers on me slowely decaying me
I Self destructing me am hurting myself seeng bleeding me without knowing why .........
STILL WITHOUT KNOWING WHY a stranger hurts me with a smile .............
ARRRRRRHGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.. Why do I smile... why does my empathy work ?...
how can I feel all of this pain constantly in the world every single day ...
and why can't you ???>>>>>>>>
I see a child on the face of every stranger..
a sad lonely tired child who is crying because they do not understand...
and I am this much tooo...
tears without boundary for something I don't understand...
for the sadness of the world and for the sadness of a stranger..WHY?

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