okay so I wrote this while I was in portland this weekend. Please keep in mind that it is merely symbolic and is not about a literall action, but rather about some unnammed part of my lifestyle and how I feel about it................................

Self destructive pleasure.....
The bitter tears in it
I held onto the dull pain feeling,
into the bitter end of it ,
I hold onto that big dull blade.
So slowly slipping, it is cutting me.
I slowly slipping, being cutting me.
I can not feel the pain,
but I can see the damage.
What im doing to myself.
What im feeling in my body ending.
My mind is slipping, I am cutting me,
and I can see the damage,
but I can not feel the pain.
Damage of that big dull blade,
damage of it slipping.
All those bitter tears I shed
and that dull pain feeling is the same.
As I mitigate my mind, and as it slipping.
I can not feel the pain,
as I slowly being cutting me,
but I still can see the damage.