I move this Thursday to my other host family. I will stay with them for the next nine months... oh happy day!

My chicabee sent this to me a while back... I like it. :) *LOL*


365 days of sex

TO MY DEAR GIRLFRIEND (WIFE):
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.

The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
> >> > 54 times the sheets were clean
> >> > 7 times it was too late
> >> > 49 times you were too tired
> >> > 20 times it was too hot
> >> > 15 times you pretended to be asleep
> >> > 22 times you had a headache
> >> > 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
> >> > 16 times you said you were too sore
> >> > 12 times it was the wrong time of the month
> >> > 19 times you had to get up early
> >> > 9 times you said weren't in the mood
> >> > 7 times you were sunburned
> >> > 6 times you were watching the late show
> >> > 5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hair-do
> >> > 3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
> >> > 9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed,the activity was not satisfactory because:

> >> > 6 times you just laid there
> >> > 8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceilin
> >> > 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
> >> > 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
> >> > 1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

TO MY DEAR BOYFRIEND (HUSBAND):

I think you have things a little confused.
Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

> >> > 5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
> >> > 36 times you did not come home at all
> >> > 21 times you didn't cum
> >> > 33 times you came too soon
> >> > 19 times you went soft before you got in
> >> > 38 times you worked too late
> >> > 10 times you got cramps in your toes
> >> > 29 times you had to get up early to play golf
> >> > 2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in THE BALLS
> >> > 4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
> >> > 3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
> >> > 2 times you had a splinter in your finger
> >> > 20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
> >> > 6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
> >> > 98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball,playing video games etc. on TV.
Of the times we did get together:
The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.

I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was,"Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"

The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.


MUWhAHAAHAHAHAHAaaaAHAHAHAHaa :P