I have three things in my agenda for the day...

1) First off I would like to thank Aaron for making me the obsurd hero of the story.. You all should take a moment to reflect on my math-philosophy obsessed character who always looks outside of himself for the solution to a problem and does not have any ideas that don't come from his equations... in the cryptic cypher of math, which must seem like som ancient art to the beweldered few who chance to glance upon my work. I wonder if somehow people think of me in this way, as though I have no thoughts of my own, the only ideas/actions I get come from outside. I have an uncanny ability to find four leaf clovers {perhaps that is my super hero power ?}...Maybe that shows how much attention I pay to detial, or how little attention I have to pay... I wonder if perhaps Aarons making me the hero says something about how he percieves me, am I something of a hero ?.. the thought is nice, however, irrelivent... The feminist mob was perfect for me, and how they do not respond to logical thought and mathematical precision, the truth abounds here... I suppose It reflects how often I intimate my beliefe that women aren't capable of understanding rational thought, I must talk about it often..{Not to say that they are incapable of it, just that they do not see very deeply into the seemingly mechanical nature of logical precision, into the realm of perfection and divine order..}... I like how you portrayed todays events in the story {my complete negativity toward the idea of anyone who does not like math or philosophy...{-Bonnie- caused that outburst today}}.........

2) Today In Sawatzki's class we had to write questions on note cards for him to answer. Someone asked "If I do not go to college does that make me a failure ?"..
The question urked me. For one I think that the idea of a failure is baseless, failure is entirely subjective, it has no objective reality whatsoever... If it did I would be able to go out in the world and find an object {failure}.. which is the point I want to make, Failure is relative and subjective, if you believe in it then it exists...Period..
I am shaken by the concept of someone who believes themselves to be a failure, you can never predict what things might take place later in life... some great failures have done amazing work {Galois}... If one actually believes themself to be a failure not only do they think of themselves in a negative way, but they most likely won't ever try to do anything {I will just fail, I am a failure after all...} What a horrid concept.......Where the hell does it come from ?.. I can imagine a society where the conept of a person as a failure does not exist... why would a primative society need that idea ?..People in that society wouldn't have any thoughts about failing to live life, beside the point that when you are a failure it is only that you have failed to live up to someone elses standards... So a failure is automatically a person shallow enough to let other people judge them...

Think of a person who beleives that others can be failures... They are definitly going to have some set of standards for what a {non-failure} might be, they will disregard anyone elses personal philosophy of life and simply measure them by some special individual standard. This amounts to jobs being denied to people who can do them quite well, education being denied,.... Women who won't marry a failure, ect, ect.... Mozart died without a penny, as did Van Gogh... are they failures ?? their piers saw them as such....In my opinion the failure concepts allows for two very negative results {depression, negative personal image and a terrible kind of intolerence which is typical of our society...} ... I believe that the idea of failure comes from public education, where have we all herd the word used time and time again ?.... And perhaps also from insensative and poorly educated parents...

3.) My own question to Sawatzki was this {In a world where ones thoughts/beliefs/actions are completely determined by the time/place of ones birth and being such are in no way a sign of the individuality of the person{and are also subjective}, how can any action/thought be considered more meaningful than a random collection of muscle spazms ?}
I asked this question because I don't believe that anything has meaning beyond pure chance {such as the chance of your time/place of birth}... and of course it is because of Sawatzki's class that I believe this. For a while I thought that perhaps the human mind is nothing more special than an electrical storm in some nebulous cloud adrift in space... {random electrical discharge, or at least discharges determined by a random collection of events...}... And so any idea of importance/success is completely subjective and of course all are equally non-binding... This is the entrance into nihilism and is not so much a philosophical opion as an objective/subjective fact of reality...The only saving grace is then of course to resourt to the human soul, but we must discover our own souls and that can only be done through introspection...
You might define the soul to be the knitting of subjective thought to objective reality {natural-rights-law-... and all that stuff...} But it takes a lot to be convinced of such things if you are not willing to accept them at face but instead demand good solid reasons{ And I suggest deep reflection on any you are given so that you can expose any holes in them...}.. We are ultimately forced to realise that in reality there is no good or bad, no right or wrong, no better and no worse... Life is life, and we are merely creatures of chance thrown into being.... We are completely justified in having our own opinions as to what is the right way to do things, what is the value of human life, if we ought to be or are truly free, if our government works or is even necessary... and so on down the infinite line of dogmas we have been fed without end since we first were able to grasp the english language... Stop taking everything for granted and truly realise the intense and overwhelming truth of being... Ask yourself real questions and define your own ideology... stop being a corporate/democratic/modern-world/... ect/ whore and seek your own meaning....Anyone who does not do this is someone that I would definitely call stupid... Ohh and Jeff I did not say that you were in college for money, I think more highly of you then that... I always give the benifite of the doubt to everyone {how else could I ever meet anyone with a unique and interesting perspective ?}....

EndRant