Lately, you all have been witness to some very interesting posts, about the nature of myself and jimmy. However, these posts have only been part-truths...
It is time that i string together these events and explain what you have all been witness to. So, i present to you the story of james and the Otterballs.
This true story takes place way back, about nine months ago, before i left for college. Life was great. I was preparing to go off to college at the university, and was in the process of saying my goodbyes to most of my friends.
Around this time james had found himself a companion. We did not know who it was because james starting disappearing from time to time. So, jimmy, andy, and myself decided to discover where james had been going to. What we found out was beyond disturbing. [and so we took pictures using my special camera.]
We found james tying his shoes as he was getting ready to leave with his new beloved. This woman nearly cracked the lens on my camera. All the dogs in the neighborhood went silent around her presence.
Upon seeing this horrid situation, we determined that we had to save our dear friend james. We figured that he just was not thinking straight...
Andy, jimmy, and myself decided to try and administer some medicine which we hoped would bring james to see the truth.
And so, we tried administering ridilin to him. Hey, the doctors in "The Exorcist" tried it, so we figured why not try it.
Well, we were all hopeful. After all, this was drastic measures, but we wanted to save our good friend. However, as we later found out...the ridilin had no effect. We saw james back with his large jello-based woman at Sharis.
Don't let that seemingly happy look fool you...he was hurting inside.
Seeing this put jimmy in a large rage. He had to stop his friend from being overwhelmed by the flabular beast. His rage became so great, that he went Super jimmoi Number 1 and attacked her head on:
And so jimmy powered up to save the fate of his friend...but as it would turn out, it just wasn't enough...
Though Super jimmoi Number 1put up a valiant fight, he was overcome, and then swallowed whole. That fat beast swallowed our good friend jimmy!
All seemed lost. What was worse was that seeing jimmy swallowed did nothing to bring james back. Andy and i were forced to give up...for the time being.
And so i went off to college. While in college, i enrolled in a special class involved with lighthouse studies. Here is what james was talking about. Indeed, i was enjoying myself at my post at the lighthouse. All seemed well...though i still mourned my two lost friends...
but all that was about to change:
I was sitting there, observing a flock of animals for my Compartive Animal Studies, when suddenly a floating imagine of former President Clinton appeared before me, and gave me a startling message. He told me to seek the mystical Otterballs. "Only with those will you be able to save your friends, and defeat the evil fat beast. I know...in truth, those were what i used to free myself from the clutches of monica and hilary!"
And so i set forth, on a great journey to seek out these unknown Otterballs. And that is when i came across the cave with the large woman beast. As it turned out, she was guarding them. Many had tried before to get them, and she had eaten them all. To save my friends, i sacrificed myself by living with her for months, in an attempt to get the Otterballs.
Then the day came. Right when she least expected it, i sliced her in half with a lightsaber that i fashioned out of the bones of those who had sought the Otterballs before:
I fought with everything i had, and though almost losing the battle, i managed to come out victorious. I slayed the horrid beast.
After that, i gathered the Otterballs together, and brought forth the great OTTER.
He came forth from the balls and told me that i had three wishes. I thought long and hard, and came up with the three wishes. First, i wished for james to see the truth in his relationship with the large beast. Second, i wished for jimmy to be restored from her gut. Finally, i wished for the beast-woman to be banished into the depths of space, so that no one would ever endure the pain that she had brought to james.
After making the wish, the great OTTER disappeared. I quickly went to see if the wished had worked...and thankfully it did. Jimmy was back, and james had lost all interest in his giant beast woman.
However, now there was a new problem. James had apparently become obsessed with me for saving his life.
James started walking around wearing a shirt with an obscene picture of me with many penises. He had become deranged... He even posted pictures of this desire on blogger...as you probably all have seen.
It took many times of me telling james NO...but he finally began to understand. He still is slightly obsessed...but not nearly as much.
After this incident, he became withdrawn...he had lost his love, and his obsession. And then suddenly...he remembered one person who admired him from the very beginning:
At once, he began his journey up the great Mt. Ranier to find his long lost ski instructor. He finally found him, and brought him a valentine's day card:
And that is the whole story behind the recent posts. I hope that has been informative.
Things are still going great between james and the ski instructor guy.
jimmy now fights crime against all fat horrid beasts of the world.
I am back in college getting my psych degree.
Everything worked out for the best in the end.
well, i guess this is growing up7
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