October 30, 2002


Another subject that...well....

A concept that many of us here are familiar with: I’ll take a break. Wait a year, then go to college. Man-o-man, does that not work. Don’t stop Bre, because you’ll never go back.

Not that I have reason to bitch.

Not that I’m bitching.

It’s just that....
I keep getting pressured to.
By people who never went to college. Or at least never got anything out of it.
And by people who did.

The trouble is: if I go to school now, I have to give up all I’ve gained to this point. Everything. There’s just no way I could work full time and go to school. All the people I’m around who do that are miserable. And tailoring my work hours to the classes I’d need to take-not possible.
I’d have to find another job. One that would without question pay considerably less. Leaving me with no free time and broke as hell.

The developing racing career would be done-leaving me to rebuild it when time allows.

So...fuck it. Fuck it all. I can get where I want to be from where I am....it will just take longer and mean a lot more hard-ass work along the way.

Which is another point.
The racing career.
It’s really getting tough.
I need to quit existing in the shadows of others.
If I don’t start building my own fucking cars, I’ll never get anywhere. The Toyota I have can’t be what I need it to be. My brother’s car is just that-his car. It wouldn’t exist if I hadn’t learned Honda EFI inside and out in two days to build it....but that doesn’t mean shit. When he races it, he races it. So what if I’m standing there...holding a fucking wrench.

But he doesn’t race it enough. His lack of motivation has become the excuse for mine.

Just another excuse.
One among many.

We need to get the Friday night crew going again. It would seem that the largest part of the crew is 21 now. We should get together somewhere....somewhere that we couldn’t before. Someplace like Jillian’s. Well, we could have been there before....but that’s not the point.

This being the high-motivation crew, I’m sure that will happen soon.


I haven’t done a post this size in some time.
Maybe I should get a livejournal.....

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