Once a long time ago - or well not so long ago as about a couple weeks - in a place far far away - or well not so far away in-as-much as in a little town called ROY - there lived a young man ( or well - not man as much as a twenty year old eccentric ) - who had fallen asleep... Yes it is a terrible thing to fall asleep - especially for this twenty year old eccentric who's job it was to make sure that http://slugs.blogspot.com/ was frequently posted to with witty jabs so that people may say to themselves :

THANK GOD I'M NOT AS STUPID AS HIM!

but not to worry! There was always a young man by the name of JEFF who always jumped in and saved the day - compelling people to appreciate that they were who they were. Now Jeff was in college - and from time to time he came by to post and reassure everyone that no, even going to college can make you pretty stupid. Jeff supplied people with even more posts. Posts that made people think to themselves :

I'm glad I didnt go to college...
I might have turned out like that.
but a tragedy had struck!


Jeff was too busy off thinking about " STUFF " - stuff about college and ... and college - and college stuff! AND YES - He was wearing his pink striped THINKING CAP OF GREAT STUFF that he had absent-mindedly bought at a garage sale one day. He was off in la-la college stuff land, and never posted! It was a disaster! Nobody was around to post random witty banter in which to make people reflect upon their lives and be thankfull for not being anyone but themselves. It was total choas! Who would make people think :

I never knew the world was full of such idiots.

Along came a large penis-shaped man! He got it into his head that he could save the board from it's destined downward spiral of " good " decay. That he could rejuivinate the board - that he could post pictures of funny things, of things that would brighten people's day. Things that would, instead of showing the board the deep dark and horrible stupid side of life - that he would show them the funny, witty, secretive deception of the covered up Truth. He was going to be mulder in the X-files and uncover all that which was unknown.


Soon he posted. With pictures and " THE TRUTH " being told. With text, and more pictures. He wanted to bring to the board laughter. He wanted to make the board a better place. With happiness, and good times, where everyone knows your name. Where smiles were fun things that spread across one's face as they perused through that which is the board. Where things were great - and life was great - and everything was great - including his posts.

but. . .


Nobody laughed. Nobody smiled. They just stared, blankly. A tumbleweed passed by. Churchbells were heard in the distance. A dog down the street a couple blocks barked and the sound reverberated down off of the walls of other subsequent houses and you could hear it out your window. Crickets chirped. Snow fell on cedars. Silence... Nobody could say anything... but the old saying went :

If you cant say something nice : bullshit it.
The nothingness was deafening. But it quickly filled up with " good job " and " great stuff " and so on. And with these " good jobs " and " great stuffs " The penis man posted more such atrocities. More bullshit ensued. Things were tainted with this odd taste - a taste of fabrication. Of things not quite right. It was like biting into a great Jumbo Jack from Jack in the Box and finding out right after the first bite that it isnt a BEEF PATTIE in as much as a BULLSHIT PATTIE.


In the end - James was going to wake up and post a big long post about it with great pictures and so on so that everyone could say to themselves :

What?

But with the sun in the sky, smiling away with it's happy-go-lucky smile, and everyone all with happy-go-lucky smiles on their faces - James decided fuck them and stayed asleep.


THE END
:)