It's funny the things that can change your life..................



Last night I was sitting with some friends at their house, we will call them Mr.X and Mr.Y . These guys were fellow smokers and coffee drinkers. One of them Mr.X lifts up his pack of marlboro meduim cigarettes and says to me "How long have I been smoking these ?" I say "About three years." He says "HAHAHA three years I switched to these lighter ones thinking I would step down and quit!"... We all laugh for a second.... Mr.Y says "you know we have been smoking for about seven years now.".. I say " I can feel it killing me slowly.".. There is a sudden silence as everyone looks somewhat distrubed.. similtaneously Mr.X "yeah"... Mr.Y " yeah".. I say.. "That is the sickest part about it, the part I don't understand very well... I can feel my body die little by little, I know that it's because I am smoking, yet, I need to smoke..." .. another silence.. "Mr.X,Mr.Y change the subject and I write this poem in my head as I sit there.............


Touch the HOT! stove--------------------------------
BUrniNg.. sizzle--------- {puff}
It burns and scabs and kills a little........... mmmMMMmmm {aroma}--- ........ I NEED --------- TO
I MUST, I WANT, I LOVE, please let me ................ Touch the HOT! stove........{Addiction..} (It hurts when I don't) HURTS ME
I can feel it killing me ........FEEL MY BODY DIE
Help ..... stop ............. the ............... feelings............ in ........... my ...........body...............................

(S)omething that I must do
(M)ore than any other thing
(O)hh I know it hurts me
(K)ills me slowly
( I ) need to stop and it hurts when I try
(N)o one really knows what it's like
(G)etting to watch themselves commit suicide.......



Mike ............ "I have decided to quit !"..... my body 'Can't stop need to smoke' ..Mike............."okay one last one just for now, I can do this.."........
MMmmmMM "one last cigarette"... FIN X X........
___..................
U







SO this is why I am now quitting smoking... I am not morbid enough to continue slow suicide ... I don't like the feeling of impending self inflicted death....