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Job History

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Most of us have a job, or have had one before. Except for james. He has been trying for the longest time to get one, but has never actually had one...or so he has led us to believe...

Right now, as some of you probably know, james is trying to get a job with a box company. He is quite proud of that. In fact, tomorrow he has an interview with the box company, and if all goes well, he will be a box worker.

Here james is showing off his new soon-to-be job as a box worker. He is quite proud. Just look at him.

Yes indeed, james is quite proud and excited that he may soon have his first job. But, is this the whole truth. Well, after some investigative digging by myself and my associate Mr. Harry Wapler, we have found out quite the opposite. Our good friend james lied to us. He has had a job before that he does not want us to know.

Ladies and gentlemen, there was a dark time in james life when he was confused and took a job that today he would never have taken. Yes, that's right...he was the Personal Assistant for HANSON.
Here is an image of james' during one of his job functions as personal assistant. I pulled it off an old video archive and used the Speech to Text translator to bring out the words:


I'll give you all a second to recooperate from that shocking news before i continue...
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Okay...yes, i know what you are all thinking...
"How could this be james...how could you do this?"

Well, in his defense...he was quite a different person back then...and very confused. In fact, at one point, james and hanson actually formed a seperate group and put out an underground album...though it never did any good.

After searching for some time, i found the album cover for their group: jAmSOn

According to the website that i found this on, a crazed Hanson fanatic site, this group didn't do very well at all. Supposedly this is their only album out. The name was james' idea, after his belief that to him, hanson was like junk food. In his words on the back of the album, "Good, but too much at one time can be bad for ya."

If you think that's bad though, i even found a track on their album...
after hearing it, i had to stop myself from chopping my ears off, and burning them in a fire.
If you feel like hearing james' musical ability in his stint with the jAmSOn's, just click here to download it:
jAmSOn's GuyBop!
or you can listen to it right here.
http://students.washington.edu/nonfinis/jAmSOn[guybop].mp3

Yes, that is quite frightening isn't it?

If you think that was shocking to you...imagine the surprise James' good...uhm...associate, Mr. Ski Instructor, had when being told about Hanson and jAmSOn, and his personal assistant job. I thought he'd be grief stricken...but he had a rather different response:



Yes...quite shocking indeed.
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