I moved something on the floor and a spider scurried away. I laughed. I looked at the spider run ( nowhere out of my sight ) and thought to myself " wouldnt it be neat if I was that spider? " ... I played with the concept of building webs and being predatory - hiding under miscelaneous books that the large being known as " James " has collected in random places on the floor - and I laughed some more / why ? / because soon after having that thought the spider was almost to the point of " saftey " and so I picked up a shoe and SMASHED IT --- NO MORE SPIDER !!! ....

oh, by the way, that's why I was laughin / because I was going to smash it anyway.
I figured I'd explain that merely because there may be some out there who didnt catch onto that little bit of information and all... Anywho - let us begin my post, shall we? I think we shall!

So I was a this swinger's party yesterday : what? You dont know what a swinger is? Well - let me kindly inform you // A swinger is someone who partakes in sex with multiple people who also partake in sex. Kinda funny eh? Well the trick is if you want to sleep with someones' wife, you've got to let them sleep with yours / and guess what buddy ( ? ) - I don't have a wife. In fact, when I meet a girl I think I feel like skewering - I just go up to the guy she's with / and point at some random girl in the room say : " THATS MY WIFE, WANNA TRADEZOR?! " ( now of course I dont say -ZOR, but that's just for fun at the moment ) --- and he sees the random girl and goes " SURE! " and then goes over there to introduce himself, leaving me with his wife. YUM. ANywho - where was I? Oh yes ----

So I was at this swinger's party yesterday and this girl - from out of NO WHERE comes up to me, pulls off her pants ( rather quickly I might add ) and SLAMS IT RIGHT ON ME. I was surprised as you are now { in fact it reminded me of the beatles girl who once sucked me off } anywho - so I was stunned, suprised, and in shock from this girl slapping her bare ass on me. A friend of mine took a picture of it too. here's that picture :



Yeah... that was some crazy stuff, I tell ya what. She was some crazy whore. Later on we caught her trying to rub her breasts against a stuffed yak. Thats when the owner of the house called the cops - and then she tried to throw her hair onto the police calling them midgets from planet hell. Poor girl. She was kinda-sorta hot too, I would have given her a good time. But instead some cute blonde came up to me and asked if I had a long tounge. I stuck it out, flipped it a couple of times, and she quivered with the thoughts I could do. She asked me if I had any experience with cunnilingus - I lied and told her " No ma'am, you'd have to teach me! " - women are always suckers for the whole " teach me " wrap. So she said she knew an open room, grabbed me by the hand, and directed me upstairs. Sure we had some small talk on the way there - but both of us knew the only one " talking " would be her moaning my name. Which I told her right before we entered the room. " My name is James " I said - " Why do I care? " she said - I said " So you know who's name to moan. " --- See? I knew it was coming. or rather - that she would be ... we got up to the room and there were little " spermies " all over the wall - I thought to myself that the guy who owns this place must put on ' parties ' a lot. So what, I looked down at the bed and she had already laid back, gotten nude, and spread her legs for me. I dived in.



We were up there ( in the room with spermies ) for quite awhile - I don't know exactly how long - but it was pretty damn long. When I was through, she couldnt get up - her knees had gone out on her and her legs wouldnt work. I laughed. It was funny. I went back downstairs and who should I see?! MY ARCH NEMISSIS - DR.WHO? ... I called him DR.WHO? because I didn't know who he was - because he always wore that bloody mask. I briefly thought over to myself that it could be Jimmoi / or maybe Jeff - one of the two / but then why would they follow me? Hmmm.... All I knew is that DR.WHO always followed me wherever I went, I just couldnt get away from him. Once I went to a rodeo and there he was riding one of the bulls. That bastard. I didn't know the girl he was with. But she obviously looked jealous / maybe her husband found a better looking man than she did. who knows. that's the way life is in the fact-track that is being A SWINGER.



Eventually I got home to my wife - yes, my wife. So I lied in the begining / what man in his right mind would bring his wife to a swinger's party? Anywho - so I got home to my wife ( after a wild time at the party ) and proceeded to just MAKE LOVE to her. It lasted longer than I expected, and she didn't get any sleep for work the next day. Go Figure.





-end.