[Where everybody knows your name...]
I found out something rather interesting this weekend. Who out there remembers a guy by the name of John Raztenberger? Nobody? Yeah, that's because he's better known as Cliff Clavin. The stupid mailman guy from Cheers. He also had a voice role on the Disney movie Toy Story, and Toy Story II. You know...the guy nobody in there right mind would want to be like, mostly because he lived with his mom since he was a child, and she controlled everything he said and did. Hey...wait a minute...that kinda sounds like a certain buttsex-loving person i know... But anyway, i digress...
The point of mentioning Mr. Ratzenberger is because i have recently discovered the location of his whereabouts. Would you believe that he lives in Washington?? Well, its true! In fact, my girlfriend has even met him before. He tried to act all tough and scare a bunch of drunken, half pot-filled future target employees away from the pay phones so that she could make a phone call...he wasn't very successful of course cause he's like old...but still... Anyway, he lives on the island of Vashon, which is just 20 miles away from the University.
"So what does this all mean jEFF?"
Well, i'll tell you what this means my good friends...it means i might have a new actor for my brandspankin' new re-release of the Bethel Slayer. Okay...maybe not...but then if i harass him enough with posters and fliers then i might get somewhere. Hey, it worked to get President Bush elected, didn't it? (Of course, it didn't really work for Pat Bucanon, who last i heard tried to get my friend jOe to vote for him...after the election was already over....strange indeed.) Even if he doesn't decide to have a starring role aside the great jOe Macauley, or do a voice for the movie, he could always star in a different movie of my design. Or, at the very least, he could do the promotions for my movies... He does those mail postage commercials after all. (Which of course brings up a whole different issue: Why on earth would he want to re-associate himself as a moronic mailman who was never successful in anything except for having a dominating mother...hmmm Freudian perhaps?)
I know some of you out there probably doubt that i know where he lives...cynics. But i do! I even took video footage of the gate and the "warning, if you punk kids come around i'll blow yer foot off!" sign, and when i get the chance i'll post the pictures of the gate to the road that leads to his house. Is that proof enough or what?
In the meantime, enjoy these photos that shows Mr. Ratzenberger endorsing my movie... There'd be more if i could have pilfered more or actually gotten him to pose for some, but that's all in good time.
Cliff really enjoyed my movie, and want's all of you to see it too!
Mr. Ratzenberger seen here considering being the killer for a possible sequel...will he be the killer? You'll have to wait and see!
Nice.
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