[TiPS FOR SURViViNG CURTiS]

I read today the horror that poor Zach had to endure when he had his first encounter with the entity known as Curtis. I remember my own horrific first meeting with the Cardboard King. I had to deal with him for over a year, and at times during the night when Target had us on a night shift. Personally, i am quite surprised that i survived the ordeal. It is for this reason, and others, that i am now going to present the "Tips for surviving Curtis", for any of those who may become as unfortunate as Zach, Mr. Miller, or myself have been. I would strongly urge those who read this to pay close attention and give consideration to these tips, for they may save your life one day.

And now, the tips:

1. NEVER stare directly into the eyes of curtis. This will most likely cause him to go into a frenzious rage of throwing cardboard boxes about and foaming at the mouth.



2. NEVER say anything bad about cardboard, corrugated paper, paper mills, or anything else in the subject field of paper.



3. If Curtis calls you by a name other than that which is yours, just smile, nod, and walk away briskly. He might try to mate with you.



4. Most important of all, NEVER ever allow yourself to smell like cardboard. This might make curtis do one of many things, including:
5. Mate with you.
6. Start going into a frenzious rage and urinate on you to mark his territory.
7. Throw you into the bailer to crunch you as if you were cardboard.


Remember to follow these guildlines and you too can survive an encounter with the Curtis.

I have more to say about other topics, but i have to go to class now.
Nice.