Rules, Regulations - and Really ... now.

somewhat of a defense for myself - normally in such instances would I even defend myself? I do not know. I do not know much of anything, now-a-days, but these things I do know :

1. Running around in the morning does help one to be more active - for not only does it make one physically awake, but also puts one in the mindset of " going somewhere " or - better yet : " DOING SOMETHING " rather than sitting around, or sleeping

2. VITAMINS WORK - I tested them out myself and in comparison, without vitamins normal everyday activites may drag - however with vitamins it, instead of dragging one down - it merely takes away the energy that would normally be supplied with the vitamin - leaving one with more energy what have you. Having more energy supplies one to do more things, as ... we'll say - running around in the morning.

3. Having shorter hair is to no real extent asides from the fact that my showers are taking too long now.

4. and as for the military.

I can follow orders rather efficiently. I have come to the stark realization that nothing has any real reason or purpose to it. So, dig a hole in the ground for no other reason asides from digging a hole in the ground? Sure, why not? I make boxes for a living - there is no real difference. How could I not tell someone in a higher rank than me to " fuck off " so to speak? Because it would be my job not to. And - given time, I would have power : it would be me telling people to dig holes in the ground, why? BECUASE IT DOESNT MAKE ANY FUCKIN' DIFFERENCE. As for four hours of sleep? Dear, not to be rude or anything - But I use to work twelve hour shifts and have trouble sleeping - I'd get four to six hours of sleep every day. It was easy. Much easier than these eight hour shifts Im on now where I get seven to nine hours of good ol rest.

The running. The vitamins. The soon to do pushups+situps+(jumpingjacks, never thought of that!)+weights. The re-arrangement of my room and removal of a bunkbed to be replaced with a smaller bed in which I will make every morning and maintain to a military fashion ( my father was a first seargent, he shall show me how things are done ) - these will all be self - tests to see if I have what it takes.

I can tell you now, I do.

Because I have something inside of me which burns twice as bright as anyone else I've ever met.
Its special and it wants to do something for a change.
It wants to be alive and it wants to make a difference.

It is sick and tired of the way that I have been treating my life.
My living style has become a drain onto it and now it is speaking up.

And now?

Now im going to listen to it.