Cari Hartman just sent me the most charming of emails. She sent this huge list of ways to combat a rapist, to avoid situations in which you "make yourself" a target, etc. She sends a lot of these things to a lot of people-I suppose in an attempt to seem more interested in everyones welfare-and it always makes me laugh. You can always point out people who never have had such experiences. I know no other way of putting it other than the most obvious and blunt way: It's always easy to blame a person in a situation you've never been in for what they did wrong, how they were at fault for the situation and its subsequent development into the most horrifying and humiliating of experiences. I should post the list. Then, you all could read it and see how much sense it all makes, and forget to think about what happens when it doesn't all work as is expected and promised.