It seems I must address several things at the moment - but first lets start off with how I woke up. It is currently 10.23 in the morning - A.M. - and I woke up with a bang! Not only did I have a whole cup full of Flam Cake batter, but it was the extra chunky kind fromo FLAMco. So with my full cup I was able to make two extra chunky flam cakes. That means extra hissing, extra bubbles, and most of all - extra chunk. I'm telling you, it was a very, very good morning for me,, reguardless of the fact I woke up at 10.23 in the morning.

( personal note : now that I realise I wake up at this time, that would go to explain why 1 and 2 in the afternoon - P.M. - come so quickly to me. I had originally thought I was loosing time from aliens who like to make incisions in my back and give me large scars that knowbody knows how got there )

So after my flam cakes I rushed to get online, not to check blogger mind you - but to check webmd.com or something along the same lines, because I'm damn sick of flam cakes. Ironically - to my surprise, webmd.com actually exists. I must have seen a commercial for it somewhere out there, over that multicolored homosexual-symbolic rainbow. But, to my disadvantage - i was stunned and left in awe by the big words, and realised that webmd.com will only give you information if you are a member. that is bullshit. so - i have to live my life from now on with flam cakes .... or just close my window. So in my fleeting search for help i went to yahoo.com and got this back : click here

As you can see, there are a whole lot of Flam, a whole lot of Cakes (aproximately 102) - but nothing from FLAMco in the prevention of FlamCake batter. Woe is me. So then I came here to blogger to find more things to entertain me.

First I found that we now have movie-critics posting. This is swell. I myself could give you all my intrepretation of Lolita (colored version) and Lolita (black/white version) - but I dont think even that was meant for the board. I'll just say this :

Omega Code - Great stuff, four thumbs up, Joe on crack.

Red Dawn - With the onset of RA2 in my mind, Mmmmm.

Plan 9 - Almost as good as Omega Codes, lacking such catch phrases as "Jesus, save me" but with it's own such as "Even alive he couldn't catch me." Definately a winner.

Glen/Glenda? - Not recommended for those who would fall asleep through the black/white version of Lolita. However, lacking the "We've open minds" mentality of Lolita, something to watch when nude and nobdy else is around the house. Loud music a must have. Preferrably Yani.

Slacker - My udder-most ( heee ) favorite movie of all time. Many movies ( such as Magnolia ) have tried to reproduce it's classic-ness, and have failed. Magnolia sucked, with exception to the point of the movie and the frogs/toads. Slacker, however, is a pure bliss-ment of goodness that nobody (correction: everyone but me) cannot like.

And there are my movie reviews. By the way, When I was reading up on newspapers for my reports I ran across an article on "Dude, whar dun be mah truck" and found that it (the screenplay) was around 54 years old in the making. This little unknown fact has peaked my interest in the matter of watching this movie - and now that Jimmoi has seen it and raved about it - this almost makes me want to see the movie. Oh - and just in case you think I'm bullshitting : NeWs tRiBuNe rEpOrT - bitch. And to further prove my point - just in case jimmoi is too lazy to actually click on the link, i present this :

"Il Duce, Wo ist Mein Kaiser?" In 1946, a young German screenwriter named Heinz Beitchman leaves Heidelberg for Hollywood with a fistful of pfennigs and a head full of dreams. AND THEN "Duke, Where's the Cavalry?" John Ford pitches John Wayne on this 1952 project, which is variously described as a low-concept "High Noon" (Photoplay) and a high-concept "Low Noon" (Redbook) AND THEN Judah, Where's My Chariot?" In this horse-drawn vehicle for Charlton Heston - a kind of hymn to "Ben-Hur" - Judah succumbs to a lethal cocktail of jealousy, leprosy and Hennessy. AND THEN "June, Where's My Cleaver?" Selznick's son Stevie, buoyed by the success of "Psycho" and the popularity of "Leave It to Beaver," invents the slit-com. AND THEN "Freud, Where's My 'gar?" In a Viennese sleep disorder clinic, the father of psychotherapy spends the entire screenplay interpreting a nightmare about his mother's cigar. AND THEN "Prude, Where's My Jar?" King of Cajun cuisine Paul Prudhomme (Dom DeLuise) is accused of stealing the strawberry preserves of Julia Child (John Goodman). AND THEN Juice, Where's My Fee?" Dream Team lawyers Johnnie Cochran, Robert Shapiro and Barry Scheck have 123 minutes to recover recompense from their bankrupt client, O.J. Simpson. AND THEN "Newc, Where's My Karma?" George W. Bush, still woozy from his 1976 arrest for driving under the influence, has an existential exchange with his passenger on that night, the Australian tennis star John Newcombe. AND THEN, FINALLY "Dude, Where's My Car?" Two Gen Y stoners wake up one morning with no memory of their party the night before, or any idea where their car is, why their fridge is full of chocolate pudding or how their agents talked them into this vehicular suicide.

Ok. Now that I've given myself a very large backing up ... *grumbles something about war being a crime against humanity unless it's not impersonal* I now have a headache. Why I do not know. I will go eat me some tylenols. yes. ... these things better kick in fast... ok - final statements :

Napster - I have beat RA2 for the soviets. the ending is not fullfilling. I find that saddening-full. I expected the hot russian/soviet chick to strip nude and perform carnal acts of fellatio upon me for saving the world from the Capitalist threat. She, however, did not. She just smiled. Damn her and her un-fellatio-ness. Maybe she's just waiting for the right moment when I'm "king of the world" and she'll come in my office with a nightie on and say "hey mr. king of the world i've got a little something you should brief" and the next thing you know she's wearing nothing but thigh-highs and walking briskly towards me in my office-chair. She jumps onto my desk, which had previously been occupied by documents of which Capitalist books I should focus on burning this month, and looks deeply into my ........ errr.... whoa there. sorry about that. In any event. Um... where was I?

Oh yes - I'm still working on a way in which we can play RA2 online ... and unfortunately I cannot figure out how to make RA2 play over a LAN :| Pisses me off! When do you need the CDs? Other things - at the Old Country Buffet do they sell Flam Cakes? They probably do. And it's ok if you cant make it - Olive Garden takes presedence over Paintball ANY DAY. uh. Two cats just ran past my window. Both of them are Brice's. I wonder if they were having some sort of homosexual cat-sex on my front door. Why else would they be there? I do not know.

As for Karl - Mr. R's intelligence is debateable ( mind you Mr. R you are still a good associate ) - however Karl's intelligence wasn't even that. It was subversive. With comments ( which i cant remember at the time ) that were degenerative and something that would have spewed from the hard-core viewpoint of a "Slipknot's best songs of the 90's" album teeny. WARGH! Besides - if you cant make it, none of us know him so there's no real big problem ;)

Achk. Headache isn't going away. Must. . . . Lay . .. down.
Hopefully Heather calls me in light of my post again! To think we talked practically 'all day' with phone calls! I feel like a strapping young buck attracted to that . . . that . . . . ah shit. what are female horses called? Foals? no, thats the babies. or is it? ... mares are boys.... if a mare is a boy, then what the fuck is a buck? maybe bucks arent horsies....... uh. I feel like a BULL attracted to that hot, sexy.... wait ... no, calling someone a cow would have impressions of 'un-good-ness'. WELL FUCK.

...

AH HAH! I FEEL LIKE A JAMES ATTRACTED TO THAT HEATHER OVER THERE. BAM! sukka! how you like that one?

( goes to lay down )