April 27, 2003

You're so wrong with your jive

so get this.
My favorite idols growing up?

in no particular order :

1. Heathcliff - because he could beat the damn shit out of Garfield anyday of the week. Including fake days that I make up like " Froomday " and " Choawzaday " - yes, even during those days Heathcliff could open up the can o whoop all over Garfield. Because Garfield sucked shlongs and Heathcliff had a girlfriend.

2. Andre the Giant. He was the shit. He died tho. But he was big. If you ever watch old footage of him wrestling you can see how huge he was. His hand - when i was little ( hell maybe even now ) - could have probably constituted my ENTIRE torso.

3. Since we've all mentioned transformers - my favorite transformer was STARSCREAM - the airplane guy with the schreechy voice who always tried to " one up " Megatron and in the movie he does and kills megatron because megatron was a BITCH - and yeh. He could fly and shoot things where-as megatron had to have someone HOLD HIS ASS to do any good ( he turned into a gun )

fuck megatron. Starscream = the shizzit
Profile: Starscream makes no secret of his ambition to overthrow Megatron as Decepticon Leader. He is ruthless, cold-blooded and cruel. In that sense the two rivals are very much alike. But he has a vain side that clearly distinguishes him. He considers himself the most sophisticated and handsome of the Decepticons. He exudes a high-class, urbane air that provides a certain irony to his murderous tendencies. He looks down at Megatron for being antiquated in his military strategy. Starscream believes the Decepticons should rely more on guile and speed rather than brute, destructive force to defeat the Autobots. Megatron overlooks the potential threat Starscream represents for one very good reason: Starscream is very good at his job.

Abilities: Starscream is one of the fastest flyers of the Decepticons, reaching speeds up to Mach 2.8. He can climb to sub-orbital altitudes of 52 miles and nose-dive down to near ground level in mere minutes. This makes him particularly effective in surprise attacks and hit-and-run actions. He can shoot cluster bombs a distance of 40 miles, each of which can level an area 10,000 feet square. His null-ray rifle can interrupt the flow of electricity in any circuitry it hits for periods of up to two minutes, effectively preventing the operation of many machines dependent on those circuits during that period.

Weaknesses: Starscream overrates himself sometimes, and finds himself in situations that are more than he can handle. His nose-dives often overload his gyro-circuitry leaving him disoriented briefly. But, overall, he is a very tough nut to crack.

dolphin suck it.

4. DATA from STAR TREK THE NEXT GENERATION. Because he ownz0red over everyone and everything. Worf and his stupid " oh look at my face its all wrinkled " - Mr. Picard and his " oh my jesus I am so bald " - then there was " Number two " who was, well, shit.

5. my sentimental piece for this post : I actually admired the ever-lonely LITTLE PRINCE who lived on an asteroid in space - talked to a flower - and chased butterflies with a net.

thats it.

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