well, as i figured, i did not miss much around here at all. I shall proceed to tell you why kristmas is a krap holiday...
1. santa { does exist *will explain in further detail later* }
2. "a kristmas story" played for exactly 24 hours
3. my family knows what it is getting every year
4. we open things kristmas eve night instead of the morning every other family does.
5. i get broken stuff.

I shall further explain number 5 then proceed with number 4, 3, 2, and finally 1.

5- I was overjoyed this year when i piked out my present at walmart, a poloriod photomax digital 320 kamera and all of its software. however, i tried to use the damn thing and diskovered that it is broken and must be returned. However, seeing as how the holiday season tends to wipe out the stores they will not have my kamera untill almost february. merry kristmas.

4- about 5 or 6 years ago my family all had the flu really bad and desided that we would prefer to sleep in kristmas morning due to the fakt that getting up early would kill us all... so every year sinse then the magikal illusion of santa (or satan as max would have it) has been kompleatly destroyed. merry kristmas.

3- to take the guessing out of kristmas (as well as the wonders of suprize) my family has devised a plan to just tell eachother what they want or what they are getting, there is never any suprize and all the merryment is taken out of the holiday. there is no joy like opening something that you already knew you were getting. merry kristmas.

2- this one should be self explanitory, why the hell would any person on the fase of the earth need to watch this damn movie 12 times?! what that man was thinking when he made this deal only God will know, and i hope that he punishes that man severely for it. merry kristmas.

1- santa {does exist, here is how i know for a fact.... }

A.--His special species of reindeer kan fly. BUT there are some 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be klassified, and while most of these are insekts and germs, this does not KOMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer – which insidently only Santa has ever seen {because they are super special and magikal.}

B.--There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn’t (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total – 378 million akording to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (sensus) rate of 3.5 children per household, that’s 91.8 million homes. One presumes there’s at least one good child in each, {thats a lot of people and Santa is SUPER FAST ( as explained in part C ) }

C.--Santa has 31 hours of Kristmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logikal). This works out to 822.6 visits per sekond. This is to say that for each Kristian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a sekond to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stokings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snaks have been left, get bak up the chimney, get bak into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of kourse, we know to be {ENTIRELY TRUE} but for the purpose of my kalculations we will aksept), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not kounting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, IE. mikturation, defikation and etc, {but santa kan exklude those aktivities bekause he's SUPER HUMAN. }

This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per sekond, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of komparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth (the Ulysses space probe) moves at a poky 27.4 miles per sekond –a konventional reindeer kan run, tops, 15 miles per hour, {SO OBVIOUSLY his reigndeer are magikal and he breaks all known scientifik konventions known to man. Not only does he have a fast sleigh and dedicated majikal reindeer that fly, He's one swell, super, special guy as well! }

D.--The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is karrying 321,300 tons, not kounting Santa, who is invariably deskribed as {jolly}. On land, konventional reindeer kan pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying {majikal} reindeer" (see point #1) kould pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This inkreases the payload –not even kounting the weight of the sleigh—to 353,430 tons. Again, for komparison, this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth. 5.353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per sekond kreates enormous air resistanse –this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spase krafts re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per sekond. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously {had it not been for their majikal powers.} The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a sekond. Santa, meanwhile, will be subject to sentrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity {but he doesnt, bekause he wears his seatbelt, WEAR YOUR SEATBELT KIDS! -- SANTA DOES!}

In konklusion – {Santa always delivers presents on Kristmas Eve, but ONLY IF YOU ARE GOOD, SO BE GOOD.}

I sinserely hope you all had a MERRY KRISTMAS!
Remember: all good children go to Heaven {AND GET PRESENTS, NOT COAL}

{note : entry was changed to child-safe viewing. }