August 22, 2003

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it is asked, " what is the best job? "
oh this is easy, ( i say ) -
the 'best job' consists of a very well endowed blonde,
by endowed i mean breasticles, not testicles,
who spends the majority of her time around me on her knees.

she could be on her knees, and 'walking' or on her knees 'crawling' like a dog, but as long as she is on her knees, its all good.

oh shit - short hair too... short blonde hair. and grey eyes. and always wearing a skirt and always wearing some sort of really attractive shoes. she'll even keep them on in the shower. thats right. she'll wear shoes in the shower. motherfuckers. she's my shoe-wearing blonde-haired grey-eyed on-her-knees-all-the-time girl. where were we? oh. yes, the best job.

( on a side note, i would just like to point out to everyone that jeff never really ends any of his sentences. He always ends something with " ... " - which really agitates me because its like he never stops talking. When, in reality, all he does is listen to people talk about their shitty lives. Fuck, even I go to him sometimes and talk to him about my 'pee pee problems' I like to call them. Who else can I attack in this side bit? Oh. Zach is a flaming homosexual who always accuses other people of being gay. He has this 'projection' problem you see, he sees the faults ( or in this case, sexual prefrence ) in other people that are actually his own faults ( and sexual preference ) and he just cannot conciously deal with that fact ( that he enjoys taking it in the ass by spanish men who wear alligator suits and chant french songs about wiccan whores ) - and Jimmoi. Don't get me started on Jimmoi. You want to know the only reason why he's "getting on jordan's case" ? Because Jimmoi tried to 'get with' Jordan ( really, who hasnt Jimmoi tried to 'get with' - wait, no, thats Mike. In which case, what happened to mike rigney? - remember when I tried to make that a catch phrase? oh shit im going into a side tangent in a side note ) - So Jimmoi comes up to Jordan and asks him if he could give Jordan a blowjob and Jordan was like : " Dude, you're asian. Where is your car? " - and Jimmoi cannot help being asian. His slanted eyes gets him in trouble a lot of time, especially in the air force. His commanding officers always think he is 'falling asleep on the job' - and he says " SORRY SARGE ITS MAH EYES DEY IS SLANTED " - when in fact, he is just sleeping on the job. I dont know who to hit next so this is the end of my side note. )

and then she'll come up to me with like, drinks. Whisky on the rocks. In a nice glass, and say : " Sir, here is your drink. May I interest you in anything else? " while slowly rubbing my inner thigh. I'll look down to her and say " You know, now that you mention it, there is something else you might be able to get me. " - and I'll send her off to the kitchen to get something for me and watch her fine ass walk/crawl away on her knees.

Im pretty hungry.

thats the best job.

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