Happy Holidays, Folks!

So there's this song out on the radio right now - something called Momma's getting ready for Christmas or some such nonsense - and I know the feeling. I don't know if any of you have heard it, but its more or less about this looney toon woman who goes all nutso for Christmas, much to the inconvenience of her relatives, and it makes me realize that I know that woman.

Were there ever an award for 'Twisted Christmas', I am quite certain my family would have won it many times. It not so much that we have odd traditions - more that we've taken some of the 'normal' ones to extreme. We bake cookies and make candy - only so much so that we're lacking in places to keep it. We have a tree - or three, as we've gathered too many ornaments over the years to put them only on one. My father puts up Christmas lights - nothing beats the 'last Friday in November' tradition of calling 911 as he, again, falls off the roof. We even sing Christmas carols - though most of them are of a unique design.

I'm joining the likes of those who hate children, chocolate, and ice cream - people whose aversions often set them against the crowd - in that I don't think I care for Christmas. Even when the idea behind it has depressed me, even when the commercialization of that idea has gotten to me, it's never been like this.

This year, my father and sister put up a tree - and that was all that was done. There was no stressful weekend where we hurriedly attempt to unpack decades worth of Christmas collectibles. There are no inappropriate songs about a hated neighbor and what Santa and her are up to. Our cookie jars stand empty - no one's bothered making the hundreds of cookies it takes to fill them all up. There's nothing hung by the chimney with care - my father's not harassing neighborhood children dressed as St Nick. and I can tell you, at least one of us is in no mood for Christmas without mom.