May 27, 2003

New rule:

Don't IM, email or otherwise contact me by starting out with a bunch of shit that makes no sense. Seriously, learn and use correct grammar, punctuation and spelling. I am not about to try and decipher what the fuck someone meant by what they said. It's not that hard to type out what you want to say instead of typing a bunch of numerals and shit in place of words. "2" means "two," not "to" or "too." It goes between "1" and "3", not "want" and "go." "4" is not "for." "4" is a fucking number, you sloping-foreheaded mouth breathers!


Furthermore:

Michael, I can't help you with this particular mission. I don't have anything that fits the bill of what you need. My old blue POS truck is not licensed, and I don't have the time, energy or cash to deal with that right now. My Bronco is not a truck, the back is closed and covered. Lastly, I'll be damned if a $30k truck is going to have any part in beating the shit out of a piano. Huh-uh. No way. Get your ass in gear and get a fucking job. Since you're not going to school until September, you have no valid excuse for not even trying (see, the apostrophe followed by "re" is a contraction for "you are").


I've devoted years of my life to killing brain cells. What's your excuse?

Actually, that brings me to my next point: the theory of brain cell natural selection. You see, I'm not just killing brain cells, I'm killing the slower, weaker brain cells. Thus, I've left my skull filled with only the best gray matter, increasing my mental capa..........


...


What was I saying?

Eh, it must not have been that important.

I need a drink.

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