Wow dude, I thought I was fucked up. Shit.
Zach-O, man, you're a god.
Now, I'm not the type to fuck with people's stuff, but that fucking rocks.
I'd have probably done worse, such as the classic "Toda bounce," a technique perfected by a friend of mine, wherein you just jump-sit on the hood of the car as hard as possible, thus reshaping the hood to match your ass and the engine.
Or just waited for the guy and kicked his ass.
Another good suggestion I heard: steal one of the plates. When he reports it stolen, he'll either has to get new plates (that don't say what he wants) or get pulled over a lot. At gunpoint. Cause if you're driving a car with a plate that's been reported stolen (which lasts five years if not recovered) you're treated as if you stole the car.
To 16 year-old dipshit high school girl: When 30,000 lbs. of truck traveling at 55 mph meets 3,000 lbs. of car traveling 5 mph guess what happens. Oh, yeah, you figured it out. Better luck in the next life. Anyone calls her a victim needs to get smacked. The driver of that truck is the victim.
Oh, look, someone who was popular died, better call out all three local news channels. Fuck I hate that. If that had been any of us, it would have only been a footnote in tomorrow's paper.