April 22, 2004


I had forgotten about Jeepers Creepers...

but then I had also forgotten about Joy Ride. And Timeline.

And i realized, i forgot about those to for mental-survival reasons. Just as I'm sure that I'll forget about THE CORE.

Though you are right, Jeepers Creepers did suck.

But I would have to say, Steve, that there is a line that separates Jeepers Creepers and THE CORE. That line would be that at least Jeepers Creepers had some... be it limited, but some potential. I actually liked the opening sequence. The whole driving on a deserted road. That's actually realistically a little unsettling.

Of course, from that point on, the movie pretty much sucked. Especially the part where they run it over, and then the "Creeper" grows wings. Yeah... disappointed.

THE CORE however, that was just a sucky idea from start to finish... from the moment it was dreamed up in the corner of some person's over-ritalined mind to the moment it was unleashed without warning on the mass populus.

In addition... THE CORE took itself seriously. You know they did. They spent money on special effects. They spent money on advertising. They made "behind the scenes: making THE CORE" specials. That's just disturbing.

So from now on, i have decided to make my own rating list and base every single other movie on it. This movie rating system will place movies against THE CORE. (Now obviously this means that I will only use this rating system on movies that aren't too... spectacular.)

For example:

There will be three levels, broken down as follows: Crust,Mantle, CORE!

That's right. CORE obviously being a crapfest as bad as THE CORE.

So by my estimates, I would say that Jeepers Creepers was a Mantle. Joy Ride is a Mantle. Actually... hmm, i don't remember that crap too well, so it could have be a CORE.

Fast and the Furious - that's more on the fringes of suck. I never thought i would say this, but there were some... slight redeeming qualities of the movie in some way... So Fast and the Furious would be a Crust.

Timeline... oh my fuck. That was a definite CORE. I won't get into that just yet, because I'm still full of rage and disgust at that movie and at PAUL WALKER. That fucker stole two hours of my life... hours i will never get back.

So yeah...

And Mr. Collins, I wasn't saying you were gay... quite the opposite. I was saying you would never be gay... that was more a defense than anything.

You would be gay if you said you liked TIMELINE... but I know that won't happen. Cause if you did... well then I'd kill you.

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