October 26, 2006

Experiments in Standard Variable Space Manipulation and Time Distortion Fields

Jeff, Jeff, Jeff. As much as you’d like to think that I’m out here in Roy doing absolutely nothing productive with my time it would figure that you are absolutely wrong in such a conclusion. Absolutely. For example, I have just recently finished my first prototype with my hand-held trans-dimensional space-time (TDST) manipulator and have been doing some test studies on it.

And here you thought Roy was just full of cows and hicks – had you seen a little show by the name of Eureka on the Sci Fi channel, you’d know that’s exactly what everyone here wants you to think. Turns out, Roy is a hotbed of abstract scientific studies and there is a large lab deep underground the town where multitudes of experiments are held.

Once I found out about that, I quickly filled out forms to see if I could get this made. . .

And while it may not look like much, I assure you – there is a whole lot more going on in the inside. I’ve disguised it as nothing more than a portable keyboard connected to a dvd remote, but to the professionally trained eye, it is obviously not.

I've placed letters on the image to help me define what each piece is. (A) is the prompt selector, where you type in exactly what you want moved, and where/when you want it moved to. (B) is a highly volatile connectivity cord which I cannot fully disclose the material used to transfer data, but considering that we're dealing with metaphysical transmutations and space-time, you can certainly imagine that its potent stuff. (C) is the real meat of the prototype; it houses the space-folding drive, permutation calculator, and a few other gadgets and trinkets which I also cannot disclose at this time (Competitors you know)

I can, however, show you this quick-and easy test run I did at home on a glass table. On January 26, at approximately this hour in the morning, I took a photo of my glass table. I had made sure to completely clear off the table before taking the photo. Today, at roughly 10:44am, I cleared off that same table and placed a roll of toilet paper on it. Making sure to note that it was situated on the left side of the table. Then I fired up the TDST manipulator and put in the following information: 1. Roll of toilet paper on glass table. 2. Move// Approximately 1 foot to the right 3. Time// 9 months prior. Now at the time that I took the photo, remember that the table was cleared off.

Once I activated the TDST manipulator, here is that VERY SAME PHOTOGRAPH. Be sure to make note of the time stamp, that is very important. So you see, Mr. College Grad Fancy Dancy Jeff Paulino Smarty Pants Know it All ... I'm not just sitting on my ass doing nothing productive after all. Some of us are actually pioneering hardware in previously unexplored venues of space/time travel. Who knows, maybe this prototype will lead the world to a golden age of transportation where fossil fuels, or fuels in general are practically obsolete. Huh, you ever thought of that! DID YOU! NO I DIDN'T THINK YOU DID!



  1. wow that is really amazing I am a college professor and I would like to say that you have some great ideas here.

  2. This will revolutionize the world!
    You are a genius!

  3. James I think your device already exists...

  4. Wow. Weird how those anonymous comments were left one minute apart. . . I wonder if they came from the same person.