May 23, 2006

Cyber-Mega-INTRA-WEBtastic Security


One of the things that often happens at most places of employment is that you have to go through training. Be that safety training, cashier training, customer service training, sexual harassment training, potty training... whatever.

And often, it is one boring piece of shit experience.

We all know what I'm talking about. We all know, because we've all gone through it. Even those of us without jobs currently have still gone through it. Hell, they even put us through that bullshit in high school.

Of course, it's not always there fault. After all, there are some very stupid people out there that probably would do the most enormously stupid things, like playing with exposed electrical wires that are obviously sparking with electricity.

But for the rest of us, it is rather pointless, and almost insulting that we have to go through training, and also watch training videos, that seem to have been made for a toddler with Down syndrome (or for Fred Phelps. Fuck you Fred Phelps.)

My personal gripe is the safety videos and safety training... both of which I had to do again, as part of a yearly cycle. So I'm sitting there, at my nice and neat little offi-cube (a slash between an office and a cubicle for those of you that fall into the Fred Phelps category), doing the online training safety video... when we approach the topic of cybersecurity. And then this picture pops up:

Now honestly... what the hell is that? Why the hell would someone sit at a computer with a fuckin' ski mask? Most computers I know of (unless they are Macs) have no built in camera. And this being the VA, I can tell you that there are no cameras floating around overhead watching your every move. (We're too cheap and too underfunded for that.) So that means they paid some fucker to wear that ski mask and sit like a moron to take a completely unrealistic, childish, and downright insulting picture. It's like telling someone, "Now see here... if you aren't careful, this bad scary man with the mask could steal your information!!! Oooogadiboogadii boo!!!"

Stupid cybersecurity training video.

And seriously... what sad excuse for a human being would actually sit with a ski mask on in some chair and act all spooky bank robber like?

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