May 01, 2006

0004 - Most Hated, 2006

You know, you bastards should really come to Cupcake sometime.

Of course, you all are too busy playing WOW. Or whatever other MMORPG that has come along to grasp your attention. And for that, I hate you all.

Which reminds me of other things that I dislike.

That's right, it's the Hate List 2006. Or the Most Disliked. I don't remember... I just remember having some list that I would make on a yearly basis, when I remembered it.

So yeah. We'll try that again:

The "I Hate..." List 2006

  • 10. Smoker Guy on Bus - Now this isn't to say that I hate all smokers. I know Jimmy and DT like to smoke. Haha, there go your lungs you fuckers. But I don't hate them. What I do hate is this guy that gets on my bus after smoking the tree equivalent of all a state forest, and then saddles up right next to me. Damn you Smoker Guy on Bus.

  • 09. Brokeback Mountain Lovers - Not all those people that like Brokeback Mountain. Just the ones who like the movie and then get all pissy when I don't want to watch it. News flash people, just because a person doesn't want to watch a gay cowboy movie, doesn't make him a) homophobic, b) closet gay, or c) Tom Cruise. I don't really like very many cowboy films. So I have no interest in the movie. Oh, and I really don't want to see two guys doin' it. Doesn't mean I don't like gay people. I'm pretty sure there are plenty of gay people out there that don't like watching two straight people gettin' it on. You don't call them heterophobes.

  • 08. Bill Nye, the Science Guy - I just don't like the way your name sounds.

  • 07. Karl Rove - You haunt my dreams.

  • 06. Casper, the Friendly Ghost - Fuck you Casper. There is no way you are going to be that friendly all the time when your a ghost. Nobody can be. Not unless you are the ghost of Mother Theresa, and even then, I bet you'd be pissed off that your dead. And you can't be the ghost of Mother Theresa, or your name would be Mother Theresa, the Friendly Ghost. No, best bet is your the future ghost of Casper Van Diem, who died in the future, or is perhaps dead now, and went back in time to a time and place when people didn't know how much you sucked. And if you are him, Casper, I doubt you'd be that friendly, knowing that you were once Casper Van Diem. Unless you lose your memories when you die, then, and only then, would I see you being overly friendly, at having forgotten how much you suck.

  • 05. Tickle Me, Elmo - Pedofile.

  • 04. Harry Whittington - Pure stupidity. Who in their right mind would actually be five miles near Dick Cheney with a gun?? Good sir, it is your own fault.

  • 03. Suri Cruise - For being the child of Tom Cruise. Choose better parents next time.

  • 02. Every Single Contestant on American Idol - It is because of you all that that fuckin' show continues to stay on the air.

  • 01. Tom Cruise

    - Even if you tried, you couldn't be less of a douchebag than L. Ron Hubbard. You brainwash you actresses, impregnate them (which I still doubt, I think it was another Scientologist crony) with your vile seed, name your children idiotic names, create hyper-shitty movies like MI:2 (thank God, J. J. Abrams is making MI:3, so hopefully it won't be the shitstorm that MI:2 was - fuck you Woo, your making the list next year), and your name is Tom Cruise. Fuck you Tom. You've only been watchable in a few movies, and you can't even hold a candle to actors like Brad Pitt, Philip Seymore Hoffman, Christian Bale (to name a broad, diverse few)... hell, even Carrot Top (okay, maybe that was a bit overboard). But oh so how I loathe you.

Ah, there's something to be said about traditions, and about hating on Tom Cruise.

Fuck you Cruise.