Man. I had the worst day yesterday, and you know why? I had one of those days where, you know, you just kind of realize something about yourself that isn't too flatering? And no, I'm not talkin' about my ass. I already knew that wasn't too pretty. Rat Bastards.

So I went shoe shopping with my step mother, and the saleslady was all, like, "Is there something I can help you with?" and I was, like, "Sure, I need a back shoe." and she was all, "What kind of shoe" and I said "A heel - just anything taht'll look okay with my new dress." So she, bless her littlel heart,{James' middle name is Andrew} goes about trying to hook me up. She starts showing me shoes, and I was like:

"The heel's too short."

"The heel's too wide."

"I don't wear the spiked heels."

"That strap it too wide, and I want more than one."

"No, that's too many straps."

"I don't like the covered backs."

"Oh, honey - I don't wear mules."

"I thought the whole pointy toe thing went out in the 80's."

"That's not black - it's charcoal."


"The strap on the back could be wider"

So she says, "So what you're telling me is that you want any heel that's no shorter than 3 inches and no taller then 5, that's got a stap in the back that's not too small but also not one that enritely closes the heel off, with open toes, no more than two and no less that three slender straps going alternate directions across the toes, that have a heel that's slim but not spiked, with a squared toe in a dark black." and I say, "Yeah."




and she says "That's summer shoes -we don't stock stuff like that in the fall and winter."

So, like, for reals - if you guys were really my friends, you'd have told me at some point how neurotic I am. Or did I just ignore you when you did?