June 24, 2006

Chunky Beef Alert: Queen Beef

I'm a nice guy.

It's true. I don't even have to try. I genuinely care about other people... their welfare... their happiness... there what-have-you. That's just the type of guy I am.

That's one of the prevailing reasons why I got into psychology. To help people in the best way that I can.

But don't cross me. It's just one of those lines.

Some of you may remember when I was foolishly nearly driven into driving into an oncoming car in high school. (Oh, who am I kdding. You sons-of-bitches don't even read this board anymore because you're too busy playing WoW or some other WoW-type equivalent. Bastards...)

Over the years, I have singled out people who have done so... or who I just don't like for whatever reasons I have: David Sanders. Tom Cruise. Alphabet Soup.

Well, I have a new one. And lo-and-behold, she makes the newest installment of:

Chunky Beef Alert!

The Queen walks with her drone... searching for the beef.

Meet the leader of all that is Chunky Beef. Queen Chunky Beef. Sure, she might not look like the biggest CB out there... but you don't have to be to be the leader. Rest assured, she could eat you. Whole.

Let me explain something to you. You do NOT call the Seattle Animal Shelter on me to complain about how my outdoor cat is going to die because it has no shelter when it does have a fuckin' shelter all because you don't like that he's an outdoor cat. Boo hoo Chunkizilla. If you were so worried about my cat's health, you wouldn't fuckin' smoke around my cat. Why don't you take a wet nap to your inner lungs before you come near my cat again. Hey, I know, if you are worried about shelter, why not liposuct some of your body fat and build him a little home from it.

With the amount you have, you could build him the Taj Mahal.

But I know this one... she didn't call the Seattle Animal Society because she was worried about the shelter... she called because I didn't want to lister to her go on and on about the various dangerous associated with living outdoors. Funny, how in the thousands of years before cats lived in houses, they seemed to do alright for themselves in the wild.

And you know, I'm not annoyed that she was worried about my cat. I'm annoyed that she tried to enforce her Whalrus will upon me behind my back, while puffing her smoke in my vacinity.

Some of you might remember my old rants about kangaroos. Well, be prepared... because Tubtastic here is my new focus.

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