June 01, 2006

Chunky Beef Alert: The Dangers of Bus-Ridin'

Today I am starting a new special, called "Chunky Beef Alert" in which I bring to you, all those that read this blog (all 1 of you), the dangers of those I designate as Chunky Beef.

Now, before we get to the dirt and grit of the post, I should at least explain what Chunky Beef is and what Chunky Beef is not.

Chunky Beef IS NOT simply a large man or woman.

Chunky Beef is a large man or woman that pisses me off or is obnoxious.

Lastly, Chunky Beef is WHOEVER I say.

Simple rules, no?

And now, meet our first Chunk Beef Alert:

Much like pictures of the elusive Big Foot, Chunky Beef Bus-Man, dodges behind urban "trees" to avoid the camera.

I have a problem with people who blantantly don't take care of themselves and then demand compensation. It's like someone who drinks when they have liver disease. And I'm not talking about those who have mental health issues. That's different. The ones who simply refuse to try and change... they bother me.

So the same goes for this Chunky Beef. I ran into this, and barely survived a mauling, when I was waiting for the bus. While waiting, Chunky Beef Bus-Man was sitting on a bench (all of the bench) smoking a cigarette outside of the smoking shelter. Contaminating my air. Yeah, that's right. Fat and smokey... and then he cuts in front of me while getting on the bus.

Fuck you Chunky Beef Bus-Man. I do not need to make space for you when you are threatening my existence with your gravity-altering mass of destruction. You're very presence has probably altered the tidal ebb and flow of the oceans.

Hey, here's a thought: Try a Lean-Pocket with some Nicotine Gum!

I know it sounds mean, but if you were trying to be healthy, I would not have a problem with you.

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