August 05, 2004

Hello everyone. It seems the board still has some life in it yet.

I hadn't checked it, and therefore was not around to participate and contribute my ... ah, ever so warped perception of the school system we know as academia.

In stead, I'd like to do a recap on one of our slugs who moved on to bigger, better things.

Do any of you remember ...

Zach Staley???

Yes. Long ago, one of our catalytic slugs. The one who made us get up and do something - but he has long sinced moved onto his illustrious rap-star career. I recall when he first came up with the idea of being a rap star. It was when we were camping the last time he was out here, from the lonesome midwest. He thought it would be cool to come up with a "new hip hop dance" - one that would "really move ya body".

He grabbed a bat and wiggled his body, shaking his appendages like they were dead limbs.

" LOOK EVERYBODY, DO THE ZACHO! " he exclaimed.

the infamous "zacho dance"

It wasn't until later on, at the airport, when we were all saying our goodbyes to eachother that he donned his Proudly Served Veteran hat, saying "This looks like a trucker hat and those are the new thing in underground hip hop rap music, you uncultured fools!"

And he was right. We were uncultured fools. We didn't know nothing about no blackie swing music. Back in those days all negros were good for was picking cotton and stealing televisions, nobody ever thought they'd be a marketable resource to sell phat beats to. Nobody, with the exception of Zach.

zacho at the airport

I remember right as his plane was leaving, and mind you this is way before september eleventh when security was as tight as my little sister's cunt, when the airport security officers told him to take off his trucker hat as "it was unseemly" and "not fit for flying in" - I remember with great clarity him flipping off the officers and exlaiming " FUCK DA POLICE! KEEPIN DA BLACK MAN DOWN! "

zacho feels the black man's struggle

Yes, I remember the old Zach. The Zach who we all went road-skiing with. The Zach who we all thought was gay and told homosexual jokes about him when he wasn't around. The Zach who smelled funny even after taking a shower. The Zach who once fucked a girl in the butt, in a shower, and logged onto the internet immediately after just to regale us of his escapade. Yes, I remember the Zach of olden days past. But those days are long dead and gone.

Now all that remains... is the rap star everyone knows as "VETERAN WHITIE"

Veteran Whitie Reprezentin' Yo!

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