July 30, 2004

Return of the Jimmy

"Return of the Jimmy"

I agree, by the way. We should do paintball again. I haven't done it
in over two years, I think... so I'm gonna suck, but that's okay,
because it's not like any of you will be pros either. Well, except
for maybe Steve, but that's cause that's what Steve does. Damn you
Steve for having that be what you do.

That's okay though... we can all still shoot Michael.

And I know I'm going to take flak for this, but I say we bring jOe,
and we play Paintball with him again. C'mon... I mean that's what's
classic. That's the way it was before Jimmy got all "I wanna join the
Air Force for the really good food" and left for Alaska. ALASKA.

By the way, I hate ALASKA... almost as much as I hate CALIFORNIA...
maybe more in some ways. Fuckin' Alaska seems to steal everything
from me.

I will kill you ALASKA. Do you hear me... I will kill you dead.

You and your precious ELK and OIL RESERVES.

Why the hell did we add ALASKA to the United States? At least we had
a reason for CALIFORNIA. We wanted their beaches and their gold...
but then they gave us the STDS and Mexicans.

DAMN YOU CALIFORNIA! You gave us Crystal! I will never forgive you for that.

I suppose the two are mutually evil. They are probably part of that
Axis of Evil.

Now, I know that typically an Axis of anything should be in threes,
and according to Bush, the Axis of Evil is something like Iraq, Iran
and North Korea...

But then again, it is Bush's Axis of Evil... so he probably
miscalculated and thinks there are more. I wouldn't be surprised.

In fact, there's an idea... I will trick Bush into thinking that
California has seceeded the Union and become a part of Iraq. I will
trick him into believing that Arnold is really a member of al-Qaida.
I bet he doesn't realize that Arnold is really Austrian.

If Kerry were elected, I wonder what the jokes would be like.
Clinton's era had pretty good jokes... Bush's has obviously. I
wonder... should Kerry be elected... what would his jokes be?

His wife was apparently the wife of the Heinz Ketchup guy - from what
I hear. That could be an opening. You know, along the lines of:
"Hehe, Kerry married Ketchup..."

Okay... not so funny - but you know jOe would laugh at it.

... then he'd eat Kerry's wife.

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