Right, okay - If someone at the Collins house would get off the damn phone line or even pick up the phone after 15 rings I could figure this damn Tuesday-movie shit out! Maybe it would help if Jimmoi was online too...
I figured we would go watch "Shallow Hal" - Michael wanted to see that anywho, seems funny. So Jimmoi and I can pick up Michael and Bonnie at school - go waste some time until 4:35pm ( when the movie starts, still before 6 so its cheaper ) maybe we'll go buy the tickets and waste time at Shari's until then eh ? Its only 2hrs 10mins long so that's plenty of time to get Michael and Bonnie home so their folks don't go hostile.
er... yea...
November 12, 2001
November 11, 2001
ExitSymbol: as you wish, the woman shall be ignored
ExitSymbol: and why is she angry at me ?
( JOSIE ) : cause your poetry makes her crazy. . .
ExitSymbol: why ?
( JOSIE ) : especially in that form, where she thinks you're writing a paragraph but then it makes no sense.
ExitSymbol: heheehehehe
ExitSymbol: it makes perfect sense
( JOSIE ) : It's a gramatical atrocity.
ExitSymbol: grammar is for science
ExitSymbol: like a perfect picture taken with a camera says nothing of the person taking it.
ExitSymbol: etc
( JOSIE ) : So, what are you getting at?
( JOSIE ) : That it's okay to sound like you haven't the slightest grip on the english language?
ExitSymbol: not only is it okay, but imperative
ExitSymbol: and any way, I haven't
( JOSIE ) : . . .
( JOSIE ) : and it shows.
ExitSymbol: should it not ?
HAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
ExitSymbol: and why is she angry at me ?
( JOSIE ) : cause your poetry makes her crazy. . .
ExitSymbol: why ?
( JOSIE ) : especially in that form, where she thinks you're writing a paragraph but then it makes no sense.
ExitSymbol: heheehehehe
ExitSymbol: it makes perfect sense
( JOSIE ) : It's a gramatical atrocity.
ExitSymbol: grammar is for science
ExitSymbol: like a perfect picture taken with a camera says nothing of the person taking it.
ExitSymbol: etc
( JOSIE ) : So, what are you getting at?
( JOSIE ) : That it's okay to sound like you haven't the slightest grip on the english language?
ExitSymbol: not only is it okay, but imperative
ExitSymbol: and any way, I haven't
( JOSIE ) : . . .
( JOSIE ) : and it shows.
ExitSymbol: should it not ?
HAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
What is this, destiny ?
I became a writer ...
How does the fade become me
nebula of flowing words
translucent massive thoughts,
pass with pain,
in the bowles of my mind.
Diffusion into nothing
fuse me chaos utterly
without became within
And I see the world in randome
patterns of illusions.
And now I see within,
the same damnd randome patterns
matters of confusion.
what, is this destiny ?
pouring out of musings
plainly writhing movements.
Movements of my pen on paper
when in the massive flows
of all the other movements
drifting with the currents
I am lost in them.
What is this destiny ?
Where will all this take me ?
and when did I let go
of the world that once defined me
to seek my own salvation
define myself as human
and let myself become me.
Becoming my humanity.
what is this, destiny ?
I became a writer ...
How does the fade become me
nebula of flowing words
translucent massive thoughts,
pass with pain,
in the bowles of my mind.
Diffusion into nothing
fuse me chaos utterly
without became within
And I see the world in randome
patterns of illusions.
And now I see within,
the same damnd randome patterns
matters of confusion.
what, is this destiny ?
pouring out of musings
plainly writhing movements.
Movements of my pen on paper
when in the massive flows
of all the other movements
drifting with the currents
I am lost in them.
What is this destiny ?
Where will all this take me ?
and when did I let go
of the world that once defined me
to seek my own salvation
define myself as human
and let myself become me.
Becoming my humanity.
what is this, destiny ?
i am finally coherent again.... i don't think that that is necessarilly a good thing. that and i am still forgeting english! argh... LOL.... bring on the fun. i have been happily off in lala land for the past 3 or so days. it's been interesting to say the least. i havent' thought of home at all... i even forgot to check up on you guys. hahaha hey, where the fuck did i put the coffee!!!`??????? wargh....... hehe... oh fuck it, i have a while nice black kettle downstairs. who would have thought that i would ever really voluntarilly drink coffee to this degree. i do not want to go back to sleep.... i do not want to drift back into lala land yet again. it was a horrible wonderful nightmare.
no more of those for me... nope nope nope nope nope.....................
around and around and around we go....
where we stop, no body knows...
around and around and around we go...... off to see the ca-ching
for the next 31 days i will travel all over the place, fun fun.... it will only caost me 20 dollars too. haha :P
last night i went to a concert..... it was wonderful............... i ad so much fun listening to them play and the musuc seemed to flow across my mind in a downpoor like the monsoon in the jungle. they played well, and he is renouned at being the best swedish artist for his kind of singing. he made if fun and sad.... i'm glad that i decided to go along. i was the only person there who wast likely under the age of 40, but that didn't matter. they needed to sell about 500 tickets to break even with the Economy place, but there could have been more than 100 or so people there. i found that out from my mamma. it's odd really... there was a mere local choir thingy last weekend, and they were all sold out. i can't wait to go to the next one which is likely on the 22 of this month.
oh look at the time! and pappa is calling me down for dinner.... nummy num num.
hej då, god natt! :P
no more of those for me... nope nope nope nope nope.....................
around and around and around we go....
where we stop, no body knows...
around and around and around we go...... off to see the ca-ching
for the next 31 days i will travel all over the place, fun fun.... it will only caost me 20 dollars too. haha :P
last night i went to a concert..... it was wonderful............... i ad so much fun listening to them play and the musuc seemed to flow across my mind in a downpoor like the monsoon in the jungle. they played well, and he is renouned at being the best swedish artist for his kind of singing. he made if fun and sad.... i'm glad that i decided to go along. i was the only person there who wast likely under the age of 40, but that didn't matter. they needed to sell about 500 tickets to break even with the Economy place, but there could have been more than 100 or so people there. i found that out from my mamma. it's odd really... there was a mere local choir thingy last weekend, and they were all sold out. i can't wait to go to the next one which is likely on the 22 of this month.
oh look at the time! and pappa is calling me down for dinner.... nummy num num.
hej då, god natt! :P
Who's your daddy!?
Three something in the morning, got home from work - once again I feel... dirty. Goo from drinks on my hands, nasty smoke stench in my hair and clothes, I just feel plain dirty - and fat ( right Bonnie? ).
Sunday - Sleep - Laundry - Cook - Sleep - Sit on my ass - Sleep... more sleep
Monday - pick up paycheck - Buy "Pillars of Creation" and "Sea of Swords" in South Hill Mall. ( Books )
Tuesday - What the hell are we doing Tuesday ? Mooovie ?
Wednesday - Don't plan that far
Thursday - See Wednesday ?
Friday - blurg - work.
Having everything written down like that - the week seems really short.
Im starving, probably shouldn't eat anything this late though...
Jimmoi - who else ya wanna drag along fer mooovies ? Michelle, er Michael is too young fer us =p
November 10, 2001
Last Night
I fade into the chaos that surrounds me
the inexplicable directions of fee energy
A mass of moving minds
exploring possibility
the living of the lives
some madness of reality
Seething tides of voices
mingle into fusion
murmurs the confusion
of a mass of moving minds
I fade into the crowd
blending in direction
being possibility
the living of my life
drifting in reality
seething tide of voices
overwhelm my words
lost into the fusion
I remain unheard
I murmur at a mass of moving minds
as I fade into the chaos that surrounds me
I fade into the chaos that surrounds me
the inexplicable directions of fee energy
A mass of moving minds
exploring possibility
the living of the lives
some madness of reality
Seething tides of voices
mingle into fusion
murmurs the confusion
of a mass of moving minds
I fade into the crowd
blending in direction
being possibility
the living of my life
drifting in reality
seething tide of voices
overwhelm my words
lost into the fusion
I remain unheard
I murmur at a mass of moving minds
as I fade into the chaos that surrounds me
Well, I changed my name....but it sucked so I changed it back....We'll just stick with -Bradbury- for now.
So-what to do with the site?
Good question. I like the blog, but when no one posts, it loses it's thrill.
And, we should be able to come up with better. After all, it's us.
So......to go with what James suggested (do stuff, take pictures, post said pictures) we need to:
A) Continue Jimmi day. Maybe not necessarily in keeping with the current Jimmi day standards, but still Jimmi day.
B) Find more shit to smash.
Maybe drop the current name. Or not. It really doesn't matter....but a big part should still be sitting around in Shari's and drinking coffee for hours. That's core.
Just some ramblings.
So-what to do with the site?
Good question. I like the blog, but when no one posts, it loses it's thrill.
And, we should be able to come up with better. After all, it's us.
So......to go with what James suggested (do stuff, take pictures, post said pictures) we need to:
A) Continue Jimmi day. Maybe not necessarily in keeping with the current Jimmi day standards, but still Jimmi day.
B) Find more shit to smash.
Maybe drop the current name. Or not. It really doesn't matter....but a big part should still be sitting around in Shari's and drinking coffee for hours. That's core.
Just some ramblings.
hmmm
my brain is working over-time now.
thinking of things to 'do with the board'
and one of them is just specifically " we do things, take pictures, and post them " - ahh... that will be different. in any event.
if I dont have to do anything tonight ( be it that I dont have that rendevous with Rachael ) - then I might run down to the scene and grab those two speakers which I hadnt seen before. they're huge. and I want'tem.
does anyone have any suggestions to do with the site?
The idea I had sort of tapered off because of work, and lack of interest.
but I'm sure we'll get something going.
any ideas, or helpfull thoughts, though?
my brain is working over-time now.
thinking of things to 'do with the board'
and one of them is just specifically " we do things, take pictures, and post them " - ahh... that will be different. in any event.
if I dont have to do anything tonight ( be it that I dont have that rendevous with Rachael ) - then I might run down to the scene and grab those two speakers which I hadnt seen before. they're huge. and I want'tem.
does anyone have any suggestions to do with the site?
The idea I had sort of tapered off because of work, and lack of interest.
but I'm sure we'll get something going.
any ideas, or helpfull thoughts, though?
Well ignor the last post....
Mayhem
Funzo.
A good time was had by all. Or at least most.
But the food from Shari's didn't sit well. Or maybe it sat too well.....
Anyway, if the link doesn't work let me know ASAP. It may take some time to load, however, the files are rather large.
Funzo.
A good time was had by all. Or at least most.
But the food from Shari's didn't sit well. Or maybe it sat too well.....
Anyway, if the link doesn't work let me know ASAP. It may take some time to load, however, the files are rather large.
November 09, 2001
I have no way to get to sherie's tonight. Can anyone come by and hook up a ride ?..
The manic cycle
dealing with it
looking for salvation from it
can't I just escape it ?
Maybe love will save me
think I'm going crazy.
often with fear I tremble
longing in the tears resemble
without knowing why resemble
unknown things to learn from.
Where to deal with and cope
why can't I escape it ?
Self destruction linger
falling inside fallen leaves
and coming up too fast
in falling up or down
when did I lose my grasp ?
Why can't I escape it ?
Looking for salvation from it
maybe love will save me
falling inside fallen leaves
I deal with it.
The manic cycle
The manic cycle
dealing with it
looking for salvation from it
can't I just escape it ?
Maybe love will save me
think I'm going crazy.
often with fear I tremble
longing in the tears resemble
without knowing why resemble
unknown things to learn from.
Where to deal with and cope
why can't I escape it ?
Self destruction linger
falling inside fallen leaves
and coming up too fast
in falling up or down
when did I lose my grasp ?
Why can't I escape it ?
Looking for salvation from it
maybe love will save me
falling inside fallen leaves
I deal with it.
The manic cycle
November 08, 2001
ZEN TRANQUILITY and the art of work a day life.................
As I have been practicing Zen Tranquility exercises daily, I have come to the point where "I LOVE MY JOB" ... each day at work becomes a 4-8 hour lesson in the meaning of Zen. I arrive home feeling happy, content, relaxed, creative, energetic, free and enlightened. ... here is an example "At work today.." .. I love this :::::::
During the {BETHEL HIGHSCHOOL LUNCH PERIOD RUSH }(a typical part of a day at burger king) I was responsible for making all the chicken+fish+taco+ {insert non hamburger here}.. during this time of day these orders pile one upon another very quickly. At first I began to feel overwhelmed by the pace and the illusion that I was under some kind of pressure to perform. I noticed myself drifting into the mode of burgerking employee and immediatly I began a zen exercise. I stopped what I was doing, closed my eyes, and took three deep breaths focusing on how fun and challenging this simple and unimportant activity was. I opened my eyes and began to work as fast and carefully as possible, all the while maintaining my focus on the enjoyment I was feeling. I entered what one calls a "trance" of activity and was so involved in my activity that I didn't think of anything else until two hours later when the rush was over and I looked at the clock only to be amazed that what had seemed like no time, was in fact half of my shift... I then, having nothing much else to do, went into the primary relaxation fase. I again forced my mind into alpha state "between sleep and awake {trance state}.." and began to focus on cleaning and setting things into a desired order. Not losing sight of how relaxing and enjoyable it was to clean and order everything around me placing it into a state which matched that of my mind, clear focused and calm... before I knew it work was over and I left feeling relaxed and rested, happy to have been there and looking forward to going back. These simple zen exercises are so benificial that I often find myself feeling better after work than at any other part of the day.
I LOVE ZEN >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
As I have been practicing Zen Tranquility exercises daily, I have come to the point where "I LOVE MY JOB" ... each day at work becomes a 4-8 hour lesson in the meaning of Zen. I arrive home feeling happy, content, relaxed, creative, energetic, free and enlightened. ... here is an example "At work today.." .. I love this :::::::
During the {BETHEL HIGHSCHOOL LUNCH PERIOD RUSH }(a typical part of a day at burger king) I was responsible for making all the chicken+fish+taco+ {insert non hamburger here}.. during this time of day these orders pile one upon another very quickly. At first I began to feel overwhelmed by the pace and the illusion that I was under some kind of pressure to perform. I noticed myself drifting into the mode of burgerking employee and immediatly I began a zen exercise. I stopped what I was doing, closed my eyes, and took three deep breaths focusing on how fun and challenging this simple and unimportant activity was. I opened my eyes and began to work as fast and carefully as possible, all the while maintaining my focus on the enjoyment I was feeling. I entered what one calls a "trance" of activity and was so involved in my activity that I didn't think of anything else until two hours later when the rush was over and I looked at the clock only to be amazed that what had seemed like no time, was in fact half of my shift... I then, having nothing much else to do, went into the primary relaxation fase. I again forced my mind into alpha state "between sleep and awake {trance state}.." and began to focus on cleaning and setting things into a desired order. Not losing sight of how relaxing and enjoyable it was to clean and order everything around me placing it into a state which matched that of my mind, clear focused and calm... before I knew it work was over and I left feeling relaxed and rested, happy to have been there and looking forward to going back. These simple zen exercises are so benificial that I often find myself feeling better after work than at any other part of the day.
I LOVE ZEN >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
My friend Daniel from Poland recently {some time in the last five years} moved to seattle. He has dual citizinship because his father is an American and his mother is Polish. Poland has a rich history and is one of the more peculiar nations in europe. It is somewhat near the center of what was once the Roman empire, and hence {having a slovic language which is simply a language of greek ancestry, and a Roman Catholic {latin speeking} religouse background} a very rich culture. I was able to hit it off well with Daniel right from the start because I once dated a Bulgarian woman {also a slovic country, although far more eastern {greek} than poland} and have had a few Hungarian friends {Hungary is also a slovic nation} so I am familiar with a great deal of his culture {cheese,whine, crackers, tomatoes,...etc } he is one of the first people in years I have been able to express my general discomfort about American culture to, he knew exactly what I meant, and like me, detests the french liberalism of the western european nations. Daniel owns a business here in America, a very profitable one at that, he charges people to have a detailed cleaning done to their car. He in essence provides what one calls a service. For the price of $150 one can have their car cleaned and sparkling just like new. Daniel is very successful for being 20 {this is not uncommon for foreign peoples in America, esp peoples from slovic nations where the education systems are something to really be proud of {free college for all citizens, etc...}...}
One day Daniel and I were making the trip from portland to seattle, and on the way, having a discussion about capitolism and the great fortune it provides for many of the people here in America. You see, Daniel does not do any of the cleaning, but rather, he has employees who do it for him. They make about $7/hr and it takes them approximately one hour to detail a single car, thus, Daniel makes about $143/hr from each employee he has. I explained to Daniel that in selling a service he is really only contracting the labor of his employees, he is not producing and selling a commodity, but rather, selling a few man-hours of labor. Thus, taking this prospective, it is easy to see why Daniel is getting rich so quickly, and why his employees are getting forked in the buttox, Daniel is contracting their labor at about $150/hr, and they are only recieving $7/hr. This is perfectly legal, and very common here in the states. I told Daniel that he was ethically lacking, that he was exploiting other people for his own benifite, and that he might want to consider who is doing the real work, and who is taking the spoils.... Daniel's employees are what I call wage slaves, a minimal amount of {abstract labor} is exchanged for a real amount of labor at a rate which is entirely, categorically, fucked up !!!... Most likely, you are a wage slave, or will be a wage slave, in a country where one only has the rights and freedomes that one can afford, this could be "ought to be" considered a form of repression.. your boss is going on trips to europe every summer while you are doing all the work that pays his bills {and buys his new cars and caviar}..This is a form of slavery because you haven't got any real choice, nothing is free, most likely they never will be "until energy becomes free", thus you must work, you must get forked in the ars because you must eat... this is your position in life, this is the reality of your situation... you are nothing but a motion, a deed, a series of actions + thoughts that another person " a capitolist" can exploit legally... welcome to the country our fathers built ... maybe our fathers were wrong ???.. just because you learn in school that you must do things they way they do, act they way they want you to, want they things they want, doesn't mean that you really do ... you don't have to be a willing slave !
One day Daniel and I were making the trip from portland to seattle, and on the way, having a discussion about capitolism and the great fortune it provides for many of the people here in America. You see, Daniel does not do any of the cleaning, but rather, he has employees who do it for him. They make about $7/hr and it takes them approximately one hour to detail a single car, thus, Daniel makes about $143/hr from each employee he has. I explained to Daniel that in selling a service he is really only contracting the labor of his employees, he is not producing and selling a commodity, but rather, selling a few man-hours of labor. Thus, taking this prospective, it is easy to see why Daniel is getting rich so quickly, and why his employees are getting forked in the buttox, Daniel is contracting their labor at about $150/hr, and they are only recieving $7/hr. This is perfectly legal, and very common here in the states. I told Daniel that he was ethically lacking, that he was exploiting other people for his own benifite, and that he might want to consider who is doing the real work, and who is taking the spoils.... Daniel's employees are what I call wage slaves, a minimal amount of {abstract labor} is exchanged for a real amount of labor at a rate which is entirely, categorically, fucked up !!!... Most likely, you are a wage slave, or will be a wage slave, in a country where one only has the rights and freedomes that one can afford, this could be "ought to be" considered a form of repression.. your boss is going on trips to europe every summer while you are doing all the work that pays his bills {and buys his new cars and caviar}..This is a form of slavery because you haven't got any real choice, nothing is free, most likely they never will be "until energy becomes free", thus you must work, you must get forked in the ars because you must eat... this is your position in life, this is the reality of your situation... you are nothing but a motion, a deed, a series of actions + thoughts that another person " a capitolist" can exploit legally... welcome to the country our fathers built ... maybe our fathers were wrong ???.. just because you learn in school that you must do things they way they do, act they way they want you to, want they things they want, doesn't mean that you really do ... you don't have to be a willing slave !
do you love me?
of course
then it's ok, besides, you said you were tired.
it begins with that.
and then /
how is she, is she ok?
i dont know, really
the second.
and then work came.
so your throat still hurt from giving kevin too many blow jobs eh?
ha ha ha
you know - there are videos that you cant rent for that
yeah, then I'd have to borrow them from you
hey - I have a viedeo camerah and would gladly take video for you, if that is what you would like
. . .
. . .
I'm just not even going to touch that.
ha ha, yeah whatever you say Dennis.
hey! whot can I saey, I am a man of art!
( bell )
and then there was after work :
Rumour going around that they'll be laying off five people a week
Hmm.
So first (points at me) you can say good bye to your job, then I can say bye to my job, and then maybe even Cassidy will be out of here
Great.
and then home :
What did you jump about when you came in?
huh?
When you came into your room, you jumped - what was it?
oh ... that...
-------------------------------------
I dont know.
Throughout the day I imagined it as just a bunch of conversations. I couldnt see the "in-between" of the conversations, just the conversations themselves. It was really odd. Very odd actually. As if there was no reality beyond that which occured with those around me. And in any event - I might not have to work tomorrow ( be that friday ) because of the whole " slow " ness of work. And then there is the concept that I might have a ... couple ... months off. Then again - I can go to unemployment ( as Jimmoi actually should ) - and they'll PAY ME TO SIT ON MY ASS. They'd pay 60% of my wages. I make 10.22 an hour. ... someone do the god-damned math - we'll say 6$ because I'm guessing 60% of 10 is 6. THAT IS A GUESS. Where is mike and his god-damned math when you need him? Like the bloody police, they'll always be there when you dont need them, and never there when you do.
I had something important to post and I cant exactly remember what it was - in fact, the only reason I am posting is because I hope that through the duration of this typing episode that I suddenly ( BLAMMO! ) remember what it was that I wanted to post - and through the course of my train of thought - post such.
It doesnt seem like that's happening.
I'm slow
eh?
I said I'm slow.
what do you mean?
The answer to your question - is three years, thats what I mean by that I am slow - it took me two years to kiss her
You're shitting me.
No, I am serious, to me - a year is to you ... what... a month? week? day ... fuck, how about a couple of hours?
...
heh.
so tell me you tapped that shit.
what?
...
people at work are terribly funny.
it seems as if through this episode I still have not gotten the *THING* inside of me that I feel an abstract need to get out of me, out. Terrible. Absolutely. And so I will have to lay me down a hundred years and go to sleep without actually fullfilling the reason why I began to post in the first place. Go bloody figure.
Oh.
Me and Jimmoi constantly thought about re-doing, or making a film, about Dune, being that the old version is about as good as having all of your limbs removed, and then sewn together as one limb - then reattatched on yourforehead. It would be an odd sight to see- and rather pointless, WHICH IS WHAT THE FUCKING MOVIE IS. The new one, although has much better ... things than the old one - focuses too much on " the blue eyes " - and I dont like their depiction of the Guild members. In any event - what I have to say, briefly, which still isnt what I had to say in the first place, is that I found something ... to do.
The Stranger, by Albert Camus.
To my knowledge, there has been no film made on the book. And if there has ( which, there probably more than likely has ) it was so shitty that nobody knows of it or anything. I want to make a rendition of the book. And I know exactly how to do it.
Fun.
Goodnight(morning) kiddos.
of course
then it's ok, besides, you said you were tired.
it begins with that.
and then /
how is she, is she ok?
i dont know, really
the second.
and then work came.
so your throat still hurt from giving kevin too many blow jobs eh?
ha ha ha
you know - there are videos that you cant rent for that
yeah, then I'd have to borrow them from you
hey - I have a viedeo camerah and would gladly take video for you, if that is what you would like
. . .
. . .
I'm just not even going to touch that.
ha ha, yeah whatever you say Dennis.
hey! whot can I saey, I am a man of art!
( bell )
and then there was after work :
Rumour going around that they'll be laying off five people a week
Hmm.
So first (points at me) you can say good bye to your job, then I can say bye to my job, and then maybe even Cassidy will be out of here
Great.
and then home :
What did you jump about when you came in?
huh?
When you came into your room, you jumped - what was it?
oh ... that...
-------------------------------------
I dont know.
Throughout the day I imagined it as just a bunch of conversations. I couldnt see the "in-between" of the conversations, just the conversations themselves. It was really odd. Very odd actually. As if there was no reality beyond that which occured with those around me. And in any event - I might not have to work tomorrow ( be that friday ) because of the whole " slow " ness of work. And then there is the concept that I might have a ... couple ... months off. Then again - I can go to unemployment ( as Jimmoi actually should ) - and they'll PAY ME TO SIT ON MY ASS. They'd pay 60% of my wages. I make 10.22 an hour. ... someone do the god-damned math - we'll say 6$ because I'm guessing 60% of 10 is 6. THAT IS A GUESS. Where is mike and his god-damned math when you need him? Like the bloody police, they'll always be there when you dont need them, and never there when you do.
I had something important to post and I cant exactly remember what it was - in fact, the only reason I am posting is because I hope that through the duration of this typing episode that I suddenly ( BLAMMO! ) remember what it was that I wanted to post - and through the course of my train of thought - post such.
It doesnt seem like that's happening.
I'm slow
eh?
I said I'm slow.
what do you mean?
The answer to your question - is three years, thats what I mean by that I am slow - it took me two years to kiss her
You're shitting me.
No, I am serious, to me - a year is to you ... what... a month? week? day ... fuck, how about a couple of hours?
...
heh.
so tell me you tapped that shit.
what?
...
people at work are terribly funny.
it seems as if through this episode I still have not gotten the *THING* inside of me that I feel an abstract need to get out of me, out. Terrible. Absolutely. And so I will have to lay me down a hundred years and go to sleep without actually fullfilling the reason why I began to post in the first place. Go bloody figure.
Oh.
Me and Jimmoi constantly thought about re-doing, or making a film, about Dune, being that the old version is about as good as having all of your limbs removed, and then sewn together as one limb - then reattatched on yourforehead. It would be an odd sight to see- and rather pointless, WHICH IS WHAT THE FUCKING MOVIE IS. The new one, although has much better ... things than the old one - focuses too much on " the blue eyes " - and I dont like their depiction of the Guild members. In any event - what I have to say, briefly, which still isnt what I had to say in the first place, is that I found something ... to do.
The Stranger, by Albert Camus.
To my knowledge, there has been no film made on the book. And if there has ( which, there probably more than likely has ) it was so shitty that nobody knows of it or anything. I want to make a rendition of the book. And I know exactly how to do it.
Fun.
Goodnight(morning) kiddos.
November 07, 2001
I write a lot of things... what can I say, it isn't much like the stuff you guys post .....ehhh all of my work "as of late" has been about my loss of passion, my feeling alone, and the self destruction found in numbing my pain away with drugs. About the ambiguity of life, in confusion about life itself. About the philosophy of empathy and mitigation.. I write about serious matters of my life, about my deepest inner conflicts, about being a human being... but what can hold a stick to ALF ??
I wrote a couple last night ... here
Idle day
Idle time
there without much thinking
not with much to tell
an idle day
an idle time
this time without much worry
not with having much to care.
A simple time of dreaming
much time does not compair
my idle day and time
my having humble joy
my wonder and my worry
a simple pleasure dreaming there
time
Help me corrode me in me.
Help me treat me badly.
See me sadly in me.
Corrosion
in illusion
in delusion
in confusion
Help me erode me in me.
Tears of my addictions.
As I am consumed by my illusions.......
Fearing sweet apathy
to follow on the road
that followed ends abruptly
passing my indefinite reality
sways on hairlike hinges
at the fringes of an unknown road
that followed ends abruptly....
In the motions of distortion
mind lingers on the fingertips
of breaking all the sanity...
As I am consumed by my illusions
As I drift on fearing apathy
fading simply slowly
into the dismal unreality
of empty nonexistence
presence dwindle slowly
into the inexperienced
falling down the hole
conscience twisting difference
and the rabbit in the hole
fusion in the sadness
chaos gives forward to impression
dwindle in the madness
self control recession
As I mitigate confusion
I lose myself to this illusion.
I wrote a couple last night ... here
Idle day
Idle time
there without much thinking
not with much to tell
an idle day
an idle time
this time without much worry
not with having much to care.
A simple time of dreaming
much time does not compair
my idle day and time
my having humble joy
my wonder and my worry
a simple pleasure dreaming there
time
Help me corrode me in me.
Help me treat me badly.
See me sadly in me.
Corrosion
in illusion
in delusion
in confusion
Help me erode me in me.
Tears of my addictions.
As I am consumed by my illusions.......
Fearing sweet apathy
to follow on the road
that followed ends abruptly
passing my indefinite reality
sways on hairlike hinges
at the fringes of an unknown road
that followed ends abruptly....
In the motions of distortion
mind lingers on the fingertips
of breaking all the sanity...
As I am consumed by my illusions
As I drift on fearing apathy
fading simply slowly
into the dismal unreality
of empty nonexistence
presence dwindle slowly
into the inexperienced
falling down the hole
conscience twisting difference
and the rabbit in the hole
fusion in the sadness
chaos gives forward to impression
dwindle in the madness
self control recession
As I mitigate confusion
I lose myself to this illusion.
November 06, 2001
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