This Message Has Been Approved By... Me... For the Office of EVERYTHING.
Lately, as many of you have noticed, there have been a slew of people
running for office all over the country... from President of the
United States, to Commissioner on Toiletries.
It must be confusing for you all, and I understand that.
My name is Jeff Paulino...
and to simplify things, for you the voter, I am simply running for EVERYTHING.
Yes, that's right. You no longer have to wonder who is running for
what. No more questioning who are the contenders for the Governor of
Washington, The Mayor of Seattle, the Public Lands Commissioner, the
Vice President of the United States... so on and so forth.
My platform is simple and my promises so easy to understand that a
five year old will point and laugh at you if you don't understand
I promise to fix EVERYTHING.
How you ask?
Simple: By fixing EVERYTHING.
Get it? Or do I have to send over a five year old?
You see, unlike the many contenders for the various public offices
throughout the nation, I am offering you, the people... MY PEOPLE...
straightforward and simple answers.
I will not raise taxes, but I will increase spending for education.
How you ask?
Simple: I will not raise taxes.
And I will increase spending for education.
Aren't you tired of these politicians saying they will do something
but without providing you with a plan of action?
Will fret no longer. Here is my plan for you, my America... A plan of
I will simply fix EVERYTHING.
So come November 2nd, don't vote for those other guys in all those
other races. Simply Vote Jeff... for the Office of Everything!
You'll also cut back on that pesky Carpal Tunnel, as you'll only have
to vote once, a vote that will encompass all the other choices.
Vote today. Vote Me. Vote the Future of EVERYTHING.