- The Age-Old Dilemma -

It seems I have this friend. This female, attractive friend.

[You can guess where this is going already, can't you?]

So we're friends. She used to go out with a guy who used to be a buddy of mine. An integral part of The Group (JP and I).

[Yep, this is going to be one of those stories.]

I say used to go out with because they no longer are an item. Those broke up because he was acting like an idiot. All the time. He was getting pretty good at it

[Keep reading, or stop now and call him a fool. Your choice.]

The Group decided we liked this person better. Replaced the aforementioned idiotic member with her.

[This is where the part that probably originally came out of Shakespeare starts.]

Now it seems I have grown quite fond of this new friend. She's a good friend. We enjoy doing platonic male-female friend type things. She's not all that much of a redneck. I'm growing out of that rural-American shell recently.

[Hold on, here comes the plot twist none of you saw coming...]

Yeah. So I like her, she likes me. We're friends. But, as all of the males out there have already guessed, I'd rather be more than friends. It just goes with the "Y" chromosome. Nothing I can do about it.
To quote Rodney Carrington: "I'm a man. I have a dick. Pussy is my friend!"
Maybe that was more graphic than I really needed to be, but you all get the point.

[That's right, he's a hound dog at heart. Duh.]

The actual dilemma: Do I ...express... this ...thought/feeling/horniness/whatever..., and risk destroying the friendship? Or just let the (most likely one-sided) tension build?

[There really is no way to avoid the lasting awkwardness that follows: "Wanna screw?" "No."]

Well, I'd be more tactful than that. Maybe only slightly, but not that bad.

[Sure you would]

Besides, there's no saying I'm her type. Or that it would last. For that matter, she'd probably just laugh.

[It's all in the delivery, dumbshit.]

It's all in the delivery. I'll think carefully about what to say. Go over it in my head a few times.

[Oh, man, are you gonna screw this up]

Fuck it. It's all about finding the right time.

[I can't wait for this. Even John Paul will laugh at you after that.]

Well, off to pick her up now. The story of what led up to tonight should be good to tell you later.

[Yeah, they'll love it.]