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POST EDITED

Ok here is the deal - after a good pal of mine that I've known online for about a year or two heard that I got jenked over by my hosting and that the slugs were going to hell in a hand basket he said he would have none of it. He said "hay you want some free hosting?" and I said sure - so here we are. Now you've got two choices - one, you can just IM him on AIM (SN: LecherousJester) and you tell that motherfucker thanks for the free hosting - or you can fireup your paypal account and paypal him a good 5 or 3,000 dollars for good measure (paypal:paypal@genericwebhost.com) - he really says it isn't necissary but hey, good for the goose is good for the gander you know? Look forward to brand-spankin new possibilities and if you ever need space to host a website of your own, or know someone who needs hosting - send them the way of http://www.genericwebhost.com/ - and I will be doing the same. We've become walking advertisements for his hosting service. mwa haha.
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Dark City?

What the shit is people's preoccupation with this shitty movie?
Jesus H. Christ - sure I have to give you the first half of the film is not entirely bad,
but the ending with people flying around? I scoffed at it then and I will scoff at it now.

That I will forgive you for, but what absolutely cannot be forgiven is " The Crow "
Having recently seen this cuntfest of a movie I have to tell you that there was a reason I avoided seeing it.
The reason being that all graphic novel to movie films suck ass.
Remember THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN? - yeah I figured you would.
The Crow has to be the biggest " OMG BRANDON LEE SO HOT OMG " shitfest of a film I've ever seen.
EVERYTHING THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS TO SAY IS PROFOUND AND CONTRIVED WIT

And I dont know about you, but I can only see shitty "look he runs, omg he fell off a building" and "look the crow flies through fake-city!" special effects for so long. Classic films can withold the test of time - which means that their OUT OF DATE special effects don't feel like you're gnashing sand paper against your eyeballs. BLADERUNNER's special effects didn't make me want to gouge out my eyes, and it has stood the test of time - you want to know why fucking THE CROW is so heralded?

1. someone died - oh boo hoo
2. omg brandon lee so hot omg
3. shitty goth-fucks and their shitty lives thinking that " LOVE CONQUERS ALL" and that "EVERYONCE IN AWHILE THEY COME BACK TO MAKE RIGHT THE THINGS WRONG" - which absolutely pissed me off that Dr. Shitsville Crow-man has this "high moral ground" which he stands on and is able to take retribution out on the oh-so-terrible badguys who LAID A FINGER ON HIS GIRL, DAWG - and raped that cunt like she deserved. You don't live in slums, complain, and figure "oh no nothing bad will happen to me at all. " I was compelled more by the love scenes in fucking ROB ROY. Don't make me laugh. SHELLY!!!!!!! indeed.
4. the soundtrack. lets gather together a bunch of popular musicians to make a soundtrack for this shitty film. I remember that being one of the big 'catches' in its day - that all these cool and super musicians banded together to make the score. You know what - the soundtrack fucking blows. You're going to defend it, aren't you? " BUT NINE INCH NAILS WAS ON IT " - the song was such a minor piece of shit that I wouldn't even call it Reznor. It's only close-to-saving grace is there is a RATM song on it, and RATM will always rule.
5. but one song doesn't make up for the absolute total lack of character development whatsoever. They trick you with a side story about a girl and her drug-fucked mother of a whore. oh shit wait I almost forgot the CONSTANT REOCCURING HUMOR where Eric Draven ( BRANDON LEE OMG SO HOT OMG ) continually tells EVERYONE AROUND HIM that DRUGS ARE BAD and THEY WILL KILL YOU when in fact he ONE OF THE UNDEAD who is BACK TO KILL PEOPLE - DO YOU NOT GET THE FUCKING HUMOR? THAT IS COMEDY GOLD The D.A.R.E. U.N.D.E.A.D.
6. Wait dude, you cant say this movie sucks. LOOK AT THE MAIN CHARACTER HE IS A ROCK STAR MUSICIAN. Oh yes, dont forget it - and they wont let you. Spliced inbetween the "but mommy your a whore!" scenes of the young girl and the "hey duders im a black man and i am a police officer" you get ERIC DRAVEN ROCKING OUT on rooftops. Then right before the 'climatic ending' ( read shitty gun fight ) - he belts out these awesome electrical guitar riffs that made me want to puke. I forgot that when you're back from the dead to kill the men who murdered you and raped/murdered your wife that you have to channel your anguish through your trusty eletrical guitar on top of rooftops under the moon. yeah.
7. Brandon Lee cannot act his way through a wet paper sack in a hurricane, underwater. I haven't seen any of his other films, if there are any other films - but let me tell you that this motherfucker is as bad as an actor as someone like, oh, VERN FONK. That's right. Did I feel his anguish at all? No. I couldn't get past his smug " hey duders im brandon lee " demeanor. He is about as good at acting like he is anguished as fucking KEANU REEVES is as good at acting like he was angry in Much Ado About Nothing.
8. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE SHITTY " HAY LETS PAINT MY FACE LIKE THAT OF TRAGEDY " BULLSHIT? IT IS NOT INTIMIDATING AND DOES NOT STRIKE FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF MEN. IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING PANZY.

I cannot for the life of me stand that movie.
It reminds me of what would happen if, somehow, steven and andy were melded into one - and andy started writing goth poetry.
Thats how the dialogue goes throughout the whole film.
So do not give me that crap about how the crow is such a great film - because I think your bullshitting.


MISERY