[The "Fuck-You's" for 2004]

I forgot how fun it can be to piss people off and to have people pissed off with you...

So something fun for all the kiddies to read:

Jeff's Spectacular, Grandiose, and Awesome Fuck You List 2004 ed.

• Fuck you James Collins for having an alien in your throat that used to scare me in high school!


• Fuck you James Nicholas Miller for your thirteen planes in China and your going off to be with the Frozen Hotties of the Tundra!


• Fuck you Aaron Dono.... for not having a last name that I can remember, and for being called the Replacement Jeff after I left Bethel.


• Fuck you Michael Collins because you look like a younger James Collins.


• Fuck you Nicholas Bradbury for being taller than me and having the new iPod... and for having a computer that never breaks on you.


• Fuck you Bonnie Seaborn for having a name like Bonnie. Why couldn't it be La-quesha, thus giving me something funny to laugh at everytime I see your name in my cell phone.


• Fuck you Steven Pearson because I could not remember if its actually Pierson or Pearson or some other combination of alphabet letters. And because you gave us all nasty images of you and Andy in a foursome.


• Fuck you Andy Wegener for not reading the board and making this "Fuck You" nearly meaningless.


• Fuck you Chrissie Himes for being short but not asian, making the belief that I had in my mind that all short people are inherently asian not true.


• Fuck you Napster because I can't remember your real name right now, and because you still use an SN referring to an old file-swapping program that no longer exists in its true form, but instead some cooperate skin.


• Fuck you Heather Taylor for having a father who could kill me with his pinkie.


• Fuck you Zach because I cannot remember your last name but I could remember Brice's. And because you have the most toxic farts of anybody I have ever met.


• Fuck you Brice Wick because I can remember your last name and its Wick!


• Fuck you Joseph Macauley because you have never actually gotten mad enough to devour someone in front of me or Jimmy, giving us some new material for a comic book.


• Fuck you Bullrabbit because I actually don't know you but still was dragged to meet you once in Seattle.


• Fuck you Anthony because you were actually insane enough to agree to live with James Collins.

Well, that about wraps up this love-fest.

Back to the resumés.