You know your life has taken a drastic downturn when:

A) M. Collins has a better 18th than you did.
B) Jimmoi is surrounded by more hot tail than you are.
C) You start getting spam en español.

Wait - hold on.
A) I don't remember my 18th birthday. Judging by how things usually went on a non-birthday-night-out for me in high school, I'm guessing it was pretty wild.
B) They're the Hotties of the Frozen Tundra, and I am surrounded by MILFs and hot 24-year-old teachers.
C) Spam is less annoying when you can't understand what it is they're trying to sell you.

Hmm.....

Nope, still pretty bad.

Damn you Jimmoi, you Asian Republican, you. You need to bring some of those strippers with you when you come down here. If you come down here.

But I am looking forward to a lively political debate with you in a pub somewhere. Maybe we'll have Piss-Drunk James along again.

I must say, James hammered is really quite entertaining. And I mean that in a good way. Think about how much James notices and points out life's little idiosyncrasies sober. Now, take away higher reasoning and inhibitions. Good stuff.