for anyone paying attention, you can now access the board via loose-slugs.blogger.com

the template as it is right now is not edited, but soon will be.

So, do I get the dubious distinction of LAST POST?

Is it official?

Did someone finally put this poor old board out of its misery?

Looks like it.






Farewell, Slugs.

So I'm an asshole now, am I?

Oh, wait, that's nothing new....

Poor Poor Michael

Aww... Poor Michael

Michael... I accept you and all your cow-simulating self. If I
didn't, I would have had you executed long ago like Kevin.

You don't remember Kevin, because Kevin didn't get to stick around
long enough to meet you. I blame him, as he pissed me off, and I had
to... dispose of his annoyance.

You aren't to that level. So I am not forced to deal with you as I
dealt with Kevin.

Poor, poor Kevin.

Otherwise, I agree. We do need to do something. Something to shake
things up... unfortunately half of us do not drive, and the other half
do not want to drive...

and the other half have jobs that keep us from doing something.

So my weekends are free sometimes... we need to actually try...
planning something.

I know how we are all against the planning of things... but for the
sake of actually seeing each other, we may need to consider it.

Lastly, for the sake of keeping Michael from crying... I would never
actually translate what I say on the board about you to real life. Of
all the Collins, you are now the one with the most potential for...
well... something other than waking up in a pile of Post-It notes and
dog hair.
--
Jeff Paulino, BS
5215 15th Ave NE Apt. 19
Seattle, WA 98105
206.930.5344 (MAIN PHONE)
206.277.4761 (WORK TEL)

GOBBLE GOBBLE YOU FOOLS!

So, yeah, happy Thanksgiving you fools. i meant to write that yesterday but I was too hopped up on Tryptofan... it was like a crazy '70's nightmare...

Trolls kept coming up to me saying, "hey, have you seen michael... he is our furry lord"...

I just kicked them several times... it was good fun. It reminded me of the time i stole a sandwich from a hobo after fighting him in a street version of mortal kombat.

>.... if this post is weird... blame the TRYPTOFAN!

TRYPTOFUN TRYPTOAWESOMENESS!

You know, James has many abilities that are, well, comic.

And then there are those humorous drawings he does.

The Walleroo!

Okay... years and years ago... I went on a tirade about how Kangaroos
and Wallabies are evil and that they would be used one day in the
ultimate conquest of the human race.

And of course you fuckers didn't believe me. You all never do. It's
always more of the: Oh what crazy thing is Jeff talking about now..."

First, to that I'd just like to say: I hate you all. Especially
you Michael, you FURRY-FREAK!"

Secondly..., and far more importantly:

I WAS RIGHT!

Don't believe me? Big surprise...

But now I have proof. Proof that I was right, which turns out to
usually be true 95.67% of the time.

Wallaroo, goat escape from Vanilla Ice's house in Port St. Lucie

Associated Press

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. - New hit songs may not be coming for Vanilla
Ice, but the rapper's animal troubles are.

The singer who had a 90s hit with "Ice Ice Baby" called animal control
officials Wednesday to report that a wallaroo and goat found wandering
around Port St. Lucie over the weekend had escaped from his backyard,
city officials said.

The rapper, whose real name is Robert Van Winkle, may have problems
getting his pets back. The wallaroo, a cross between a wallaby and a
kangaroo, is considered an exotic animal and is not allowed in Port
St. Lucie. Farm animals such as the goat also are banned.

The animals were picked up Saturday by Port St. Lucie Animal Control
after a woman reported them, saying the 60-pound wallaroo had
scratched her and kicked her car.

Van Winkle was not at his Port St. Lucie home Wednesday. A schedule on
his Web site said he was in California taping a motorcycle commercial.

In January, Bucky the wallaroo accidentally scratched his face. That
forced him to cancel photo shoots and interviews for his appearance on
VH1's "Surreal Life" reality show, which featured celebrities whose
fame had faded.

Van Winkle, 36, bought the wallaroo from a Florida breeder after his
Arctic Canadian lynx died three years ago, he has said in interviews.
Van Winkle was cited twice in 1998 for keeping the lynx in his
backyard.

Now don't go telling me that Vanilla Ice is not evil in some way...
and now he keeps, as a pet, the combined evil of a kangaroo and a
wallaby!

And he has a goat!

We should all know from "Amityville Horror" that goats are evil.
Goats are those things that get sacrificed in the Bible.

Now, if and yours were sacrificed in the Bible over and over again,
don't you think that you'd be a little pissed and turn into an evil
animal? And Wallabies and Kangaroos are the same. I mean, c'mon,
Australians don't have goats over there (or they were imported) (or
they probably do but... I don't care), so instead they sacrificed
Wallabies and Kangaroos... pissing them off, and making them hate
humanity.

Couple all that animal hatred with Vanilla Ice, who has every reason
to hate people for shunning him after the fiasco that he calls his
music career, and you have one man more dangerous than all the
terrorist groups out there.

Something to think about.

With regards to this board... the board is dying not necessarily
because everyone is lazy (that's my single reason and not your alls)
but because 1. the novelty has worn off, and 2. james hasn't done
anything in a long time worth reporting about and making fun of.

It's been years... so if you want to increase traffic to the board,
you have to start doing stuff outside of the board. Camping, movies,
lighting James' hair on fire...

I personally like the board. Always have, even though I don't have
time to post sometimes. I've been learning some stuff on the side
which should actually make my posts more ... unique.

If you all are going to do something to the board... at least leave
the board for me. I like it. I will continue to check it even when
all of you are dead.

(Which will be in 13 months, six days, and eleven minutes - commuter
bus accident)

--
Jeff Paulino, BS
5215 15th Ave NE Apt. 19
Seattle, WA 98105
206.930.5344 (MAIN PHONE)
206.277.4761 (WORK TEL)

I WENT BACK TO OHIO
BUT MY CITY WAS GONE
THERE WAS NO TRAIN STATION
THERE WAS NO DOWNTOWN
SOUTH HOWARD HAD DISAPPEARED
ALL MY FAVORITE PLACES
MY CITY HAD BEEN PULLED DOWN
REDUCED TO PARKING SPACES
A, O, WAY TO GO OHIO


WELL I WENT BACK TO OHIO
BUT MY FAMILY WAS GONE
I STOOD ON THE BACK PORCH
THERE WAS NOBODY HOME
I WAS STUNNED AND AMAZED
MY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES
SLOWLY SWIRLED PAST
LIKE THE WIND THROUGH THE TREES
A, O, OH WAY TO GO OHIO


I WENT BACK TO OHIO
BUT MY PRETTY COUNTRYSIDE
HAD BEEN PAVED DOWN THE MIDDLE
BY A GOVERNMENT THAT HAD NO PRIDE
THE FARMS OF OHIO
HAD BEEN REPLACED BY SHOPPING MALLS
AND MUZAK FILLED THE AIR
FROM SENECA TO CUYAHOGA FALLS
SAID, A, O, OH WAY TO GO OHIO

Another week gone by, no posts. What the hell is going on with this board?

This Message Has Been Approved By... Me... For the Office of EVERYTHING.

This Message Has Been Approved By... Me... For the Office of EVERYTHING.

Lately, as many of you have noticed, there have been a slew of people
running for office all over the country... from President of the
United States, to Commissioner on Toiletries.

It must be confusing for you all, and I understand that.

My name is Jeff Paulino...

and to simplify things, for you the voter, I am simply running for EVERYTHING.

Yes, that's right. You no longer have to wonder who is running for
what. No more questioning who are the contenders for the Governor of
Washington, The Mayor of Seattle, the Public Lands Commissioner, the
Vice President of the United States... so on and so forth.

My platform is simple and my promises so easy to understand that a
five year old will point and laugh at you if you don't understand
them.

I promise to fix EVERYTHING.

How you ask?

Simple: By fixing EVERYTHING.

Get it? Or do I have to send over a five year old?

You see, unlike the many contenders for the various public offices
throughout the nation, I am offering you, the people... MY PEOPLE...
straightforward and simple answers.

I will not raise taxes, but I will increase spending for education.

How you ask?

Simple: I will not raise taxes.

And I will increase spending for education.

Aren't you tired of these politicians saying they will do something
but without providing you with a plan of action?

Will fret no longer. Here is my plan for you, my America... A plan of
simplicity.

I will simply fix EVERYTHING.

So come November 2nd, don't vote for those other guys in all those
other races. Simply Vote Jeff... for the Office of Everything!

You'll also cut back on that pesky Carpal Tunnel, as you'll only have
to vote once, a vote that will encompass all the other choices.

Vote today. Vote Me. Vote the Future of EVERYTHING.

...of the day? You get at least a week out of that, man.

After all, she's going to be yours to worry about for around the next 18 years. Heh heh. Man o man.

Bonnie : that was my largest beef with the school system. I proclaimed and bitched and bemoaned that they didn't really teach anything in high-school, but looking back I realise where my fault lay - and it isn't with the system itself.

It is with the students. They don't want to learn, or rather it isn't that they do not wish to learn - rather - that they rather just want to be told what to regurigtate and get on with their lives.

There are some who did, in fact, go to school to learn - and they did. That was my folly. I figured that merely because the students themselves were uninterested in self education and listening and actually learning that the problem must be with the system.

Turns out that all their bullshit " School is what you make of it " was right.
Turns out I was wrong. Turns out I was barking up the wrong tree.

Jeff - your spleen nonsens is not only tiring, but annoying. Stop smoking the chronic. You've lost a good 80% of your coherant thought process and reason/rational - if you stop now you can probably recover a good majority of it.

Bradbury - I'm not a geek. =b

Awww, Bonnie...

I love and hate you two...

AND I WILL EAT YOUR SPLEEN!!!

and Michael Rigney...

I WILL EAT YOUR SPLEEN!!!

ALL SPLEEN, ALL THE TIME!!!

You know, James is one of the few people I know who doesn't seem to be willing to come to terms with the fact that he is a geek. There's nothing wrong with it, but it's certainly undeniable.

Think about it, he was one of the first people I knew with his own website.

...

This goddamn early shift is killing me. It's not 8:30 and I'm ready for bed. If I stay up past nine I'm dead the next day. For fuck's sake, how can you require people to be at work so many hours before the sun is even up? We fix computers, why the hell do we need to be there in the middle of the night to do it? All it really accomplishes is making us useless and slow until after lunch, at which point we're lethargic and tired.

[afterthought]

Upon much consideration...

I have come to the conclusion...

that i don't like any of you. Not a one. Not even you Michael Collins.

Especially not you.

So to fix that situation... I have decided that...

I WILL EAT YOUR SPLEENS! DELICIOUS TASTY SPLEENS!!!!!

that is all.

For today we delve back to a moment in time, to visit an ancient and respected power:

Power of the ANCIENT DRAGON SPIRIT!

It's time for a new tradition. A grand tradition... A tradition I will now call:



And for today's PICTURE OF THE DAY!!!:


Grocery Shopping with MOMMAjOe, GRANDPAjOe and jOe.

Hey alright, a front-row seat to watch jEFF's slide into the abyss of insanity.

Awesome.