Damn you Jeff.
I was going to say that I too use to harold " FUCK REGRETS " as a part of my persona.
I will just say this : To have no regrets is to miss out on being part of humanity.
-shrug-
September 15, 2002
The chubby one with pink hair. yes indeed. hence the "mistakenly"
Lots and lots of people find her attractive. and they go to her for advice. (she has some advice/fashion column in Seventeen mag) disgusting.
Things were getting too serious on the board. all the talk of regrets and should we regret our regrets and kill ourselves? etc and so forth. when things get serious, I take solace in dumb, silly things: teeny bopper things. And you guys all have your video games (your Dark Ages of Camelot to be exact). so deal
Lots and lots of people find her attractive. and they go to her for advice. (she has some advice/fashion column in Seventeen mag) disgusting.
Things were getting too serious on the board. all the talk of regrets and should we regret our regrets and kill ourselves? etc and so forth. when things get serious, I take solace in dumb, silly things: teeny bopper things. And you guys all have your video games (your Dark Ages of Camelot to be exact). so deal
September 14, 2002
So I ran into my arch nemesis last night at the Blockbuster.
I've secretly despised her for 4 years now.
Back then, I was introduced to Brittney W (however she spells the name Britney) and instantly told that I should be friends with her. The expression on my face most likely read: "You've got to be kidding. She looks boring"
Sure enough, soon after I found out that my friend TJ was desperately trying to avoid her. Claiming that Brittany was lame: she's The Poser.
"The Poser" being the Kelly Osbourne type. Slightly chubby, prone to saying incredibly unoriginal things in hope of being found to be cool, and people mistakenly find her attractive. Like Brittnie would say things like "I am so punk rock: Blink182 are my favourite band!" disgusting. (When I told Zohra this story, she instantly knew exactly what I was talking about when I said the Kelly Osbourne type. So apparently I'm not the only one)
So I see Brittany with my (male) friend Kelly last night. They're dating.
--Kelly is a popular, preppy, pretty boy on the wrestling team. The only story worth telling about him is that he spent an entire class time with his hands wrapped around my thighs, wrists, etc. He was intrigued by my skinniness and wanted to measure or something. what a weirdo. So I find him to be appealing (in a very platonic way).
So I had a short conversation with Kelly. and he introduces me to his girlfriend, Britny. She's dangling on his arm like a businessman's wife. She's dressed the part. (I told you she was a poser. god damn she's so vapid) and I say hi and ask her how she's doing and she moans. Her response was a fucking moan. What the hell type of person moans an answer?
I've secretly despised her for 4 years now.
Back then, I was introduced to Brittney W (however she spells the name Britney) and instantly told that I should be friends with her. The expression on my face most likely read: "You've got to be kidding. She looks boring"
Sure enough, soon after I found out that my friend TJ was desperately trying to avoid her. Claiming that Brittany was lame: she's The Poser.
"The Poser" being the Kelly Osbourne type. Slightly chubby, prone to saying incredibly unoriginal things in hope of being found to be cool, and people mistakenly find her attractive. Like Brittnie would say things like "I am so punk rock: Blink182 are my favourite band!" disgusting. (When I told Zohra this story, she instantly knew exactly what I was talking about when I said the Kelly Osbourne type. So apparently I'm not the only one)
So I see Brittany with my (male) friend Kelly last night. They're dating.
--Kelly is a popular, preppy, pretty boy on the wrestling team. The only story worth telling about him is that he spent an entire class time with his hands wrapped around my thighs, wrists, etc. He was intrigued by my skinniness and wanted to measure or something. what a weirdo. So I find him to be appealing (in a very platonic way).
So I had a short conversation with Kelly. and he introduces me to his girlfriend, Britny. She's dangling on his arm like a businessman's wife. She's dressed the part. (I told you she was a poser. god damn she's so vapid) and I say hi and ask her how she's doing and she moans. Her response was a fucking moan. What the hell type of person moans an answer?
I regret the entire winter of '98-'99.
and I think about this all the time.
but recently, I uncovered a journal that I had written from that time.
I read through the whole thing once (and promptly discarded it afterwards)
but see, if I hadn't had that shit happen to me, If I hadn't done that shit then,
then.. well I'd continue to be that girl who wrote that journal, and I wouldn't be the Chrissie I am.
actually, the end result of that winter is that I learned to not "settle" (friends, guys, and decisions, and so forth)
and I also started to like me. (Me wasn't a person I had liked for 2+ years up until that point)
um actually I kinda have forgotten what I was talking about, so I hope all of that above made the point I was wanting to make.
the point being... Live with Regrets but Accept Them Cuz They're Necessary or some b/s like that.
and I think about this all the time.
but recently, I uncovered a journal that I had written from that time.
I read through the whole thing once (and promptly discarded it afterwards)
but see, if I hadn't had that shit happen to me, If I hadn't done that shit then,
then.. well I'd continue to be that girl who wrote that journal, and I wouldn't be the Chrissie I am.
actually, the end result of that winter is that I learned to not "settle" (friends, guys, and decisions, and so forth)
and I also started to like me. (Me wasn't a person I had liked for 2+ years up until that point)
um actually I kinda have forgotten what I was talking about, so I hope all of that above made the point I was wanting to make.
the point being... Live with Regrets but Accept Them Cuz They're Necessary or some b/s like that.
You know... I think its a fundamental thing to have regrets. It's a human thing. In fact... there you go... that can be the dividing line between humanity and other animals. Hell... maybe it is evidence of having a soul...
After all... having regrets involves having a hell of a lot of other thought processes... and perhaps requires something extra.
I don't feel like going into that though, so i'll just leave it at that.
Do I have regrets? It is something I myself have considered from time to time... but for the most part I stand on the idea that I do not... for to have regrets (in my mind) would also imply that i have the desire to change something about the past aspects of my life.
That doesn't mean that I haven't made bad decisions, or have had consequences of bad decisions thrust upon me.
It just means, that despite that all... I wouldn't change it.
I however, would not look down upon anybody here, or elsewhere, who would say that they would change something, or that they have regrets... because I have not lived their lives... thus, to judge that person would be erroneous.
Thinking upon it... i suppose i have a form of regrets... in that there are things that i wish i hadn't done... and that if in the moment, i would have known what would be the consequence, i would not have done it...
but if i had that proverbial "rewind" button--i wouldn't use it.
One reason that comes to mind is that, as cliché as it sounds... my mistakes have made the person who is sitting here right now, typing out this particular response, and having these particular thoughts. I happen to like this person, and I would rather leave the lessons that i've lived through alone, and take what i can from them--even if the memories are not always good. Hell, sometimes i like to remember the bad memories... sometimes i like to feel bad about them... because i get a sort of good feeling from realising that they happened, and i have the power to decide whether they happen again.
Would i rewind and do things differently if i didn't like the person i was? Well, i don't know if i can honestly answer that. I suppose i would like to say no... believing that if i didn't like the person i was, i would change from the present onward...
but if i am to be honest with myself, i don't know what i would do.
--Ach, late nights.
G'night all.
September 13, 2002
You know what?
FUCK REGRETS
I'm not saying there aren't things in my past.......we all know there are.
We all have them.
It's part of being human, and part of the learning process.
If I had it all to do again, I'd do it the same way. Things could be worse, and you never know which choices could have lead you there.
Live your damn life. Don't make the same mistakes twice, and work to correct the ones you've made. Shit happens, buy a fucking helmet.
Regrets are a sign of weakness.
I'm not saying there aren't things in my past.......we all know there are.
We all have them.
It's part of being human, and part of the learning process.
If I had it all to do again, I'd do it the same way. Things could be worse, and you never know which choices could have lead you there.
Live your damn life. Don't make the same mistakes twice, and work to correct the ones you've made. Shit happens, buy a fucking helmet.
Regrets are a sign of weakness.
According to Ryan Adams (in the Whiskeytown song "I Hope It Rains at My Funeral"): "No sense in wanting my life to live over. I'll Find different ways to make the same mistakes again"
Now if you get over the depressing elements of that statement, You'll realize you shouldn't live your life in regret. Just accept the shit that you did and the shit that happened to you.
Ofcourse that leads me to the mood I've been in lately. The "What does it all mean?" one (very High Fidelity) but at least it's a question that can be answered & dealt with. As opposed to trying to imagine your life if you had a rewind button.
Now if you get over the depressing elements of that statement, You'll realize you shouldn't live your life in regret. Just accept the shit that you did and the shit that happened to you.
Ofcourse that leads me to the mood I've been in lately. The "What does it all mean?" one (very High Fidelity) but at least it's a question that can be answered & dealt with. As opposed to trying to imagine your life if you had a rewind button.
Choices . . . again.
I believe a long bit ago I made a post which was entitled " Choices " - and it consisted of me ranting and raving as I always do about some idiosyncratic detail of life while all-the-while bitching in my heart about something else. By complaining about one thing you indirectly complain about what you really wish to complain about. This time I wont. Because I understand a lot of things. I understand that who you are and where you are depend on the choices you make today, that you made yesterday - and that you will make tomorrow. I've talked with many of you about these things - some of you openly, the others they might not know they were talking about it but none-the-less the questions or conversations I had with you dealt with the same material. I spoke to Steven about the past - he and I agree and both are solemn about some of the decisions we've made in our past. I know that some things I have done I feel I should regret - and always hail that regretting things is a useless activity. No need for regret - all it does it cause more sorrow for yourself. I dont know if Steven regrets any of the things he has done - but I now have the nerve to admit there are things I have done in my past that I regret, and wish to the very center of my being that I could go through again and do right. " If I only knew then the things I know now." - the saying goes. We all make mistakes and we all deal with them. The question is not how to avoid mistakes or avoid problems - it is not how to avoid getting hurt or to protect yourself. The question is just how to live and take everything in as it comes to you. A problem I've realised about myself is that if I am not worrying about what I or someone else is going to do next, I am brooding over what could have been had I chosen different paths. And yet the question remains in my heart today : What life is a life worth living unhappy? At the risk of sounding melodramatic I appreciate each and every tid-bit that anyone here on the board posts - be it inane or stupid, a poem or a thought, a question, an answer. Anything really.
The best of luck to you all : wherever life may take you.
Because you'll need it.
I believe a long bit ago I made a post which was entitled " Choices " - and it consisted of me ranting and raving as I always do about some idiosyncratic detail of life while all-the-while bitching in my heart about something else. By complaining about one thing you indirectly complain about what you really wish to complain about. This time I wont. Because I understand a lot of things. I understand that who you are and where you are depend on the choices you make today, that you made yesterday - and that you will make tomorrow. I've talked with many of you about these things - some of you openly, the others they might not know they were talking about it but none-the-less the questions or conversations I had with you dealt with the same material. I spoke to Steven about the past - he and I agree and both are solemn about some of the decisions we've made in our past. I know that some things I have done I feel I should regret - and always hail that regretting things is a useless activity. No need for regret - all it does it cause more sorrow for yourself. I dont know if Steven regrets any of the things he has done - but I now have the nerve to admit there are things I have done in my past that I regret, and wish to the very center of my being that I could go through again and do right. " If I only knew then the things I know now." - the saying goes. We all make mistakes and we all deal with them. The question is not how to avoid mistakes or avoid problems - it is not how to avoid getting hurt or to protect yourself. The question is just how to live and take everything in as it comes to you. A problem I've realised about myself is that if I am not worrying about what I or someone else is going to do next, I am brooding over what could have been had I chosen different paths. And yet the question remains in my heart today : What life is a life worth living unhappy? At the risk of sounding melodramatic I appreciate each and every tid-bit that anyone here on the board posts - be it inane or stupid, a poem or a thought, a question, an answer. Anything really.
The best of luck to you all : wherever life may take you.
Because you'll need it.
September 12, 2002
September 10, 2002
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
if today didn't suck enough:
1. unable to get the Replacements albums I need oh-so bad
2. tony's car is still broken
3. kyle can't go to flogging molly :( :(
4. now the worst news of all: I just got the word that THE WHITE STRIPES are on the cover of the new SPIN.
you can all just go to hell now.
if today didn't suck enough:
1. unable to get the Replacements albums I need oh-so bad
2. tony's car is still broken
3. kyle can't go to flogging molly :( :(
4. now the worst news of all: I just got the word that THE WHITE STRIPES are on the cover of the new SPIN.
you can all just go to hell now.
my razor broke. like the whole thing. and i don't have any backups. so i have to use the blade to shave, which means that I'll probably miss a bunch of spots. which means that when tony sees me tonight he's gonna think i'm a Hairy Chrissie. arghh.. shaving sucks. I don't know why the hell girls have hair on any place besides their heads.
Buggazzooo
Hey...
so you're planning a LAN party eh? Well, depending on the time that you are going to have it, maybe i'll show up...
i doubt i'll play any games though, but it'd be fun to come and such, nonetheless.
also, i can showcase the movie that i am making...
--still currently without sound-effects... but that will soon change i imagine...
right now i'm sitting in the UW computer bookstore, typing away on an iMac... funzo...
i'm getting a keyboard, just don't know if i want to do that online, or buy it here... both have some perks i imagine.
Also, Michael... you'd better make plans to come with me and jimmoi and james for our third annual trip to mt. ranier... yeeup, that's right, i've choosen to bring you along in Andy's place... since him and james are still at each other...
that or i'll ditch james and have it be andy and jimmy and me, and you...
either way, it would seem as if you are invited...
--and its not 'till december. Hmmmpf... maybe i'll film the second episode of my movie up there... could be fun.
in any event, that is all boys and girls.
September 09, 2002
Tidbits
Ah, this cable modem thing was pissing me off for a second. My computer wouldn't recognize the connection, and it ALWAYS recognizes connections.
Anyway, the movie is finished. All i need is to add a soundtrack and sound effects, which won't take long at all. Any thoughts on what i can use? This is mostly directed toward James, Bradbury, Michael, and Jimmy (if he ever checks this), since you guys were there for filming and know roughly what it is about. For those of you who have no idea, here is a still:
And what is goin' on here. Who is this masked man... and what is he planning to do to Michael... Can we say, "Buttsexx?"
Yeah... i bet you are all really interested now... aren't ya?
Whelp... that is all for now...
no wait... here is something else for your funzo-amusement...
i call it... POWER OF THE DRAGON!
As you can see... Andy is one with the DRAGON SPIRIT!
Hehehe, sorry Andy, but i found that picture in my video archives and i just had to... doesn't matter i suppose, since you refuse to check the board...
September 08, 2002
Movie
My next movie moves along with great speed. Hehehe, michael, i think you'll enjoy it... i can't believe it, but that evil twin idea might actually work--- might.
Sorry if the movie didn't work at first... first time i've ever posted a movie...
and i am surprised that no one had the quicktime plugin... that was one of the first things i usually had to download--even when i had a PC.
i'm trying to figure out the right way to change the .mov file to a .mpg file-- bradbury, if you have any suggestions... that'd be great. i prefer the .mov file at the moment, because when i save it as such, it seems to come out cleaner in quality, and the file seems a bit smaller... a bit in the sense the file is like 140 k in .mov format... when i tried putting it in .mpg format, it came out to be 400-something k.
anyway...
hey michael, bradbury, james-- you remember the movie and its content -- any ideas for a title for the movie?
September 07, 2002
"Catalytic Serendipity"
I ran into Alec yesterday, at the district office.
Well, actually, he walked up behind me and announced his presence by jamming his finger into my lumbar region and making a kind of buzzing/screeching "eeeeee" noise. Good old Alec....
He's really starting to look a lot like the traditional portrayal of Jesus Christ. Any of you that may interface with him on a regular basis....(Michael, I look in your direction), tell him I said so....I'll be interested to hear what he has to say.
I ran into Alec yesterday, at the district office.
Well, actually, he walked up behind me and announced his presence by jamming his finger into my lumbar region and making a kind of buzzing/screeching "eeeeee" noise. Good old Alec....
He's really starting to look a lot like the traditional portrayal of Jesus Christ. Any of you that may interface with him on a regular basis....(Michael, I look in your direction), tell him I said so....I'll be interested to hear what he has to say.
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