You Never Truly Escape

0007


Seeking nostalgia, partly because I saw an old friend (from the 5th-6th grade era) today, I decided to go looking through my vast collection of pictures. As I was doing so, I ran across a picture that brought me back to my days of working at Target.

Ah, yes, for those young'uns that don't realize it (and you all really need to start respecting your elders - Michael, DT, I'm looking at you fuckers), I used to be a part of the grand Target family.

(You know, that family that you try to hide away and pretend like you aren't related to.) To be sure, I wasn't the first of us to work there. That honor is purely reserved for Jimmy. But I was one of the first in a line of many of us who would go on to work there.

Others such as:

• Jimmy Miller


• Michael Collins


• Zacho


• Steven Pearson (I think... someone verify this for me, if you're not all too busy playing WOW)


• Joe Ellefson (someone you don't know)


• Kyle Batie (another someone you don't know)


• Cali Archer (see above)

Yeah... now I know some of those are names that you don't know. Ohhh, big surprise, Jeff knows people outside this group of people. Maybe if you all read the board and posted, I wouldn't need to go off and make new friends. I blame you all.

But anyway, suffice it to say, many of us have felt the taint of Target.

And specifically, the taint of this man:

"Let's hit it hot, hard, and heavy!"

Yes, good ol' Roger.

Now you might be askin': "Why Jeff, why are you talking about this man when its been years since you've had to work under his oppressive aussie thumb?" Well, because I was a fool.

A fool?

Yes, a fool. For years, I stayed up here in Seattle, around the UW, thinking that I was safely tucked away in my corner of the state. And then, much to my surprise, this man shows up... and at the one place I would have thought I was the safest: UW. Look at that picture carefully... notice that he's not inside a Target... or a SuperTarget... or some sort of UltraMegaTarget? That's because he's hanging out in Mary Gates Hall... trying to recruit more Targetears... the bastard.

And he recognized me. Which is the sad, scary part.

I lost where I was going with this rant. So to tie it up... you all keep in mind... those things that you fear the most... those things that you thought you could escape by running away... oh no my friends. You never escape. They always show up... whether or not you expect it.

Hmm, I wish I could say I was happy with this post, but I'm not. Not that it matters. You all won't read it. Lazy bastards.

0006

Rolling Damage

I am a firm believer that in order to grow and succeed and evolve and whatnot... that you have to face adversity. That's just how the whole growth process works.

And yet, I'd like to know how a fuckin' blown tire really helps me.

Two days ago, Saturday (May 6th. 2006), I was scrambling to put together all the pieces for a bachelor party at a paintball place in Everett. And what was supposed to be scheduled, wasn't. So in the end, trying to get nine people up to a place in Everett with only a three-seater truck and a motorcycle made things a little difficult. But then we got my roommates truck, and all seemed to be working just fine. That is...

until I was told to follow the the truck into a gas-station because people thought it was a shortcut. Then when they realized it wasn't (and I had already known but went along - my mistake) I had to circle around the block, finding myself at an intersection with no immediate right turn available. Then someone suggests making a "U-ie" and so I try that. And I misjudge the distance between the car and the curb. And I hit the curb. And I hear that fun sound of a tire exploding.

And there goes Paintball.

I post this not to entertain you retards - since none of you ever read this board. I post it to remind myself of another time when I was driving, and then told to do something that I didn't initially want to do... and that lead to an accident.

That incident, of course, was the headlights-kicking-in incident way back in the days of Bethel High School. When I followed a car that tried to run me into oncoming traffic. And after following for a bit, under the suggestion of the carload, those inside said, "fuck it, never mind" and I slammed on the brakes, the car went for a spin, and ended up in a ditch. Truthfully, nothing was wrong with it, other than we had to push a little to get it out. But I was mad, and I kicked in one of the headlights.

Go figure.

Somewhere there is a lesson in all of these incidents. I suppose it is to not listen to you people when I drive, as I do so much better that way.

That or I need anger-management class.

That or I just need to start driving more often to hone my skills.

Of course, if I one day hit a pedestrian due to situations similar to above, I'd get at least 100 hit points.

So that's something.

0005

Harken

So I was thinking lately... actually not so lately... that we should all do some paintball again. I've been saying that for the past few years, but you fuckers never actually help go through with it. And of course I know that money is a part of the issue, but I'm sure we can all figure out a way to get around that. At the very least, we could make it a yearly thing. A "jimmoi-day" mega-summerpolooza of sorts... Everybody seems to enjoy a good --olooza.

Which also reminds me... we haven't done any sort of camping thing. That's partly my fault... I've been busy often. But I think that the next three day weekend I have off, we should all go to Fort Lewis and do a little cheap camping again. (And this time I'll bring my paintball gun, so if Mike has any fish or trout problems, we can deal with those.)

I don't know that anybody reads this board anymore, but it was worth a try. You bastards are probably too busy with your WOW to read this. Or post. And the supposedly new forums... yeah, that seemed like a joke. That and I've never really liked forums anyway.

0004 - Most Hated, 2006

You know, you bastards should really come to Cupcake sometime.

Of course, you all are too busy playing WOW. Or whatever other MMORPG that has come along to grasp your attention. And for that, I hate you all.

Which reminds me of other things that I dislike.

That's right, it's the Hate List 2006. Or the Most Disliked. I don't remember... I just remember having some list that I would make on a yearly basis, when I remembered it.

So yeah. We'll try that again:

The "I Hate..." List 2006

• 10. Smoker Guy on Bus - Now this isn't to say that I hate all smokers. I know Jimmy and DT like to smoke. Haha, there go your lungs you fuckers. But I don't hate them. What I do hate is this guy that gets on my bus after smoking the tree equivalent of all a state forest, and then saddles up right next to me. Damn you Smoker Guy on Bus.


• 09. Brokeback Mountain Lovers - Not all those people that like Brokeback Mountain. Just the ones who like the movie and then get all pissy when I don't want to watch it. News flash people, just because a person doesn't want to watch a gay cowboy movie, doesn't make him a) homophobic, b) closet gay, or c) Tom Cruise. I don't really like very many cowboy films. So I have no interest in the movie. Oh, and I really don't want to see two guys doin' it. Doesn't mean I don't like gay people. I'm pretty sure there are plenty of gay people out there that don't like watching two straight people gettin' it on. You don't call them heterophobes.


• 08. Bill Nye, the Science Guy - I just don't like the way your name sounds.


• 07. Karl Rove - You haunt my dreams.


• 06. Casper, the Friendly Ghost - Fuck you Casper. There is no way you are going to be that friendly all the time when your a ghost. Nobody can be. Not unless you are the ghost of Mother Theresa, and even then, I bet you'd be pissed off that your dead. And you can't be the ghost of Mother Theresa, or your name would be Mother Theresa, the Friendly Ghost. No, best bet is your the future ghost of Casper Van Diem, who died in the future, or is perhaps dead now, and went back in time to a time and place when people didn't know how much you sucked. And if you are him, Casper, I doubt you'd be that friendly, knowing that you were once Casper Van Diem. Unless you lose your memories when you die, then, and only then, would I see you being overly friendly, at having forgotten how much you suck.


• 05. Tickle Me, Elmo - Pedofile.


• 04. Harry Whittington - Pure stupidity. Who in their right mind would actually be five miles near Dick Cheney with a gun?? Good sir, it is your own fault.


• 03. Suri Cruise - For being the child of Tom Cruise. Choose better parents next time.


• 02. Every Single Contestant on American Idol - It is because of you all that that fuckin' show continues to stay on the air.



• 01. Tom Cruise

  - Even if you tried, you couldn't be less of a douchebag than L. Ron Hubbard. You brainwash you actresses, impregnate them (which I still doubt, I think it was another Scientologist crony) with your vile seed, name your children idiotic names, create hyper-shitty movies like MI:2 (thank God, J. J. Abrams is making MI:3, so hopefully it won't be the shitstorm that MI:2 was - fuck you Woo, your making the list next year), and your name is Tom Cruise. Fuck you Tom. You've only been watchable in a few movies, and you can't even hold a candle to actors like Brad Pitt, Philip Seymore Hoffman, Christian Bale (to name a broad, diverse few)... hell, even Carrot Top (okay, maybe that was a bit overboard). But oh so how I loathe you.

Ah, there's something to be said about traditions, and about hating on Tom Cruise.

Fuck you Cruise.

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around
since I was born.
And now it's all right. It's OK.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
the New York Times' effect on man.

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',
and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.

Well now, I get low and I get high,
and if I can't get either, I really try.
Got the wings of heaven on my shoes.
I'm a dancin' man and I just can't lose.
You know it's all right. It's OK.
I'll live to see another day.
We can try to understand
the New York Times' effect on man.

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',
and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.

Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yeah.
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yeah. Stayin' alive.

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm,
I've been kicked around since I was born.
And now it's all right. It's OK.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
the New York Times' effect on man.

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',
and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.

Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yeah.
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me, yeah.
I'm stayin' alive.

0003

Wow Adam, I'm surprised anybody is still trying to post on this. Way to go man. Way to not let this thing die when both of its legs have been chewed off by rabid kangaroos.

Kangaroos... man that brings back memories.

Dangerous memories of a time spent persecuted by--

Anyway, you have inspired me to post more on this. Of course, I don't expect that inspiration to last very long - quite possibly 45 minutes.

But hey, it's something right?

Right.

It's now been over five years.


Wow.

Perhaps you've just got dry skin?

0002

Working at a veteran's hospital, you begin to get used to certain things... you know... what you would normally expect. Old guys mostly... talking about the great war, or the "gook" war, or the damn liberals... so forth and so on. Old guys in wheel chairs... old guys hooked up to oxygen tanks... old guys with walkers and canes.

Old guys everywhere.

(For anyone thinking that a hospital is a great place to hook up with some hot doctor woman... the VA hospital does not fall into that category.)

I have spent a little over a year at the VA hospital now... and after that time, you eventually become numb to a great many things, and things others might find funny, sad, life-altering or shocking, you begin to shrug off as just another day on the job.

And then yesterday I saw something I have never seen before:

As I was walking down the hallway from the canteen (what a layperson calls a cafeteria, but the government has to call a canteen), with my co-worker, after having discussed what we hate about our jobs, I took notice of a smell vaguely familiar of lotion.

Yes, I am familiar with the smell of lotion. Fill in whatever depraved thoughts you jack-asses might have, but I'm familiar with it...

So I look around, thinking that maybe it's my female co-worker using lotion. But no... I know it's not for two reasons. 1) She's a sane person, and no sane person would just bust out a bottle of lotion and start "lotioning" up on the way back to the office unless their skin was so chapped and cracked that they were in danger of turning to dust with the slightly breeze. And at that point, being in a hospital, she would do better to go to a doctor. 2) Her lotion smells different. Like plums or something... I don't know. I know it doesn't smell like this kind of lotion. You pick up on things like this when you're stuck in an office together with a woman for a year.

Looking around for the source, I stumble across that which I have never seen before. Before me is a guy, no taller than me. Quite shorter in fact, but not so short as to be called a midget or whatever the politically correct term is. I believe he's one of the "special" workers the VA employs to pick up the recycling every afternoon. You know... an "iSenior!"

He is looking around, almost like he's looking for help. But he's not asking anybody for anything. Just looking. Sad, almost dejected. You never really notice the more shocking or odd things first. Not always anyway. I noticed that he seemed stranded. It wasn't until I began to pass him that I noticed that his face and hands were covered in white goop.

Yes. White goop. Dripping, droopy, semi-clear, semi-white goop. Hands and face.

Now, of course you have all figured out that the source of the lotion smell was probably coming from him. That's what I deduced at least. I didn't bother to confirm this, but given the oddity of the situation, I had my reasons for why.

And of course the white goop was lotion.

But still, you all know you were thinking it. Even my female co-worker was thinking it. She was the one who first said it.

"I hope that was lotion..."

Given the context of things though, and what half of you probably thought when I said that I was familiar with the smell of lotion... and of course Jimmy's experience with lotion and such...

"... at least I think it was."

Maybe it's that I live in Seattle. After all, I seem to have had the most experience with odd things and odd encounters and I live here. Even Aaron had his little "Muthafuckin' Ring Two!" experience in Seattle.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

0001

Memory is a funny thing. It hits you when you least expect it and nags you until you acknowledge it.

To that end, I provide this:
(you may need to scroll out)




I know I probably have forgotten some of you, and my apologies for that. Email me (nonfinis@gmail.com) if so, and I will rectify that. (that is if you bastards still check this board at all - and that is something i will change).

And lastly, to let you all see where you fit in the rest of my collective circles:



Mostly because James noted that most of you I know through him. And almost seemed to insinuate that that's how I know all of my associations.

Not quite. And this chart is also probably missing components.

Now, your job is to make your own. Basically it is a map of the people I know, and through which person I originally met them by. If you can't make one of these, send me the info in an email and I will generate it and then make it for you. Then they will all be hyperlinked like an image map.

Now go, spread forth and create. Fools.

for anyone paying attention, you can now access the board via loose-slugs.blogger.com

the template as it is right now is not edited, but soon will be.

So, do I get the dubious distinction of LAST POST?

Is it official?

Did someone finally put this poor old board out of its misery?

Looks like it.






Farewell, Slugs.

So I'm an asshole now, am I?

Oh, wait, that's nothing new....

Poor Poor Michael

Aww... Poor Michael

Michael... I accept you and all your cow-simulating self. If I
didn't, I would have had you executed long ago like Kevin.

You don't remember Kevin, because Kevin didn't get to stick around
long enough to meet you. I blame him, as he pissed me off, and I had
to... dispose of his annoyance.

You aren't to that level. So I am not forced to deal with you as I
dealt with Kevin.

Poor, poor Kevin.

Otherwise, I agree. We do need to do something. Something to shake
things up... unfortunately half of us do not drive, and the other half
do not want to drive...

and the other half have jobs that keep us from doing something.

So my weekends are free sometimes... we need to actually try...
planning something.

I know how we are all against the planning of things... but for the
sake of actually seeing each other, we may need to consider it.

Lastly, for the sake of keeping Michael from crying... I would never
actually translate what I say on the board about you to real life. Of
all the Collins, you are now the one with the most potential for...
well... something other than waking up in a pile of Post-It notes and
dog hair.
--
Jeff Paulino, BS
5215 15th Ave NE Apt. 19
Seattle, WA 98105
206.930.5344 (MAIN PHONE)
206.277.4761 (WORK TEL)

GOBBLE GOBBLE YOU FOOLS!

So, yeah, happy Thanksgiving you fools. i meant to write that yesterday but I was too hopped up on Tryptofan... it was like a crazy '70's nightmare...

Trolls kept coming up to me saying, "hey, have you seen michael... he is our furry lord"...

I just kicked them several times... it was good fun. It reminded me of the time i stole a sandwich from a hobo after fighting him in a street version of mortal kombat.

>.... if this post is weird... blame the TRYPTOFAN!

TRYPTOFUN TRYPTOAWESOMENESS!

You know, James has many abilities that are, well, comic.

And then there are those humorous drawings he does.

The Walleroo!

Okay... years and years ago... I went on a tirade about how Kangaroos
and Wallabies are evil and that they would be used one day in the
ultimate conquest of the human race.

And of course you fuckers didn't believe me. You all never do. It's
always more of the: Oh what crazy thing is Jeff talking about now..."

First, to that I'd just like to say: I hate you all. Especially
you Michael, you FURRY-FREAK!"

Secondly..., and far more importantly:

I WAS RIGHT!

Don't believe me? Big surprise...

But now I have proof. Proof that I was right, which turns out to
usually be true 95.67% of the time.

Wallaroo, goat escape from Vanilla Ice's house in Port St. Lucie

Associated Press

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. - New hit songs may not be coming for Vanilla
Ice, but the rapper's animal troubles are.

The singer who had a 90s hit with "Ice Ice Baby" called animal control
officials Wednesday to report that a wallaroo and goat found wandering
around Port St. Lucie over the weekend had escaped from his backyard,
city officials said.

The rapper, whose real name is Robert Van Winkle, may have problems
getting his pets back. The wallaroo, a cross between a wallaby and a
kangaroo, is considered an exotic animal and is not allowed in Port
St. Lucie. Farm animals such as the goat also are banned.

The animals were picked up Saturday by Port St. Lucie Animal Control
after a woman reported them, saying the 60-pound wallaroo had
scratched her and kicked her car.

Van Winkle was not at his Port St. Lucie home Wednesday. A schedule on
his Web site said he was in California taping a motorcycle commercial.

In January, Bucky the wallaroo accidentally scratched his face. That
forced him to cancel photo shoots and interviews for his appearance on
VH1's "Surreal Life" reality show, which featured celebrities whose
fame had faded.

Van Winkle, 36, bought the wallaroo from a Florida breeder after his
Arctic Canadian lynx died three years ago, he has said in interviews.
Van Winkle was cited twice in 1998 for keeping the lynx in his
backyard.

Now don't go telling me that Vanilla Ice is not evil in some way...
and now he keeps, as a pet, the combined evil of a kangaroo and a
wallaby!

And he has a goat!

We should all know from "Amityville Horror" that goats are evil.
Goats are those things that get sacrificed in the Bible.

Now, if and yours were sacrificed in the Bible over and over again,
don't you think that you'd be a little pissed and turn into an evil
animal? And Wallabies and Kangaroos are the same. I mean, c'mon,
Australians don't have goats over there (or they were imported) (or
they probably do but... I don't care), so instead they sacrificed
Wallabies and Kangaroos... pissing them off, and making them hate
humanity.

Couple all that animal hatred with Vanilla Ice, who has every reason
to hate people for shunning him after the fiasco that he calls his
music career, and you have one man more dangerous than all the
terrorist groups out there.

Something to think about.

With regards to this board... the board is dying not necessarily
because everyone is lazy (that's my single reason and not your alls)
but because 1. the novelty has worn off, and 2. james hasn't done
anything in a long time worth reporting about and making fun of.

It's been years... so if you want to increase traffic to the board,
you have to start doing stuff outside of the board. Camping, movies,
lighting James' hair on fire...

I personally like the board. Always have, even though I don't have
time to post sometimes. I've been learning some stuff on the side
which should actually make my posts more ... unique.

If you all are going to do something to the board... at least leave
the board for me. I like it. I will continue to check it even when
all of you are dead.

(Which will be in 13 months, six days, and eleven minutes - commuter
bus accident)

--
Jeff Paulino, BS
5215 15th Ave NE Apt. 19
Seattle, WA 98105
206.930.5344 (MAIN PHONE)
206.277.4761 (WORK TEL)

I WENT BACK TO OHIO
BUT MY CITY WAS GONE
THERE WAS NO TRAIN STATION
THERE WAS NO DOWNTOWN
SOUTH HOWARD HAD DISAPPEARED
ALL MY FAVORITE PLACES
MY CITY HAD BEEN PULLED DOWN
REDUCED TO PARKING SPACES
A, O, WAY TO GO OHIO


WELL I WENT BACK TO OHIO
BUT MY FAMILY WAS GONE
I STOOD ON THE BACK PORCH
THERE WAS NOBODY HOME
I WAS STUNNED AND AMAZED
MY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES
SLOWLY SWIRLED PAST
LIKE THE WIND THROUGH THE TREES
A, O, OH WAY TO GO OHIO


I WENT BACK TO OHIO
BUT MY PRETTY COUNTRYSIDE
HAD BEEN PAVED DOWN THE MIDDLE
BY A GOVERNMENT THAT HAD NO PRIDE
THE FARMS OF OHIO
HAD BEEN REPLACED BY SHOPPING MALLS
AND MUZAK FILLED THE AIR
FROM SENECA TO CUYAHOGA FALLS
SAID, A, O, OH WAY TO GO OHIO

Another week gone by, no posts. What the hell is going on with this board?

This Message Has Been Approved By... Me... For the Office of EVERYTHING.

This Message Has Been Approved By... Me... For the Office of EVERYTHING.

Lately, as many of you have noticed, there have been a slew of people
running for office all over the country... from President of the
United States, to Commissioner on Toiletries.

It must be confusing for you all, and I understand that.

My name is Jeff Paulino...

and to simplify things, for you the voter, I am simply running for EVERYTHING.

Yes, that's right. You no longer have to wonder who is running for
what. No more questioning who are the contenders for the Governor of
Washington, The Mayor of Seattle, the Public Lands Commissioner, the
Vice President of the United States... so on and so forth.

My platform is simple and my promises so easy to understand that a
five year old will point and laugh at you if you don't understand
them.

I promise to fix EVERYTHING.

How you ask?

Simple: By fixing EVERYTHING.

Get it? Or do I have to send over a five year old?

You see, unlike the many contenders for the various public offices
throughout the nation, I am offering you, the people... MY PEOPLE...
straightforward and simple answers.

I will not raise taxes, but I will increase spending for education.

How you ask?

Simple: I will not raise taxes.

And I will increase spending for education.

Aren't you tired of these politicians saying they will do something
but without providing you with a plan of action?

Will fret no longer. Here is my plan for you, my America... A plan of
simplicity.

I will simply fix EVERYTHING.

So come November 2nd, don't vote for those other guys in all those
other races. Simply Vote Jeff... for the Office of Everything!

You'll also cut back on that pesky Carpal Tunnel, as you'll only have
to vote once, a vote that will encompass all the other choices.

Vote today. Vote Me. Vote the Future of EVERYTHING.

...of the day? You get at least a week out of that, man.

After all, she's going to be yours to worry about for around the next 18 years. Heh heh. Man o man.

Bonnie : that was my largest beef with the school system. I proclaimed and bitched and bemoaned that they didn't really teach anything in high-school, but looking back I realise where my fault lay - and it isn't with the system itself.

It is with the students. They don't want to learn, or rather it isn't that they do not wish to learn - rather - that they rather just want to be told what to regurigtate and get on with their lives.

There are some who did, in fact, go to school to learn - and they did. That was my folly. I figured that merely because the students themselves were uninterested in self education and listening and actually learning that the problem must be with the system.

Turns out that all their bullshit " School is what you make of it " was right.
Turns out I was wrong. Turns out I was barking up the wrong tree.

Jeff - your spleen nonsens is not only tiring, but annoying. Stop smoking the chronic. You've lost a good 80% of your coherant thought process and reason/rational - if you stop now you can probably recover a good majority of it.

Bradbury - I'm not a geek. =b

Awww, Bonnie...

I love and hate you two...

AND I WILL EAT YOUR SPLEEN!!!

and Michael Rigney...

I WILL EAT YOUR SPLEEN!!!

ALL SPLEEN, ALL THE TIME!!!

You know, James is one of the few people I know who doesn't seem to be willing to come to terms with the fact that he is a geek. There's nothing wrong with it, but it's certainly undeniable.

Think about it, he was one of the first people I knew with his own website.

...

This goddamn early shift is killing me. It's not 8:30 and I'm ready for bed. If I stay up past nine I'm dead the next day. For fuck's sake, how can you require people to be at work so many hours before the sun is even up? We fix computers, why the hell do we need to be there in the middle of the night to do it? All it really accomplishes is making us useless and slow until after lunch, at which point we're lethargic and tired.

[afterthought]

Upon much consideration...

I have come to the conclusion...

that i don't like any of you. Not a one. Not even you Michael Collins.

Especially not you.

So to fix that situation... I have decided that...

I WILL EAT YOUR SPLEENS! DELICIOUS TASTY SPLEENS!!!!!

that is all.

For today we delve back to a moment in time, to visit an ancient and respected power:

Power of the ANCIENT DRAGON SPIRIT!

It's time for a new tradition. A grand tradition... A tradition I will now call:



And for today's PICTURE OF THE DAY!!!:


Grocery Shopping with MOMMAjOe, GRANDPAjOe and jOe.

Hey alright, a front-row seat to watch jEFF's slide into the abyss of insanity.

Awesome.

Burger-Time
----------------------

You know, when it's worded that way, driving 50 miles and all, that does make it sound kinda...

well you get the idea.

Ah, well in case you don't...

IT SOUND SAD. SAD AND PATHETIC.

Mwahahaha!!!!

LIKE A MONKEY!

It has been raining all day here. ALL FUCKIN' DAY. Though in retrospect, I actually like the rain, so that works out for me. Except for when I'm walking down the street and a car drives by me, and drenches me.

BUT HE WILL PAY WITH BLOOD!!!

Or donuts.

Yeah, maybe just donuts. Cherry Jam filled.

DELICIOUS.

FOOL!!!

How dare you say that Jeff does not care??! HOW DARE YOU!!!

I WILL DESTROY YOU AS I HAVE DECIMATED THE GREAT AND ONCE PROUD MOLE PEOPLE!!!

you and your pathetic military training means nothing to me...

NOTHING!!!

{I had coffee earlier today...}

About this coming up to eat Dicks... (jimmy's idea, mind you... which really... can you expect much less when his mom always wants him to eat meat?)... give me a call when you're up here... i'll probably be able to do it, since I don't work that day at hollywood (but I do at the VA, so I might be tired, or kept late that day).

I guess I'm not too... thrilled only because i could go there everyday... and when you can go somewhere everyday, it looses some of that novel appeal.

Unless it is really awesome...

Anyway.

So in reiteration...

I WILL DESTROY YOU BONNIE. YOU AND YOUR MILITARY SCHOOL!!!

Right, um... Not so rare, the virus.

Unless, of course, you're speaking of non-Windows platforms. Then I'd be surprised to hear the suggestion (always am when I do)

If you're running a Windows box connected to the internet constantly, without a firewall of some kind and no virus protection, you've probably got a virus.

Not only if it's acting strange, it's just a safe bet that you do.

More likely it's spyware/malware you picked up from a less-than-reputable website you may have visited, but never discount the idea of a virus on an unprotected Windows machine. Good god, it makes me shiver just to think about it.

Four points of advice:

1) Go out and get yourself some antivirus, install it and follow the directions. McAfee is what most IT dudes will recommend - don't use Norton's/Symantec or an off-brand.

B) Get AdAware.

III) Quit using Internet Explorer. Switch to FireFox. IE has more backdoors and easy ways in than a whorehouse in Phnom Phen.

d) Visit Windows Update and make damn sure all the Windows updates relating to security are currently installed on your computer.

Best idea is to install your antivirus and AdAware, make sure their definitions are up to date, then restart in safe mode to run the scans. Otherwise, you're not guaranteed everything will be caught and disposed of.

You'll need 1) and B) to get it clean, but if you don't do III) and d), you're only wasting time with the first pair.

...

Of course, this is just advice from an IT professional. Listen to whoever you like.

When are we meeting in Seattle tomorrow?

Also, who needs a ride up there?

Come to daddy.

Dammit, read this

Fuckers.

...


Went down to the Museum of Glass today. Saw Davide and his crew working. Ran into Kayla.

I really need to go down there more often.

Thanks for the goodbye, Bonnie.

I really don't care for personal goodbyes. Not very good at them. Especially leaving Pilchuck, everyone is so close. There will be waterworks, and then I'll join in. Just not pleasant. It seems electronic goodbyes are much more civil.

I am back now. It seems there was some confusion as to that. I got back yesterday morning. Snuck out at 9am without saying many goodbyes. It's just better that way. I don't know when I'll see most of those people again, so it's best to just disappear in the night. Common technique amongst the experienced PIlchuck group. Although, the goodbye hugs are always nice.

Must continue on....

Man, Aaron, you really moved a long way. What, two, maybe three hundred feet. Daring of you.

I'll be there.

"The Hunger Strikes!"

"The Hunger Strikes!"

---

I wrote jOe an email about a week ago, and I haven't heard back from
him. And then today I came across this newstory and I realize where
he's been all this time.

*Note: this article originally appears in the Seattle Times... but I
decided to post it hear because not everyone clicks the links.
Sometimes I don't. So for all those crazy copyright lawyer people...
I'm not claiming this as an original piece of work.

Alleged hungry burglar nabbed in spree

By Michael Ko
Seattle Times staff reporter

Julie Sanchez keeps a three-stone diamond ring and two pairs of
24-carat gold earrings in a ceramic container on her kitchen
windowsill. But the man who broke into her Shoreline house early
Sunday morning wasn't interested.
Instead, the hungry burglar gobbled a box of Creamsicles, six shrimp
kabobs, about a dozen mini corndogs, half a large package of Costco
lunch meats, two fruit drinks, a glass of milk, a dozen clumps of
frozen cookie dough and several large handfuls of M&Ms.

Sanchez figures he wolfed down everything in 15 minutes.

"We believe he actually heated up some of that food in the microwave,"
said Sanchez, 44, who was sleeping while the man ate.

The family dog's constant barking finally awakened her and her
husband, just in time for them to hear somebody running out the
sliding glass door.

The Sanchez family was the last victim of an unusual burglary spree
that ended later Sunday when Shoreline police arrested a man in his
late 20s. The man, who is in custody at the King County Jail, is not
being named because he hasn't been charged.

Investigators believe that starting Aug. 3, the man broke into as many
as 11 homes in Shoreline and Lake Forest Park, usually late at night
and often when the homeowners were sleeping. And while he occasionally
snatched fistfuls of cash, he usually had only one thing on his mind:
food.

During one break-in, the man even thawed some frozen steaks, fried
them and ate them on the sofa while watching television, said King
County sheriff's Detective Christina Bartlett. In that case, the house
was unoccupied at first. The homeowners returned to confront the man,
who ran away.

In fact, the man was confronted on several occasions, even getting
into a fight at one house. But he ran away each time.

The brazen burglaries ended about 5:30 p.m. Sunday at Berean Bible
Church, on the 2300 block of North 185th Street in Shoreline.
Churchgoers noticed a stranger rifling through a woman's purse. They
held him down until police arrived.

The man had food-related evidence in his car that tied him to the
other crimes, Bartlett said. Police don't have a clear idea of his
motive yet, but are considering whether the man might have an eating
disorder or was just being bold, she said.

Sanchez believes the intruder first ate the Creamsicles, which were in
a outdoor freezer. Then he entered through the kitchen window, which
had been cracked open slightly before the family went to sleep.

When she surveyed the kitchen after the man had gone, drawers and
cabinets had been ransacked and the refrigerator and freezer doors
were flung wide open.

Food wrappers and the contents of her purse were scattered on the floor.

But she found her credit cards, as well as a $50 gift certificate that
was a birthday present for her husband. Other than food, the only
things missing were a small amount of cash from her purse and a jar of
coins.

"I have four kids, and all of them could have been exposed to who
knows what," Sanchez said. "People have endured a lot worse in these
kind of situations, and we're just really fortunate he was really
hungry."

Copyright © 2004 The Seattle Times Company

I'm sorry, but that is just ultimate.

"Remember the jOe"

"Remember the jOe"

---

Mr. Collins' post about Zach-o and his glory days made me think of
some of the other people we have no associated with in some time.

Then I started thinking of what might have happened to them... to the
likes of Drew... that lesbian chick that Jimmy and James knew... (I
don't know if she was actually a lesbian, they just always seemed to
think she was)... Pinkos. Something like that.

That Air Force guy other than Jimmy...

And of course, the simple answer is... jOe must have eaten them.

So that's how I got to thinking about jOe...

Incidently, that's how I thought, wouldn't it be funny to do an email
recap of jOe.

Probably not, but it doesn't matter because it's my post, and not yours:

For the first few of these, I don't have my side of the convo
because it was never saved... the others should have mine
though

---

Date: Fri, 09 Feb 2001 00:07:21 -0000
From: joseph macauley
To: nonfinis@u.washington.edu
Subject: Re: life's little intricasies

Hay Jeff my good for nothin whore of a father gave me a faster computer. He
got the whore he was with pranet and had another kid more free labor in his
mind. The asshole bught the whore a new car and didn't give evon a used
one. Friday the ninth I take my driving test at 10 in the morning.

Colossal Joe

---

---

Date: Fri, 09 Feb 2001 23:06:35 -0000
From: joseph macauley
To: nonfinis@u.washington.edu
Subject: Re: life's little intricasies

I got my drivers licence today. Now I aave to bug my good for nothing dad
for a car.

Colossal Joe

---

---

Date: Mon, 02 Jul 2001 03:47:33 -0000
From: joseph macauley
To: nonfinis@u.washington.edu
Subject: Re: Just an email...


hay jeff

I have an interview for a job at chevern monday july 2.

I will tell you how it goes

---

---

Date: Tue, 03 Jul 2001 17:14:08 -0000
From: joseph macauley
To: nonfinis@u.washington.edu
Cc: nonfinis@mail.com
Subject: come over

hey jeff

you should come over her on the fourth
food and fireworks

bring some thing to keep my brothers amused

Colossal Joe

---

---

As far as I can tell, this next email was actually meant for
Jimmy, and Joe was just sending it to me to relay to him -- but I
don't remember for sure
Date: Tue, 9 Jul 2002 21:46:33 EDT
From: MACAULEYBOYS@aol.com
To: nonfinis@u.washington.edu
Subject: (no subject)
Parts/Attachments:
View|Save 1 OK 7 lines Text
View|Save 2 Shown 4 lines Text
----------------------------------------

hey james
Hows the airforce dont tell anyone about your monkey rash nick
name. I was going to bring it up at Fox's but I could't rember. When
you get back I'll say "hay monkey rash". We should go to Fox's when you
get back. Until then enjoy the push ups and live fire drills.
the all
powerful
Joe

---

---

Date: Tue, 9 Jul 2002 21:55:43 EDT
From: MACAULEYBOYS@aol.com
To: nonfinis@u.washington.edu
Subject: more from joe

My brothers dog died and I have to dig the hole for it. my one brother
is a pot head and his cat almost got hit by lighting. I cant stand beer its
nasty tast and crapy oder make me think it is fore the morons of the world.

---

---

From: Jeff Paulino
To: MEGAjOe
Date: Wed, 4 Aug 2004 10:29:43 -0700
Subject: Yo jOe!
Reply | Reply to all | Forward | Print | Add sender to contacts list |
Show original
Hey jOe!

It's been a really long time since I talked to you or emailed you or
anything. To be honest, I don't even know if you still check this
email. Hopefully you do...

So how are things going with you? Do you still live at home? Still
working for your dad? Speaking of your dad, has he had anymore
illegitamate children with other women?

I think you're family will one day be the biggest family in the world.
Just a guess mind you.

Are your brothers still freaks? Well, maybe "freaks" is a bit harsh...

I was thinking of organizing another Paintball thing because Jimmy
will be coming back... at least that's what I hear, and I'm not sure
for how long... would you be up for that. It would be fun... MASSIVE
AMOUNTS OF FUN.

Anyway, I have got to get back to work, so respond to this, or else!

Jeff.

Response:

From: joseph macauley
To: nonfinis@gmail.com
Date: Wed, 04 Aug 2004 23:01:15 +0000
Subject: hay jeff
Reply | Reply to all | Forward | Print | Add sender to contacts list |
Show original
I check this e-mail adress every day. I would love to go paintballing. as
long a it is not when i am working at the fair agian they gave ma a
callback. thank god for the fair i dont have to help my dad and i wont see
my freaky little brothers "bitch brother has his perment" watch out . I
still live at home.

---

Yes, for all you who have nothing better to do than read this stuff,
there you go... and up-to-date report on jOe, that unstoppable menace.
While he doesn't say expressly that he's eaten Drew or the others...

I still suspect...
Always suspect...

Hello everyone. It seems the board still has some life in it yet.

I hadn't checked it, and therefore was not around to participate and contribute my ... ah, ever so warped perception of the school system we know as academia.

In stead, I'd like to do a recap on one of our slugs who moved on to bigger, better things.

Do any of you remember ...


Zach Staley???

Yes. Long ago, one of our catalytic slugs. The one who made us get up and do something - but he has long sinced moved onto his illustrious rap-star career. I recall when he first came up with the idea of being a rap star. It was when we were camping the last time he was out here, from the lonesome midwest. He thought it would be cool to come up with a "new hip hop dance" - one that would "really move ya body".

He grabbed a bat and wiggled his body, shaking his appendages like they were dead limbs.

" LOOK EVERYBODY, DO THE ZACHO! " he exclaimed.



the infamous "zacho dance"

It wasn't until later on, at the airport, when we were all saying our goodbyes to eachother that he donned his Proudly Served Veteran hat, saying "This looks like a trucker hat and those are the new thing in underground hip hop rap music, you uncultured fools!"

And he was right. We were uncultured fools. We didn't know nothing about no blackie swing music. Back in those days all negros were good for was picking cotton and stealing televisions, nobody ever thought they'd be a marketable resource to sell phat beats to. Nobody, with the exception of Zach.



zacho at the airport

I remember right as his plane was leaving, and mind you this is way before september eleventh when security was as tight as my little sister's cunt, when the airport security officers told him to take off his trucker hat as "it was unseemly" and "not fit for flying in" - I remember with great clarity him flipping off the officers and exlaiming " FUCK DA POLICE! KEEPIN DA BLACK MAN DOWN! "



zacho feels the black man's struggle

Yes, I remember the old Zach. The Zach who we all went road-skiing with. The Zach who we all thought was gay and told homosexual jokes about him when he wasn't around. The Zach who smelled funny even after taking a shower. The Zach who once fucked a girl in the butt, in a shower, and logged onto the internet immediately after just to regale us of his escapade. Yes, I remember the Zach of olden days past. But those days are long dead and gone.

Now all that remains... is the rap star everyone knows as "VETERAN WHITIE"


Veteran Whitie Reprezentin' Yo!

"Education and the lies within"

"Education and the lies within"

---

I would agree. I have read study after study that indicates changing
the motivational factors behind learning tend to lead to an overall
increase in learning. But then again, nobody actually pays attention
to that, thinking that it's better if we increase the number of tests
in our school systems... and to stress the ever-consuming importance
of the great and powerful test.

It's saddening, and sickening.

And it's completely overrated. I work with doctors now in a hospital
and I constantly see them referring to manuals, dictionaries,
guidebooks, encyclopedias, journals, the internet... etc. etc. etc...

Nobody ever expects them to remember every thing they were ever
taught. Yes, yes it is important for them to try and retain as much
as they can, but it isn't against the practice to pick up a manual and
refresh yourself.

And therein lies a tremendous problem... When I was in school, they
always gave you the impression that you had to do good on the tests...
you always studied for the tests... you always worked to get the
highest GPA on the tests... the tests were weighted the heaviest.

Another reason why I hated high school - because I became aware of
this problem early on.

I will admit that sure, if we took the pressure off of tests, some
people would only slack off more... but you know what... you just find
another way to reach them. Or you let them fail. I can't say I
necessarily support that, but at the same time, if someone wants to
continuously take for granted opportunities, then the only way they
are going to realize their mistake is to feel its consequences.

As for those that would benefit... I would say they would learn more.
Tests are supposed to be a way for teachers to gauge how much they
have taught their students... not a way for them to ostrecize the
dumb, pushing them further into the background and making them feel
displaced.

One reason why I liked college so much was that the concepts of tests
was different. It wasn't tremendously different, but there were
definitely differing concepts and levels of importance were more
appropriate. Many of my classes wanted you to focus on a final
project or two... the idea behind that being that all of the knowledge
you will acquire will more than likely be used at one point for
something big in your life. But they didn't limit you to only the
things you could remember. You had free access to everything that
could help you along. All you had to do was put the time and effort
into deciphering the knowledge and making it work.

I look forward to graduate school because tests start to fade more and
more away... and in it's place are thesis projects and dissertations.
Yeah, they may be more expansive... but that's when you really learn
to think and not just regurgitate some knowledge.

I think high school seriously needs reform. (Especially Bethel). I
came away from it with good friendships and bonds... but if I hadn't
taken it upon myself to pretty much systematically ignore the basic
doctrines of that school, I would probably be at "Jack in the Box"
right now seeking a career. (Just as a note, I don't look down on
people who work there or anywhere else when they are using it as a
stepping stone toward a greater potential). Not everyone can
automatically do that... I was probably only able to do it because I
was an often dissatisfied-with-my-current-situation type of person.

Bah.

High School.

It was fun. I did a lot of crazy shit, things you're never supposed to get away with.


Then again, it sucked, for the reasons jEFF mentioned: The fact that the entire primary and secondary education system in this country is only working to further the bullshit sociopolitical situation it has helped create. It squashes true creativity in an attempt to make life easier for the drastically underpaid minions we refer to as "educators." Creativity on the part of students and teachers, that is.

Not to mention the painfully backward caste structure where athletically talented douchebags get lifted up and presented as gods because they can lift heavy objects or run faster than others. Anybody that attempts to be an individual is automatically branded as an outcast, unless of course they join the football team, where they are lauded as a stunning example of a truly great person.

Fuckers.

Forget that. Move on, and join the real world. Things change drastically once you're faced with the fact that your ability to smack the shit out of a leather covered ball isn't likely going to put food on the table or a roof over your head.

Of course, some (many) of these same dimwits go to college on someone else's dime (most likely taxpayers like me) and don't grow out of the high school mindset for another four (or more) years.


It's sad, really, how many people peak in high school. The world has so much more to offer. Then again, someone has to work at Les Schwab changing fucking tires. It sure as hell isn't going to be me. The sad thing is: the people who should be working menial jobs are now getting a ride into college because of the flawed educational system. These assholes are getting degrees in god knows what (they don't) and are now running the fucking world, still holding on to the powerlust and greed they gained as teenagers.

For me, high school was just the start. I didn't know it then, and have no clue now where it is I'm going - but I'm damn sure that high school wasn't the apex.

The fact that I'm sitting where I am writing this is proof enough of that. The people that are here with me right now (Pino Signoretto! - still can't believe that shit) are certainly helping me along in my journey. Seeing that it continues, actually. Where it ends - and what lies along the path - don't really matter right now.


Hmmm, maybe I've been up here too long....

"Beyond Bethel"

"Beyond Bethel"

---

For me... I wouldn't say that life at Bethel, or during that general
chunk of time, was the best time of my life... not to say that it was
insignificant, because it wasn't...

But that's where I will draw the line.

The reason I don't consider school, high school, to be the best time
in my life is because it really wasn't. It sucked. I was surrounded
by assholes in my grade and subsequent grades. I was in an
institution that worked it's ass off to crush creativity and promote
conventionalism and worked it's best (though definitely not to par
with other schools) to churn out the prototype lawyers and doctors and
teachers that would further the current standard.

And I hated it because it seemed like everyone played along.

Well, except for you people... which is what makes that time in my
life as significant.

No... at least for me, the best time in my life (so far) has been
college. I would gladly go over and over to college... though I would
want to see what graduate school is like before I completely commit to
that claim. (I've heard glorious tales of graduate school that make
undergrad seem... trite.)

I honestly feel that for the most part, those who claim that high
school was the best time of their lives tended to be the preps and
jocks... the ones who ended up working at the Burger King down the
street years later (or if you were a girl-prep then the ones who ended
up working at Fox's year's later). Getting stuck in that "high school
was the best time in my life" mentality will inevitably only slow a
person down and make them long for something that really wasn't all
that great in the first place.

If I had to choose between having the climax of my life at sixteen to
eighteen, as opposed to later (where I would have more opportunity to
really enjoy it/exploit it), I would choose later.

The only other reason people think high school was the best time in
their lives was because it worked to create and churn out
friendships... but if one really wanted, they could take that upon
themselves. That's why, after all, we have such things as poker
nights, Jimmy day's, Zach-o days, and BBQ's at James'.

When I said that I longed for some of the old days, I was more trying
to convey that I think that's what people do no matter what they have
now. I think there is a sort of appeal to having nostalgia about the
past. I know that in some way, in the future I will look fondly at
now, no matter how much it sucks.

This is probably why stories of time travel and altering the past
still appeal to many, if not all at least once in their lives.

I lost my train of thought... so in the end... Mary Kay Letourneau was
released today... Mommas lock up yer little boys!

"The More I Post"

"The More I Post"

---

I've noticed a disturbing trend with this board and myself...

the more I post... the less others seem to...

Maybe that's just me... but it does kind of seem like it.

Then again, my posts haven't really had my trademark style... namely
making fun of Mr. Collins through a series of elaborate photo-posts.
That I apologize for... since I really haven't had the tools for that.

I also don't have the pictures capable of doing that right now... I
really need to head down there and see all of you fools again and take
pictures again.

I remember when I had the reputation for being the "archiver" of such things.

Then again, there are lots of things I remember that are no longer the case.

I wonder, at times, who else thinks of the past as much as I do. I
think it's one of my chronic conditions... I think of the past a lot.
I don't necessarily live in the past, or try to... but I do look upon
it longingly (there really is no reason for that either, as the past
sucked just as much as the past before that and I would look to that
past longingly as well... and I know that this NOW will be looked upon
somewhat longingly even though it's not particularly grand either).

I wonder if that means that I would choose to live in the past. I
don't think so though. That's what Andy does... or seems to. (Sorry
Andy, but it sort seems like that.) Then again, I think James sorta
does too (Sorry Collins). I mean they both still hate each other even
though it's been what... two years.

I guess that doesn't really say anything by itself. After all, I
still dislike David Sanders... (though honestly I think that's more
symbolic of something else).

What does say something is the constant barrage of text messages I get
from Mr. Collins quoting one or another of Andy's rather depressing or
seemingly self-loathing or emotional-longing away messages... and
sometimes in the middle of the night.

So maybe I'm not alone in this whole "looking favorably to the
past"... and maybe Mr. Collins and Mr. Wegener are more trapped in it
than they realize, or would care to admit. Maybe it's just true of
Mr. Collins, since I wonder how much time and energy Mr. Wegener puts
into keeping track of Mr. Collins' away messages... just as a thought.
Maybe...

Maybe I, Robot 2: Return to the Industrial Revolution, will be a
dramatic masterpiece.

I lost my sequence of thoughts a long, long time ago.

The Old Shirtless Man

"Meaningless Work"

---

Working at Hollywood Video... you tend to meet all sorts of people.
Some are rather cool, and you don't mind helping them, talking to
them... whatnot. Some are just there, and they come in, grab their
copy of "Paycheck" and walk out the door.

And then there are those groups of people that suck on so many levels
it makes you question why God decided he wanted to fill the people
with humans and not duck-billed platypi.

I would have preferred the duck-billed platypi myself.

Group 1: The "You Got Served" Crowd
These are those people who purposely rent the shittiest movies
around... purposely. They must know the are going to be bad, and yet
they rent them anyway... Now, I'm not trying to sound elitest when I
say this... these are simply those movies that EVERYBODY just
instinctively knows are not going to be good. We all have that
instinct... it's like our Spider-sense for movies. A little tingling
in the back of our collective heads that says, "This movie is going to
be the shittiest movie in existence... turn back now!". We all get
that with movies like 'The Core', 'MI:2', '2 Fast 2 Furious', and 'You
Got Served' (as well as it's sequel: 'You Got Served: Takin' It To The
Streets'.

Yet, these people have some genetic flaw in them that makes them push
past instinct to watch them. It would be one thing if they were
writing a report on shitty movies... or perhaps watching it, fully
knowing it will suck but wanting a cheap laugh anyway. No... there
are these people that watch 'You Got Served', and actually enjoying it
for its merit... as if it had merit.

Group 2: The Bitchy Wives Club
Ahh, these are a particular favorite of mine. These women come in,
and automatically you can tell they are not going to be pleasant
people to deal with. They have that 'fat-woman's scowl' printed
across their face that says, "Give me my popcorn and my Junior Mints
and movie and get the hell out of my way or I'll eat you!". They get
pissed whenever they can't find their movie, and even more pissed when
you help them find it because the fat on their face has obscurred the
viewing capabilities of their eyes. They are angry at the world
because they were once the hot cheerleaders who got saddled with kids
after doing the football team and they aren't pretty anymore. Instead
they've got kids running around the store pulling videos off the
shelves and sticking God-knows-what in their mouths, while asking to
get the latest copy of 'Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen'.

Group 3: The Frat-Guys Squad
Honestly, I don't have as much a problem with these guys as I do with
the other groups here... yeah they are annoying as fuck, and yeah they
don't like paying their late fees, but at least they tend to go about
it in a different manner. They tend to try and talk their way out of
anything, and for a moment it is fairly humorous, until you start to
smell a burning odor, and you realize that they are using all of their
reserve intellect to try to get out of a 3.79 late fee.

It's even worse for the female employees as they have to sit there and
listen to these guys try to flirt their way from a hundred dollar late
fee to a three dollar one.

Group 4: Old People With Checks
This group is by far one of the most tedious. Now, not all of them
use Checks still, but it kind of puts you in the right mindset...
which is anyone over the age of 45-50 who thinks that because they are
old, they are automatically right and don't have to be humble and can
demand that you do anything they want for them because they are old
and fought in the Great War... and wrote Checks for all their ammo
they bought.

I don't mind Old People. Some are funny, and have awesome stories...
but some... Ohhh some of them need to just skip the last few remaining
years of their life if they are going to make us all want to skip the
remaining years of our own.

Group 5: The Conglomerates
Finally you have those people that don't fit nicely into one group or
another, but instead decide to be multi-grouped pisser-offers. I'm
talking about the Old Gay Man Who Ruins Your Movie type. Or the
Bitchy Old Wife of an Ex-Frat Guy. Old the Stinky Possibly Homeless
Old Man Who Flirts With Thirteen Year Olds.

I can't stand them. I despise them. First for being pieces of crap.
Second for not fitting into the pre-designed categories I have made,
making me have to define a new category for them. Who do they think
they are? Listen to me Gay Man Who Ruins My Movies... if you ever
ruin another movie for me, I'll hijack you and drop you in the middle
of Redneck country... I'd like to see you rent a movie about young gay
boys out there in Greenville, Mississippi. I'm sure Richard M. Bergis
would help you out.

I don't mind gay people. Some of them are cool and funny, and not
just the lesbians. What I don't like is people ruining my movie,
hanging out around the store when we are trying to close and I want to
go home, and then acting offended when we want them to leave because
of our need for sleep.

Where was it written that simple part-time jobs like Hollywood Video
and Target had to have really shitty customers? Where? Why can't
they all be cool people?

Return of the Jimmy

"Return of the Jimmy"

---

I agree, by the way. We should do paintball again. I haven't done it
in over two years, I think... so I'm gonna suck, but that's okay,
because it's not like any of you will be pros either. Well, except
for maybe Steve, but that's cause that's what Steve does. Damn you
Steve for having that be what you do.

That's okay though... we can all still shoot Michael.

And I know I'm going to take flak for this, but I say we bring jOe,
and we play Paintball with him again. C'mon... I mean that's what's
classic. That's the way it was before Jimmy got all "I wanna join the
Air Force for the really good food" and left for Alaska. ALASKA.

By the way, I hate ALASKA... almost as much as I hate CALIFORNIA...
maybe more in some ways. Fuckin' Alaska seems to steal everything
from me.

I will kill you ALASKA. Do you hear me... I will kill you dead.

You and your precious ELK and OIL RESERVES.

Why the hell did we add ALASKA to the United States? At least we had
a reason for CALIFORNIA. We wanted their beaches and their gold...
but then they gave us the STDS and Mexicans.

DAMN YOU CALIFORNIA! You gave us Crystal! I will never forgive you for that.

I suppose the two are mutually evil. They are probably part of that
Axis of Evil.

Now, I know that typically an Axis of anything should be in threes,
and according to Bush, the Axis of Evil is something like Iraq, Iran
and North Korea...

But then again, it is Bush's Axis of Evil... so he probably
miscalculated and thinks there are more. I wouldn't be surprised.

In fact, there's an idea... I will trick Bush into thinking that
California has seceeded the Union and become a part of Iraq. I will
trick him into believing that Arnold is really a member of al-Qaida.
I bet he doesn't realize that Arnold is really Austrian.

If Kerry were elected, I wonder what the jokes would be like.
Clinton's era had pretty good jokes... Bush's has obviously. I
wonder... should Kerry be elected... what would his jokes be?

His wife was apparently the wife of the Heinz Ketchup guy - from what
I hear. That could be an opening. You know, along the lines of:
"Hehe, Kerry married Ketchup..."

Okay... not so funny - but you know jOe would laugh at it.

... then he'd eat Kerry's wife.

Email Approach to Blogging

Yeah, so I've decided to try this email-posting thing, so that I can
finally start reposting, and reporting all of my wonderful things to
you fine people. Such fine people.

Also... I have noticed that my cell phone as the ability to take
pictures and send them via email. So just imagine the posting
opportunities that presents me. I have tested it on a friend, and it
worked, once.

Since then no luck... but I'm gonna keep trying. Soon I will post
pictures of the annoying people that I see at Hollywood Video,
complete with story.

I have one now, but I have to determine how to correctly post it the
the site. I doubt simply attaching it to this email will do the
trick.

Gah, I need to probably buy webspace so I can start storing pictures
and posting them to the internet.

Hey Bradbury, you have a .Mac account... how versatile is it? Can I
access most of it's features off a PC, for when I'm at work? I
noticed the price on a .Mac account was fairly reasonable, especially
for the space given and all that - or at least I figured it was
reasonable. Let me know how accurate my assumption of this is.

For the time being, I'll just email James the picture and have him
post it if I cannot figure this out.

If it all works out, this may be the beginning of a whole new posting
era for me...

hehe, then again, I certainly have said that in the past... so much
so, that all of you are probably laughing and having nostalgia about a
certain... MEGApost...

I miss the glory days.

: J.paulino :

Make the fucking room stop, I want to get off.

Good morning.

Good night.

GO


WATCH


I,ROBOT.
 
anyone paying to see this movie, finding they dislike it, i will pay them the cost of the movie back.
 
anyone not viewing the movie on the principal that "its a disgrace to the books" - you are wrong.
 
anyone not viewing the movie on the principal that "will smith lol, independance day with robots" - you are wrong.
 
i saw a 12am showing of this.
i was severely impressed - and it has bumped shrek 2 off of my top summer movie.

Steve, the backlash from House of the Dead didn't go well, and the Resident Evil fans literally raised an uproar.

This will in no way appease Alone in the Dark fans, what-so-ever.

But oh ... the multiple ways in which I would ravish Tara Reid.

Mmm.

I'll probably go see this ( read download ) just so I have more live footage of Tara Reid to jerk off to at 3am.

The Chronicles of Ridiculous 98105-20060625-0959-6007

---

With regards to the Matrix and Pitch Black, I'm not necessarily surprised that everyone you knew couldn't wait for it to come out. But that's your sample population. Taking into account every group, and summing them into one standard global population, then I think what I said before still applies... The Matrix, and Pitch Black (more so Pitch Black), weren't as anticipated or expected. At the very least, not compared to their successors.

First of all, they were the first. Second, they set the stage for the successors. People wanted to see Chronicles because they saw Pitch Black. So you take the fan base and then add in new people who just simply say, "OOhhh, that looks coooooool." Same with Matrix.

Of course, the relationship can go in reverse. Working at Hollywood video, I was bombarded, and unfortunately still am, with the question, "Ooooh, do you have Pitch Black on DVD."

Fuckers. It's the same thing everytime. That or, "Shrek" or "Matrix Reloaded".

And of course, sequel's tending to suck goes back to my original hypothesis of Star Wars Hype. You hype up a movie, and it has no choice but to suck. I'm concerned the same will hold true for Spider-Man 2. On the other hand, when a movie is in that position, then it only comes out good if it truly was a good movie, so it's forced to stand on it's own merits and not just clever advertising. So who knows, that could be a good thing.

As for the French Revolution... I remember hearing that the King and Queen were hated. That was the one sparked off by hunger and famine, right? Isn't that were the Queen said, "Let them eat cake?"

Again, I'm not claiming to know that, but I swear that's what I remember.

Revolt 98105-20040624-1506-6005

---

They invented the Guillotine for it. Or at least that was the impression some of my history teachers gave me. Of course, they were from Bethel, so some of that information is circumspect I suppose.

Still, if they didn't invent the Guillotine for the Revolution, they certainly made it applicable for the Revolution.

But I do contest, the French Revolution didn't make as many ripples as say... the Soviet uprising. I'm not a history major, so I'm not all historied up. I wish I was, but I'm not. I should read up on that.

It is kinda interesting to note that as far as I can recollect, I hardly learned anything about the Soviet uprising and the start of communism in Russia. I mean, other than the basics. We learned much, much more about the French Revolution. My assumption: I was in school during those years that we would have learned about it, while under the veil of the Cold War. I guess nobody wanted to talk about Russian and the pros/cons of their history. That's my off-handed best guess, so who knows.

And Chronicles of Riddick: HAHAHAH FUCKERS... to all you who said, "ohh Pitch Black was so good..." I did watch Pitch Black, and yes, it was better than I had expected, but if any of you actually thought that Chronicles of Riddick was going to be good, you obviously hadn't learned your lessons with Star Wars and the prequels. Sequels, prequels, what-have-you... just tend not to go good.

Usually someone gets the idea that even bigger special effects are going to make it better. Not to mention... Pitch Black was good because nobody expected it to be. Matrix was good (in the eyes of the general populace, and compared to it's successors) because nobody expected it to be good and it was a no-name. Star Wars was good because it wasn't expected. Then what happens? "Ohh, I have a fanbase, and thus am guaranteed money and an audience. Let's CGI everything! People, plants... a moose in a room. Doesn't fit? Doesn't matter, Do it ANYWAY!"

I hate when captalism makes movies.

Quantum Fuckin' Awesome SEA-20040624-1228-6003

---

Recently I purchased Season ONE of the Quantum Leap Series... and I was reminded of how fuckin' spectacular that show was. Ahh... I remember the times when I'd sneak into the living room when I was supposed to be asleep and watch Quantum Leap. The best.

I mean who can argue that it wasn't an awesome show. I remember thinking how cool it would be to have a holo-imaging chamber of my own. And that little computer that Al always had. The precursor for today's PDA's. He was always smacking it around trying to get it to work.

Kinda like a Collins.

Anyway, that little trip down memory lane was spurred by the fact that as I was looking for release information for possible future series sets of the show, I found out that there are plans in the works for a Quantum Leap TV movie. Something possibly called: Quantum Leap: A Bold Leap Forward.

Normally I'd be against the idea of such a venture, because they are almost always doomed to failure... but still, it's Quantum Leap... and it's supposedly all the same writers and whatnot... and the same cast. So there's some promise... right? I just hope they don't go all George Lucas on us and CGI everything. I'll be fuckin' pissed if I see it, because it will be completely unnecessary. Just the same blue light.

Which reminds me, does anybody know if Family Guy ever spoofed Quantum Leap... i have a vague memory of that... but I'm not sure if I'm just making that up in my head.

Lastly, there is supposed to be a new Quantum Leap series coming into the works for SCI-FI. That disturbs me. Spinoffs are hardly successful, and sometimes, despite how much you like something, you should just let it stay in the past.

I rambled.

Oh, and with regards to the French Revolution... i don't remember the history entirely, but didn't that set the stage for changes in power throughout Europe for like the next hundred years? Usually the destabilization of a power such as that would cause such a ripple-effect. That was partially what the list was composed of. Each event had it's ripple effect considered. Though I suppose the Industrial Revolution probably had a bigger ripple than the French Revolution.

Here's something new for me to post...


Top 7 Historical Moments... SEA-20040623-1503-6002

---

1. Birth of Christianity/Crucifiction of Jesus Christ
   
2. Drafting of the Declaration of Independence
   
3. Start of the French Revolution
   
4. Bombing of Pearl Harbor
   
5. September 11th
   
6. Hiroshima & Nagasaki
   
7. Fall of the Berlin Wall
   

.You son of a bitch

.You stole my post

!I was going to have the 6000th post

.Now I have to settle with 6001

!Fuck you James

.Fuck you with a salty straw covered in syphillis

6 000TH POST

sup dudes, whats going on in this old blog?

Wow... it's been awhile, hasn't it?

But then again, that's what happens when you don't really have a computer at home, and you can only read the board, but not post anything.

At least, I haven't decided to risk really posting anything at work... since work is a government hospital... and James can sometimes be... flammable.

A few updates, that really aren't updates because you probably all know of them already:

I got that job at the VA and I've been working their for a month... it's not too bad, work-wise, but it is a bit dull sometimes. That's the problem when you start at a new place and everyone has to assume that you are mentally handicapped. Makes sense... you wouldn't want to overwhelm a new person. Unfortunately for me, I like the feeling of being overwhelmed...

... maybe like isn't the right word. Used to

I'm also still working at Hollywood Video. Why? Well because I purposely don't want a life...

Actually, that's just cause I want to build up a store of money, and then go nuts one day. Wouldn't that be grand?

Lastly, for the moment, I'm planning to do something... though I don't know what yet... but it will be good. And big. And no, this isn't like the MegaPost. This is actually be substantive.

But now I must go... VA is paying for me to take classes so i have to go to them.

Excellent.

Few things to say quick-like here, then I have to get back to it:

1) My return: Not until August 16th now, and I return to work on August 17th. Luckily, I'll be back a few times between now and then. Looks like July 3/4 maybe, not sure yet. One other weekend I'll be back and that's it.


2) Summer break: I'm a 180-day per year employee now, so I get summers off. This summer, it worked out that I'll be up here at Pilchuck from the day after I'm done for the summer, until the day before I return. With only two breaks.

3) Pilchuck: Guess what? A year later, this place still rocks. Being here all summer rocks even more. I'll be testing the load capacity of my car when I return; I'm getting a lot of really cool stuff made so far. After this session is over, I'm free to do whatever the hell I want for almost two months. I'm the "librarian" from July 5 until August 16, which means I'll have nothing to do but make art all day. Bad-fucking-ass.


So, now I have to get back to it. There's a fire pit, fixin's for s'mores and two kegs waiting for my return.

Ciao.

Meet Wally, the last dinosaur on Earth.
Wally is a sad, sad dino.



Will you be Wally's friend?
Click on Wally to be Wally's friend.

^__________________^

laffo, cross posted.

I'm a free man now.

No work until August 17th.

Damn, does it feel good.

. . .I may be a whore, but even I have standards. I would strongly admonish those of you who are out to create a good story to remember which of you are beneath them.

Boy, did we miss out on a good game yesterday:

Ronnie!!!

Thus proving that The Stranger really does kick ass.

Spiderman262626: so do you still talk to aaron?
zak p o w: yeah
Spiderman262626: does he ever go online anymore?
zak p o w: yeah
Spiderman262626: do you have his screen name?
zak p o w: self denihil i believe he comes on late though
Spiderman262626: that's fine
zak p o w: check the board you should be able to get to him through there
Spiderman262626: i'm making an effort to get back in touch with friends that i have left behind
zak p o w: whats your email address i'll add you to the board again, if you'd like
Spiderman262626: the one I check most often is Joshua.Velock@beale.af.mil
Spiderman262626: and my home address is snowboy26@earthlink.net
zak p o w: so what do you want me to send it to
Spiderman262626: the first one
zak p o w: done.

yes...
at least we'll have someone in the military posting.
( cough ) ah hem ( cough )

First and foremost let me address that which I won't address : bonnie-drama.

I mean c'mon, she's a woman. Asking for women not to be dramautic is like asking shit not to attract flies. It just ain't going to happen. So, like all women-related drama, if you just ignore it - it will go away and eventually the woman will cave in on herself and everything will be fine and dandy.

Its almost formulaic.

And now something of much greater importance.
Lets talk about Eggo Waffles.

These things suck. I do not, for the life of me, understand the appeal of frozen waffles which taste like shit unless you cake tons of butter and syrup onto them. Why do people buy these things? They have absolutely no flavour - not even the ZOMG!! BLUEBERRIES have flavour. It is the equivilant of eating paper. The only thing that makes them even remotely taste like anything to do with breakfast food is the aforementioned butter and syrup which you have to literally dump onto it.

They are the ricecrackers of breakfast food. They might as well be made of tofu for all I give a shit.
Eggos are for homosexuals and losers who can't fucking make pancakes or krepes for themselves.

Fuck "let go of my eggo" - more like "oh no, its an eggo"

Not so much that I don't have anything to say. Just - not sure what to say.

Aside from: Thank you. It's nice to be appreciate.

Something I hear a lot at work, but very few do I believe actually mean it. The rest are just stroking my ego to assure that I keep fixing their stuff. What can I say, I'm a whore.

But seriously, thanks.

[This is the part where I reciprocate the feeling. Trouble is, no matter what I try to say, I'll screw it up. Just know I would have made an attempt, if I wasn't sure I would have made an ass out of myself in the process. Something I need no help with, I assure you.]

Wow...

It's fairly rare that anyone (especially a woman) says anything that nice about me without it reeking of sarcasm.

Unless that was sarcastic...?

And, to the best of my recollection, I've never said anything bad about you. I did, however, think that you didn't much like me...

Of course, my recollection can be a bit hazy at times.

That was sarcastic, wasn't it?

Eh, either way. I'll take it however I can get it.

It's not dying, dammit.

Just ... wax and wane. Ebb, flow.

Whatever.

Mind you, this is worse than the others have been.

We need fresh blood.

...


Of course, you could also make the case that LiveJournal has not done it any favors, either. Now I'm guilty as well.


Any way you look at it, we need to mix things up a little, or it will die.

Sunny D? Are you fucking insane? Sunny Delight makes The absolute bar-none worst screw drivers I've ever had in my entire life. Low or no pulp orange-juice for sure. Otherwise it's just like fucking slime and vodka. I'd say go both vanilla and regular - as we can split it between those who do enjoy faggot drinks ( vanilla lol ) and those who are good with real man drinks ( vodka and oj ) - but sunny delight? jesus christ.

as steven said : " it looks like the board is coming to it's natural end "

im going to fix that right up.
i've spent much too much time and money on this ship of fools - and with 5000+ posts and counting?
it isn't sinking just yet.

yargh.

A question, to my fellow slugs:

Do we want regular screwdrivers, or regular screwdrivers and vanilla screwdrivers.

Another question:

What time? Ten worked last time...

I've given in. I started it briefly some time ago. Never got far.

Guess that means I will be talking to myself online. Meh, oh well.

Aaron - could you pick up a quart of half & half at the store? Unless you want me to get some, and leave it in the truck for four hours in the heat while I'm in class. But, I don't think cottage cheese mixes very well.

Actually, maybe you should get a half gallon. Since I got a fifth of Absolut and a pint of Kahlua, we might want more.

...

This is like the "Blog of Bradbury" now. Some of you other fucks need to join in once in a while. I talk to myself enough in the real world, last thing I need is to start doing it online.

Well, the centerpieces for my brother's wedding are done. Quite good. Jim does damn good work. Cut me a hell of a deal, too. I'll have to post pictures once I get them all unpacked.


I almost went "boing" when I handed the gal that works for Jim the check. Not sure why. It's not going to bounce. Good thing I didn't, that might not have gone over very well. Don't know her well enough to joke about that kind of thing.

---

So, Zach-O, when the hell are you coming up here again?

Been too long.

...Not that you'll get any of us to pay for it.

Especially after you ditched me the last time. Bastard. Even Kayla was pissed at you. Heh, good stuff.

Well, maybe jEFF will. I think he's the only one that hasn't paid for your lousy ass thus far.



Anyway....Yeah. Gotta get to the liquor store some time in the next couple days. Good stuff.

They're re-doing, with Denzel Washington, "The Manchurian Candidate."

Too bad John Frankenheimer isn't around to do it himself. For that matter, too bad John Frankenheimer isn't around anymore.

[Four separate links in that one, by the way]

Gotta love it when you spend two hours on something.

Think you're done.

Only to realize you skipped one very small, but very important, step.


And you have to do it all over again. Because you've now made a bunch of equipment completely useless.

---

But, that's okay.

When I look up to the calendar, or the running count I have posted next to it, I have only ten days left. Ten days.

Then, I don't return until August 17th. But, I still get paychecks.

Got a new project on the way: '63 Falcon Futura (mine, of course, is much more thrashed than these)

Not sure exactly what the hell I'm going to do with/to it. But, the price is right, and it needs a shit load of body and other such work before it gets time to decide. In other words, next summer it'll get the billy-badass V8.

Now I have somthing to do all summer.

Son of a bitch.

Mr. Golightly, I presume?

It's no so much who has left, but who amongst us has been stupid enough to come back. I, for one, am included in the latter group.

First off...

Wow, what the hell happened to the whole blogger interface? It's all... different.

Oh well, no matter. Anyway, I'm just writing from work... I started yesterday, which was filled with a day long orientation. A DAY long! But otherwise it wasn't too bad.

They had donuts. Yummmm.... donuts.

Now I would be working, but both people I would be working for have the day off, which means I have the day off... so I thought I'd write a little something here, since I haven't had the time or chance to post in awhile.

But now I guess I will go and try to decide what sort of long term health plan I need to have.

Seriously. What happened to all of us when the biggest decision we had to make was whether or not to take James with us to the PX? Being told that you have to decide whether or not you want to have part of your paycheck sent to basic life insurance really, really makes you feel old. I'm only 23 damnit!

Oh well, I'll forget all about that when I get paid on the 4th.

http://www.fasco-cs.com/works/viridian/index_e.html

crimson room 2. i beat it in 20minutes.
you can pay for the next room. laffo.

test.

fucking blogger.

hee hee, i knew if i waited long enough comments would be easy to acquire.

Clickety

I'm still wondering what the definition of "un-American" or "Anti-American" is exactly.

Specifically when applied to an act of free speech. By an american citizen.

Ranks right up there with the old "just go back to Africa" argument.

Things that make you go "hmmm..." or perhaps "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!?"

Yeah, I had forgotten Junior...

The last time I saw it though, I was still in middle school, and I wasn't really even paying attention to it.

I actually thought Eraser wasn't too bad, it wasn't great, but it wasn't too bad, so it didn't make the cut for me, either way. The Running Man... it wasn't extremely bad or good, so I couldn't decide, but I was considering it.

Terminator III made the list, just barely, for worst Arnold flicks because it was a Terminator movie, but lacked a certain Terminator quality that made the other Terminator's great. By a movie itself, it was actually pretty good for an action flick. It was certainly better than Collateral Damage, but with Collateral Damage, it wasn't supposed to be anything more than what it was. I had certain expectations for Terminator III that weren't completely fulfilled.

Well, I saw "Collateral Damage" yesterday...

which means I think I've seen all of the Arnold Swartzeneggar flicks, except for maybe three that I'm not thinking about...

Either way, I think I've seen enough to make a preliminary top five list of the best Swartzeneggar flicks made, that I can remember and have seen (for all those of you who are undoubtedly about to get all pissy that i forgot one in the list).

And this list goes as:

1. Terminator II


2. Predator


3. Terminator I


4. Total Recall


5. Twins

And the top five list for the worst Arnold flicks ever, from Core-level to "not so bad I suppose":

1. End of Days


2. The 6th Day


3. Batman and Robin


4. Jingle All The Way


5. Terminator III

Yeeup, End of Days was my pick as the all-time horrible Arnold Swartzenegger movie, of the ones that I can remember seeing, mind you.

That might work... I'm spoken for on the 15th (during the day) otherwise it's all good.

Ran into Mr. and Mrs. Collins today. Good stuff. Didn't know you were in Cali.

Hey, Steve, give me a call.

wanna do something 14/15/16 like a big party/barbeque/camping thing when i get back?

thats what im asking people.
i know its difficult for aaron because he works them days.
i wont be able to get 'confirmation' from people until like the 12th, when i get back.

basically it'll be a " dude you guys rule " party.
after staying in california and realising that you guys just are awesome.

i have a spatula and a fresh memory of what to get for a barbeque from jimmoi's quick-impromptu-barbeque.

please post here/tagboard if you're interested and/or could make it,
if not just an apperance. so i can thank you for being you.

I saw that trailer too Bradbury...

When it comes to movies that are adaptations of books, or just remakes of books, I don't even bother to view the movie as an adaptation. Most of the time they aren't anyway, so there's no point in it.

In the case of "I, Robot", I'm just gonna watch it as a movie about robots and Will Smith gettin' Jiggy wit' dem. That's it. It's not an adaptation. That's my mantra. That should increase the viewing acceptibility of the film by a bit. Provided that the film, by itself and not as an adaptation, is actually entertaining.

And for Martain Chronicles, I was thinking Jackie Chan. He's the more likable martial artist... at least he's more Americanized than Jet Li.

What's next?

"The Martian Chronicles" with Jet Li?

What. The. Fuck.

Just watched the "I, Robot" trailer. Man, are they fucking that up. Aaron, I was seriously hoping that you were just fucking with me. Now, I have to read it again, just so I can see exactly how bad they're fucking it up.

Damn. I don't mean to say it looks like a bad movie, but that's sure as hell not how I remember the story.