2002
minus
1981
equals
21

not only is one more year down the drain -
but my age changes as well.
go figure.

'ello govnah.

that had nothing to do with anything. this sickness is starting to kick in again - this " I wish I was worse off than I am now, therefore giving me some sort of direction " - and what was immediately at thought was alcoholism. I want to be an alcoholic now, but rarely can stand the taste ( or kick ) of alcohol. Then I could be a heroine addict. I've heard so many stories of people " coming off of heroine " by being locked into rooms and going through withdrawals - you can see this also featured in the film trainspotting - and hey : that movie was good. It would be great. It would give me something to fight. Oh... wow... it is crazy how one can be.

I might write a story coming up soon. It has something to do with a stray cat - but I dont exactly know what. It will be a grey cat. One once said that my poetry and essays really sucked ass - but my stories were sometimes good. I resented that. I prefer when people say my scribblings are sub-par. It makes me feel better, because wherein they dont like what I write - I take a large quantity of joy in - so they cannot share in the experience and feelings that I have - but when they go and do things like ... enjoy my scribblings - then I think they're up to something. They're out to make me think they enjoy what I write merely so they can get some sort of leverage on me.

What happened to pantera? They were awesome, and they continue to be - but what happened to them. I remember there used to be some sort of small following with them - and all of this " new metal " - being linkin park and system of a down and so-on and so-on, I just realised that pantera had been doing those things long before - and so ... where is the big pantera hype? And what happened to Lisa Simpson being the melodramatic blues-singing sax-playing semi-intelligent hipster that she used to be? ah...

Life seems to burn a hole into your pocket. Making everything you place there fall through and then land onto your foot. Somehow - someday, you end up kicking it off.

then the fun begins.

a couple of things.

1- GTA 3 is too much fun. too much fun.

2- Metal Gear Solid 2 is fun, although short - and much too many scripted sequences versus playing.

yes.
PS2.
fun.
much.

oh yes.... so does the other neet chicabee on this now vegitative board....

you know what James/other nutty perverts.... I now have a picture of two hot blonde Swedish lesbians making out... HAHAHAAAAAAAAAA :p

Hmmm. I want to talk about sheep. I love sheep, but in a strictly platonic manner. Yes. That's it. I wish I was Little Bo Peep, but only after she found them there sheep. I'd be a forlorn cattle while my sheep were gone. I'd cry. a lot.

You know what the best thing about sheep is? The way they baa all the time. It's so cute. It makes me want to take them all home with me to be my special pets and also friends. Sheep rule.

On a not-sheep-related note, I found out that MerryBoat's gpa and SATs were lower than mine. I hope this means I can get into UW relatively easily. Yeah, buddy.

I wish sheep came in as many colors as sweaters do.

hello again.... there is something to be said considering all that has happened, but then I think, why should I share that? It doesn't matter to anyone else but me and a few other indviduals here over seas, so forget that. To long of a tale anyway.... LOL. So are all the BHS people enjoying their break? I know I have enjoyed mine. I don't have to got back to school till January 8th.... awhhh the bliss of that. Lay back and do what I please for 3 whole weeks. :)

It's still snowing.... We've got about a foot and a half of it now. I'm glad it's gone back to the big fluffy ones again... those are my favorite. My psyco snowman is starting to look like some sort of weird marshmellow with all that excess snow on him. LOL.... well this is me saying hej då again.... I'm going out with some friends for a bit. Oh yay.... hehehe... buh bye :)

GOD JUL ALLT DU

A few words after a froidy without jimmoi ... but with someone that we are all glad to see again..

what was my best christmas presant this year ?.. It came early on the faces of my friends, the faces of people that I will never forget... It came with a smile and a hot cup of coffee.. It came and said "dude when do you get off work ?" .. but seriously .. The best gift I could have ever asked for was never wrapped by elves or carried in a magic sled.. there weren't any deer ticks to be found for miles, or any fat guys hopped up on magic dust... Just a few familiar faces, a few familiar smiles.. A hug, a smoke and a few laughes. The best presant under my tree took a year of constant effort. The best presant comes in the memmories I share with each of you of the times we spent together laughing and enjoying life. The times we had to comfort one another when we were hurting. Some of you I have known forever, and some are rather new.. but all the same it doesn't matter, because we shared a bit of our lives together. I can't think of a better gift in life than having spent the last year with you guys...

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year... It will not be our last......... Mike Rigney

it seems the comment system left,
and then came back.
dont know why.
augh. long day today.

expect updates.
something.
funny. hah.

2. _l_o_o_s_e__s_l_u_g_s___.:::ó ••
Saturday, December 16 whell, in not gonna debate on this cus you know i cant type after i come home from wurk, and i have artirithus and my mom is cheep ...
... is kept in James Collin's basement, along with his collection of Sawatzki and Devlin pictures. These episodes are more "adult" then the rest of the ...
... by post'rs of mr swatzski and devlin (his skewl teachers) and proceeded to masterbate to there believed presenc'. -mmmm, devlin, you make me so hot, ...
51% Sun, 02 Dec 2001 00:06:47 GMT http://loose-slugs.com/archives/2000_12_10_archive.html

I would like to know what this is about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously!!!!!!!!!!!

Never mind, just eliminate me from the board. I don't need to read obscene things about myself.

Wendell G. Henry

Born on Jan. 23, 1981 in Puyallup, WA and passed away on Dec. 16, 2001 in Graham, WA. He was a student at Pierce College, and is survived by his father Glen Henry, mother Colleen (Richard) Landry, sisters Fawn (Virgil) Davis, Kathryn Henry, 2 nieces and 1 nephew. A memorial service will be held at Powers Funeral Home in Puyallup on Friday at 11:00am, and a grave- side service will follow at Woodbine Cemetery.

I miss Wendell. I am furious that the school has not acknowledged his death. Today I gave Mr. Hammond a note asking that he do something, at least tell the teachers because I found out from a student. I hope some of you who knew Wendell can come to the funeral.

I wish there was something that I could say to tell about what a loss his death is but words fail me. He was a kind, sensitive, funny person. Knowing Wendell made me a better person.

Who the hell are all these people? This is why I stopped coming, cause all these people just keep coming and going. Its not the same...

remember...all good children go to heaven

. . .

wow! ( just so there's two posts instead of just one )

oh.
and I was talking to my father and he was complaining about EQ and how that he has had the account for two years and " didnt want to lose it " and I yelled at him - saying it was just a fucking game and he didnt have to put so much effort into it - and he said that he didnt have much of anything else to put his time/effort into.

this is because he is white.
but he did have something.
he had his children - but didnt find them interesting.
never has - dont think he ever will.
I laughed when I came to that conclusion later on.

My family is " broke " this christmas.
I have more monetary suppliments than they do.
So I'm going to " pep up " our celebration this year with a surprise.
hopefully it will get everyone up and at-them.

is anyone up for going to Shari's - or some other " get-to-gether " occasion ( possibly even at my house / kind of like the barbeque only not ) on christmas eve? no need for presents - being here itself would be enough. my grandparents and calvin will be present, although much like thanksgiving we can just ignore them. ah hah. we could play my newly acquire games. I dont know - if you're interested in stopping by - just email me ( notmud@loose-slugs.com ) or call if you have the number. I'd like that. I dont know.

two posts and a whole lot of wasted time.

Where did she go?
I don't quite remember,
Why did she leave?
I don't exactly recall.

I was thinking about writing a song about " Im dumb, white, and got nothing to do with my life "
most of the time I think that I'd have an easier life had I been black.
Then I'd dedicate my life to " FUCK WHITEY " or " THE MAN IS KEEPING ME DOWN " or " THOSE BE MAH NIGGERS "
or then some of the time I think that I'd have had it easier if I were a woman.
And then I would dedicate my life to " WOMEN CAN HAVE SEXUAL FREEDOM " or " DONT OPPRESS ME WITH YOUR PENIS "
but neither of these things apply to me.
I am white. And I have no heritage to speak of. And here I sit. I work at a box factory.
It isnt all that bad - then again - it is quite bleak.
Then what if I were Filipino? I'd dedicate my life to " ISLAND PRIDE " and " WE-S GOT-S TO-S STICK-S TOGETHER(S) "
Being white just seems to be the scape-goat now-a-days.
We are the " lost ones " - nowhere to go and nothing to do about it much anyway.

On the radio this morning I heard that you shouldnt eat bacon.
It might cause cancer.
Oh well.
The second thing you shouldnt eat was aspertane. I dont believe I eat that anyway ( nutrasweet ) - being it tastes like shit.
Then you shouldnt eat margarine.
If you want to know more things you shouldnt eat - try 1 800 592 HEAL
or at least thats what I believe the number was.

I've been thinking about myself - who I have "become" a lot lately.
and I realise I've begun to actually " care " about things. To be ... ah - I use to say it was " human "
Now I just think, as I have always thunk ( ah hah ) - that it is stupid.
I was overly-concerned about bonnie and her boyfriend / and whether I had actually offended the two of them.
Had I been me - instead of being concerned I would just dig myself deeper and laugh all the way down.
I was overly-concerned about bradbury and his seemingly disavowing of those I know, and the board itself.
Had I been me - instead of wanting to email him and see what the problem was - I would not give a shit.
I was overly-concerned about heather and her seemingly " Im sick for james but not for anyone else "
Had I been me - instead of thinking she was avoiding me I'd just not give a shit and continue living my life.
I was overly-concerned about if I was getting " assistant pay " at work - a whopping 15$ instead of the 13$ I get.
Had I been me - instead of concerning myself with fucking money I'd not care. Happy I have a job at all.
and finally -
I was overly-concerned about being overly-concerned about things.
This, I have realised, may be a sign of " chronic stress " - or some other bothersome diagnosis I could take drugs for.
I figured this from a radio commercial that ' more-than-spoke ' to me about stress, and worry.
It pegged me - and then it began to talk about how I could " get better " and " be better " and " not worry so much "
( being that if I took drug so-and-so and dont care about rectal bleeding, violent vomiting, or explosive flatulence )
and I laughed.
I dont want to " get better " and I dont want to " be better "
In fact - the more I think about it,
it seems I was trying to be normal.
to fit in.

fuck that.
fuck caring.
fuck the whole lot of it.

I want to call Rachael and set up a date with her this friday.
but I havent the proverbial balls to go and do so.
I know this is something I'd enjoy putting myself through.
being the masochist that I am.

... you know.
I think I'm just getting burnt out.

Finally, something other than smiley faces ...

Perfect breasts
(o)(o)

Fake silicone breasts
( + )( + )

Perky breasts
(*)(*)

Big nipple breasts
(@)(@)

A cups
o o

D cups
{ O }{ O }

Wonder bra breasts
(oYo)

Cold breasts
( ^ )( ^ )

Lopsided breasts
(o)(O)

Pierced Breasts
(Q)(O)

Hanging Tassels Breasts
(p)(p)

Grandma's Breasts
\ o /\ o /

Against The Shower Door Breasts
( )( )

Android Breasts
| o | | o |

Martha Stewart's Breasts
($)($)

And God created woman, and she had three breasts.
He then asked the woman,"Is there anything you'd like to have changed?"
She replied, "Yes, could get rid of this middle breast?"
And so it was done, and it was good.
Then the woman exclaimed as she was holding the third breast in her hand...
"What can be done with this useless boob?" And God created man. :)

Until today I thought the hardest person to Christmas shop for was my father, I was wrong. I spent three hours in the mall today wondering about a Christmas gift for the bastard I've known longest - James. I hate you James - you're almost impossible to buy shit for. However, after some thought and remembering of 'old times' I found something.

Ever had a drive through experience from hell ? I'm certain you have. Today I was thrown into another one. Driving home from the mall I had the urge for some Taco Bell tacos. The only Taco Bell I knew of was on Pacific Ave. so I made my way there - Hold! Break! Turn right! I spotted a KFC / Taco Bell by Fred Meyers ( however you spell Meyers. ) I turned into the drive through and sat there. Yes I sat in line for 30minutes just to place my damn order. Thirty Minutes! Getting my order was at least another ten minutes. Grandmothers eat jello and play bingo faster than I got my food!

I'm going to watch Titanic now. It's the second part, the first was shown yesterday ( I didnt watch that one ). Today however - she sinks! DeCraprio dies and that extra falls, smacks his head on a railing entertaining me with a loud "Pop" sound. Fun!

Although, I should say - a rather well made movie, very nice ship ( if only by looks not design ), I also wish I had a nude sketch like the one shown. Better yet, I wish I could sketch like that so I wouldn't be stuck with my landscape drawings.

I would only like to say two thing in response to your responce:
First- you call yourself a republican? I would like to ask that in the name of a true republican light you start calling yourself a democrat because that is what you are.
Second- May God have mercy on your soul, and pity on your heart.

Next time you start complaining about how the world is going to hell in a handbasket, take a look at the rhetoric you support.

. . .

*You have now been put on my block list*

Sometimes, it's all I can do to not laugh at these people

Happy Holidays, Folks!

So there's this song out on the radio right now - something called Momma's getting ready for Christmas or some such nonsense - and I know the feeling. I don't know if any of you have heard it, but its more or less about this looney toon woman who goes all nutso for Christmas, much to the inconvenience of her relatives, and it makes me realize that I know that woman.

Were there ever an award for 'Twisted Christmas', I am quite certain my family would have won it many times. It not so much that we have odd traditions - more that we've taken some of the 'normal' ones to extreme. We bake cookies and make candy - only so much so that we're lacking in places to keep it. We have a tree - or three, as we've gathered too many ornaments over the years to put them only on one. My father puts up Christmas lights - nothing beats the 'last Friday in November' tradition of calling 911 as he, again, falls off the roof. We even sing Christmas carols - though most of them are of a unique design.

I'm joining the likes of those who hate children, chocolate, and ice cream - people whose aversions often set them against the crowd - in that I don't think I care for Christmas. Even when the idea behind it has depressed me, even when the commercialization of that idea has gotten to me, it's never been like this.

This year, my father and sister put up a tree - and that was all that was done. There was no stressful weekend where we hurriedly attempt to unpack decades worth of Christmas collectibles. There are no inappropriate songs about a hated neighbor and what Santa and her are up to. Our cookie jars stand empty - no one's bothered making the hundreds of cookies it takes to fill them all up. There's nothing hung by the chimney with care - my father's not harassing neighborhood children dressed as St Nick. and I can tell you, at least one of us is in no mood for Christmas without mom.

I have the day off... anyone going to get coffee/whatever tonight ought to stop over here and give me a lift........ Got paid yesterday :)

obsession...

In talking to some people,
and finding another version :
these were left out :

You had a Big-Wheel.
D.A.R.E.
EXCELLENT!
You remember the original "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and thought it was funny.
You remember "Where's the Beef?" ( AH HAHAHAHA )
You wondered what a gigawatt was.
David Bowie scared you in Labryinth
You learned how to fake being sick from Ferris Bueller
When you grew up you wanted a car as cool as Nightrider's.
Love and marriage, Love and marriage, goes together like a horse and carriage.
The power rangers are just Voltron rip-offs.

ah ... dood.
im all hopped up on 80s now.

dig it.
It's the " Eighties Child Checklist "
funny funny.
but you'll notice my answers arent there.
and I dont want to see your answers either.
the questions themselves are funny.
hahahaah.

You solved the Rubix cube by peeling off the stickers.
You watched the Pound Puppies.
You can sing the rap to "the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."

( mud note : on the website I found this on, they " giggled " and said " yeup " - in fact, they did it on a lot - an OBVIOUS INDICATOR THAT THEY DONT FUCKING REMEMBER. - in fact - they probably dont even know what SUMMERTIME is - or that FRESH PRINCE was an actual " band " - DOOOD. - oh - and to " prove " that Im no lamer :

Now this is a story all about how,
my life got flipped - turned upside down,
and i'd like to take a minute ( just sit right there )
and ill tell you how I became the prince of a town called bel-air

In west-phlidelphia ( born and raised )
on a playground is where I spent most of my days,
chllin out, maxin, relaxin all cool
and shootin some b-ball outside the school

- Im sure YOU, because YOU ARE NO LAMER, know the rest. )

You know what 'Whoa' means from Blossom.
Three words: M.C. Hammer.
You thought it would be great to have a friend named "Boner."
You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales."

( mud note: again - she giggled, unlike us LEET PEOPLE who can actually SING A LONG. ah hah. I wont be redundant and type it out thou. You know you know, you know )

If you played The Chipmunks Christmas album all year long!
The Crypt Keeper really freaked you out.
You remember reading Kool-Aid man comics.
You watched Fraggle Rock.
You had plastic streamers on the handlebars of your bike.
Your remember when getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons was worth your time.
You know what a " rat-tail " is.
You saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen. YES
You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

(mud note: DOOOD. )

You made your Mom buy you one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
You played the game "Mash" with friends at school.
You wore a Jordache jean jacket and you were proud of it.
L.A. GEAR.
Garbage Pail Kids.
You remember reading "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" and all the Ramona books.
You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off."
You wanted to be a Goonie.
You ever wore fluorescent, neon if you will, clothing.
You wanted to be on Star Search.
You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
You took Lunch pails to school.
You remember the craze, and then banning, of slap bracelets.
You still get the urge to use "NOT" at the end of every statement you make.
You remember Hypercolor T-shirts.
You remember Punky Brewster.
You loved Howard the duck.

(mud note: DOOOD. )

You thought Sheera and He-Man should hook up.
You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged "friendship bracelets."
You ever owned a pair of Jelly Shoes.
After you saw Peewee's Big Adventure, you couldn't stop saying "I know you are but what am I?"
You remember "I've fallen...and I can't get up!"
You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
You ever got seriously injured on a slip and slide.
You know not to mix poprocks and soda.
You have played with a 'skip-it.'
You had or went to a birthday party at McDonald's.
If you've ever wanted to go to Degrassi High.
You ever sat on or used one knee on a skateboard.
You learned oldies songs by watching Alvin and the Chipmunks.
You had a Glow Worm or watched the cartoons.
If you remember Heathcliff...
You saw the California Raisins Christmas claymation special.
You remember Popples.
DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY!

(mud note : the lady i stole this from actually didnt know this. If you dont know this - and you consider yourself " raised in the eighties " - fuck you, poser. ah hahaha.)

MISS MARY MACK MACK MACK ALL DRESSED IN BLACK, BLACK, BLACK.....all together now!
You remember boom boxes instead of CD players.
You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.
You remember the gimp fad
You remember the Transformers.
You knew what it meant to say: "Care bear stare!!" and you had a favorite.
You remember Rainbow Brite and My Little Pony Tales and how stupid they were.
You remember watching TV wanting to be as smart as Doogie Howser.
You remember Alf, the little furry brown alien from Malmac.
You remember Vicky the Robot.
You remember Eve Garland from Out of this World and how she could stop time by pressing the tips of her index fingers together and talking to her dad through a glowing cube in her bedroom.
You remember the beginning of New Kids on the Block.
You remember watching The Cosby Show.
You remember Michael J. Fox in Family Ties and Back to the Future.
You know all the words to the Big Red commercials.

Sweet.

Man oh man oh man - how much do I love Tales from the punchbowl by primus - I had forgot how great this album is. In any event - today was grand - because my operator had a hell of a time and he had to do a lot of work and all I did was stand around. hah.

Mrs. Blaileen - she was a sixth grade teacher
And she controlled the children
By using humiliation.
The target always seemed to be Donny.
He was a bit slower than the others.
When he was quite young
His mother died at the kitchen table
While choking on some food.
The fashion of the day
Was bleach and tied Levi's.
Donny decided to make some,
But he didn't know to rinse them.
So he came to school a reekin'.
Bleach stenched filled the classroom.
Mrs. Blaileen began to chastise.
She made him feel like an asshole

Im thinking about actually removing the comment system and implementing a " tag board " sort of thing - which would allow visitors to comment on the fact that they visited, and reduce people's " not posting " due to a lack of response. At first I figured it would be convienent, making the " one liner posts " which were nothing more than responses to other posts which were not only annoying - but when you came to the board with nothing but sixteen-billion-umpteen one-liner " that was a good post billy-bob-joe " posts, you just wanted to gorge your eyes out. I figured the comment system would make it to where if someone wanted to compliment or reply - that could be done without bothering anyone else. Instead - it seems to have turned into a " popularity " poll - a manner in which some people judge who has the ' best posts ' or ' most read ' or ' most enjoyed ' or whatever the hell you would care to image. so - with all this in mind, I ask if anyone else is for the idea, or would entertain to propose another solution. I'm thinking about working it to where you can "click on comment" and a " send an email to the slug " window comes up instead - making comments directly to the postee. thinking. Please post with any ideas ( or comment, as it still exists ).

He stood in line with the rest
And waited got his chance
To take his place behind the glass
And watch the ladies dance

It's the nature of things

He stepped into the darkened space
The air was thick and warm
He drops the coins in one by one
The scene unfolds before him

He stands looking eye to thigh
As she looks down from above
Only to be recognized
As his former love

It's the nature of things

I'm hoping that my " would be " christmas break, in the event that I do get one ( and ill be taking a book to work soon ) will give me ample time to actually making the site " look good " - and get rid of frames. Go figure.

And with that -
I leave you with ....


dood I'm so waa-sss-ttt-eee-ddd
( you see, even in boswania they take cough-drops )

and ...


THIS BOY is responsible for the death of YOUR FAMILY - and the FIRST PERSON to find his place of residence and BRUTALLY MURDER him will get off on a light sentence, four or five years with parole ( ? ) - because of his TRAGIC LOSS due to the september eleventh tragedy.

cheers.

mwa ha ha! I have beaten Andrew!!!

Guess what I just found?

my paintball shirt - the one with the elbow pads.
sweet.
( seriously considers paintball sometime on a weekend when he's off, sometime after christmas )

anyone interested? ;)

ditto...

i hate people.

Congratualations on first post, Andrew. Don;t let Andy make you feel less happy about it just because he's bitter.

or ... it could just be a really horribly done animated .gif
go figure.

For all the happy people :)

Woke up today and went to work
found out it was Sunday
I couldn't care less
it feels so much like a Monday

Came home to my palace in the city
didn't see my children there
looked for my wife to ask
couldn't find her anywhere

Where did they go?
and why did they leave?
are they coming back?
should I stay and wait?
or should I leave?

made myself dinner at the sink
couldn't eat what I had made
poured myself a stiff drink
and thought about work tommorow

Went to bed in my room
turned on the radio and slept
in my dreams I saw a woman
and she stared at me and wept

Woke up today and went to work
found out I had been here for 40 fuckin years
I packed up my things and left
40 years? and I don't remember one thing to cheer about

Went home and the phone rang
was my grandson wishing me a happy birthday
I didn't even know his name
he hung up and I went away

Will I be dead when I wake up?
maybe I already am
I can't believe my life has past me by
and I don't have a thing to show

Where? Where has it all gone?
and I know it ain't comin back
I'm just left here in my palace
waiting for a heart attack

I just bought chirstmas presents for the following people :

My Father
My Mother
Michael
Cristin
Heather
Andy
Jeff
Jimmoi
Heather's Family

if you're not on the list - i want to hear your complaint. and what you want. and maybe ill get you it. then again - there is a 100% chance that I wont, but I'd like to hear your bitching anyway. Because then again, I might be nice. Then again - you know I'm not, so why bother complaining? Hmmm - now you're wondering if I will really get whatever-the-fuck-it-is you want. Well then.

Complain at me. Because I dont love you. You're not on my christmas list, bitch.

Oh - total christmas present cost : 95.54$
hoo yeah.

Bitches. Yes that's right, bitches. People are assholes. My shift ended two hours early today, on the one side that's pretty sweet because I get to go home - on the other I'm losing some money from my paycheck. Tips you ask ? Oh damn! It's Andy's last weekend at Cassidy's, we have to give him lots of shit and tip him just about nothing! Hell ya! That's what we'll all do. For all the crap I put up with I got $28 for 6hrs - hello, why do they think that kind of shit would make me stay ?

I'm angry, very very angry. I don't usually get this angry - the kind were it feels like bloodlust, rage, like some sort of fantasy character berserker rage. I was breathing so heavily as I left work and drove home that on multiple occassions I thought to drive into trees or that on coming car at 60mph. Damnit RAR!
I'm so pissed off that if someone wanted to start a fight right now I'd swing first, hell yes.

I'm with DS - people suck. First post, wow... we're all so excited that you got first post... (deflation)

Woo-hoo

I am the queen of the first post. I rule. A lot. Really, I do.

It is official, I am drop-out, of grad school that is. I hope so anyway. I just turned in my last paper with a note to my prof. asking to rewrite it if he thinks it is garbage. I completed (fingers crossed) seven of eleven classes before they broke my fuckin' spirit. Education rules but people suck!

So I bought the tool DVD, what does it matter to you? Good CD, and good DVD. Mmm, Tool videos are tastey. I might get into still-frame photography with all this money I'm cashing away. Heather displayed an equal amount of interest in the topic as well. Mmmmm... Now all I have to do is find a still-frame camera, learn some techniques, get some good clay, and try to think up some really sweet " stories " - or maybe stories of my own ported into a clay-film. neatness.



Zacho- studio apartments are the shit and want one myself - however when the need come's a rising for " privacy " - it is far from a walk down to the nearest toilet station for a big good poop ( otherwise stated as " there is very little privacy " ) --- but 150 a month for a studio apartment, where in chroist's sakes are you looking? Thats so bloody cheap ( you have to remember I make 13.13$ and hour now and bring in an average of 600-700 biweekly ) - and maybe if we could get to talking ( or if we could make it easier on the both of us, just get our two women associates to start yapping at eachother ) we could consider the possibility of getting a place together... hmm, then again - you'd probably not like that. but I do know that I need to get out of this bloody house. And quick.



I should be buying online-christmas presents, being that they'll probably be late ( no, not probably, will ) anyway. Ah well. If you cant take late-presents then fuck you. I have to remember to send off my insurance. oh - something I thought up today while at work : KEVIN SMITH sucks for the same reasons that SHAKESPEAR sucks. Both of them arent really good with plots or story - however the presentation of their material may be witty, strikingly poetic, and good good - the " meat " of the stuff just isnt what fullfills my appetite.



you'll notice i'm splicing in pictures of random things throughout this post - thats to make it seem like I'm actually making a post of some 'gusto' when, in fact, all the pictures themselves have absolutely nothing to do with the material in which I am posting. Go figure. I might go down to the school today - reguardless of how tired I am. Maybe I will get some burger king for michael. But considering how much of an ass he enjoys posting I am ... hmm - makes you wonder if I should do it at all. One second while I go off to put some coolant in my car.



Hmm. then again - I dont exactly know where that shit goes. I'll just wait until someone who does stops by. The " thing " that lives in my dresser is making noise - i went and opened up one of the drawers and now it's stopped. Hmm. Maybe it isnt a mouse. Maybe something grew. I will have to take apart my dresser to find out. that'll be fun. Or will it ?



I suddenly just got tired. Too bad school-ites, i'll stop by next friday, I'm going to bed.

We no longer have an asian mayor.

I know - it is depressing. I know I was sad when I heard about it on the radio this morning. No more bills for for potsticker taxes or imported pears from fuji.

So lately I listen to talk radio. Loveline and Tom Lycos ( LIKE THE FUCKING SEARCH ENGINE ) - actually it's spelled different, but eh. and a commercial they play quite often is for a website called seattle-lust.com. And so there I was cruzing through all the wonderfull-ness that is PORNOGRAPHY - DEE - VEE - DEES and found a little treat for you all. Introducing . . .


THE LOVE SWING

Yes, will fully functional Special Eyelet Bolt that enables the Swing to Rotate, making every orifice and conceivable body-part that exists OPEN FOR PLAY, a Heavy Duty Link Chain - for those husky girls you might find down in south-hill, a Torque Support Bar for Added Leverage, meaning that if you want your pet HORSE to join in on the hardcore action - the more the merrier! Heavy Duty Straps that can't Break or Tear ( no warranty on this, however ) -- E-Z Spring Open Connecting Hooks, hop right in, get the quicky hang-fuck, hop right out! ...Hight Strength Steel Spring...Fully Adjustable Self-Tightening Buckles with Extra-Wide, Nylon Straps for Maximum Comfort...Soft, Padded Stirrups for Feet, Ankles, Calves & Thighs!!! Easily Installed, The PLEASURE SWING is nearly 100% Preassembled...Simply Press & Twist the Eyelet Screw into any wooden doorframe or ceiling beam, and the hours and hours of swing-sex you'll enjoy will surpass all those times you were a kid thinking how cool it would be to have sex at the playground.

Andy just got here - and I have to go " christmas shopping " perse - but I will mostly be doing that stuff online. Can we say ...

jimmoi's christmas present? I do think so.

I was just watching a Mazzy Starr video which made me super depressed and I started to ponder why I bother to get out of bed every day. So I can go to my job, so I can make money, so I can afford a home with a bed. With that circular logic I get out of bed so I can have a bed to where I am wishing to relegate myself.

Don't grow up kids. At least when you are young you have dreams, goals, and ambitions. When you grow up you are too old to do foolish things and get away with them. Run off and join the circus. Don't tie yourself down.

thats what the whole lot of you need.
syphilis awareness.

dirty monkies.

Primordial Life 3.14 Serial :

Name : Cosmo Cramer
Serial: 17672

the search engine should work now ( even better than before! )
im taking a bath.
then change more things.

FUCK FUALI.COM

that's right.
go ahead and mass-post a bunch of stupid fucking test results.
go ahead.

you wont like what I do.
I just hope you all realise that I dont give a shit what you got on some test. The " how big is your penis " test was funny because of the pictures. I dont care if you're punk. Or emo. Or geeky. I dont think anyone else does. Sure if you take a test nobody has heard of, say - for instance the criminal test - and you post the results - that'd be fine and dandy. But when ... this happens.

augh.
auuuuuuugh.

I have individual ftp access available to me now -
so expect to see " user space " - i can lend out space to people.
for whatever website you'd want up.

I'm on it,
oh - and please re-email NOTMUD@LOOSE-SLUGS.COM if you wanted an email address with the loose-slugs.com ending, because I had to move over to unix, my email was temporarily down - so try re-emailing if you already did.

I am 23% SKA.



I am not ska. I am not even close... I don't even know what skanking is? I may need guidance, get offline and see if I can go find myself a show, or a CD, or something.


Take the SKA Test at Fuali.com!I am 28% ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET.



I could go either way. Deep into the madness of nights filled with coding CGI-Scripts and online role playing games, or I could become a normal user. Good luck!


Take the INTERNET-ADDICT Test at Fuali.com!I am 48% Metal-Head.



Most other metal-heads acknowledge my presence, but they laugh at me behind my back. Maybe I need to stop spending all that money on haircuts and invest in a few Pantera T-shirts.


Take the Metal-Head Test at Fuali.com!

I am 78% Grunge.

I need to go take a bath, man! And I might wanna toss that shirt of mine in the wash? Any grungier and I would be mistaken for mildew, dude. Take the Grunge Test at Fuali.com!

I am 31% EMO.

Not quite Emo Hmm.. i suggest I stopped listening to Dashboard Confessional.... enough said... Now that I stopped looking at my shoes, I know how the real world looks. Take the EMO Test at Fuali.com!

I am 9% Raver.

Have I even been to a rave? I'll go home. Loser. I suck. Actually, I am probably just a normal person taking this test and don't know why. Take the RAVER Test at Fuali.com!

I AM 20% GOTH.

I wanna be a GOTH. But I'm not.
Smoking cloves and too much eyeliner
a goth does not make. I'll go home and take
your Cure CD's with me.

Take the GOTH Test at Fuali.com!

I AM 55% GEEK.

Nerd, Freak, Geek, Dweeb. Sound familiar?
That's okay, cause I will be the richest
person at my 15th year high-school reunion.
If a "con" isn't happening that weekend.

Take the GEEK Test at Fuali.com!

I AM 36% PUNK.

Well, I may know what punk is, but... Okay
maybe some people think I am punk, but is
that enough? Nope.

Take the PUNK/POSER Test at Fuali.com!

quick note :

dont mess with the "search archive" dealy.
I have to re-.... whatever the fuck word was,
where it t....
index.
i have to re-index the website.
thats right.
bitch.

fuck off.

I AM 18% GEEK.

I wanna be a geek. But I'm not. Why would
I even want to be one. Do I think it's fun?
I should try writting an online test application at 1
am in my underwear.

Take the GEEK Test at Fuali.com!

I am 23% ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET.



I am amazed that I even found this test. This is my first time online, isn't it great, I figured out this AOL-thing! But I don't quite know how to turn the computer off.


Take the INTERNET-ADDICT Test at Fuali.com!


I am 39% Metal-Head.



Most other metal-heads acknowledge my presence, but they laugh at me behind my back. Maybe I need to stop spending all that money on haircuts and invest in a few Pantera T-shirts.


Take the Metal-Head Test at Fuali.com!

I am 28% Raver.

Well, I have been to a rave. I probably know a bunch of ravers, but they may think of me as an outsider. That's okay, at least I am not a complete freak. Take the RAVER Test at Fuali.com!

I am 59% Grunge.

I am pretty dirty, all right and, I reek of teen spirit... I would sell my own children for a moldy hotpocket, man. Take the Grunge Test at Fuali.com!

its all good ( and stacks of wood, pray-tell? )
no offence or anything.

you got to admit, editing a post which commends the slugs for "non-edited posts" is pretty funny, thou ;)

well.
for starters - it seems my host people would like to inform me that I HAVE NO DOMAIN REGISTERED TO MY NAME

that's cute. really.
I give them two days to fix it, and they dont.
grand.

that pisses me off so much.
sooo much.
...

almost to the point of edit-fucking Andrew's posts
but after doing that to napster i'd figure that'd probably put a bad wrap.
im not all that tolitalitarian. his post was bitching about having his things edited. it felt rather deserving.

anywho. im gonna see if i can get these fucks with unix up and running - and probably dink around.
whee.

LOL...

zee board has been going dead for a little while and now it appears to have been reserected from the dead.

mud... the board itself does not appear to be working at all right now. why? how is learning unix going? :)

¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
äs it appears many people have said... i will repear

where is Mike Rigney???

stupid unix.
you shouldnt be this difficult to set up.

Only if Aaron doesn;t de-administrate them. and you.

Im saying this real quick -
since i feel like it, im changing my plan over to a unix server.
this ups my email count to quite a few.
so uh.
...

if you want a ( username ) @ loose-slugs.com address,
tell me.

its pop3 too.
and that rules.

I half-way listened to the radio today, or yesterday / whenever.
and they were talking about a " new movie " coming out - or the concept of a new movie that will be released, or something they figured would be a good movie.

the idea was that ...

Sometime in the near future science will allow us to predict and choose the gender of your child you will have. But what else? What of the dark side of science where it can do more than that - such as tell you whether or not your unborn child will be HOMOSEXUAL !!!

Basically the plot would revolve around a bunch of evil people attempting to rid the world of homosexuality. DAMN THE STRAIGHTS! I personally dont think that a sexual preferernce is that big of a deal. heh... cant you just imagine big " wars " over something like this... ah ... I get ready for work.

http://www.fbi.gov/majcases/amerithrax/amerithrax.htm


HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!! Damn. Thant's so funny- looks like an advertisement for shoes or some shit.

What (other than smashing shit) are we going to do this friday?
Anyway I should leave the blue truck at home for a few weeks....
Maybe I'll put the tailgate back on the nice one and we can use it for road-skiing.
But not as far down as before. That guy may not take as long to call the cops next time.

Or maybe I should say:

That fits a little better.

Ha ha ha ha!
I don;t even know who that is!

Not sure what to make of that one.

Yeah.
And I told the truth.

ha ha.
looket that, I got bigger than heather.
OoooooOoooo

Had I a penis:




Ha ha ha ha ah

Micheal is sad that no one has posted. Or, people have posted- but they're lots of posts by the same people. Yeah. He bitches too much, too. Saying I bitch too much. . .fucker. Yeah. So. Hmmm. Oh, yeah-

There's no shame in drinking with a gerbil. . .

Sticking it between your buns- that's a whole different story.

Yeah sure I'm free.......
405-0831

None of the pics really came out good.
And Shari's needs to wash their windows. Ick.

malicious mischief
n.

Willful or wanton destruction of another's property.

Damn right.
We know how to get a weekend started off right.

I passed the sheriff that was no doubt headed for there on the way out.
He looked to be making a U turn after I passed him.
I have a tail light out....but he didn't even catch up.
Damn right.
I don't think he tryed.

FUNZO

Yawn.
Love long weekends......
So what time (approx) should we meet at Shari's?

hehehe...

I have to ride train this afternoon for a looooonnnnnngggggggg time. I have a huge bag full of goodies to eat.... *drools at the num nums* I'm going to Västros for zee weekend. It will be fun most likely considering Amy and that other exchange chic are going to be there. heehee :)

.

you sick fucks.
all having sexual intercourse with eachother.
spreading syphilis like it was COTTON CANDY AT A CARNIVAL!
SIIIIIIIIIIIIICK
SIIIIIIIIIIIIICK

all of you!
SICK SICK SICK!

...
ebola rulez0rs.

Fine... I thought I wouldnt have to edit or post again, but I'm having too much fun with this spanking the monkey business - you diggin this ? 1413mph

hmm. okay - so I got excited again, the music turns me on.. or something.
732mph

610 - 500 - 610 - now every body bow before the master. ( damn im bored )

maybe I should try the slowest one possible - slow is nice too =D hmm... 53 is pretty slow

ah screw that - 598 - excitement!

Alright - I thought I couldn't overcome 732... but I was wrong - 817 so.. who wants to watch ? grins to himself mischieviously

There is no end to my stamina! Excitement -=drives=- me! 729 mph

I think here I shall 'retire' to fitful sleep after such fun spanking the monkey - How ever shall I top that great speed ? Near Impossible!

Holy Shit... I must spank it good...
544 miles per hour! Wooo man!

Ladies and Gents... I would like to announce that I can spank the monkey at 349miles per hour!
Yes thats right! 349 miles per hour

http://www.vectorlounge.com/04_amsterdam/jam/flamjam.html

Edit ( Oh yea, Im the Bubonic Plague =p )

Take the Affliction Test Today!

Damnable damness.
My sister got rabies- why couldn't I get rabies?
Lisa got rickets- I'm soooo jealous.


Guess what?
What?
It finally came!!
What?!?
MY EMT LISCENCE IS HERE!!!
Oh.

Ah, should've figured you wouldn't care. You know what I got i?
Why?
. .because I don't partake in froturism!!!

Oh and:

Take the Affliction Test Today!

First off - Go to Class Act for tattoos.
Second - Don't ever get a tat below the wrist. It's just a bad idea. Not to mention it’ll hurt like hell on the web of your hand there. Even worse on the palm/fingers on the pad.
Third – Don’t let anyone tell you tattoos don’t hurt. But it’s the same kind of pain as paintball, that "Holy SHIT" at first, then ten seconds later it doesn’t matter. I’m not saying pain should be a determining factor, cause it’s not all that bad. Mine didn’t really hurt until towards the end. Even then it was only a fairly dull tinge. But it did hurt. I’d say the worst part was when it started itching, like a week later. That drove me crazy for a few days.

Also-About insurance. I hate insurance companies. With a passion. I like the idea of insurance, that is, having a safety net of sorts, but the people who make money off it are just too damn greedy. Insurance companies should all be non-profit organizations. Period. We’d all be better off if their bottom line wasn’t the only thing that matters.

but wait. I'm not done yet.

Im going to either go out and get a professionally done tatoo ( probably two ) one of them being a pen mark I found on myself and have been re-writing every day since, I dont know how it got there or what not - but it looks so neat I enjoy it.

Then Im going to tatoo " tza " on the little part between one's thumb. to explain - you have your thumbnail - which then has a joint, then another joint - then it connects to your hand. that space between your hand and your thumbnail - there. real little. just so i can see it. if anyone of you would be interested in such a life-scarring endeavour as well - just ask me and i will be sure to hook you up with the funds to do so, with me. yes - it'll be stupid, but it will be OUR stupid, and a great story to tell, none the less.

also - i dont think my current plan allows me to make ftp users for the space I have. I do - however, think that if I upgrade that I can do such a thing. With that in mind - that'd mean my monthly fee would be ... oh - i think 30$ - but not only that - i'd be able to give you all your own webspace to do with whatever you please. and instead of 10 @loose-slugs.com addresses, I'd have thirty - meaning I'd give them to each and every-one of you. But Im thinking if I should charge for the space. I dont think so. So - if I go with the upgrading - and I can then make ftp users - and then I can give you each your own little folder and then link it up here to the main site - we'll have our own little places to put whatever-the-fuck we feel like ( as long as it is isnt too graphic to where the hosting people get on my ass ) - wont that be grand.

as for PHP - I found out how to get my own scripts - but as to being able to get them to work on the damn hosted site is another thing all-together, I dont know how to make the fucking folders able to be written to - and they didnt help me when I asked for god-damn help. So I've got to actually READ THINGS to figure that out. Hopefully when I have the time I will get around to that - and have a better side-bar navigation center for you.

that - and speaking of wasting money - anyone know where I can buy buisness cards for relitavely cheap, but good looking? Im going to make some buisness cards ( again - anyone wanna jump on the bandwagon here just say the word and I will see what I can do ) for either loose-slugs.com ( general cards ) or for myself ( TZA influenced ) - those would be fun to just pass around to anyone you randomly run into in life, say someone who works at burgerking or someone you run into at school or the mall.

I have to buy new shoes today, by the way - just so you know.

also ~
has anyone heard from jeff? i think there is some sort of big hoop-lah with tests and so on going down at the college because he hasnt been posting, or been chatting to anyone online ( that i know of ) - crazy stuff, i was just curious because, to some extent, I am concerned and hopefully he's ok and doing well. Go figure.

now I'm really going to bed.


Take the Affliction Test, God Damnit!

I came home and my father caught me alone in my room.
Damn, here it comes - i thought to myself. and sure enough, it did.
however - my father is funny, he approaches the things he wants to talk about in the same manner as I do - ... that is to say that he doesnt. He asked a total of one question to which I answered : " we're going to find out aren't we? " - and then left it at that.

There is so much more...
...
too bad, so sad - buy the video on DVD and break it in two.
who cares.

Today I hit my 90 days. They gave me a bunch of packets of stuff. It seems that in the event that I want new glasses, they'll pay for the majority of the eye exam, and the glasses themselves. I find that odd. Not only that - but say this bump on my index finger actually turns out to be something of some serious nature and I have to get big $$$ surgery - they'll pay for the majority of that being done as well. I don't get it. Not only do I not get ( get meaning "understand" ) it - but I don't like it either. I dont like insurance. So sue me. I dont like the concept - and I dont like it in practice. Actually, I belive there are two sorts of insurance - one being the one that continually pays for you - be that medical, dental, or eye-care... and then there is the " just in case the event that some random act goes and fucks you over " insurance - being house, fire, theft, and car insurance. You take the good with the bad, and I'd rather just stick with the bad instead of saying " Oh well look at all the good it does " - because I'm damn well tired of hearing about all this shit. I hate it, for example, when someone's house floats away - and they get reimbursed for it - paid - in the event they had "floaty house insurance" - so to speak. Why not just let them be fucked over and die off? I dont enjoy how much government is protecting the daily lives of those who make it what it is. Of course - this hits a vein much deeper than mere insurance. I'm talking about the whole shibang. If I put money in a bank - and then the bank gets robbed, I never expect to see my money again. But what happens? The government makes more money and gives it to the bank. I'll be damned. Here I thought that money was worth something. Go figure. Oh - and then there is the ever present worry about "minimum wage" - which I also dislike. Who gives a shit how much one is paid? I sure as hell dont. Money is onto money as money is. You're saying to yourself - BUT IF I DIDNT GET PAID AT LEAST MINIMUM WAGE I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO PAY MY BILLS !!! - what did I say, bitch? I said I didnt believe in insurance, ohp - no more car bill, ohp - no more house insurance - ohp - no more blah blah blah. Oh - and not only that, but since I was thinking about how you'd still have to pay for your house and car - just not the insurance, I was reminded of INTEREST which - also - is bullshit. I was going to buy a car ( in fact I refuse to buy anything which I dont have the money, directly, for ) and it turned out that I'd be paying 1/4 the price of the car, and then the rest was their " oh here we'll do you a favor by charging you every month, but then we'll put an interest rate so fucking high that you'll be paying for four cars instead of just the one you bought " -- now that's great. No, that's capitalism for you. Make money off the stupid. Hell, make money off the dead. WE ALL KNOW THAT LIFE HAS CHANGED A LOT SINCE THE TRAGEDY - what? My life, with the exception of the fact that I have a job, has changed very little in comparison with this little escapade of " where were you when the towers fell? " - blah blah blah blah blah. I hate people. I hate people a lot. I hate people so much.

As for friday - I'm thinking we brainstorm and come up with some sort of " thanksgiving " tradition we do every year. That'd be fun, but oh - what to do? Not only that, but now that I bought a big roll of HEAVY DUTY ALL WEATHER duct tape - I got a really crazy Idea. - What if instead of TZAing our own cars - that late at night we sneak around and TZA other people's cars? Like, for instance, those cars you find on the side of the road that everyone throws rocks at anyway? Wouldnt that be grand? Just a thought.

Im going to bed now.

No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It would seem that damn lifeboat has lured DS away, too.Damnit.

DAMN YOU, JIMMOI!!
DAMN YOU, TOO, AARON

I love short weeks.
tomorrow is "Virtual" Friday

I've been employed at the same place now, in one capacity or another, for about a year and a half now.
In that time I've been asked maybe ten times, more likely much less, if I am of any relation to the author (my grandfather's cousin Ray). Four of those were today. Strange.

Anyway-Friday....what the hell are we doing? We have to do something. If so, I'll bring the crappy truck and we'll do some more road-skiing. Yeah. But no more shopping carts will be kept....I'm suprised my neighbors didn't call the cops last time. My guess is they just didn't wake up early enough. Still, I'd rather not push my luck.

Who the hell is Veronica ?
Shady responce names = dumb fellas =P

I once again found a rather great 'fortune' cookie, " You have a potential urge and the ability for accomplishment." Now if that's not sexually suggestive I don't know what is.

Bored - yes I am. Entertainment is what I seek...

eep :)

I'm first. and I wasted the glory of first post to tell you all that I got first post. Ha!

Now- I know that sometimes I do things that aren;t quite nece. This is one of those things. ha ha ha ha ha. Sometimes, Bonnie posts about how everyone hates her and is sooo mean to her. A lot- and since she's so good at playing the victim, I thought it would be funny to show, in a Jeff- inspired undercover report minus the pictures, The truth about Bonnie:

GreenEyedFox16: Heather is a big fat bitch. Just because she hates the world as
much as you do does not make her intelligent. I think that it would be a step in
the right direction to cut off all contact with her. What is her purpose? To make
you unhappy? If that's it she's doing a damn good job. Why don't you do the right
thing and get rid of her because deep down you don't like her either and are just
with her for the purpose of being with someone, which, by the way, is very lame.

Funny, yes? Sorry Bonnie- I couldn;t pass it up!

Funny, funny, funny- No wonder she's so paranoid about people not liking her! Filthy language, filthy. Yeah. Now I look bad, but you all hate me anyway. So, yeah. This is funny.

You'd figure them messing with the ftp thingers would make it more reliable.
ah hah.
and sweedish lesbian erotica pornography pictures.
...
egg salad.

Hello ewoa zello....

Here you go Josie. :)

More Swedish Pictures

Anyone else who is interested, go ahead.

I wouldnt be disturbed by death.
Living is a much more harrowing experience.
Anyone can die. In fact - Everyone does.
So it isnt a question of whether or not you are going to.
Or how. Or when. Or why. Or where.
so on, and so on.
Living - however, ahh ...

now thats something to be disturbed by.

Posts are not posting to the board.

Bitches... Im in a pissed off mood today...
I would try to clean my room to vent some of my frustration... but ... Oh no! I did that last week!

Did I get to see that meteor shower thing ? NO! Did I want to ? Yes! Fucking cloud cover bullshit

I'm bored now. Fuck me.

First post.

fleh.

He hovers over me
held up by his strength
by my will
Caressing and coercing
I could be a daughter of his
damn
taking me above
beyond
my wildest expectations
I look in his eyes
-I am no romantic!-
He compliments mine- he says them
deep
dark
mysterious
I can't remember his colour
or hair
He's definately attractive-but
I don't remember his
features of stone- HE
has this ability to kiss me more deeply
hold me more tenderly
than any man before or since
More than twice my age
less than half my lovers
How does he do it?
Touch me so skillfully as he, and I'm game
hahahaha
Does 80pf count=? If so, it shouldn't!
I silently plead morning off-
beg to stay another moment in his arms.
His hands in my hair- mine
one on his shoulder
one in his hair- Red? maybe
I miss Robert
I need Sam
Complications.
I slip into drunkeness without noticing.
until I'm already there.

Andrew - Are you happy or just stuttering? Either way, cool.

Ok so It's a little late, but here we go.......
Mayhem2
You guys got some really good ones from inside the car.

First - there is the matter of movies.

Cassidy, at work - a few of you met him, he calls me collins, mentioned " EPISODE I " - which got me into a frenzy about how much it sucked ass in comparison to the first three. Then I got to bitching about how special effects dont make up for the lack of a plot - and that the pod racing was nothing more than a marketing gimmick. The pod racing no-where compared to the greatness that was Hans Solo running from TIE FIGHTERS and then hiding inside a giant worm - then finding this out. That was action. That was action with a plot. And it was good. Then the begining of the second movie alone is stuff of good-ness. I remember vividly the snow battle, which you knew was coming at the end of the first film - and then there was the big walkers, and the small ones... Luke skywaker and the flyer things and the cables to trip them. GREATNESS.

Then you have pod racing. They couldnt just up and steal the boy, oh no - that'd make some sort of sense / but they had to " earn " or " buy " the boy in an uber race on some backwoods planet which took up the entire duration of the majority of the film. What the fuck. Where is HANS SOLO and his AWESOME MOVES when you need them? I hate the direction movies are going these days. Of course - my little rant didnt help any when he asked if I liked " THE MATRIX " ...

I dont think he enjoyed my answer any.

I stopped by the school today. It was rather uneventfull.
I find life to be more uneventfull as the days pass by. and by.

The board itself seems to have hit somewhat of a posting slump.
ah well, normally what we'd do to fix that is add a bunch of new people in hope that they would compell others to post. I wont do that anymore. In fact - I dont think any changes will be made to the postees anytime soon / as for the board --- due to distractions and so on I've had to postpone my massive revamp. And WINDOWS XP is a bitch-and-a-half to deal with. Although fade is really really nice.

I have plenty of underworldish goodies at my disposal now.
Tomorrow I should have my rendevous with the infamous Rachael.
Hmm, then again - I might add her to the board, but much as Doreen doesnt post much of anything I dont think she'd be compelled to either.

So much for old flames eh?

Oh, yeah-
Congratulate me, guys!

I have won my very first online auction!
Yeah, baby!

You know how sometimes We all get sad about the direction music seems to be going these days [Doooooooooooood, Slipnot ruuullleeesss!!!]? Well, I recently heard a song on the radio that went something like this:

and then I hit my bong
and I hit my bong
and I hit my bong
and I hit my bong
Now I'm like a potato
Yeah, baked like a potato.
So I hit my bong
and I hit my bong
and I hit my bong
and I hit my bong
and I hit my bong
Baked.
Like a potato.
Just like a potato.



and I thought Afro-puff or Afro-guy or what the fuck was bad.

Michelle-bite me.
What time to meet at Shari's?

Hey Tarina:

Just curious, got any more pictures coming my way?

So Mr Andy...
Where do you tend bar?
I think I missed that one.

it seems that a lot of people on the bord have recently gotten a job, are getting a job, or have gotten fired/quite their job.

Why do you suppose this is? Because we are all in some way irreversably linked, or because we all share the same mind... or is it merely my paranoia/imaginatioon.

LOL :P

I had a post
that hung itself
that hung itself
hung itself in the doorway of the apartment where I live
his woman and his little bro
came home from the grocery store
only to find it dangling in the apartment where I live

ill post it.
but i forgot it
i think.
at least i think i think i did.
...

i think .

ooooh yeah... nods his head approvingly

You know it... I know it... ( not really ) Who knows - maybe I want to stick something in First Post later on

but...

Not now! =D

Ok a little lesson here:

If you live-

A) Next to a river
B) At the bottom or top of a big-ass hill

and it rains, bad shit can happen to your house.

If there was a house, right where your house is, or insurance is really expensive, chances are it could happen to you.
SO if you live in Western Washington, at the bottom of a hill, next to a river-------

DON'T FUCKING COMPLAIN WHEN YOUR HOUSE FLOATS AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you.

its almost 12:30. i have nothing to do, so i figured i might as well do this and avoid the periodical request from James. i've been awake for over 30 hours now. since 6 am yesterday..........had a paper due in my humanities class that i've known about for months but didn't decide to start writing until 10 last night =)
i find this method quite stressfull and very unnecessary, but hey, it works for me. got an A on the 2 take home midterm essays that i didnt start till the night before they were due, and that was 2 essays not just 1! yay me. they were on Marcus Aurelius's Meditations in relation to Stoic philosphy and Plato's Allegory of the Cave. Very interesting reads if i do say so myself. i think one certain person that comes to mind could greatly benefit from reading the Meditations and applying it to his life and quit being quite so much of an antagonist, but that's really none of my business and i'm only writing absurd and irrelivent statements such as this because i'm quite proud of even being able to form any sort of coherent thought at this point even though i'm not quite sure if this quilifies as one.
i knew i was beyond the point of delirium this morning when someone i know, who has been heavily into drugs and still smokes a lot of weed, asked me if i was on anything, and he asked in such an accusational and disaproving way. i don't see the logic in that.
so yeah...i think that should be it now since i find myself zoning into the monitor every 10 seconds.......i feel like riding a horsey..?...horsie?...somethin......

Oh damn! First post ? First... what ? First Post!

I feel rather strange tonight / morning - Im enjoying the rain. I used to love sitting in it... just sitting. Soothing I guess - I really miss thunder / lightning storms from Ohio. Those were -actual- storms not this Washington bullshit. Lightning turns me on, have I mentioned that ? No ? Thought that I would share with all of yas.

Maybe I should post a long list of turn ons for all of you, and man - it would be lengthy! Hmm...

Someone asked me to shave - I miss my stubblies, I feel naked...

Juice... juice is good fer you - no clue what's in this juice but I guess it has to be good fer me right ? It's juice after all...

Mmmm...
Underworld-y goodness extreme.

And I got pulled over on the way to work.

And on another note....as of Saturday, it's been three years since {message edited due to possible jinx}......

Work is prostitution of the soul

And I've been at Bethel a year now.
Woo fucking hoo.
I should bring doughnuts....it is traditional.

Right, okay - If someone at the Collins house would get off the damn phone line or even pick up the phone after 15 rings I could figure this damn Tuesday-movie shit out! Maybe it would help if Jimmoi was online too...

I figured we would go watch "Shallow Hal" - Michael wanted to see that anywho, seems funny. So Jimmoi and I can pick up Michael and Bonnie at school - go waste some time until 4:35pm ( when the movie starts, still before 6 so its cheaper ) maybe we'll go buy the tickets and waste time at Shari's until then eh ? Its only 2hrs 10mins long so that's plenty of time to get Michael and Bonnie home so their folks don't go hostile.

er... yea...

How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog

Funny movie. Not as predictable as most.....
little man Collins: Fuck you.
but that did look bad........
Still - fuck you.

Mwraaar! How the hell am I going to buy those books without that damned 20% off coupon and my stupid readers card!? Not in my wallet noo, not where I saw it last - grrr! Things you need always seem to grow feet and legs and end up wandering away a day before ya need em!

goes to bed grumpy Bitches!

ExitSymbol: as you wish, the woman shall be ignored
ExitSymbol: and why is she angry at me ?
( JOSIE ) : cause your poetry makes her crazy. . .
ExitSymbol: why ?
( JOSIE ) : especially in that form, where she thinks you're writing a paragraph but then it makes no sense.
ExitSymbol: heheehehehe
ExitSymbol: it makes perfect sense
( JOSIE ) : It's a gramatical atrocity.
ExitSymbol: grammar is for science
ExitSymbol: like a perfect picture taken with a camera says nothing of the person taking it.
ExitSymbol: etc
( JOSIE ) : So, what are you getting at?
( JOSIE ) : That it's okay to sound like you haven't the slightest grip on the english language?
ExitSymbol: not only is it okay, but imperative
ExitSymbol: and any way, I haven't
( JOSIE ) : . . .
( JOSIE ) : and it shows.
ExitSymbol: should it not ?

HAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

What is this, destiny ?
I became a writer ...

How does the fade become me
nebula of flowing words
translucent massive thoughts,
pass with pain,
in the bowles of my mind.

Diffusion into nothing
fuse me chaos utterly
without became within
And I see the world in randome
patterns of illusions.
And now I see within,
the same damnd randome patterns
matters of confusion.

what, is this destiny ?
pouring out of musings
plainly writhing movements.
Movements of my pen on paper
when in the massive flows
of all the other movements
drifting with the currents
I am lost in them.

What is this destiny ?
Where will all this take me ?
and when did I let go
of the world that once defined me
to seek my own salvation
define myself as human
and let myself become me.

Becoming my humanity.
what is this, destiny ?

i am finally coherent again.... i don't think that that is necessarilly a good thing. that and i am still forgeting english! argh... LOL.... bring on the fun. i have been happily off in lala land for the past 3 or so days. it's been interesting to say the least. i havent' thought of home at all... i even forgot to check up on you guys. hahaha hey, where the fuck did i put the coffee!!!`??????? wargh....... hehe... oh fuck it, i have a while nice black kettle downstairs. who would have thought that i would ever really voluntarilly drink coffee to this degree. i do not want to go back to sleep.... i do not want to drift back into lala land yet again. it was a horrible wonderful nightmare.

no more of those for me... nope nope nope nope nope.....................

around and around and around we go....
where we stop, no body knows...
around and around and around we go...... off to see the ca-ching

for the next 31 days i will travel all over the place, fun fun.... it will only caost me 20 dollars too. haha :P

last night i went to a concert..... it was wonderful............... i ad so much fun listening to them play and the musuc seemed to flow across my mind in a downpoor like the monsoon in the jungle. they played well, and he is renouned at being the best swedish artist for his kind of singing. he made if fun and sad.... i'm glad that i decided to go along. i was the only person there who wast likely under the age of 40, but that didn't matter. they needed to sell about 500 tickets to break even with the Economy place, but there could have been more than 100 or so people there. i found that out from my mamma. it's odd really... there was a mere local choir thingy last weekend, and they were all sold out. i can't wait to go to the next one which is likely on the 22 of this month.

oh look at the time! and pappa is calling me down for dinner.... nummy num num.

hej då, god natt! :P

Who's your daddy!?

Three something in the morning, got home from work - once again I feel... dirty. Goo from drinks on my hands, nasty smoke stench in my hair and clothes, I just feel plain dirty - and fat ( right Bonnie? ).

Sunday - Sleep - Laundry - Cook - Sleep - Sit on my ass - Sleep... more sleep
Monday - pick up paycheck - Buy "Pillars of Creation" and "Sea of Swords" in South Hill Mall. ( Books )
Tuesday - What the hell are we doing Tuesday ? Mooovie ?
Wednesday - Don't plan that far
Thursday - See Wednesday ?
Friday - blurg - work.

Having everything written down like that - the week seems really short.
Im starving, probably shouldn't eat anything this late though...

Jimmoi - who else ya wanna drag along fer mooovies ? Michelle, er Michael is too young fer us =p

Last Night




I fade into the chaos that surrounds me
the inexplicable directions of fee energy
A mass of moving minds
exploring possibility
the living of the lives
some madness of reality

Seething tides of voices
mingle into fusion
murmurs the confusion
of a mass of moving minds

I fade into the crowd
blending in direction
being possibility
the living of my life
drifting in reality

seething tide of voices
overwhelm my words
lost into the fusion
I remain unheard
I murmur at a mass of moving minds
as I fade into the chaos that surrounds me

Well, I changed my name....but it sucked so I changed it back....We'll just stick with -Bradbury- for now.

So-what to do with the site?
Good question. I like the blog, but when no one posts, it loses it's thrill.
And, we should be able to come up with better. After all, it's us.
So......to go with what James suggested (do stuff, take pictures, post said pictures) we need to:
A) Continue Jimmi day. Maybe not necessarily in keeping with the current Jimmi day standards, but still Jimmi day.
B) Find more shit to smash.
Maybe drop the current name. Or not. It really doesn't matter....but a big part should still be sitting around in Shari's and drinking coffee for hours. That's core.

Just some ramblings.

hmmm
my brain is working over-time now.
thinking of things to 'do with the board'
and one of them is just specifically " we do things, take pictures, and post them " - ahh... that will be different. in any event.

if I dont have to do anything tonight ( be it that I dont have that rendevous with Rachael ) - then I might run down to the scene and grab those two speakers which I hadnt seen before. they're huge. and I want'tem.

does anyone have any suggestions to do with the site?
The idea I had sort of tapered off because of work, and lack of interest.

but I'm sure we'll get something going.

any ideas, or helpfull thoughts, though?

I have one question now:

What the fook am I going to do with a PayLess shopping cart?


Also; if anyone wants the black keys from the object of destruction, the back of my truck is littered with them. As well as a few trim pieces and some odd wooden chunk of something. Yeah.

Well ignor the last post....
Mayhem
Funzo.
A good time was had by all. Or at least most.
But the food from Shari's didn't sit well. Or maybe it sat too well.....
Anyway, if the link doesn't work let me know ASAP. It may take some time to load, however, the files are rather large.

Does anyone have Mike's number..?
or perhaps mike?
call me at 405-0831

I have no way to get to sherie's tonight. Can anyone come by and hook up a ride ?..

The manic cycle
dealing with it
looking for salvation from it
can't I just escape it ?
Maybe love will save me
think I'm going crazy.

often with fear I tremble
longing in the tears resemble
without knowing why resemble
unknown things to learn from.

Where to deal with and cope
why can't I escape it ?
Self destruction linger
falling inside fallen leaves
and coming up too fast
in falling up or down
when did I lose my grasp ?

Why can't I escape it ?
Looking for salvation from it
maybe love will save me
falling inside fallen leaves
I deal with it.
The manic cycle

ZEN TRANQUILITY and the art of work a day life.................

As I have been practicing Zen Tranquility exercises daily, I have come to the point where "I LOVE MY JOB" ... each day at work becomes a 4-8 hour lesson in the meaning of Zen. I arrive home feeling happy, content, relaxed, creative, energetic, free and enlightened. ... here is an example "At work today.." .. I love this :::::::
During the {BETHEL HIGHSCHOOL LUNCH PERIOD RUSH }(a typical part of a day at burger king) I was responsible for making all the chicken+fish+taco+ {insert non hamburger here}.. during this time of day these orders pile one upon another very quickly. At first I began to feel overwhelmed by the pace and the illusion that I was under some kind of pressure to perform. I noticed myself drifting into the mode of burgerking employee and immediatly I began a zen exercise. I stopped what I was doing, closed my eyes, and took three deep breaths focusing on how fun and challenging this simple and unimportant activity was. I opened my eyes and began to work as fast and carefully as possible, all the while maintaining my focus on the enjoyment I was feeling. I entered what one calls a "trance" of activity and was so involved in my activity that I didn't think of anything else until two hours later when the rush was over and I looked at the clock only to be amazed that what had seemed like no time, was in fact half of my shift... I then, having nothing much else to do, went into the primary relaxation fase. I again forced my mind into alpha state "between sleep and awake {trance state}.." and began to focus on cleaning and setting things into a desired order. Not losing sight of how relaxing and enjoyable it was to clean and order everything around me placing it into a state which matched that of my mind, clear focused and calm... before I knew it work was over and I left feeling relaxed and rested, happy to have been there and looking forward to going back. These simple zen exercises are so benificial that I often find myself feeling better after work than at any other part of the day.
I LOVE ZEN >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

My friend Daniel from Poland recently {some time in the last five years} moved to seattle. He has dual citizinship because his father is an American and his mother is Polish. Poland has a rich history and is one of the more peculiar nations in europe. It is somewhat near the center of what was once the Roman empire, and hence {having a slovic language which is simply a language of greek ancestry, and a Roman Catholic {latin speeking} religouse background} a very rich culture. I was able to hit it off well with Daniel right from the start because I once dated a Bulgarian woman {also a slovic country, although far more eastern {greek} than poland} and have had a few Hungarian friends {Hungary is also a slovic nation} so I am familiar with a great deal of his culture {cheese,whine, crackers, tomatoes,...etc } he is one of the first people in years I have been able to express my general discomfort about American culture to, he knew exactly what I meant, and like me, detests the french liberalism of the western european nations. Daniel owns a business here in America, a very profitable one at that, he charges people to have a detailed cleaning done to their car. He in essence provides what one calls a service. For the price of $150 one can have their car cleaned and sparkling just like new. Daniel is very successful for being 20 {this is not uncommon for foreign peoples in America, esp peoples from slovic nations where the education systems are something to really be proud of {free college for all citizens, etc...}...}

One day Daniel and I were making the trip from portland to seattle, and on the way, having a discussion about capitolism and the great fortune it provides for many of the people here in America. You see, Daniel does not do any of the cleaning, but rather, he has employees who do it for him. They make about $7/hr and it takes them approximately one hour to detail a single car, thus, Daniel makes about $143/hr from each employee he has. I explained to Daniel that in selling a service he is really only contracting the labor of his employees, he is not producing and selling a commodity, but rather, selling a few man-hours of labor. Thus, taking this prospective, it is easy to see why Daniel is getting rich so quickly, and why his employees are getting forked in the buttox, Daniel is contracting their labor at about $150/hr, and they are only recieving $7/hr. This is perfectly legal, and very common here in the states. I told Daniel that he was ethically lacking, that he was exploiting other people for his own benifite, and that he might want to consider who is doing the real work, and who is taking the spoils.... Daniel's employees are what I call wage slaves, a minimal amount of {abstract labor} is exchanged for a real amount of labor at a rate which is entirely, categorically, fucked up !!!... Most likely, you are a wage slave, or will be a wage slave, in a country where one only has the rights and freedomes that one can afford, this could be "ought to be" considered a form of repression.. your boss is going on trips to europe every summer while you are doing all the work that pays his bills {and buys his new cars and caviar}..This is a form of slavery because you haven't got any real choice, nothing is free, most likely they never will be "until energy becomes free", thus you must work, you must get forked in the ars because you must eat... this is your position in life, this is the reality of your situation... you are nothing but a motion, a deed, a series of actions + thoughts that another person " a capitolist" can exploit legally... welcome to the country our fathers built ... maybe our fathers were wrong ???.. just because you learn in school that you must do things they way they do, act they way they want you to, want they things they want, doesn't mean that you really do ... you don't have to be a willing slave !

do you love me?
of course
then it's ok, besides, you said you were tired.

it begins with that.
and then /

how is she, is she ok?
i dont know, really

the second.

and then work came.

so your throat still hurt from giving kevin too many blow jobs eh?
ha ha ha
you know - there are videos that you cant rent for that
yeah, then I'd have to borrow them from you
hey - I have a viedeo camerah and would gladly take video for you, if that is what you would like
. . .
. . .
I'm just not even going to touch that.
ha ha, yeah whatever you say Dennis.
hey! whot can I saey, I am a man of art!

( bell )

and then there was after work :

Rumour going around that they'll be laying off five people a week
Hmm.
So first (points at me) you can say good bye to your job, then I can say bye to my job, and then maybe even Cassidy will be out of here
Great.

and then home :
What did you jump about when you came in?
huh?
When you came into your room, you jumped - what was it?
oh ... that...

-------------------------------------
I dont know.
Throughout the day I imagined it as just a bunch of conversations. I couldnt see the "in-between" of the conversations, just the conversations themselves. It was really odd. Very odd actually. As if there was no reality beyond that which occured with those around me. And in any event - I might not have to work tomorrow ( be that friday ) because of the whole " slow " ness of work. And then there is the concept that I might have a ... couple ... months off. Then again - I can go to unemployment ( as Jimmoi actually should ) - and they'll PAY ME TO SIT ON MY ASS. They'd pay 60% of my wages. I make 10.22 an hour. ... someone do the god-damned math - we'll say 6$ because I'm guessing 60% of 10 is 6. THAT IS A GUESS. Where is mike and his god-damned math when you need him? Like the bloody police, they'll always be there when you dont need them, and never there when you do.

I had something important to post and I cant exactly remember what it was - in fact, the only reason I am posting is because I hope that through the duration of this typing episode that I suddenly ( BLAMMO! ) remember what it was that I wanted to post - and through the course of my train of thought - post such.

It doesnt seem like that's happening.

I'm slow
eh?
I said I'm slow.
what do you mean?
The answer to your question - is three years, thats what I mean by that I am slow - it took me two years to kiss her
You're shitting me.
No, I am serious, to me - a year is to you ... what... a month? week? day ... fuck, how about a couple of hours?
...
heh.
so tell me you tapped that shit.
what?
...

people at work are terribly funny.

it seems as if through this episode I still have not gotten the *THING* inside of me that I feel an abstract need to get out of me, out. Terrible. Absolutely. And so I will have to lay me down a hundred years and go to sleep without actually fullfilling the reason why I began to post in the first place. Go bloody figure.

Oh.
Me and Jimmoi constantly thought about re-doing, or making a film, about Dune, being that the old version is about as good as having all of your limbs removed, and then sewn together as one limb - then reattatched on yourforehead. It would be an odd sight to see- and rather pointless, WHICH IS WHAT THE FUCKING MOVIE IS. The new one, although has much better ... things than the old one - focuses too much on " the blue eyes " - and I dont like their depiction of the Guild members. In any event - what I have to say, briefly, which still isnt what I had to say in the first place, is that I found something ... to do.

The Stranger, by Albert Camus.

To my knowledge, there has been no film made on the book. And if there has ( which, there probably more than likely has ) it was so shitty that nobody knows of it or anything. I want to make a rendition of the book. And I know exactly how to do it.

Fun.
Goodnight(morning) kiddos.