Not only is Jack not dead or hurt, she's doing very well from the sounds of it. She's going to BYU, majoring in Hebrew philosophy. She's got a year left on her Bachelor's and already has offers for Grad school. She's married. and, well, Normal. Very strange.

Ask her if "Jack" is ok, you know - seriously, and report to us if she'd dead yet.
Or brutally dismembered when someone attacked her. Because I can only wish so much pain onto that woman.

So I downloaded all 26 episodes of Witch Hunter Robin and so far it is pretty lame.
It seems to be an action story wanna/be woman's heart throb story.
The main character is fifteen years of age. But she has some really fuckin' hot hair.
Everytime I catch myself thinking " man, she's got some awesome hair " I say " Hah hah, funny Steven. "
But just in the last episode she got glasses.

Great.
So she has glasses and hair.
Fuck.

I would have stopped watching the show ( as it's mostly boring ) - if it weren't for a character named Amon.
Amon is her 'supposed' partner. He's a witch. And he's badass.

Niggers and Bitches -

You're never gonna believe who I work with.

Jack Jeffries Mom. Weird world.

Man, I suck at this whole "relationship" thing.

Not to mention that "growing a set of balls enough to just say what I mean" thing.

Oh, and let's not forget the ever-elusive "decisiveness"

Eventually, I'll either broach the subject or just give up.


Fucking shit, look at me. I'm turning all...emo.

Like a really big Zach-o.

Next thing I'll be shaving my head and getting weird piercings.

Oh, wait, already have the shaved (or nearly) head. And the piercing thing...well, that's yet another story. For another time.

SATURDAY, MARCH 20th.

You have a good four weeks until that day.
What you'll need on March 20th is the following :

1. Plenty of rest the previous night.
2. An alarm which goes off at 7am to wake you up.
3. 30$ ( +15$ 'spending money' )
4. An taste for running, shooting, and generally getting dirty.

Why?

I went up to operationpaintball on monday and talked with debbie.
she still remembers us. a lot has changed in the respect that they're " big " now.
Instead of putting an email address here for you all to email if you're interested ( you lazy fucksticks ) -
I will be avidly recruiting and bothering people to show up.

Niggers and Bitches -

ps. what I will need from everyone is to send me any and all contacts for any and all people anyone is interested in seeing show up.
I might even have a couple of surprises hidden up my sleeve, people you've all forgotten. heh.

jtay025: I need to find me girls that actually put out. -.-
jtay025: What the hell is my problem... long term relationships hah... lol
jtay025: Meh.. silly teenagers and their VD's...

Ouch. Andy?

That's certainly something to think about.

I suppose that some of my trepidation comes from fear of rejection - which is something I should certainly be accustomed to by now.

But mainly, I just don't want to screw up a good thing (existing friendship) by trying for something more.

It's just all about finding the right time, and saying the right things.

...And not calling my chapstick lip gloss. Of course, if I had flavored chapstick ("oooh, vanilla") it wouldn't matter what the fuck I call it.

Bradbury -

when in doubt, remember this : by not acting upon anything you feel, and by constantly talking to yourself (or others) about the way you feel, you run closer and closer to becoming stuck in the same rut as Andy - where you are nothing more than a stalker who sits at the edge of reality, masturbating to seventeen year olds and talking about how strippers " really really think you're cool "

Be a man. Express your feelings. If you're unwanted, don't take it as a personal insult - you said yourself : you're great pals.

It can easily be stated : " Hey, duder - you've got a vagina and I've got a penis. We're good pals. Wanna fuck? "
her response : " NO MANG, YOU'D RIP ME TO SHREDS, SICKO. "
your response : " Ok, so you wanna go see a movie / get drunk / play volleyball / (whateveritisyoudo) "
her response : " sure. "

I am constantly confused by people's fear of rejection.
I'd say that I myself suffer from it - but I know that ... mmm.
With my past relations in reguard, if I have a 'crush' of some sort on a woman, I let it slide.

Good luck, because when women are involved - you'll need it.
( p.s. - don't call your chapstick lipgloss )

- The Age-Old Dilemma -

It seems I have this friend. This female, attractive friend.

[You can guess where this is going already, can't you?]

So we're friends. She used to go out with a guy who used to be a buddy of mine. An integral part of The Group (JP and I).

[Yep, this is going to be one of those stories.]

I say used to go out with because they no longer are an item. Those broke up because he was acting like an idiot. All the time. He was getting pretty good at it

[Keep reading, or stop now and call him a fool. Your choice.]

The Group decided we liked this person better. Replaced the aforementioned idiotic member with her.

[This is where the part that probably originally came out of Shakespeare starts.]

Now it seems I have grown quite fond of this new friend. She's a good friend. We enjoy doing platonic male-female friend type things. She's not all that much of a redneck. I'm growing out of that rural-American shell recently.

[Hold on, here comes the plot twist none of you saw coming...]

Yeah. So I like her, she likes me. We're friends. But, as all of the males out there have already guessed, I'd rather be more than friends. It just goes with the "Y" chromosome. Nothing I can do about it.
To quote Rodney Carrington: "I'm a man. I have a dick. Pussy is my friend!"
Maybe that was more graphic than I really needed to be, but you all get the point.

[That's right, he's a hound dog at heart. Duh.]

The actual dilemma: Do I ...express... this ...thought/feeling/horniness/whatever..., and risk destroying the friendship? Or just let the (most likely one-sided) tension build?

[There really is no way to avoid the lasting awkwardness that follows: "Wanna screw?" "No."]

Well, I'd be more tactful than that. Maybe only slightly, but not that bad.

[Sure you would]

Besides, there's no saying I'm her type. Or that it would last. For that matter, she'd probably just laugh.

[It's all in the delivery, dumbshit.]

It's all in the delivery. I'll think carefully about what to say. Go over it in my head a few times.

[Oh, man, are you gonna screw this up]

Fuck it. It's all about finding the right time.

[I can't wait for this. Even John Paul will laugh at you after that.]

Well, off to pick her up now. The story of what led up to tonight should be good to tell you later.

[Yeah, they'll love it.]

flash

Hmm.... Don't know what the fuck you're talking about, but Schwab is usually fairly cheap. And their warranty and service are better than anyone.

...


So, I just got home.

FUCKING A

Haven't had a night this wild in some time. That includes New Year's Eve when I went swimming in 36 degree water. That shit doesn't hold a candle to this.

Man O man, have I got some apologies to make once I sober up and get some sleep.

But I will stand by my assertion that small breasts are better. Sampled a few tonight, and the best were in the A cup range.

Heh.

Damn.

having found that post ( i remembered that you had to search for otterballs to find it ) i found an old image hosting site of mine.

check out all these cool images from way back when.

lol, zach's girlfriend.






blue dies, green wins!



man, that was a fucking funny post.



Hey!



good ol flamcakes.



hahahah. NO.



everybody remembers jessica, right?



what a fag.





photoshop tomfoolery



my bitches . . . .



bahahahaha, mike taking my bitches. the name for this file is " NOO.jpg " hahahaha


who is this?




old slug background. IM WATCHIN' YOU!


the original.







seems to be a story of some sort, that I dont remember.



nigga pleez







another story i dont remember.

yeup. good times.

it is FRIDAY zee THIRTEENTH

OOoooooOooo

Jesse gets here march 15th.
I'm hoping that, somhow, crosses with Jimmoi coming down.
I ( James ) will be planning a paintball outing during their visit.
Anyone interested please email this address.

I will try to arrange it to where everyone gets notified with at least two weeks prior notice,
for them workin folk -
and it will most likely be a friday, saturday, or sunday.

also : Bradbury - it seems I will be in the market for buying new tires,
do you have any specific suggestions for my particular brand of car?
I want to get a whole new set ( 4 tires ) - how much would that run up around?
please oh please do not say anywhere five hundred plus. augh.

edit: you'll notice a slight modification to the board, the "link" ability.
by right-clicking on the link url and copying it to your clipboard - you can send people to individual posts on the board, now
and it will automatically put that post for them to view.
for instance :

clicking here will take you to a particular post of interest.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

eh heh heh heh.

-

A long, long time ago there was a young guamanian that nobody knew, or cared to know.
His name was Jeff Paulino.



But Jeff had a problem that could be summed up into just three words :
He was fat. A big fat guamanian, as chubby as they come.

Seniors would laugh at him, entertaining the idea of how funny it would be to push him down stairs and watch him curl up into a ball like a pillbug, squishingly making his way down the stairs unharmed - as his body fat would protect him from injury. Silently he put all of his efforts into academics, and ignored the taunts and teases from his scholastic peers. He cursed them under his breath : " Curse you seniors! "

Eventually, being cast out from his own social order ( Juniors ) he sought refuge with those who didn't know any better ( Sophmores ) - and found two associates who saw past his grotesque weight problem. Andrew Wegenener and James Collins. Jeff enjoyed the company of these two - as not everything that came out of their mouths was " fat fat fat, overweight, fat fat fat" - and they maintained most of their belittling jokes to his ethnicity.

But deep down inside, Jeff knew he would never be able to strike the Senior's words from his mind.

" Hey he looks like he eats pies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner! "
" HAHAHA, You think if we threw our shoes at him that he'd eat them? "
" Are you hungry? Huh, piggy piggy piggy? Are you hungry, are ya? "
" Watch out, Wide-Load coming through the hallways, BEEEP BEEEP! "

They echoed throughout his mind. Eventually this very board manifested itself, and Jeff found that he had a place of solace, a place to go to. A place where nobody would know that he was overweight and ashamed of it. The internet. With the help of the internet he achieved something that he thought he could have never achieved. He found a girlfriend. And as the time passed this girl helped him lose weight - and has become the Jeff Paulino we all know, love, and go to with our troubling problems because "he's such a great listener" - but there is a Jeff that none of you know.

A Jeff that only I remember. And I'm sure if you took his mother's teet out of his fucking mouth, Andy would remember too.

A Jeff that gorged himself on little debbie snack-cakes twenty four hours a day,

who couldn't eat icecream without extra whipped cream on it,
who enjoyed his fries with not only ketchup - but ketchup, sugar, sour cream, cheese, bacon, and grease.
who paniced when he found out that the food he ordered from burgerking, was in fact, NOT supersized.

worried that eventually one day he wouldn't be able to bend over and tie his own shoes.
concerned that nobody would love him just because he could chew on his very own nipples.
bothered by the fact that nobody else could slap their bellies and make musical notes with accuracy such as his.

Remember his post about 'the angles of fat' ?
He came up with that, long ago, after staring at himself in a mirror, buck naked and video taping himself.

Remember his raging against the wallabies?
The wallabies represented much deeper seeded hatred. They represented Seniors, those who had mocked him.

Remember his study of the Toucans?
More like study of the creatures who could regulate their body weight, so he could emulate their eating habits.

Remember those men who were mysteriously murdered by a 'large guamanian' and nobody heard about?
Of course you dont, nobody heard about them.

So just you remember next time Jeff asks you out for tea or coffee late one night...
because deep down inside.



There is a Jeff from long ago.
Lurking...



...
Waiting.

[The Glass Half-Confused]

I was thinking about fat people. Not in the Jimmoi way, where he wants to kill all of them for existing and taking up his space, and not in the Michael Collins way, where he wants to butter them up and show them a night of hot loving...

but in the pity way...

those poor bastards... always being resigned to work in computer labs and as Mr. Wired. (By the way, Mr. Wired isn't just one person... he's actually a series of people. Every now and then, the Mr. Wired you see dies, usually due to cardiac arrest, and he is replaced by one of equal weight and height. Hey, you can't blame them, it's hard to find work, so when one of their own dies, they simply replace them. I think we are on our fifth jOe.)

But, does my pity really matter to them? Will it make a dent in their depression? Obviously weight loss and diets aren't the answer? It doesn't seem like its working. Not when McDonalds taunts them with double cheeseburgers, Burger King with their triple cheeseburgers, and Jack-in-the-Box with their amazing Ultimate Cheeseburgers...

No, Atkins won't save you Parr, Wired, Macauley... You're depression won't be whittled away by Gut Busters, Weight Watchers, or Metabolife.

What you need... is acceptance.

That's right... accept your lot in life. Change that perspective. So you're fat... so what?

Do what this guy did:



And remember, when life's got you down and you can't imagine going on,

just recite this mantra:

"Yeah, sure, I may be fat. I may be socially awkward... but there's nothing wrong with that. After all, I could be James Andrew Collins."

Thank you, and vote Joe Lieberman 2004!

slowly piecing the 'behind the scenes' stuff back together.
if'n you ever need to upload something for the board you can use the following URL :

http://loose-slugs.com/UPLOAD.HTML

hopefully that will encourage photo-wars and old mspaint attacks. heh.

[Query]

Here's a question for all of you:

Why do people smell?

Seriously. And more importantly, why do these smelly people sit around me? Why? It makes no sense to me why i seem to be a magnet for them.. but apparently i am...

its strange, because smelly people have a distinctive smell... it isn't like various smells... there is usually one of a small set of smells...

for example, the wet-dog smell... which is just wonderful... that's what i sat next to today... I was sitting there on the bus, and this lady stands next to me and just stays there... leaving me wishing for death. DEATH.

I think i'm being too harsh about all of this actually. And i do feel somewhat bad for the smelly people, i really do... If i could help them i would. Some people smell and they can't help it. Genetics. You would have thought that nasty smells would have been done away with evolutionarily speaking, but maybe there is some sort of survival value in it.

Who knows.

I lost what i was going with for all of that, so I'm going now. I hate typing when I haven't cut my nails. It bothers me.

Wha...?

dirty jews.

well.

that certainly was an upheaval -
Jeff you may be pleased to know that the forums are destroyed
and in 24-48 hours the nameserver for LOOSE-SLUGS.com will be up and running again.

something to work on.